


Cause/Effect

by ScorpioDarkMoon



Series: Blood Alloy [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Gun Violence, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, Major Character Injury, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Psychological Torture, Shooting Guns, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 149,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17717660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpioDarkMoon/pseuds/ScorpioDarkMoon
Summary: “Gray you know what you’ve got to do.” Nick murmured low.“No!” I swung around and reached through the bars for him. “Don’t ask me to do that Nick! I didn’t come all this way just to see you blow up!”“And I didn’t come all this way to watch someone else die.”





	1. Lets Play a Game

“Nick!” 

“gray.” He leaned into the bars, sticking his hand out the gate to reach me.

I ran forward and clasped his hands. After all the shit I’d gone through to get here, that god damn gauntlet of terror, and this was how I found him? I looked him up and down. “are you hurt? what did he do to you?”

“I’m fine, nothing a diagnostic couldn’t fix.” He waved his free hand dismissively.

“hold on, I’ll get you out of there.”

“not so fast!” a loud high pitched voice screeched over our heads. By this time I was so used to the damn mocking and laughing tone throughout this fucking maze I didn’t even flinch. “you might want to think about that before you open that cage!”

I let Nick’s hand go and turned to face the room. we were on the top level of a parking structure out near Fallon’s department store. The lower levels had been filled with bombs, guns and all kinds of booby traps. There were several close calls getting here, which just made me want to put a bullet in this guy’s head all the more. “where the hell are you Sebastian?!” 

“near by.” He cackled, the speakers couldn’t quite handle it so they just spat out some static to accompany it. that shit had been happening the whole way through this piece of shit maze. “I’ve got one more game for you to play detective. And this one’s a doozy!” 

He drew out the word doozy to the point where I was ready to shoot every single damn speaker hidden around the room. “get on with it!”

“you’ll notice there are two cages.” 

I had noticed that, although Nick took priority. Even over the terrified teenager cowering in the other cage. I eyed him a little contemptuously. Nick would try to convince me that it wasn’t the kid’s fault for ending up here. That anyone would fall for a trap like that. Sure maybe Nick and the kid would but me? when we got out of here I’d kick the kid’s ass. “Photon.” I grumbled in greeting.

“uh, hi Vel!” he answered in a shaky but cheerful greeting. 

“now this is how the game works.” Sebastian continued somewhere over my head, tugging at the last strain of patience I had. “two cages, two bombs, one option. You open Valentine’s cage little Photon gets split into Photons. You open Photon’s cage Valentine gets turned to scrap.”

“Gray you know what you’ve got to do.” Nick murmured low.

“no!” I swung around and reached through the bars for him. “don’t ask me to do that Nick! I didn’t come all this way just to see you blow up!”

“and I didn’t come all this way to watch that boy die.” He jabbed a finger at the cowering kid.

“wait, hold on! Don’t do this Nick! I didn’t ask you to-”

“shut up.” Nick and I both cut him off without a second thought. 

Photon clamped his mouth shut with a distinctive click. 

I reached for Nick’s face. “Nick please, after everything we’ve been through! I can’t let you die here to this piece of shit!” 

“I know.” Tenderly he cupped my face in his hand. the cool metal of his skeleton felt good on my flushed skin. All I wanted was to feel his arms around me. why the hell did this have to happen? “everything’s going to be alright, I promise.”

“did I mention there’s a timer?!” Sebastian cackled. A melodramatic beeping started playing over the speakers. 

I shot a glare at the ceiling before looking back at Nick. “don’t ask me to do this….”

“if you don’t do something we’re all going to die.” He tore my hand away and backed up deeper into the cage. Out of arm’s reach. “save Photon, his life is worth more than mine is.”

“don’t say that!” I pounded my fist on the bars, the gate door rattled dangerously. There was always the distinct possibility that the bombs would just go off on their own. The beeping kept going, ringing around inside my head. God damn Sebastian! 

“we’ve had a good run, but its over gray.” he murmured hiding behind that damn hat.

I dropped my head, pressing my forehead to the bars. 

“time’s running out detective! Make your choice!” Sebastian cackled over the intercom.

“do it Gray.” Nick pressed, still wouldn’t look me in the eye. 

As I reached for the other door Photon grabbed the bars, looking frantic. “don’t! Vel please! Save Nick! Just leave me here!” 

“shut up.” I growled at him, holding the latch. I cast one last look at Nick. He had his head tilted just enough so that I could see his mouth. That half grin. 

I pulled open the latch and grabbed Photon by the front of the shirt. The moment the door swung open an explosion went off in the other cage. Smoke filled the space, completely obscuring the damage. Angrily I dragged Photon away from the cages, baring my teeth in rage. 

“Nick! Oh god Nick what have I done?!” Photon cried, falling to his knees in a blubbering mess. 

I’d be right there with him if it weren’t for the voice that spoke from down the hall. 

“that was a splendid show!” Sebastian cried extatically as he walked toward us. With every step he clapped, making quite the show of his entrance. “true love, cut short when one was too noble for his own good. Sacrificing himself for innocence while his beloved must go one living without him! what an ending!”

“it’s not over yet.” I growled and launched myself at him. 

He was too wrapped up in his gloating to dodge or stop me. the gangly man went down in a heap, clawing and scratching at my face. “no! I won! I won! You can’t do this!” 

Eventually I got a grip on his wrist and forced him to his stomach. From a pocket I produced some cuffs. “Sebastian Atwood, you’re under arrest for multiple murders and two attempted murders.”

He cackled, even while I got the cuffs on his wrists nice and tight. “check your math detective! One attempted murder!”

“two.” An angry gruff voice replied from behind me. 

I glanced over my shoulder to see the cage door swing open. Photon’s jaw hit the ground when Nick stepped through the smoke, dusting off his trench coat. 

Sebastian started wriggling harder under my weight, furious. “not possible! the explosion! I rigged it so that everything in that cage would be eviscerated!” 

“with these bombs?” Nick held up a stack of explosives with a bored disappointed look. “back before the war all cops had some bomb disposal practice numbskull. Should have tied my hands.”

“but how?!” 

“stop wriggling you freak.” Irritably I pressed my knee into his back to take some of his breath away. He stopped struggling after that. 

Photon continued to gape at Nick as if he’d been resurrected. “but I saw the explosion all that smoke… how did you…?”

“smoke grenade son.” Nick shrugged and came to stand beside me. “there’s a reason Gray and I are the best detectives in the commonwealth. Gonna take a lot more than cheap tricks and bombs to take us out.”

“how did you know!?” Sebastian’s shouts were strangled with the weight of my knee pressing down on his ribcage. 

I rolled my eyes. “code words idiot.” The phrase ‘we’ve had a good run’ to be specific. “good thing we came up with one months ago. Never thought it would come in so handy.” 

“come on.” Nick bent down. together we hauled Sebastian to his feet. “it’s back to Goodneighbor for you. Hancock will figure out what to do with you.”

“no! you can’t win! I had you in a cage! Thi-”

I shoved a rag into his mouth. 

One of Nick’s brows shot up at me. 

I just shrugged. “don’t tell me you wanted to hear his insane ravings.”

“true. I’m guessing you cleared the way out of this place.”

“yeah follow me. don’t… don’t touch anything.” 

“I am so sorry.” Photon pleaded as he followed us down the hall toward the exit of this god damn maze of death. “seriously guys, I never meant for either of you to come after me like this. I thought I could handle it!”

“why the hell do you think Gray and I are partners?” Nick scolded him gruffly, reaching for his pack of cigarettes. “going off on your own is a sure fire way of getting yourself killed.”

“not to mention you suck at shooting.” I added blandly.

Photon dropped his gaze as Nick gave me a reprimanding look. 

“what? It’s true and he knows it.” Jabbing a thumb at the kid I gave Nick my best smirk. “and he stole your caps again.” 

“you little bastard!” Nick’s hand went to his pocket while Photon cackled.

“you’re never going to learn old man!” he danced out ahead of us, dangling a pouch of caps that Nick usually kept on his person. 

“Photon! What did I say about sticking close to me?!” I shouted after him. 

He disappeared around a corner. A door opened then the sound of gunfire popped the air. “holly shit!” 

Sighing heavily I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I didn’t clear everything out….”

“he had a bag over my head when he lead me through.” Nick commented while he lit a cigarette. “I didn’t get a chance to see what the maze looked like.”

“it’s not pretty.” We rounded the doorway to find Photon crouched down beside a door, clasping at his arm which bled. “stay close idiot, or you’ll end up looking like swiss cheese.”

“what’s swiss cheese?” he demanded. Judging by that face his pride, more than anything, had been the thing to get injured. 

“hell if I know.”

Nick hauled Photon up by the shoulder. angrily he swiped the caps back from the kid. I’d long stopped keeping track how many times Photon stole his money. It wasn’t even a game Nick was so easy. “never you mind, lets get out of here.”

“Sebastian doesn’t want to make it easy.” I groaned while I dragged the serial killer along with us. 

With narrowed eyes Nick strode over. I didn’t even have time to gloat. With his whole hand Nick punched Sebastian in the chin, knocking him clean out. When he slumped Nick stooped to catch him on a shoulder. “there, now he doesn’t get a choice.” 

“you’re somehow so attractive when you get a little violent.” Leaning my cheek in my hand I grinned at him.

That produced a small scowl. “I’m not sure I like that….”

“it says more about me than you, don’t worry.”

“can we go please?!” Photon shouted like we’d forgotten he was even there. “I’m bleeding out over here! And I don’t want the last thing I see to be you two eating each other’s faces!” 

“it’s called kissing jackass.” Nick shot him a glare.

“we should hurry up anyway, I left Gracie on the lower floors.” 

“not your hound!” Photon groaned.

Smiling I led the way through the killer maze. I’d cleared a path but there were still plenty of booby traps and bombs. Photon almost tripped a wire on the way down which could have gotten us all killed. Once we got passed the scale traps it was pretty much smooth sailing. The corpses and body parts of Sebastian’s other victims decorated the walls in varying sizes of pieces. There was a whole display of heads which I tried so hard not to look at. Photon in the mean time had to stop and throw up once. 

Gracie met us just inside the door. she howled happily, bounding to intercept us. With hands outstretched I caught her, or rather she barreled me right off my feet. her big wet tongue practically could lick my whole face in one swipe. 

“ya know, I’m still not entirely convinced she’s not trying to eat you when she does that.” Nick commented over my head.

Gracie leapt off of me. She jumped up and down at Nick’s feet, desperate for his attention next. While I got up I caught sight of Photon hiding several paces back. “she’s not going to kill you, she’s tame you know that.”

“she bit me!” he shouted in a high pitched tone.

“she gnawed on you a little, there’s a difference.” 

“she left a mark!”

“it was only a bruise.”

“alright children, cool it, lets get out of here before the psycho wakes up.” Nick cut off our bickering which was fine by me. there were times that Photon reminded me a little too much of me. at least me of five or so years ago. just as foolhardy and full of himself. Nick of course would argue that I was still foolhardy and full of myself. Which was probably true.

With a clap I brought Gracie back under control then together we left the parking structure. Photon kept his distance from the big hound although he didn’t just split off on his own like I expected. Since we saved his ass he’d given us a hand on one or two cases. Usually things involving breaking and entering that I didn’t trust myself to do and Nick didn’t want to do. More than once he’d been snooping around in the mayor’s office for us. Every time he’d demand payment, and we’d give it to him. Nick with the usual lecture about doing the right thing. Yep the kid was exactly me five years ago. kind of endearing if you didn’t think too hard about it.

Considering we’d been chasing a serial killer across the commonwealth, and Nick had nearly gone up in smoke, it was a nice day. The sky was a cheerful clear blue which contrasted perfectly with the commonwealth. Days like these were rare. The cool breeze of fall drifted through the streets, a welcomed change from that blistering summer we’d had. What day was it even? Curiosity drove me to check my Pipboy. And my heart sunk. October 28th. 

“Gray you coming?!” Nick called from ahead.

“yeah sorry.” With a shake of my head I tried to forget the date. 

Photon followed us to Goodneighbor and immediately scurried away to the third Rail when we got there. “you’re welcome!” I shouted after him, to which he flipped me the finger. 

“maybe you should have let him die.” Nick grumbled irritably out the corner of his mouth. 

“next time. Promise.” We were joking of course and Nick’s crooked grin said as much. 

“you’re back.” Fahrenheit appeared from the door to the old statehouse. Right behind her came Scot. A ghoul that looked about seventeen. Of course if you thought he was really just a kid you’d be extremely wrong. To say nothing of his age, I’d seen him make a head shot with a pistol from thirty paces away. Not someone you should mess with lightly. 

Nick dropped Sebastian to the ground like a sack of Tatos where he started groaning. “he didn’t make it easy.” 

“Nick had to let himself get captured after Sebastian took Photon.” I added with a little smile. It still amused me that Nick had to be the one to play the damsel in distress. “then I used the beacon Ellison installed in his head to find him.”

“please don’t say it like that.” Unconsciously Nick rubbed the back of his neck, where presumably Ellison had put the transponder. 

“couldn’t you have used Gracie to track your scent?” Fahrenheit questioned blandly, jabbing a finger at me. 

“where would the fun in that be? This way it was like playing hot and cold.” 

“Gray, why do I still love you?” 

“tell me when you figure it out.” I admitted honestly.

Scot though rolled his eyes at my attituded. “you might bicker but the moment we turn our backs you’ll be sucking on each other’s faces.” 

That made Nick drop his head to hide his eyes. If he were capable I’m sure he’d be blushing right about then. “we’re not that hopeless.”

“who said anything about hopeless? It’s cute.” Scot waved his hand, the tightness around his eyes revealing what else he meant by that. It made me and Nick feel guilty to show affection toward each other when Scot was around. There were times we couldn’t help it. Scot did a good job of putting on a show but it didn’t take a well trained detective to pick up on the hints. 

“Scot why don’t you take this piece of trash to the cage until Hancock decides how to handle him.” Fahrenheit gave Sebastian a well deserved kick in the stomach, jostling him to full consciousness. 

He wriggled and groaned, screaming around that rag. Honestly I had no idea where that rag had come from. I’d just refused to listen to his insane ravings. 

Scot dragged the killer off the streets. In the mean time all of Goodneighbor was eyeing the man with rage. What he’d done to the people of Goodneighbor was no secret and they were out for blood. Sebastian was just lucky he hadn’t done anything to Hancock or Fahrenheit, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it in the gates alive. 

“Scot’s shaping up to be a good lieutenant.” Fahrenheit commented as she watched the pair go. “he’s got a good head on his shoulders, gets how to play the game.”

“this isn’t a game Fahr.” Nick grumbled contemptuously. 

“it’s all a game Valentine, just gotta figure out what the rules are.” She turned her hard stare on me, making me stand a little straighter. It wouldn’t matter how long I lived, which could be a potentially very long time, I’d still never be able to stand up to that woman. “you two stand around, I’ll go get your payment.”

“we could just go with you.” I tried to take a step forward but Nick’s hand fell on my arm.

“we’ll wait here.” 

Fahrenheit gave him a knowing nod, looked at me then disappeared back through the door of the Statehouse. 

Jaw set tight I swiped my hand free of Nick’s grip. “I hate this….”

“I know.” Nick responded sympathetically.

“why does he hate me?”

“he doesn’t hate you.”

“oh yeah then what do ya call this?!” in a grand sweep I threw a hand at the big building. “I haven’t seen him in over a year. He actively avoids me. And you and Fahrenheit are in on it.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That damn voice, the one that reminded me of DiMA’s and made my skin crawl. Not even monotone, completely void of emotion. Every time he was hiding something. 

With a heavy sigh I leaned up against the wall of the statehouse. “what did I do Nick?” 

No answer. His silence was better than more lies. His yellow eyes met mine, heavy and dark. Whatever he was hiding wasn’t easy. I had a feeling what that look was about. 

“Nick-”

The door banged open, nearly taking me with it. It missed me by literal inches, my heart leapt up into my throat where it beat like a hammer. “watch where the hell you’re going!” I shouted at the person behind the door.

“Vel!” hands shot out and wrapped tight around my neck. Bent doubled over I struggled to breathe while the blond strangled me. “it’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you so much!”

“Ellison! It’s been a week!” I blurted around gasps for air. 

Her arms were too strong for the geeky type of person she was. It just didn’t seem right. then again maybe they fed you steroids in the brotherhood or something. eventually she did let me go. “it feels like it’s been a month. I’ve had your gauntlet finished for days!” 

My brows shot up, excitement leaking back into my face. 

Nick took a step forward, head cocked. “what gauntlet?” 

“I asked her to build something to help reinforce my left hand.” I explained, raising it to show him. there were still scars on the back of it from where Sun had to go in to repair my broken bones. There had been a handful of surgeries to get me this far, no pun intended. Gripping things was easier, but punching anything was out of the question. 

“and I did!” proudly Ellison produced a long glove. It was made of hardened leather, reinforced by some metal rods running along its length. Hinges at the knuckles, wrist and elbow gave it reasonable mobility. There were even some studs on the knuckles to give it an added punch. I was just full of puns today. “the metal cage should redirect the force from any strike along your arm down to your elbow, safely away from the metacarpals in your hand.” 

“it looks cool.” Was the only thing I could manage to which Nick laughed. 

Ellison pouted a little, unimpressed by my lack of appreciation. “it’s a specialized piece of equipment built especially for you. I’d hoped you’d had more to say about it than, it looks cool.”

“it is cool?” I tried again hopefully.

She sighed like a teacher. “take off your Pipboy I’ll help you get it on.”

Nick watched on with a crooked smile, the kind of look that made me feel all mushy inside. I loved that look, at the same time hated it. why couldn’t he just reserve it for when we were alone or something? at least not in public. At least not in fucking Goodneighbor! His eyes were softer this time though than I’d ever seen before. his hand toyed with something in his pocket. 

“what are you thinking?” 

“hm what?” my question took him off guard, his yellow eyes flickering for a second. “looks good.” 

“it’s not just supposed to look good.” Ellison groaned while she finished the last strap.

Taking my hand back I admired the new piece of equipment. “fits me like well a glove.” 

Nick tried to hide a chuckle behind a hand unsuccessfully, and Ellison rolled her eyes so much I thought they might pop clean out. 

It was a good fit though. there was a soft inner lining that made sure it wouldn’t give me a blister. The leather was flexible where it needed to be and hard everywhere else. It did make me stiff. I didn’t have as wide a range of movement wearing it as I did otherwise. The metal on it gleamed bright in the midday sun. 

Ellison took my arm and jabbed it up against the wall. “feel that? The force should be down at your elbow, not on your knuckles.”

“yeah I feel it.” it wasn’t perfect by any means. Close to it. grinning broadly I wrapped my gauntleted hand around her shoulders. “thanks Ellison! As usual you sure are a genius.” 

She blushed a little, a sight that only made my grin widen. “you needed it, so I built it, no big deal.”

“no big deal, this might be the difference between life and death in a fight.” Nick commented, offering her his best crooked smile. “you have my gratitude.” 

“we’re friends right? that’s what friends do.” She handed back my Pipboy, her eyes now set firmly on the ground between us. “the Pipboy should fit over it, if not I can modify that to make sure it works.” 

“this is perfect Ellison, honestly thanks.” 

To think. When she first got back to the commonwealth I’d been ready to shoot her and be done with it. no way I thought she’d be anything but trouble. I was wrong of course. It was partly thanks to her that Sun had managed to fix my hand, the hardware attached to the bones was Ellison’s doing. Now this. not to mention all the upgrades, and maintenance she did on Nick. Not to mention again the little gizmos we sometimes commissioned her for, like those radio trackers. She was as much part of the agency as Gracie or Ellie was at this point. 

“we may need a bigger office one day Nick.” I commented with a smile.

“that we might.” He put his arm around my waist, kissing me on the neck. 

“what’s that for?” 

“to make you do that.” He pointed at my face.

“do what?”

“blush.”

“sometimes you suck.” 

“told you, sucking face.” Scot’s voice shouted from down the alley. 

“Shut up raisin!” I shot back.

He appeared around Ellison, hands deep in his pockets and smiling. Showing off a row of perfectly rotted teeth. “are you two headed back to the diamond tonight? There’s a celebration for White Chapel Charlie down in the third rail. Something about successful software upgrade?” 

“as soon as Fahrenheit comes out with our caps, yeah.” Nick nodded.

Scot deflated a little. “do you two ever take a day off anymore?” 

“Nick’s version of taking a day off involves long hours at the office, with the door locked, in the bedroom.” I couldn’t help myself. If Nick was going to make me blush in public I was going to embarrass him. 

Which it worked. He let his hand fall from my waist, his head falling forward. “gray….” 

Scot laughed, while Ellison was staring off into space. If she understood what I meant she certainly didn’t show it. that woman was one of the most unaware people I’d ever met. Also strangest. Without so much as a word to either of us she turned around, wondering back into the Statehouse. I watched her go with a cocked brow only to take a step back when Fahrenheit walked out of the door. 

“here, five hundred caps.” Unceremoniously she tossed the bag at Nick. 

“five?” Nick frowned. “that’s not my normal rate.”

“Hancock insisted.” She gave a shrug. The shadow of something passed over her eyes. Didn’t have any idea what it meant. Of course it would never matter how good at reading other people I got, Fahrenheit would forever remain an enigma. “how are you holding up? With the anniversary I mean.”

My jaw fell open an inch while my mind bucked at the question. no she couldn’t mean that. She didn’t even know. She meant the other one. October 15th, the day my family was killed. “I barely noticed it honestly.” Trying to regain some form of composure I shrugged noncommittally. “Nick kept me busy.” 

“good.” Stiffly she nodded. 

Before I could tell her to explain herself, Nick took me under the arm. “we should head back to the diamond before it gets too late.” 

“alright fine.” It would have been nice to stay. Go to the third rail, drink, catch up with old friends, but that wasn’t an option. Over the last year I’d only seen the front gate and the inside of the memory den. Any time we came here the visits were brief and to the point. Nick usually didn’t even leave my side. As much as I wanted to argue with him I knew it would be pointless. 

Scot gave us a small wave while Fahrenheit escorted us to the gates. The cool light of twilight filled the ruined streets. The sound of a gun fight somewhere in the distance echoed off the walls. Could have been raiders and Minutemen, or Triggermen, or Gunners or another gang I’d never heard of. even if it wasn’t sun down I wouldn’t go looking for that kind of trouble. It was nice for a moment just to take a walk with Nick. Gracie bounded out a few paces ahead of us, happily sniffing at her usual spots. It was weirdly mundane this moment. This was the sort of thing I expected couples before the war used to do. Smiling satisfied, I looked toward the sky. “one case solved, a life saved, I’d say we did a pretty good job today.” 

He grunted in agreement, one of his hands finding mine. 

“I never would have thought before that I’d actually enjoy this kind of work.”

“you were never as bad of a person as you made yourself out to be.” 

“as bad as Vel made herself out to be….” With my face downcast I came to a stop in the middle of the street. We were still a few blocks from diamond city. Once we got there I wouldn’t be able to say any of this. 

“ya know, she’d be proud that this is the kind of legacy you brought to her name.” Nick grasped my hand tight, drawing me in against his chest. The barest hint of sadness laced his features, beneath more love than I ever deserved. 

With a grimace I gazed up into that face that I loved. “it’s the anniversary today….”

Surprise flickered through his eyes before it was gone and that frown returned. “I didn’t even realize… I’m sorry Gray.” 

“don’t apologize, I didn’t realize it until I checked the date….” For once I wished I didn’t have a Pipboy. If it weren’t for the damn thing I might have made it through tomorrow without realizing what day it was. I snaked my arms around Nick’s chest, face pressed into his shoulder. 

His skeleton hand stroked gently through my hair. “is there anything I can do? Is there something… I don’t know, that you want to do?”

What was there to do? It wasn’t as if there was a grave to visit, or something I could do to make this go away. The plane and simple fact was that on this day three years ago I’d replaced someone. And no matter what else I had to live with that fact. “maybe a beer or two… just to numb things a little.” 

He stiffened a little under my arms. Frowning I pulled back just enough to see his face. there was something there, disappointment maybe? Like this date had thrown a wrench into his plans or something. the expression was gone almost the moment I saw it though. the next moment, he was smiling softly at me. “I think you deserve it. we’ll swing by the Dugout Inn before we go home.”

“thanks Nick.” Cupping his face in my hands I leaned in to kiss him. his hands came back around me in a second, so tight it almost made it hard to breathe. I could practically taste the apology in his kiss. There was nothing for him to apologize for. There was no need to act so guilty. He ran his fingers through my hair, down along the back of my neck where he tugged me forward a little. Pressed flat against him I had to tilt my neck back to keep my lips on his. Every place we touched buzzed. It would never matter how many times he touched me, or kissed me, it still filled me with delight. 

When we parted it was too soon and a pathetic sounding moan escaped me. he smiled tenderly, the hand still on the back of my neck. “I love you Gray.”

“I love you too….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are, Cause/Effect, the last major installment in Blood Alloy. I hope you’re all still here, and are looking forward to what I promise is going to be a hell of a ride. I have things planned in this one that none of you will see coming. But as usual I want to hear your theories about what I have planned. 
> 
> So, look forward to this story, I’m quite proud of it myself. Enjoy, and as usual, write on!


	2. Sometimes You Gotta Act Dumb

How in the hell could I have been so stupid?! why had I forgotten what day it was? I’d kept track of the fifteenth, I always did. Gray should never be left alone on the fifteenth, I knew that from years of experience. But the twenty eighth? I’d let that slip! How? The year before I’d tried to keep her busy throughout the month of October to avoid both of those dates. It hadn’t worked out that way unfortunately. That had been the second anniversary. The first anniversary had been a disaster. Gray had gotten so drunk she’d barely been functional the next day. On the twenty ninth last year I’d even left Gray with Violet so I could go visit the place Vel had died. That wasn’t to say I was bitter about the switch. If anything I was almost grateful. I was in love with Gray, and she with me. I still grieved for Vel of course. She’d been my friend. 

But how had I forgotten about the date this year?! 

I knew why of course. The tiny metal thing in my pocket now felt heavy. Imagine if I’d done it without realizing what day it was. How would that have made Gray feel? Could that have erased the guilt of the replacement? I doubted it. if anything it’d have made things worse for her. She might have even said no. 

All of this whirled around in my head while Gray slept soundly on my chest. I’d never understand how that was remotely comfortable for her, but she did it anyway. every night. Half naked and covered by a blanket she’d lie on my chest, my arm wrapped around her. I didn’t need to sleep to begin with, but I could scarcely think of sleeping without her nowadays. If I told her that she’d just scoff and challenge me to try, while blushing with affection. The woman wore her heart on her sleeve more and more lately. 

Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night, just to relish the feeling of her at my side. This night though, I hadn’t even bothered to set up sleep mode. Too many things to think about. Maybe I should wait a week. Wait till November. It felt like I’d already waited long enough. Hancock’s words from over a year ago wouldn’t let me rest. _“Before you’ve figured out what you want she’ll be old or dead. And then what? She’ll have spent her whole life with you with nothing to show. Are you going to do that to her? Take her whole life?”_

He’d made that argument because he thought Gray was human. To him Gray’s lifespan was short compared to mine. He didn’t know of course that there was every possibility that she would outlive me. then there was every possibility that we could both die tomorrow. I thought I’d be able to wait, let things go at their own pace. Lately though, I was beginning to feel impatient.

Someone banged on the front door.

Gray shot up right off my chest, groggily reaching for the gun next to our bed. “what?”

“please! Mr. Valentine open up! I need your help!” the frantic voice was gravely. A ghoul then? How had a ghoul even gotten into the city at this time of night? 

Groaning I sat up on an arm, shooting a glare at the illuminated clock on Gray’s Pipboy. “what could be so urgent at four in the morning?”

“I don’t kno---w.” she yawned broadly, covering her mouth with her gun. 

“what’s going on?” Ellie’s tired and confused voice came from the loft upstairs. 

“I’ll handle it, you two go back to bed.” Shifting around Gray, I swung my legs to the cold metal floor. A shiver ran up my spine at the feel of it. 

Of course, Gray wasn’t about to let me go alone. She too was swinging out of bed, blindly looking for her pants. 

“I’ve got this.” I tried.

Which only made her shake her head. There was an adorable little dent in her hair from where she’d been lying, while the rest stuck out like a porcupine. “sounds pretty urgent….”

“and you sound like you can’t shoot straight.”

“give me a minute I’ll … be-” another yawn cut her off. 

The pounding on our front door started again. “please! Mr. Valentine! Security won’t help us! Please!” 

Tugging on a shirt I barely bothered with the buttons. A nice chill had filled the agency while we slept. The dark office looked totally different, almost menacing. Gracie yawned from her bed on the floor between the desks. She looked up at me, head tilted questioningly. The pounding on the door got louder, which made her flinch. “I’m coming! Quiet or you’ll wake the neighbors!” 

At last it stopped. Unlatching the door I let it fall open to reveal a young ghoul standing in the alley. He looked absolutely scared out of his mind. Wearing a red mechanic’s jumpsuit and a baseball cap. He tumbled inside, running right into my desk with a clatter. Once he regained control of himself he spun around. “please! Mr. Valentine I didn’t know who else to go to! They say you’ll help.”

“slow down boy, and have a seat.” With hands on his shoulders I tried to guide him to a chair but he swatted me away.

“I’m not here for a case! This is urgent!”

“if you don’t bring your voice down you’ll wake up Arturo next door.” Gray came shuffling down the hall, clothed in a tank top and jeans. Desperately she rubbed sleep from her eyes. she was far from a morning person. Gracie trotted up to her side, giving the ghoul her equivalent of an irritated look.

The ghoul’s eyes brightened when he saw Gray. He flung himself right passed me, grasping at her hands. Gracie gave him a warning growl in response. “please! O'Malley we need your help! Wiseman says we can rely on you.”

That sentiment didn’t please her all that much. With folded arms I leaned up against my desk. “slow down and explain yourself boy. What the hell is going on?”

“and why are you hell bent on waking up the whole damn town?” Gray added venomously.

The ghoul took a step back, his face falling bad. “I’m with a caravan of traders. We were trying to find a place to camp just outside the city when we got attacked by Supermutants. I escaped but the others… they’re holdup in a building just north of the city.”

Seemed reasonable enough but there was something that tugged at me. this kid didn’t look nearly as sacred as he ought to be if he faced Supermutants. More than that there didn’t look to be any damage to him personally. Either he’d escaped pretty quick or the Supermutants hadn’t bothered him. the fear in his eye seemed genuine though. 

“who else is in the caravan?”

“this sounds urgent Nick, don’t you think questions can wait till later?” Gray frowned at me reproachfully. Going off that look she expected me just to jump in and help these people. Looked like she might just do it herself. Gracie leaned back her head to stare at her, like she was spouting scripture or something. 

“my sister!” the ghoul cried, a few stray tears leaked out over his face. “a few others. Please Mr. Valentine! They need your help.”

“we’ll help.” Gray put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, simultaneously shooting me a glare. “right?”

“grab extra ammo, we’re going to need it.” I grabbed my trench coat from the chair. 

“thank you!” his shoulders relaxed, like we’d just taken a massive weight from him. “thank you so much.”

“don’t thank us until they’re safe.” 

Gray and I stocked up on ammo, checked our guns, then followed the ghoul out of the agency. Gracie trotted at our side, her big tongue lolling out. She had no idea what was going on, all she knew was that we were going for a walk and she liked walks. Security seemed light. Those guards that did stand around didn’t even glance our way. One thing was right, they wouldn’t help ghouls even if they were just innocent traders. I thought about getting Zoon and Piper. It shouldn’t be necessary. We could handle a couple of mutants. 

There wasn’t much of a moon that night, about half full. The stadium lights were dim for the sake of the citizens trying to sleep. It left the streets around the diamond almost dark. It wasn’t an ideal scenario. No wonder the Supermutants got the drop on the caravan. 

“this way.” The ghoul, whose name I hadn’t caught just yet, led us out of the gates to the right passed the perimeter guards. It was well passed curfew, why were the gates open at all? 

Gray running ahead of me didn’t give me much time to dwell on that. For a woman that claimed to be out for herself, she sure didn’t hesitate to help others. No one stopped us or questioned us as we followed the ghoul around the side of the stadium down toward the river. Once there he led us east along it. “it’s just up here! God I hope we’re not too late. They’re hiding in that old Back Street Apparel shop.”

One of my brows shot up skeptically. “last I heard, that place was full of raiders. Your friends might be stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“I think it was cleared out recently.” The boy answered quickly. Too quick for my comfort.

As we came around the corner I could see the store front. There was still some construction around the front of the store. Platforms and a little overhead cover. No Supermutants. Not even a sign of them. “hold up.” I grabbed Gray by the shoulder, hauling her back. 

“what?” she shot me a look.

“Do you see any Supermutants?”

“no?”

“oh no! they’re already inside!” the ghoul tore off down the street frantically. Gracie barked at him, as if to tell him to turn the hell around.

“kid wait!” I tried to grab him but he was already out of reach, running for the door.

Gray let out a groan, unholstering her gun as she ran after him, our dog a pace behind. I hesitated for a split second. This wasn’t right. my gut knew it wasn’t right. whatever we were about to walk in and find, it wasn’t going to be good. Teeth bared I chased Gray into the building. Just inside the door we were both blinded by a floodlight shining directly at the door. Gray took a step back running into me while she shielded her eyes. 

Beyond the light somewhere I could hear the ghoul shouting. “Sis! Where are you?!”

“he’s gonna get us killed….” Gray growled.

“come on.” Gently I righted her then headed off after the ghoul deeper into the store. Still no sign of Supermutants. I expected to hear their dumb voices by now, if not the howls of their dogs. Gracie sniffed at the air, her ears flat against her head and tail low. We’d been worried once that if she saw a Supermutant she might turn on us. That had never once happened. Thank god. 

I took point, leading the way deeper into the store. The light made me squint, making it almost impossible to see what was beyond it. the ghouls’ voice had stopped shouting. My foot caught on something.

“Nick!” Gray shouted, tackling me to the floor. A split second later the shotgun mounted against the wall went off. 

Flat on the ground I looked over my shoulder at her. “thanks.”

“why wasn’t that tripped?” she murmured so quietly I could only hear her cause she was on top of me. “the Supermutants at least should have tripped that….”

“I don’t know.” But I had a pretty good idea. We rose, guns gripped in both hands as we crept in further. The air was still. No sounds, no footsteps, not even a breath. The damn place had ambush written all over it. “we should go….”

“yeah.”

“back up carefully.”

The door behind us burst open. I grabbed Gray by the back of the shirt, hauling her around a corner before the new comers opened fire. Gracie stayed with us, smart girl. They riddled the back wall with bullets. Tommy guns if the spray was any indication. That made them-

“Darla sends her regards dick!” a gravely voice shouted into the space. 

“this was a fucking trap….” Gray swore violently. 

“stay alive, don’t take any stupid risks.” As far as ambushes went this wasn’t half bad. Luring us out with a hard case to get us into a cramped building like this. yeah Darla at least knew how to run a trap if not a gang. 

The Triggermen kept firing as they inched their way up the store. The moment their bullets stopped Gray and I swung out to return fire. We caught one with a bullet to the head and chest. The others quickly hid behind counters and display cases. My cylinder ran out so I retreated. “I count six, maybe more.”

“seven, plus one we killed.” Gray answered while she went back to hiding. “there could be more outside. Or-”

Or they were already inside. The door directly in front of us smashed open. Three more Triggermen stepped out, guns pointed point blank at our chests. I grabbed Gray, hiding her body with mine. The bullets hit hard, tearing through my skin before bouncing off Ellison’s bullet proofing underneath. It hurt like hell either way. I cried, resisting the urge to collapse from the pain.

“Nick!” Gray leaned out from behind me, firing at the Triggermen. A hiss escaped her, I could see blood trickling down her arm. Gracie howled in rage. 

The bullets stopped. My knees buckled while I slouched up against the wall. 

Hands held me up by the shoulders. “stay with me Nick, we’ve got to get in the back.”

“I know….” With a painful groan I forced myself to straighten. Every movement hurt. how many rounds had I taken? Thank god Ellison’s upgrades had held or I’d be dead right about then. 

Gray helped me across the room through a doorway at the back of the store. The bodies of the three Triggermen lay just inside. Gracie had taken a chunk out of one of them. She limped after us, blood dripping down her front paw. Damn them. Behind us I could hear the Triggermen shouting. “they’ve killed the others!” “follow em! Don’t let em out of your sight!” 

The pain was clearing up, bit by bit. Not fast enough. Gray had to haul my sorry ass toward a set of stairs leading up. Behind us the Triggermen pursued, at least they hadn’t opened fire again yet. “grenade.” I croaked.

Gray handed one over to me from a pocket. At the bottom of the stairs I found my own feet. I pulled the pin and lobbed the grenade toward the door behind us. The Triggermen saw it, swearing as they scattered. Before the explosion went off I ran up the stairs, hand on Gray’s arm as we went. The grenade exploded, the Triggermen screamed while the entire building rocked and heaved. 

“now’s our chance while they’re distracted.”

“why don’t we just turn around and fight?!” Gray shouted as we bounded up the stairs.

“they outnumber and outmatch us Gray! We don’t have a choice!” there had to be a second way out. The ghoul from earlier. We hadn’t seen him yet. He had to get out some way. A window, a door anything! 

We sped passed one floor up to the next. Behind us the clear click of shoes on the concrete steps signaled they’d picked up the chase. Gracie growled with anger, her leg clearly slowing her down. she kept pace with us in spite of it, a bloody trail left behind. We reached the second floor only to find the hall blocked by furniture and debris. Gray ran through a doorway, sweeping the room on the other side with her gun. “clear! Lets move!” 

The moment I was in the room the Triggermen came running up from behind us. They fired all at once, making short work out of the wall where I’d been a second before. must have had orders to kill on sight. Darla wasn’t about to let me live this time. Had to give her points for persistence. 

I risked a moment to shoot at the triggermen. A bullet tore through my shoulder but I got one of them in the chest. Gargling his own blood, he went down forcing the others to retreat. 

“Nick! There’s a ladder to the roof! Come on!” 

It was better than nothing. at least we stood a chance of escape. I emptied my cylinder for good measure into the Triggermen. While they hid like cowards I ran through the next room and up the last set of stairs. Gray stood at the base of a ladder, looking suddenly panicked. “what about Gracie?!”

Shit. The big hound limped up to her side, her tongue lolling out while she panted. We couldn’t leave her. And we couldn’t get her up the ladder in time. Damn it. there wasn’t any other choice. I reloaded my gun quickly. “go, escape while you can, I’ll hold them off.”

“you noble son of a bitch!” she shouted.

“don’t argue! Just go!” 

“I’m not leaving you!” with her gun out she faced the stairs with gritted teeth.

“Gray you damn idiot….” 

It was too late to argue any more than that. The Triggermen came around the corner. There were only five of them left. We might stand a chance now. before they’d gotten their own weapons up we fired on them. Two hid behind the wall. Another went down when his head exploded, the last two got in close. They must have run out of bullets with all that spray and pray. Without guns they went for our heads with knives and bats. 

I side stepped the knife, gripping the hand that wielded it as tight as I could. Blood spurted out from between my metal fingers. The ghoul screamed in agony while the knife fell. With a punch I sent him tumbling down the stairs. I turned just in time to see Gray take a bat to the head hard. She stumbled, landing flat on the ground, blood glistening in her hair. Before the Triggerman could finish the job I gave him a hard jab in the ribs. Coughing he stumbled out of the way. 

The other two came running up the stairs next. Gracie howled menacingly before launching herself at one of them. In a tangle of limbs they went tumbling back down. I couldn’t see what happened next as a metal pipe slammed into my temple. Stars danced on my eyes. momentarily dazed I threw my hands up protectively but that only left my sides open. A couple swings of the bat and another of the pipe sent me to a knee. I looked up just in time to see the Triggerman raising the jagged end of his pipe toward my head. He meant to skewer me through the neck.

Something white and blue flashed across my vision. Gray had the man in a headlock, her knife out. Without even the flicker of emotion she jammed her knife into the side of his neck. When the knife came free blood spurted like a fountain, drenching her and the wall behind her. Even before the Triggerman was dead she spun on the next one. at this angle I could only see the side of her face. that expression gave me the chills. It was totally blank. No anger, no rage, no pain, just blank. Her gray eyes were almost half closed, staring down the ghoul. 

He put his bat up between them protectively. It was the kid from before. the same jumpsuit and baseball cap. Maybe he wasn’t a kid. if Scot had taught me anything it was never judge a ghoul by how old they looked. “stay away from me! I’m war-”

With her Pipboy she batted the weapon out of her way then charged. He screamed in fear. Then she got a hand around his throat, cutting it clean off. The blood dripped from the knife in her left hand which remained at her side. She just stared into his face, silent as the grave. 

“Gray you don’t have to kill him.” with a hand on the wall I forced myself to stand. You know that feeling you get when you see a Deathclaw in the distance? The one telling you to run or you’d be something’s lunch? I was getting that feeling right then. 

Gray didn’t even respond. She held the ghoul flat against the wall. He was too terrified to even speak, he’d already wet himself too by the look of it. not only was it pathetic it was embarrassing. Yet still she didn’t move or react. 

Carefully I stepped to her side. She didn’t move or flinch as I laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Gray, come back to me, it’s over, he’s finished. Gray listen to me. I’m right here.”

I watched her eyes start to shake. The barest hint of confusion filled her face. 

Gently I squeezed her shoulder. “I’m right here, everything is going to be fine. You can let him go.” 

Slowly but surely her hand loosened around his neck. The confusion filled her face until she blinked. “sorry, sorry, I didn’t know- sorry.”

With a hand on her arm I eased her grip away from his throat. he collapsed to the ground gasping for breath. Gray dropped the knife, staring down at her hands dumbfounded. Could she really not remember what had just happened? 

“I’m sorry….” The ghoul sobbed painfully on the ground. Gray and I looked down at him. he had his face buried in his hands, too ashamed to look at either of us. “they made me do it. they said if I didn’t they’d kill my sister….” 

I cast one last glance at Gray. She seemed stable, all be it still confused. The blood on her face made her look a little pale. Satisfied I knelt down in front of the ghoul, eyes narrowed. “Darla put you up to this didn’t she?”

With his head clasped in his hands he nodded. 

“that damn bitch.” Gray spat. “she just can’t leave you the fuck alone!” 

“what’d you expect? In our line of work you make more enemies than allies.” I replied over my shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do it, but she said she’d kill my sister and everyone I cared about if I didn’t go through with it. you have to believe me.” the ghoul clutched at my trench coat, desperate for my attention and forgiveness. 

Part of me was disgusted, the part that had almost died during this ambush. Rest of me understood why he’d done it. “you should have just told us from the start.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“if Darla took your sister she’s already dead.” Gray answered bluntly. 

That made him slump, grief rapidly moving in to overtake his features. I wanted to tell Gray off for that, even though she was probably right. Darla wouldn’t have cared, she’d have murdered anyone to get to me. this wasn’t the first attempt on my life. Although it was the first to have made it this far. Up till this point it had been just an annoyance. If she was blackmailing innocent people into bating me, things were getting much worse. 

And at a critical time no less.

“we can’t let her get away with this.” Gray growled drawing my attention back to her. “she won’t stop until you’re dead! Why haven’t we dealt with her already?!”

“she isn’t worth it.” 

“you can’t keep saying that even after this!” she swiped a hand at the blood stains on the walls. 

Her anger made me grimace. Because it was entirely justified here. It was one thing if Darla targeted just me, but she’d already attacked Gray before, and now this? something had to be done about her. Leaving her alive to begin with might have been a mistake. Looking back on it, why had we let her live? Now wasn’t the time to start a war with the Triggermen though. I couldn’t afford it right now, not with how close we’d gotten. I was confident that the Triggermen didn’t have anything to do with Hintzen. Darla’s moves didn’t align with his MO. Tangling with her gang was the last thing we needed right then.

So I made my face blank, looking Gray in the eye. “we don’t have time or resources to track her down. she isn’t worth it.”

“isn’t worth it?!” the enraged voice didn’t come from Gray, instead the ghoul kneeling beside me. his jaw fell open, the tears still streaming down his face. “she’s insane! She took my sister! How is that not worth it?!”

“I hate to agree with the dick that brought us here, but he has a point.” Gray’s voice leveled out. Her ability to rein in her anger surprised even me, at least when she wanted to rein it in. that was rare. “we can’t just let her get away with this Nick. Why are you so reluctant to track her down?”

Because I was already fighting a war that I was desperate to keep her out of. “I promise, we’ll take the fight to Darla soon, but trust me when I say now isn’t the time.”

“what the hell does that mean?” her stormy eyes narrowed tightly on me. she was trying to read me, I could tell. Unfortunately for her, I could turn my face off when I wanted to. 

The ghoul wasn’t satisfied with that. He surged to his feet, bat gripped tight in his hand. Gray and I flinched toward our weapons. Instead of attacking he started shouting. “I thought you could help me! but you’re just like the rest of the diamond locals! You don’t care about any ghoul.”

“that isn’t true.” Gray tried.

He wouldn’t hear it. carefully he backed down the stairs, keeping his eyes set firmly on us. That bat had blood on it, Gray’s blood. “I’m going to get my sister back! and when I do I’ll help Darla make both of you pay for this!” 

Beside me Gray made a move to stop him. I caught her arm, shaking my head a fraction of an inch. Her face twisted with rage and confusion, turning just in time to watch him disappear. Gracie at the bottom of the stairs stood by silently, her head tilted while she watched the ghoul go. At least she didn’t give chase. 

“what the hell was that?!” Gray swiped her hand from my grip, turning her storm gray eyes on me.

I tried to keep myself form reacting. If she even noticed the slightest thing wrong she’d catch on to me. A year’s worth of work, wasted because I couldn’t control myself. “you’re probably right, his sister is dead. there was no point taking that case.”

“that’s not the point!” disgust slipped in alongside her anger. I watched her eyes dart back and forth between mine. My heart felt so heavy in my chest knowing that what I had to say would only disappoint her. “what happened to helping people Nick?! Sure he tried to kill us but he was trying to save his sister. The least we could do is offer him help.”

“it wasn’t worth it.” the forced callous tone made me feel sick. She was right. Helping him out of the situation would have been the least we could do. It was only bad luck that this happened now. 

And the shock that filled Gray’s face just made me feel worse. Mouth hanging open she took a step back. limping, Gracie walked up to her side, nuzzling her leg gently. Absently she scratched the hound behind the ears. “what’s gotten into you lately? You’d never say that before….”

What was I supposed to say? Tell her the truth? Out of the question. this would get better when I was finished, I had to keep telling myself that. When Hintzen was in the ground I would come clean. Tell her everything. for now I had to say the things to keep her safe, even if it hurt both of us. “we should go back, for all we know they closed the gates behind us.” 

My chest felt heavy with betrayal. Eyes half closed I turned to march down the stairs. Gray hesitated for a second. She must be as disgusted as I felt. The pain would be worth it in the end. I had to keep saying that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not wasting any time here, two chapters in and they've already almost died. Sometimes i think someone should reel me in. But believe it or not this is still just the set up. The real drama wont begin for a bit yet. Let me know what you all think! 
> 
> i'll likely be posting Thursday next week, i'm going to be traveling all day friday and i don't like posting late. So look forward to that. 
> 
> So until then! Write on!


	3. Missing Person

Someone knocked on the door. Gracie perked up instantly, her ears up, sniffing at the air. I gave her a look. A bullet had grazed her leg this morning, which she’d refused to stop picking at. I’d had to resort to taping the cut up to deter her. The bandage on my own arm was itchy. She stood up straight when she noticed me looking at her. With a slobbery tongue she licked my hand then settled her head on my lap. Needy dog. 

The knock became a pounding. I kept ignoring it. didn’t they see the sign? It was off, no one was home, at least as far as he was concerned. Nick was off doing something in the city leaving me behind with our dog and my thoughts. Something had gotten into him lately. He could deny it as much as he wanted, didn’t make a damn bit of difference. Turning his back on someone like that kid was totally out of character. 

Fist on metal rattled our door in its frame. Looking totally irritated Ellie marched down the hall from the rooms. “what? I’m not your secretary, why didn’t you answer it?”

“sorry, hands full.” With my hands splayed I indicated the pieces of my pistol lying in front of me.

“cleaning the gun.” She scoffed as she reached for the lock. “you’re always cleaning that damn thing. Don’t you think you might over clean it?”

“a friend of mine used to say the easiest way to die in a fire fight was to forget to clean your gun.” I answered without really listening. Turning back to my desk I busied myself with the metal pieces in front of me. Ellie would take a name, a brief case file and send the client on their way. We didn’t interview clients unless Nick was around. It wasn’t that I couldn’t, Nick just didn’t trust me to interview clients correctly, whatever that meant.

What was he doing anyway? He’d been gone when I got up, for the second time that morning. According to Ellie she’d seen him wonder into the Dugout Inn. Even if Nick could drink, it was a bit early for that even by my standards. It was suspicious. And it wasn’t the first time. He snuck out almost once a week, usually early in the morning, or late at night when he thought I wouldn’t notice. It wasn’t the absence that bothered me, it was the fact that he was trying to hide it that did. 

What could he be up to that made him creep around at night?

Then there were the rumors running rampant in Goodneighbor. People had seen him with Magnolia of all people. Nick had history in the commonwealth, couldn’t pretend otherwise. If he and Magnolia had a thing before that wouldn’t surprise me. and I couldn’t even be upset by it. after all it’s not as if Nick was my first. But what was he doing seeing her now? the paranoid side of me wondered if he was cheating on me. that was ridiculous. Nick was probably the last person in the commonwealth to cheat on anyone. I had to believe that if something was wrong with us he’d just out and say it. so what the hell was he up to if he wasn’t sleeping with her?

“did you hear me?!” a file slapped me upside the head, jostling me right out of those troubling thoughts. 

“I got hit by a baseball bat this morning, could you not do that?” I grumbled, rubbing the bump on the back of my head with a glare. 

Ellie rolled her eyes, her lack of concern a little irritating. “that was a messenger from Goodneighbor.”

“what?” I perked up, my eyes widening in spite of myself. 

If Ellie didn’t know about my exile from Goodneighbor I’d have to give her obliviousness props. She did though, her face softening as she handed over a scrawled note. “he said Hancock hired him to get his message to you. no details.”

“Hancock?” a little dumbstruck, I took it from her. “are you sure the messenger wasn’t here for Nick?”

“I double checked, he said Hancock specifically told him to give it to you.” She sat in the chair opposite me while I read the note. Gracie, dissatisfied with the attention I gave her, bounded to her next. Ellie reluctantly patted her. Those two still didn’t get along that well. 

The note was short and sweet, just like Hancock. Going off the writing he’d written it himself too, not Fahrenheit. 

_Get your ass over here, I’ve got business to discuss. Hancock._

“well that sounds like him….” 

Ellie leaned forward on her knees, brows up. “this is the first time he’s made contact for a year isn’t it?”

“over a year.” Nodding I examined the note’s backside too. It didn’t offer anything new either. Well damn. “I don’t even know why he went radio silent on me. Nick’s never told me.” 

“so is this a good thing?”

“could be, might not be, it’s impossible to tell with that ghoul.” My stomach felt tight with worry. Why was he reaching out now of all times? What could possibly have changed? Was he willing to give me the time of day after we caught Atwood? After all it had been Hancock that hired us to track that psycho down in the first place. This could be about another case. But wouldn’t he have sent a message to Nick instead if that were the case? 

“so what are you going to do?”

Looking up I found Ellie staring at me with a piercing gaze. She had the same intense look that Nick had. It must rub off on people around him cause Zoon had accused me of having it too. Nick really did have an effect on people. “well, I guess I have to go see what he wants.” Tucking the note into my pocket I quickly turned to piece my gun back together.

I could practically feel Ellie’s eyes on the back of my head now. “you’re really eager aren’t you?”

“is it that obvious?” my gun came together with ease. With it in my hip holster I rose. “Goodneighbor is my home and Hancock is family. This last year’s been killer.”

“and what if it’s not what you’re hoping for?” her big eyes were filled with concern and her lips were pursed. Ellie was like a sister to me now. living in such tight quarter will do that to you. I’d never thought I’d consider her that close until recently. 

I tried to split my face with a reassuring grin. “well, if he wants to finally have it out with me, then great! At least I’ll get answers.” When my words did nothing to wipe that tight look off her face I made my tone serious. “I’ll be fine. He probably just wants to talk.” 

“you once said Hancock doesn’t talk, he doesn’t know what talking means.” She pointed out dully.

“no, well yes I did say that, but it’ll be fine. Here I’ll take Gracie with me.” at the sound of her name the big dog left her spot by Ellie, bowing excitedly beside me. 

Ellie gave Gracie the dirty eye, before letting out a breath. “you should tell Nick.” 

Probably true. It paid to tell the resident detective where you were going in case you became a missing person. Besides that I didn’t want him to be scared when he came back to find me missing again. Didn’t need another Far Harbor incident. “you said you saw him at the Dugout Inn?”

“yeah.”

“alright if I don’t catch him there tell him for me when he gets back from whatever his super-secret business is.” My voice dripped with sarcasm which drew a chuckle from Ellie. She was as in the dark about Nick’s business as I was. 

“will do.” 

Even if I wanted to back out now Gracie was too excited at the prospect of going out. So throwing on my coat I strode out into the morning air. A fine mist had settled over the city. It was enough to chill me right down to the bone. Gracie seemed unaffected by it as she trotted happily down the alley toward the market. As soon as a guard passed the end of it though she retreated back to my side. It hadn’t been easy to train her to be weary of people like that. Especially in Diamond City. 

It didn’t help that most of the normal citizens did love her. We passed by Moe who called out to us with a wave. Arturo too. His daughter Nina used to be shy about coming anywhere near me but as soon as she spotted Gracie she ran forward. “Hi Gracie!.” The big dog was only a little shorter than her but at least twice the weight class. Thankfully she knew that and kept her excitement down as the little girl grabbed her around the snout. 

“make sure your big mutt doesn’t steal my little girl away eh?!” Arturo called at me.

“she’d be a better parent than you Arturo.” I answered in equal tone.

Moe barked out a big loud bout of laughter that made Arturo mock scowl. “you got something to say yank?”

“O'Malley said it all.” He answered.

Gracie licked Nina’s face up and down before extracting herself. Giggling Nina skipped away, displaying the mutant hound spit like it was an honor. It didn’t feel that way when you woke up to that big tongue all over your face. leaving the old friends to bicker like a married couple, I made my way to the Dugout Inn. 

Vadim’s murder, and Yafim’s departure had left the city hurting. The Dugout Inn would never be the same the paper said. And it was true. Zoon did right by it of course. Under his supervision the place thrived like it had before. the drinks were of a slightly different caliber than they had been under the Bobrov brand. I wouldn’t say better but I wouldn’t say worse either. There was the usual sparse midday crowd, Hawthorn swapping stories at the couch with whatever literally wondered in. and of course Zoon standing at the counter cleaning a glass. The cliched sight tugged at my lips. 

Gracie barked once, bounding up the counter like she might sit at one of the stools. Zoon set aside his glass, leaning over to smile at her. “well, well, it’s my best customer! I hope you’re hungry, I’ve got a juicy bone in the kitchen for you. fresh from Polly.” 

The mere mention of the word bone and Gracie’s entire backside was wagging with excitement. Approaching the bar I gave Zoon a curt nod. “heard any rumors lately bar keep?”

“I ain’t a news reporter.” He retorted with a half grin that said how little he took it seriously. “did hear tell of a scuffle last night out on the Charles, know anything about that?” 

“nope, nothing, not a damn thing.” With my elbows on the bar I leaned against it to give the place another thorough once over. My frown deepened. “Have you seen Nick this morning?”

“the detective? Yeah he came through here.” My heart immediately fell at his next words though. “he’s in room three with that Magnolia chick from Goodneighbor.” 

Magnolia? Here? I thought she never left Goodneighbor! And he was in a room with her? What the hell was that all about? Calm down Gray, it might not be what it seemed like. After all Nick wouldn’t do that to you. with a steady calm breath I stood up from the counter to nod. “alright, thanks. Look after Gracie for me for a sec will you?”

“I happen to like her, more than I like you anyway.” chuckling to himself he wondered off around the bar, Gracie hot on his heels for the promise of a bone. 

With a sharp breath I steadied myself to interrupt what seemed like a sketchy rendezvous between two old lovers. Ugh, why did I have to think that? My skin crawled with displeasure as I walked through a door then up to one marked with a big white three. Inside I could hear murmuring voices. Should I knock? Walk in? burst in? kick the door down? there were so many options.

After a moment hesitation I decided to knock. 

Their voices went instantly silent. My heart clenched at the sound. With my arms hanging loosely at my sides I waited and listened to the familiar footsteps approach the door. it flew open and there stood Nick, his gun out pointing at me. “Gray!” his eyes went wide with shock, the gun quickly dropped.

The room was about the same as the others. Couch, single bed, desk and drawers. Sitting on the bed directly behind Nick was Magnolia. It would have been almost impossible to recognize her out of the Third Rail, let alone in that outfit. Instead of her revealing red dress she wore a simple hoody and jeans. To be honest I’d never even thought she owned something like that. She was still fully clothed, so was Nick. That at least was a good sign. 

The gun though wasn’t. Nick took a step back, trying to hide the weapon behind him as he moved. He kept his hand on the door, only about half open. “Gray what are you doing here? Do we have a client or something?” 

Or something. I couldn’t help but give Magnolia a dark look over Nick’s shoulder. unashamed she looked right back at me. that face wasn’t even remotely guilty or sheepish. Her confident posture used to inspire me as a kid, now it pissed me off. “I got a message from Hancock.” I finally said after a moment.

Nick’s lips turned into a tight frown. Behind him Magnolia shifted. “and what does he want?”

“he told me to get my ass over there, he’s got business to discuss, his words not mine.” Before he could even ask, I tugged the note out of my pocket and handed it over. 

He read it quickly, eyes darting across the page. “elegant as ever John. Give me a second to wrap things up here and I’ll-”

“no, you do whatever you’re doing here, I’ll go alone.” 

That clearly didn’t sit right with him. he glanced back at Magnolia, who still hadn’t moved, before leaning in to whisper. “are you sure? You don’t even know what he wants.”

“and what do I have to be afraid of?” it was a loaded question. he could hear it, not that I made a secret of it. it wasn’t a general statement, I legitimately wanted to know what had kept Hancock from seeing me for so long.

And Nick didn’t want to tell me, as usual. His jaw clenched with the silent debate going on behind his eyes. for a machine he sure was expressive. 

To my displeasure it wasn’t him to answer the question but Magnolia. “you don’t have anything to be afraid of. it’s good that Hancock is reaching out at last.”

The way she said it made me think she knew more about what was going on than I did. Nick cast her a look over his shoulder one more time then reached out to cup my face in his hand. “you don’t have to go alone. If you wait I’ll go with you. it’ll be fine.”

“that’s my line. he asked me to come, if he wanted both of us he’d have said both of us.” That answer didn’t sit right with him. the tiniest sliver of fear leaked into those glowing eyes of his. With a breath I clasped his hand flat against my face. “I’ll be fine, it probably won’t take me long. So don’t send the search party until I’ve been missing for a couple days.”

“don’t joke about that.” He genuinely didn’t like that quip. Why was he so scared of Hancock? Was whatever had happened between me and him that bad? If he would just tell me the truth this would be much easier. 

With a shake of my head I kissed him gently on the lips. Where I’d intended it to be brief and sweet, he grabbed the back of my head forcing me to lean in. Nick’s passionate lips moved roughly against mine. His usual eagerness combined with something else. I let him kiss me like that until I ran out of breath. With a hand on his chest I made us part. “what was that for?”

“can’t a man kiss his girlfriend the way he wants?” he asked with a crooked grin. 

“save some of that for tonight when I get back.” one last time I kissed him on the jaw before slipping away. “I’ll see you later Nick. Good to see you Magnolia.”

“take care Gray.” 

It didn’t register in my head till I was out in the bar what she’d called me. Gray was my name, more than Vel was at this point. The only reason that I let the rest of the world call me Vel was because Gray was Nick’s name for me. not the world’s. It didn’t bother me that someone else used it. but it did make me uneasy. Especially coming from that woman. 

It was just a name though. maybe it was a slip up. After all, I’d nearly bitten Violet’s head off once for calling me that, back in the early days. God to think it’d been almost two full years since we’d become friends. Weird. So I swept the itch on the back of my neck aside. No point dwelling on something that didn’t matter.

I picked Gracie up from Zoon. She now had a big bone in her mouth that was perfect for her size but all too big for an ordinary dog. With her precious cargo we left Diamond city heading east toward Goodneighbor. The ever present sounds of gunfire echoed in the long distance. Nothing to worry about there. the trip to Goodneighbor was quick and uneventful which was almost a shame. A good fight might have taken my mind off my tightening stomach. the gates came into view but I forced myself not to hesitate. Whatever Hancock wanted from me it had better be something good.

Gracie at my side filled me with just enough confidence to walk through the gates without Nick for the first time in a year. If I expected there to be any fanfare when I walked through then I was sorely disappointed. The guards, let alone anyone else, barely spared me a glance. Daisy did wave at me brightly from her shop, which I waved back. Could always count her trying to play nice with me on the off chance I’d freelance for her again.

Fists clenched at my sides I stalked up to the old statehouse. Inside it smelled of stale beer and cigarette smoke. The combination made my eyes water a little. You knew it had been a while if my childhood home made me want to cough. The place was weirdly silent. I couldn’t even hear Ellison down in the basement working. The guards were standing stock still at their posts. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. 

Slowly I inched my way up to the second floor. The doors to Hancock’s den were wide open and there he was. Good to see that some things never changed. Same red frock, same trifold hat, same scarred face. there were chems scattered across the coffee table in front of him like usual, with the unfinished game of chess beside them. What did surprise me was the metal brace on his left leg. It was a little reminiscent of the gauntlet I wore. Reinforced leather wrapped around his leg above and below the knee. A hinge let him bend properly. The boot was thick too, steel toed. 

For a second I hesitated, one foot on the landing. Gracie huffed impatiently at my side, confused and annoyed by my pause. Her huffing must have drawn Hancock’s attention because he looked up. “well, get in here. Don’t keep me waiting.”

No turning back now without looking like the world’s biggest coward. I strode the few feet into the room, Gracie close at hand. she probably could smell the nervousness I couldn’t hide. 

Hancock looked up just enough to eye Gracie. “I heard you owned a tamed mutant hound. Didn’t believe it.”

A quiet muted growl drifted out of her chest. With a hand on her head I quieted her. “her name is Gracie.” 

With a grunt he turned his attention back to the chess board in front of him. his shoulders were tense. I noticed the shotgun on the table beside him. That wasn’t a good sign. “close the door and take a seat.”

Dutifully I did as he ordered. The click of the door made me feel cut off from the rest of the world. Fahrenheit wasn’t here. Some part of me hoped she’d be the one to meet me instead. Faced now alone with Hancock I wished I’d accepted Nick’s offer to come with. Trying to look relaxed while Hancock’s hand was a literal inch from his shotgun wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t shoot me, I kept telling myself. He’d probably stab me so at least I’d see it coming.

The silence was so thick I found myself hoping that Ellison would burst in with a crazy science experiment. No such luck. Hancock sat there, taking several long steadying breaths before he forced himself to make eye contact with me. “Fahrenheit tells me you’ve been doing good work with Valentine.” 

“yeah.” Where exactly was he taking this?

“do you enjoy it?”

It was a simple enough question, but that face was loaded. He was asking that question for more reasons than simply asking it. my fists clenched in my lap. “I do enjoy it Hancock. You know me I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it. it’s helping people what more do you want from me?” 

That seemed to satisfy him a little. With a nod he dropped his gaze back to the chess board. His hand slipped noticeably further away from the shotgun. My shoulders untensed. “I’ve got a job for you, and I want to make sure that you’ve got your head in the right place before I give you the details.”

“what’s this about?” the fear was finally leaving me to make way for the anger I’d felt for so long. “what’s with the change of heart? You haven’t spoken a word to me for over a year and then you suddenly reach out to me? what the hell is going on?”

A half smirk on his face, Hancock leaned back in the couch. That cocky grin boiled my blood. couldn’t he take anything seriously?! “I was dealing with some business that you couldn’t be involved in. sorry it took so long.”

You lying pain in my ass. That didn’t explain anything, let alone the shotgun pointed at me. ¬¬I wanted to punch him, my wrist even ached with anticipation. He had no damn right to treat me like this. brush me aside then act like nothing had changed. 

Make him pay.

Sucking in a long breath I forced myself to stop. With closed eyes I focused on the feel of Gracie huffing beside me. my pulse beating in my ears. There was no point losing control here. Hancock would just fill me full of holes. “I’m not a kid Hancock, I’m a detective. Whatever you’re hiding from me I’ll find out.” 

Still smirking he looked me in the eye. relaxed, like it was a normal day. “might not want to look down that alley kiddo.”

Usually when he called me kiddo it fueled my rage. It had the opposite effect this time. It actually put my anger at ease. It was a nice reminder of the old days. Even if the old days were dead and gone. Almost literally in this case. “alright Hancock, have your secrets. What’s the job?”

“so you’ll take it?”

“I get the right to tell you to go fuck yourself right?”

“as usual.”

“then talk.”

From a pocket he produced his pack of Mentats. His affection for chems was never a problem for me. Mentats being his favorite, I knew he took them to make himself feel smarter. He took them a lot during chess matches. Especially against Fahrenheit. “we’ve got a missing persons in Goodneighbor.”

“why didn’t you contact Nick then? He and I were here yesterday.”

The interruption irritated him plenty. His dead face twitched, black eyes tight as they found me. “this is Goodneighbor business. He wouldn’t get it.”

That actually sounded a little ominous. With my hands clasped I leaned over my knees. “alright Hancock, who’s missing?”

“Marowski.”

“sorry say again?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Marowski. You know the guy that runs the Rexford.” 

“yeah I heard the name I just can’t believe that you care.” as far as I knew the only reason Hancock tolerated Marowski running anything in Goodneighbor was cause he had too many friends in low places. rumor had it that Marowski used to be a major chem king pin. In fact Nick was fairly sure he still had a chem lab out in the four Leaf fish packing plant. He wasn’t exactly one of Hancock’s trusted men. There was a running bet in the town on how long it would take Marowski to try stabbing Hancock in the back. 

“I don’t, but as much as I hate to admit it Goodneighbor needs him.” sounding less than pleased Hancock put away his Mentats to focus on me. “half the money that Goodneighbor makes come from chem sales. I ain’t gonna lie. Marowski keeps up the supply, maintains relations with the dealers, and provides a place for chem heads to take their high.”

“the Rexford is just one big chem den, I get it.” as a kid I wasn’t aware of any of that. The Rexford was just a hotel I thought. Hancock was only confirming suspicions I’d had for a while. “and you need Marowski to run it.”

“not just run it, he’s got the suppliers, the chems and the clout to maintain it. Without him and the Rexford Goodneighbor’s caps are going to run dry fast.” It was weird talking this kind of business with Hancock. Usually he laughed in my face and told me to mind my own business when I asked after this sort of thing. Didn’t know how I should interpret his sudden openness. 

“alright I get it, he’s a pillar of the community, a rotted, disgusting and backstabbing pillar, but a pillar none the less.” 

That got Hancock to chuckle thinly. For a moment he seemed like the ghoul junky that had raised me. the moment passed quickly to be replaced by that serious look. “he and his body guard, Stan Slavin, went missing four days ago and no one’s heard from them since.”

I resisted the urge to point out that if someone had heard from them then they wouldn’t be missing. Instead I sat forward, subconsciously reaching to rub Gracie’s big head. I’d never taken on a case myself, without Nick. I’d teased him for it before, but honestly I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with it on my own. Then again, if I asked for Nick’s help that probably wasn’t what Hancock wanted. Was this some kind of test? Was the ghoul even capable of thinking that way? Eventually I took in a long breath. “well, I guess we’d best get started. I want to snoop around his office before we go looking for him in the ruins. Chances are there’s a clue that will help narrow my search down.”

“our search.” While I rose, he rose, stiffly maneuvering with the brace on his leg.

My brows shot up. “you’re coming with me?”

“sure am.” Like it was the most logical thing in the world, he hiked up his pants and slipped his shotgun in the loop on his belt. 

Skeptically I watched him, brows drawn. “you sure about that? I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder expecting a bullet.” 

“neither do I.” the way he said that made it seem like he wasn’t even joking. Did he honestly think I’d turn around and shoot him? for no reason? Why did he want to go with me then? 

“you make no fucking sense.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out i had more time today to post than i did yesterday, still flying back today but here we are. 
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the journey to some extent. Still not much in way of the main plot but i don't think i'm boring you haha. at any rate, do let me know what you're thinking.
> 
> till next week, write on!


	4. I Don’t Like Acting Dumb

I watched Gray go silently, my hand gripping the door so tight I felt the wood splinter beneath my fingers. It took all my willpower not to run after her and stop her. 

“she’ll be fine.”

Slowly I turned to look Mags in the eye. She still sat on the bed, leaning over her knees with her elbows to scrutinize me. Breathing a sigh I closed the door quietly. “what does John want with her?”

“I don’t know but if he’s reaching out like this he doesn’t want revenge.” She answered confidently. Her tone, much less her words, did give me a little comfort. “he’s the kind of man that takes direct action, he wouldn’t go to the trouble of luring her out like this if he was out to kill her.”

“I hope you’re right.” it hadn’t seemed like John was ready to see her again. The few times I’d spoken to him about it he’d been reluctant to even entertain the idea. What had made him change his mind so abruptly? “Fahrenheit will probably step in if things get violent. She knows everything about Gray that you and I do.” 

“I doubt it will get violent but it’s good to have the back up.” Mags practically exuded confidence. She gathered her legs up under her on the bed, smiling at me with a knowing look. “but more importantly, let me see it.”

“see what?” I seriously had no idea what she was getting at.

“the ring.” 

If I had a heart it’d have skipped a beat. My hand pressed up against the pocket of my trench coat. 

That made her chuckle. “don’t look so surprised Nick. I’ve seen that look on hundreds of faces. I’m just surprised it took you this long to decide to propose.”

Now that the cat was out of the bag I supposed there was no reason to pretend otherwise. Slowly I took the small simple ring out of my pocket. It was the same color as my skeleton. They both gleamed dully in the light of the lamps. She took it gently from me, aware of how important it was. “I made it from… a bit of me that Ellison chipped off….” Saying it out loud the idea suddenly sounded incredibly stupid.

Mags though smiled at it, the bitter sweet frown on her brow. “that’s so like you Nick. She’ll love it.”

“think so? It ain’t weird is it?” and here I had been so confident when I came up with the scheme. 

“no, it’s perfect for you two.” She handed the ring back over, careful so that it wouldn’t drop. “so why haven’t you proposed yet? What’s stopping you?”

There was a question. what was stopping me? I’d been ready to do it yesterday. The date had stopped me that day but what about the day before? or the day before that or the day before that? I’d had the damn ring for over a month now. “it just… hasn’t felt like the right time yet.”

“Nick.” She drew out my name, reminding me too much of a teacher the old Nick had in high school. “it’ll never feel like the right time for you. What’s really happening?”

Dropping my gaze I sank down onto the bed beside her. All I could see was Gray’s face this morning. That blank, expressionless sadism as she held the ghoul at the throat. it wasn’t the first time. I’d just never seen her lose control that much before. “something’s wrong with her…. I don’t know exactly what but I’ve got a pretty good idea.” 

Mags leaned into me, one of her hands on my shoulder. “is she slipping?”

“define slipping.” Huffing, I ran a hand over the back of my neck. Bent doubled over I stared at the ground grimly. “she gets violent more often lately. She’s always enjoyed the fight but this… it isn’t like her. Then last night I saw something….” 

She didn’t move, her hand still rested on my shoulder. for someone that’d been in the wasteland for so long she was much more touchy-feely than the norm. “what happened?”

After taking in a shuddering breath I forced myself to tell her. “last night we were called out of the agency to help some ghouls that were being attacked. Turns out it was an ambush set by Darla and her Triggermen.”

Exasperatedly she rolled her eyes. “why am I not surprised?”

“yeah well…. It was close. We both got banged up and when it looked like we were both about to kick the bucket she changed.” Another shudder ran down my spine just thinking about that look. It reminded me too much of the way she had been back when Rush got his filthy claws on her. “I don’t think she even knew I was there. she lost her mind. I’ve never seen it that bad.”

“have you seen it before?”

“once or twice, during close calls, but not like that.”

Gently she squeezed my shoulder, her version of a reassuring gesture I’m sure. I wasn’t used to seeing this kind of behavior in people these days. “so she only slips up when things look serious? I know it isn’t a long lasting solution but maybe try to keep her out of fights for a bit?”

“don’t you think I’ve been trying?” Miserably I leaned over my knees, face buried in my hands. “I do everything I can to keep her out of fights for that very same reason. It’s half the reason I haven’t told her about our investigation. What if it happens too many times? What if she never comes back from one? Amari said there would be side effects I just thought I’d have more time.”

That was a stupid thought Nick. Of course I wouldn’t have more time. That would be too convenient. Too convenient for this god damn world at any rate. What would the old Nick do? There’d be options before the war, hospitals, programs, doctors even to help with this. After all he’d gotten his brain scanned for trauma like what Gray had gone through. Well not exactly what she’d gone through. Alright nowhere near what she’d gone through but trauma either way. 

“maybe Amari has some ideas.” Mags’ voice broke me out of that loop of thoughts. Dropping my hands I stared at her side ways. Her face was sympathetic all be it hard. The woman knew how to handle my depression. “she’s the most well versed in the functions of a human brain. She may have ideas on how to prevent any more bleeding.”

“I haven’t told her about this.” out of fear. The moment I admitted this out loud to anyone it suddenly became a problem. It wasn’t a problem I could ignore anymore though. if it got any worse….

“maybe it’s time you did.”

“what could she possibly do? She said herself when I told her to reset Gray that there were going to be complications down the line.” It felt wrong to argue about this. I was beyond frustrated. The consequences of Rush had far and wide reaching effects. Why couldn’t that jackass just stay dead? 

“I understand.” Mags remained as patient as ever. How she dealt with me when I got like this I’d never figure out. “but she might have an idea of what to do now. it’s been over a year. She may have learned something new.” 

“maybe….”

“Nick, for the love of god pull your head out of your ass and do something instead of wallowing in grief!” her voice went so loud it made me flinch. I found her angry blue eyes rounded on me, reminding me a little of Violet when she caught me brooding after Far Harbor. “if Gray needs you then you’ve got to help her. Forget about Hintzen and Irma and look after her.” 

It made my heart sink a little. “how can I do that? I can’t just let Hintzen run free. I need to finish him or Gray’s mental health wont matter.”

“I get that, but what happens to Gray in the meantime?”

“you’re not helping.” Frustrated I surged to my feet, beginning to pace the room. suddenly I felt like a caged animal. This tiny room just wasn’t big enough for this. my fingers fumbled around with my pack of cigarettes as I removed them. “I’m worried about her. I’m terrified for her. But Hintzen is the priority. I can’t rest until I’ve seen him brought to justice.” Even as the words left my lips they made me feel sick. How could I say it? Gray was my entire world. 

Hintzen threatened that. 

Mags appeared in my way, hands on my arms to keep me from even maneuvering around her. “stop. This isn’t helping anyone.”

“how am I supposed to protect her from herself?” 

“start with Amari. If anyone can help her it’s her.” Her blue eyes went soft. The flicker of something deeper flashing in their depths. Those looks sometimes unnerved me. Nothing ever came of them. Didn’t mean I could ignore what they meant. 

I had to. “I guess there’s no use losing sleep over it until Amari tells me otherwise.” 

“exactly.” Could tell by her face that that didn’t exactly satisfy her. 

“now lets talk about why you’re here.” Knowing Mags she’d try to steer me exclusively toward taking care of Gray. And if it were any other case I’d listen to her. Hintzen was special, I wasn’t giving her the chance to ignore what brought her here. “what has Irma told you?”

Reluctantly she sighed. Her hands slid from my arms while she sat back on the couch. No doubt I was disappointing her. A fact that I was rapidly becoming accustomed to. “nothing new.”

“how so?” with my arms crossed I leaned into the dresser against the wall. Smoke drifted through passed my eyes from the tip of my cigarette, making Mags hazy looking. 

With a hand she took her hair out of its ponytail. Her thick black hair cascaded around her shoulders. Like the kid, I had to wonder how she maintained that kind of hair in this time. “Irma came back to me with the same information as a month ago. Connections to the Gunners and the merc gang the Rust Devils.” 

“so we’re running out of connections to find.” It seemed impossible. After all it had only been a year. I had to give it to her, Irma had devoted herself to this cause. Probably out of self preservation if anything. She had no love for me or Gray. “do you think it means we’ve plotted his entire empire?”

“we’re still missing the major prize.” She answered in a quiet murmur. 

“James Murtagh.” I replied.

With a grim nod she looked to me. “There’s no trace of him. we know that the orders going out to the network come from him but there’s no indication of how he communicates with them.”

“so what you’re saying is that we can’t track his movements.” Slowly I took a long drag from the cigarette. The smoke filled my mouth. Normally that would fill me with calm too. it never seemed to work when we were discussing this. “and you’re sure that Irma is doing her job right? she isn’t just trying to avoid making an enemy out of Murtagh.” 

“we don’t want her making an enemy out of him.” she countered with a little steel in her voice. Up until recently Mags had been on the same page as me with regard to Irma and this entire scheme. Lately though, she’d started to have sympathy toward the woman. at least she had one advocate, like hell she’d get it from me. “the whole point of this was to get a map of Hintzen’s network in the commonwealth without alerting him. she’s had to be careful as to not arouse suspicion.” 

“then it’s time we stop tiptoeing around it and go straight for the head.” 

Mags stiffened a fraction, her eyes narrowing on me like I’d turned into something else. “you want her to contact Murtagh?”

With a huff I let the smoke drift out of my mouth before stamping out the cigarette into an ashtray. “if she can’t find a trace of him then we’ve got no trail to follow. So if you can’t go to them, make them come to us.”

With folded arms she dropped her gaze. Her familiar blue eyes were overshadowed by her swooping bangs making it hard to read her. “are you sure about this? you’re talking about making the final move. What if we haven’t mapped his entire network? What if there are still pockets of allies that Irma has yet to discover. You wanted to dismantle the entire empire all at once because you’re worried that someone will just pick it back up.”

“I know what I said.” Things had changed. After what happened with Violet and the kids how could I let Hintzen walk free anymore? I’d promised her that I would make Hintzen pay for what Virgil did. When he was just targeting me I could handle it. now was an entirely different matter. “we don’t have time. And for all we know we already have all the connections well in hand. we could be at the end of it.”

“or there could be a whole other network that we don’t know about.” Mags countered venomously. “I want Hintzen gone as much as you do, but if we aren’t careful you could just make him mad and then what? What do you think he’ll do to you and me if we fail?”

“I’m not worried about us.”

“what do you think he’ll do to Gray?”

He had already done the worst possible thing to her. Bringing Rush to the commonwealth, supplying him with the caps to break Gray’s mind apart. That went beyond simply messing with her. As a synth that was damn near unforgivable. Had Rush won, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. That woman might have just killed us all for her own satisfaction. 

That of course wasn’t Hintzen’s plan, that was Rush’s. it stood to reason that the mad man I’d been chasing for decades could come up with something worse. “he won’t lie low forever. He’s planning something, something big, I’m sure of it. he tried to bring Violet under his thumb. If that isn’t a move to something bigger then I’ll eat my hat.”

Mags retreated, leaning back on her arms to stare me in the eye. “and you’re sure you’re willing to take the risk? If things go sour and we’re wrong about his network, then he’s going to come at us hard and fast. We won’t survive long enough to go to ground.” 

Once again, it wasn’t me or Mags I was worried about. Gray was my priority. Mags made a good point either way. I was talking about the final moves. There were only two ways this could go. Either we finished Hintzen once and for all, or I failed. In the case of failure I was just dead. in fact dead would probably be the best possible option. Hintzen had already long proved he had enough imagination to make my life a living hell. If I was gone what would happen to Gray? Even beyond the threat of Hintzen, what would happen to her? 

Before we did anything maybe I should put in place a contingency to ensure her safety. Make sure she’s taken care of if the worst happened. Would that even be possible? short of leaving the commonwealth for good I wasn’t sure Gray would ever really be safe. She’d have to go to a community far away from Boston, that was tight knit. Hintzen would have a hard time making a turn coat out of anyone in such a community. 

My thoughts fell on one place. Acadia. “how fast do you think a message can reach Far Harbor?”

“a couple days give or take why?” one of Mag’s brows shot up quizzically. 

Sarah shouldn’t take that long to get back. The depression from early was entirely forgotten. Something filled my chest. I wouldn’t call it excitement, maybe confidence. Finally we had a plan instead of just fumbling in the dark. “I need to make out a message to an old friend. Can you wait here and then you and I will go back to Goodneighbor together.”

“what?” her frown deepened. “Nick you’re not seriously going to go through with this are you? Hintzen is dangerous now, imagine how bad it will be when you make him angry.”

“caution has never gotten me anywhere with Hintzen.” The steel finally returned to my voice. Confidently I stood straight, arms crossed tight over my chest. “it’s time to finish this.”

She could see from the look on my face there’d be no talking me out of this. Even if she could I doubted she was convinced either way. She hadn’t been chasing this man for two decades. If she had then maybe she’d have some ground to stand on. More likely she’d agree with me. with a long sigh she let her head fall forward so that her hair hid her face from me. “alright, I’ll wait here. Don’t take too long.”

“ten minutes.” 

For the first time in several weeks it felt like I was no longer walking around in a haze. My path was clear. Uncertainty was gone. Gray would be taken care of, Hintzen would pay for all the things he had done or I’d die trying. Things might have even been looking better for Gray and Hancock too. Even if what I had to do next would most likely just get me killed, I was finally doing something. I just had to make sure that Gray was taken care of first. 

I ignored everyone on the way back to the agency. The sign was off and at least there weren’t any clients standing outside our door this time. Sometimes people didn’t get what an unlit sign actually meant. Post war commonwealth. Inside I found Ellie sorting through some files at her desk. “oh hey Nick, did Vel talk to you?”

“yeah she found me.” I responded without much thought. Where was that blank Holotape?

“what do you think about Hancock making contact?” she continued. 

“it’s probably a good thing.” 

“is that all you have to say about it?” 

“considering I don’t know any more than you do, yeah.” Finally found the Holotape hidden in one of my drawers under a stack of old notebooks. With it in hand I turned to find Ellie eyeing me skeptically. “what?”

“are you two doing ok?” 

“why?” was she talking about me and Gray? Of course we were fine. 

“I may not be a detective like you or Vel but I know you two pretty damn well.” She replied with that no nonsense tone that made me smile. Usually when she took this tone with me it was because I’d taken another unnecessary risk. “you keep sneaking off without telling her, and she’s gotten more depressed lately. What’s going on?”

“has she noticed me sneaking off?” that was a stupid question, of course she’d noticed. How could she not? I met with Magnolia at least once a month, sometimes once a week. And usually that meant sneaking away to Goodneighbor without Gray. If she hadn’t noticed then I hadn’t been teaching her well enough. 

“yes!” exasperatedly Ellie threw her arms up, rolling her eyes deeply. “she thinks you’re cheating on her!”

The tape fell from my fingers as I rounded on her. “that’s ridiculous! I’d never cheat on her. I’d sooner break up with her than cheat on her!”

“have you said that to her?”

“well… no I just thought it was obvious.” 

With a groan she pinched the bridge of her nose. why did all the women in my life treat me like I was a school boy? “you can’t just assume that Nick. You need to tell her the truth. I don’t know what you’re getting up to, and I don’t need to, but she does.” 

“it’s not that simple…”

“at least tell her you’re not cheating on her with Magnolia. Don’t give me that look I’ve heard the rumors.” 

My jaw had fallen open to protest when she said that. The protests died in my throat remembering the look on Gray’s face when I opened that door. she’d been expecting to find me with Mags. How could she possibly think I’d cheat on her like that? “she should know better, I’m not that kind of man.”

“love makes us stupid, you of all people should know that.” She giggled. 

Guess she was right. how many cases had I taken from perfectly happy couples who thought someone was cheating? Most of them turned out to be nothing. some of them, turned out true. The same sort of thoughts must have been going through Gray’s head. Catching me and Mags sharing a hotel room probably didn’t help. sucking in a breath I nodded. “alright… next time I see her I’ll tell her.”

“good.” Satisfied Ellie went back to sorting through files. 

Gray wasn’t the only one I needed to worry about. Slowly I brought shameful eyes up to Ellie. How many times had she been put in harm’s way because of the actions I took? Kellogg had beaten the shit out of her. Stern had beaten her. Rick had hurt her. All because of me. if I was going to do this thing, I had to put her out of harm’s way.

“Hey Ellie, can I get you to do me a favor?”

She paused, frowning sidelong at me. “what?”

I held up the Holotape. “I need to send a message to Far Harbor. And I can’t just trust anyone with this message.”

Skeptically she turned to face me, hands on her hips. “why can’t you deliver it yourself?”

“please Ellie. I know this isn’t in your job description but I need to make sure this makes it.” I let some of the urgency I felt leak into my face. never felt right manipulating her like this, but what other choice did I have? I couldn’t tell her the truth.

After a few silent minutes she nodded. “alright then…. Why far Harbor?”

Here came the tough part. when we got back from Far Harbor two years ago we’d agreed to tell no one what really happened. Gray and I had maintained our story about a confused teenager running away from home. We hadn’t even told Ellie the truth. We still couldn’t tell her everything, just enough to make it clear what I needed. “you remember when Gray and I took that missing person’s case from the Nakanos?”

“yeah…?”

“it started as a missing person’s, but Gray was the one missing.” 

Getting her to listen to me was hard. She wouldn’t let me talk half the time and the other half she just kept giving me that disbelieving look. Eventually she stopped doing that, and just let me tell the story. By the end of it I’d left out major details. DiMA for one, and the replacement thing, and of course Gray being a synth. 

She nodded when I finally stopped. “alright, setting aside the fact that you two have been lying to me for two years, I understand. So you want me to deliver this message to Sarah? The synth that Vel saved when she was a railroad agent?”

“that’s the one, yep.” It had taken us a good twenty minutes just to get that little fact smoothed out. 

“and she’s at Acadia?”

“yes.”

“and Acadia is a synth refuge? A settlement full of synths?” 

“yes. When you get to Kenji ask to borrow his boat to Far Harbor. Once you get there find Old Longfellow, he’ll take you to Acadia.” 

“not to be rude here Nick, but why are you having me do this? couldn’t you just send someone else?” even while she said it she took the written tape from me. hopefully the message on it would be enough to convince Sarah to see me. She and Acadia were my only hope of making Gray safe if something happened to me.

“I wasn’t about to tell just anyone about the synth refuge. You know what the commonwealth would do if they found out about it?” 

She nodded. “alright then, I’ll leave right away. Is there anything else you’d like to tell me. like why you’re sending me off to the other end of the commonwealth, and why you and Vel are working separate cases?” 

“I’ll explain everything when you get back.” with Sarah, hopefully. 

“fine.” Rolling her eyes she pocketed the tape. “I’m going to ask Hawthorn to come with me, I’m not marching half way across the commonwealth alone.”

“that’s fair, let me give you caps to pay him.” I didn’t even give her a chance to argue. Quickly I dug around in my desk for the stash of extra caps I kept. As I shoved it into her hands I looked her in the eye. “be careful and come home safe.” 

“if you were really worried maybe you’d come home more often.” She jabbed with a smile.

“I’m sorry….”

“Nick I was joking.” 

“look I promise, when things settle back down, things will change. You have my word.” I looked her hard in the eye to which she blinked.

“It was a joke Jesus Nick, lighten up or you’ll put your circuits on overload.” Laughing lightly she tugged herself out of my reach and down the hall. “good luck with whatever you’re doing.”

I shouldn’t need it, but it was a nice sentiment. And at least Ellie would be safe with the Nakanos for the time being. As safe as I could make her. Gray with Hancock too would be safe. And Mags was with me. that’s the best I could do without locking them up in a bunker. So I left the agency headed back to the Dugout Inn. 

When I arrived Magnolia was already waiting for me outside, a cigarette dangling from her hand. as I arrived she didn’t even give me a reprimanding look. I still apologized. “sorry that took so long, Ellie needed details.”

“not a problem. You’ve got the message sent?”

“yeah, a friend should be here in a couple days to help.” with my hands deep in my pockets I half turned. “should we get a move on?”

“sure.” For a minute there it looked like she was about to say more. Probably try to convince me one last time that she and Irma could deal with Hintzen and that I should take care of Gray. If she had tried one more time I’m not sure what I’d have done. After talking to Ellie it felt even more wrong to throw caution to the wind to put a quick end to Hintzen. Even knowing that Gray would be safe and that Sarah was on her way, it was a heavy burden. 

With a groan I dropped my head so my hat covered my eyes. “maybe we could see Gray in Goodneighbor after we’ve talked to Irma….”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Her voice became light, sympathetic even. How long could I trust her to have my back before things went south?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized as I was editing this chapter that I make mention of something going on with Virgil and Violet. Well, Shallw had originally planned a fic between Shattered and Cause/Effect, it’s a really good story from what she told me back then but I don’t know for certain if she is every going to actually write it. So if you want to hear that story you’re going to have to dog her for it. Sorry. 
> 
> At any rate, still a little more set up, and some personal dialogue there. Wasn’t so sure about the ring idea but I’m with Mags on this one, I think it’s very much like Nick and Vel. You tell me. I’m very sick right now so I don’t have much else to say other than see you next week, till then write on!


	5. Good Dog Bad Cop?

When I was a kid Hancock had beat the snot out of me for sneaking into the Rexford. I didn’t get it. what was wrong with sneaking into a hotel I questioned. Back then I didn’t get what it actually was. And as far as I knew a lot of travelers didn’t either. Ask the right people though and they knew. They knew that Marowski still had the biggest system of chem contacts in the commonwealth. And they knew that Fred Allen in the basement brewed some of the all-time best highs. 

Since then I’d stayed away. Partly to avoid Hancock’s wrath and partly because I figured it out a few years ago. That’s at least one thing that never rubbed off on me from Goodneighbor, I couldn’t stand chems. Never had never will. The Rexford wasn’t for people like me. so I’d never had an occasion to actually step inside. It was pretty close to what I remembered as a kid. all be it a little dustier. 

The lobby was silent as we entered. Behind a bar to the right stood Rufus, the resident handy man if I understood things right. on the left was a collection of loungers and a coffee table. Dead ahead was the hotel desk. An older woman with ridiculously curly gray hair stood behind the desk. I had a vague memory of being yelled at by her when I snuck in here as a kid. there were one or two workers scattered around. They all gave Gracie scared confused looks when they spotted her. By now everyone knew about her of course. So at least they didn’t attack.

“Hancock!” a loud excited voice made me jump and turn. A man in a blue coat strode forward, arms outstretched like he might hug one or both of us at the same time. “here for some more Mentats? Just brewed up a fresh batch!”

“not today Fred.” Hancock answered while the smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “maybe next time alright?”

“aaahh come on Hancock, been weeks since I seen ya! Come on down stairs, I’ll let you have your pick.”

I shot a brow up at Hancock while the debate flashed over his eyes. “seriously?!”

“I’m thinking.”

“we’re on the job.”

“so?”

“so if you’re getting high down stairs with Fred No-Braincells over there I’m ditching your ass.” 

“hey now, ya don’t need to be rude! Hancock’s always said you’re a firecracker….” Fred threw up his hands, dangling from one being an inhaler of Jet. 

That got my interest. “what does Hancock talk about when he’s that high?”

“don’t we have a case to solve?” 

Smirking I followed Hancock up to the lobby desk. The woman had kept her old watchful eyes on us the whole time. When we got to the counter she jutted her chin at me. “long time no see O'Malley. Last I saw you, you barely came up to my hip.” 

“sorry, what was the name?” I tilted my head.

She smiled at me, reminding me a bit too much of a grandma I’d met once during a case with Nick. She’d been kidnapping older men, putting their heads on mannequins and calling them Geoffrey, her dead husband. “I’m not surprised, the name’s Clair Hutchins.” 

“right Clair.” Yeah name didn’t ring a bell. Although her voice did bring back memories of dodging a coffee cup. It reminded me of a ghoul’s. Maybe this woman was beginning to turn or something. “listen Clair, you probably know why we’re here.” 

Her brows shot up in the most convincing imitation of innocence I’d ever seen. “I got nothing. now unless you’re here for a room I’m gonna have to ask ya to leave.” 

“look at me Hutchins.” Hancock muttered in a low menacing tone. With a hand on the counter he leaned forward, his black eyes boring into hers. You could practically feel the danger rolling off of him. “does this look like the face of a man that wants to be jerked around?”

Clair straightened her white suit self consciously, sweat beginning to bead on her temple. “no Hancock….”

“that’s right, it ain’t. So, I’d suggest you play straight with us or the Hotel Rexford might need new management.” 

Not exactly the approach I’d have taken although maybe that was because Nick wouldn’t have taken it. if I’d tried that with a suspect Nick would have given me an ear full after we got the information we wanted. No point telling Hancock off now. so silently I just waited, arms loosely folded. 

Clair glanced nervously toward the bar, then at Fred, before she finally looked back at us. Discreetly she gestured for us to follow her around the back of the hotel, toward Marowski’s office. Once out of public eye she turned to face us. “I got no idea where he went.” 

I found that incredibly hard to believe. If she ran this place I doubted very much that anything went on here that she didn’t know about. She probably knew more of Marowski’s secrets than Stan Salvi did. “lets talk in the office.” 

The door was closed and she cast a guilty glance its way. Just for a second, not long enough for Hancock to catch. I saw it. so she didn’t want us going in. which is what drove me to stride forward and kick the doors open. She jumped while I strode right by her. Beside me Gracie growled in satisfaction, following me inside. It was a shabby place. For a drug king pin Marowski didn’t really flaunt it. peeling walls, dirty floors, a desk that looked more banged up than Nick’s. badly repaired furniture sat against the walls there was even a broken terminal on some filing cabinets. 

“not even I live like this.” Hancock muttered, hobbling in as smoothly as he could manage with the brace. I was surprised at how well he could walk with it. Fahrenheit had told me that his knee had been shattered then badly healed. That kind of injury should have been the end. Hancock wasn’t the kind of guy to roll over and take it though. 

You did that.

With a grimace I turned away from him back to the desk. “take a seat Clair, lets talk about the days leading up to Marowski’s disappearance.” Power plays, Nick had told me, was one of the most important parts of interrogating a suspect. If you thought they weren’t going to be cooperative you had to make sure they knew who was in charge. So casually I took a seat behind Marowski’s desk, while Gracie sat down beside me, just within reach. Her big head came just high enough to peer over the desk at the woman. Gracie knew when it was time to interrogate a suspect it was time to act serious. I’d have to get her a treat after for this.

Clair gave Gracie a fearful look. For a moment she stood in front of me, her face actually going a bit slack when she saw me sit. The shock factor did enough to put her off balance, I had to keep her that way.

“I said sit.” 

As she sat I caught sight of Hancock eyeing me over her shoulder. Ghoul faces being mostly dead to begin with, they never showed that much emotion. That face might as well have been totally dead. Still wasn’t entirely convinced that this wasn’t some kind of test. Clair sat facing me, her arms folded in a feeble attempt to take back some amount of control. 

“right then.” With my fingers laced together I leaned over the desk, eyeing her carefully. “Marowski and Slavin are both missing, and near as I can tell you’re one of our top suspects.”

“what?!”

Hancock snapped to attention, like he’d been stung in the ass or something. come on he couldn’t have taken this seriously could he? I could barely keep my own face straight. 

Clair leaned over with her hands on the desk, looking frantic as ever. “I had nothin to do with their disappearance! I swear! The hell kind of interrogation is this?! I thought you were a detective, don’t you want the truth?!”

For a moment I waited, studying her with a smile hidden behind my hands. It was always the people with reputations, lives that were the easiest to manipulate. I wasn’t sure that this woman had done anything that warranted being jerked around. Not that I’d let that stop me. “close the door Hancock.” 

Judging by that smirk he was finally catching up to my play. Slowly he turned and closed the door with a distinctive, purposeful click. Just the right thing to set the tone for the rest of this interrogation. 

Clair watched him over her shoulder then looked back to me. The sweat beaded on her temple. Her eyes kept darting at Gracie. Even if I wasn’t already convinced she knew more than she was saying, that would have been enough to tip me off. 

“I’m sorry Clair, but there just aren’t any other suspects. Do you honestly think Fred could kidnap two men without making a fuss of it?” 

“I swear! No one in this hotel has anything to do with them going missing.” With her palms up she leaned over the desk. I almost felt bad for her. Maybe she thought I’d feed her to my hound if she pissed me off. “you’ve got to believe me. I know everything that goes on in this hotel. Not one person did this.”

“then who did?” I slammed a tight fist on the desk which gave off a resounding metal thud. She flinched away, eyes widening. “as far as I can tell there isn’t anyone else. Tell me everything you know or Hancock is going to lock you and your entire staff up!” 

Hancock stood quietly by watching Clair panic. At least he hadn’t stopped me yet. The tightness in his face showed he might have wanted to. His shoulders were still tense, still watchful. I doubted they were tense because of Clair. 

“look,” Clair’s voice brought my attention back to her. “Marowski’s been tryin to expand his contacts again. Making talk about taking back the good old days. He’s sick of running a hotel and playing things safe.”

“heh, heh, tired of a half way honest life?” Hancock chuckled. “I can relate to that.”

“he didn’t tell you cause he thought you’d interpret it as a threat to your authority.”

“well he’s right about that.” Loosely Hancock folded his arms, leaning up against the wall.

“who was he in talks with?” it sounded promising. Two ways this could have gone, either he pissed off one of these people he was talking to. Or someone loyal to Hancock found out about his scheme and did what the ghoul probably would have done himself. In any case, the likelihood was that Marowski was dead in a ditch somewhere. 

“I’m not sure.” Clair admitted reluctantly. “I saw one or two Gunners come through. Then there was that thug from Diamond City. Then there was this ghoul….”

“what ghoul?” Hancock asked sharply.

“I don’t know.” She twisted in her seat to look at him, giving me the chance to peer around the room. if Marowski was doing secret business, where would he hide the records? “he looked on the verge of turning feral though let me tell you. about scared the hell out of my customers when he came through. No hair, all rough skin and everything. it was the eyes though. they glowed like feral’s do.”

“I’ve never heard of a ghoul like that.” I muttered.

“I swear it’s true.” If she had been any more desperate I’m sure she’d be on her hands and knees pleading with me. “Marowski left after a meeting with the ghoul. Slavin went with him. they said they’d be back the same day. I don’t know where they went. Or who they were going to go see.”

“so you knew exactly what was going on and you still played dumb.” 

“part of my job is protecting the integrity of the people in my hotel, which includes Marowski.” A little steel seeped into her voice. Impressive really. Especially when I had a mutant hound at my side.

“it didn’t concern you at all when your boss went missing?” it was almost laughable. Shouldn’t she have spread the word, at least asked around? Instead she’d just hidden away and pretended nothing was wrong. What a pain. 

“of course it concerned me, but what was I supposed to do?!” exasperatedly she threw out her hands. “word was bound to get back to Hancock sooner or later. As soon as it did I knew the truth would get out, I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of that.”

“well like it or not you’re caught in the middle.” As much as it amused me this conversation hadn’t given us a good angle to follow. “did you happen to catch where the ghoul was leading them? Who they were going to go see, anything that might explain where they are?” 

“I overheard something about the water front but nothing solid.” Miserably she shook her head. Then suddenly she turned on Hancock, hands out pleading. “I know you two never saw eye to eye, but this town needs him. the hotel needs him.”

“what exactly do you expect me to do?” he didn’t sound angry or even annoyed. One of his brows shot up giving her a look somewhere between entertained and bored. 

“well… you’re gonna kill him now aren’t you?” 

That’s what I thought. 

But Hancock scoffed. “I got no intention of killing Marowski, at least not yet. We’ll see how things look when we find that scumbag.” 

It was the closest she was going to get to comfort and she knew it. with a long breath she waved toward the filing cabinet. “he’s been keeping careful record of his business since he started expanding again. My girl almost got shot for cleaning his office a few days ago, so I have a feeling that his files are in here, somewhere.” 

“that’s all you’ve got?” I had to act disappointed and irritated even if this was more than I expected to get. Nick and I had done plenty of cases with a lot less to start with. If we found those files we could blow Marowski’s entire network wide open. 

Clair knew she’d given us more than enough. Her fear was gone replaced by annoyance as she looked back at me. “yeah, that’s it. Now are you going to shoot me or can I get back to work?”

Good question. my eyes strayed back to Hancock for orders. He might have hired me for this investigation, didn’t mean I had the right to order people around in his town. That look said he didn’t care either way. In fact he was already perusing the office, hoping he might find something. “we’re done, I don’t have to tell you to stay in Goodneighbor until we find Marowski do I?” 

She scowled and nodded. “where the hell would I go anyway?” 

“glad we’re clear.” Casually I leaned back in the chair, forcing a mild expression on my face that probably would only piss her off. After a few seconds of confused silence she surged to her feet. acting more like an upset teenager, she stormed out of the office.

“you make friends about as well as I do.” Hancock chuckled from a corner. 

With a groan I got up, stretching out my stiff shoulders. Beside me Gracie gave a little confused whine. I scratched her behind the ear to calm her down. “yeah well… when your job is digging around in people’s dirty laundry, enemies are an occupational hazard.” 

He wheezed out a chuckle. “you’re sounding more like Valentine every day.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Standing behind the desk I scanned around the office more carefully this time. Where would he hide his records? If he was worried about someone finding out about his little scheme he wouldn’t just leave the papers out for anyone to find. He wasn’t dumb either. He’d have put them somewhere clever. “Hancock where wouldn’t you look to find Marowski’s secret files?” 

“hm.” He mused, a finger to his chin. “can’t say there are many places I wouldn’t look if I thought he was aimin to back stab me.” 

Don’t give yourself so much credit. With a heavy sigh I dropped my gaze down to Gracie who looked up at me expectantly. Now that the interrogation was over she’d gone back to her happy self. Her big tongue lolled out the side of her mouth. Spit dripped to the floor. At least I didn’t have to clean that up. “what would Nick do Gracie? Where would he look?” 

Her big head tilted curiously at me. Gently she licked at my hand, effectively drenching it. 

“yeah thanks that helps a lot.” 

“what about a wall safe? Behind one of these shelves or soemthin?” it was kind of cute watching Hancock try to do what Nick did naturally. It did give me an idea.

“yeah, you look for that.” If Hancock went right of the hidden safe Marowski probably knew that. It was probably the most cliched thing I’d ever heard. If it turned out to be right, I’d never let the chem dealer live it down. While Hancock peeked around furniture and paintings I wondered toward the filing cabinets. In plane sight didn’t seem like Marowski’s style. Irony though? 

One by one I looked inside the drawers, finding empty chem bottles and syringes. One or two folders with nothing in them and a notebook that looked like it had survived a fire. Casually I flipped through the notebook. 

“find anything?” Hancock called.

“no.” the book was an old ledger by the look of it, for Marowski’s old chem deals. The earliest date was at least fifteen years ago. Beside the old running black ink there was new red too. circling names and locations. The numbers beside the names were big which probably meant they weren’t consumers. “hey Hancock, look through this and see if a name jumps out at you.” 

He took it from me, somewhat irritated that I’d interrupted his brilliant idea of a wall safe. While he scanned the names I kept looking. “recognize plenty, most of em got themselves dead years ago. If memory serves Flynn and Valentine did Skinny Malone in.” 

“anyone still kicking?” 

“couple names yeah. No one worth mentioning.” 

“every little bit helps, don’t dismiss someone outright.” Something lay inside the broken terminal. I had to get up on my tiptoes to grab it. when I came back down I had a stack of crumpled papers. I laid them out on the desk to get a better look. All hand written notes, some in Marowski’s handwriting, could tell from his ledger. There were at least three other handwritings, maybe four, it was hard to tell. Still wasn’t good at matching handwriting. Nick would be able to tell right off the bat. 

“looks like he might have been calling in debts from old friends.” Hancock sat with a groan behind the desk, rubbing gently at his left thigh. “Man was pullin in a lot of caps. Gearing up for something.” 

“he lost control of his old chem lab a while back, he might have been trying to get the money to take it back.” which meant guns and men, a lot of them. Which meant caps. “how the hell did he figure he’d have enough clout to pull in debts?”

“who knows.” Unceremoniously he tossed the book onto the desk, making the letters fly everywhere. Effectively ruining my system. “what have you got?” 

Suppressing an annoyed sigh I fixed the papers. “it looks like he was putting out feelers for who might be running the Triggermen.”

“makes sense, Malone owed him bigger than anybody else.” 

“funny thing is, I don’t see Darla being the type to make good on Malone’s debts unless she’s got herself an angle.” And odds were she’d have an angle if she agreed to a meet up. An angle that wasn’t gonna be too agreeable to Marowski. 

“did he manage to arrange a meet and greet?” Hancock leaned forward to pick up one of my stacks. 

“with someone. See, these are all letters from the same person, talking about protection assurance for a meet. The last one just says Stag Park.” My eyes narrowed of their own accord at the paper, like it had just offended me. “dare I ask what Stag Park even means?”

Hancock laughed. The gravely sound was so abrupt it made me jump out of my skin and Gracie growl. “it ain’t what ya think kiddo. Stag park is the nickname dealers gave that park out near the north church. It’s usually got tons of Radstag around it, hence Stag Park.” 

I didn’t know whether to be surprised that it had a name, or disappointed it had such a lame one. it wasn’t so far from Goodneighbor, if I was even thinking of the right spot. With any luck there might be a trace of Marowski there that Gracie could track down. there hadn’t been any rain storms since he went missing. There was a storm brewing, at least that’s what people were saying. 

“we should get moving.”

“couldn’t agree more.” 

As we got up to leave I noticed Hancock pocket the ledger. I chose to say nothing. if he wanted it, that was his business. We left the rest of the letters lying on the desk for anyone to see. No courtesy to a man who was probably making plans to take over Goodneighbor. Clair gave us contemptuous looks, especially my dog who huffed in response. 

Nice cool day outside. There were heavy clouds in the sky, promising some rain if not a rad storm. That would be just my luck to get caught out in a radiation storm. I’d stopped keeping track of how many times I’d coughed up blood. If I didn’t start going ghoul at some point soon I’d be surprised. Could synths turn ghoul? “lead the way Hancock, you know where we’re going better than I do.” 

“stay close kiddo.” He smirked at me condescendingly. “don’t want to lose you in the ruins.”

“just don’t try to ditch me.” maybe things had gone back to too normal. his jabbing was about to make me angry. 

He led the way back toward the gates. His steps were uneven, the brace clanked against the concrete. Even suggesting that he should stay behind would earn me a cuff. I’m sure he’d been getting that plenty from everyone else, including Fahrenheit. His fists were tight, swinging at his sides. Maybe that’s what this was about. Maybe he figured the only person that’d let him do what he wanted would be me. 

Sighing I made to follow only to stop when a familiar trench coat caught my eye. Nick. What the hell was he doing here?! He’d better not have followed me after I told him to let me handle this! it was worse than that actually. He was walking toward the Memory Den, with Magnolia at his side. 

My heart skipped a beat then swelled in my throat. it, more than anything, kept me from calling out to him. why was he here, with her? Why was he going to the Memory Den? What could they possibly want in there? 

Nick wouldn’t cheat on me. I had to keep telling myself that. He wasn’t that kind of man. If he was unhappy he’d just tell me. would he though? After what happened in Acadia, and all those times since, did he think he could be honest? Did I make him feel obligated now? was that why he had to go behind my back with Magnolia? 

And why couldn’t I just confront him? what the hell was wrong with me? wouldn’t it be better if we just had it out now and get it over with?! I hated feeling like this! 

“yo kiddo!” 

“coming!” blinking back the sting in my eye I turned and raced after Hancock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cracked myself when i came up with the name of this chapter haha. 
> 
> Nothing much to say here but i do have a question. How many of you are interested in the prequel? you got a small glimpse and yes i have been working on it (it's slow going since i'm in school) so it's happening i just am curious if anyone would be interested in reading it at all. considering the subject matter it'll be less fan fiction like than even Blood Alloy proper is so let me know k?
> 
> In the mean time, thanks for reading! and Write on!


	6. See You Around

“Yo! Kiddo!”

“coming!”

I span around when I heard Gray’s voice. She was running around the side of the building where Hancock waited for her. “Gray! Hey!” 

She ignored me, or didn’t hear me. John did. his eyes darted my way before he hobbled out of sight around the state house. What the hell was that about? What were those two up to?

“see?” Mags touched my arm to draw my attention. “she’s fine, he wouldn’t hurt her.” 

“got any idea what they’re doing?” 

“I’ve been a bit too preoccupied with Irma lately to listen to the rumor mill.” She shrugged apologetically. “sorry hon.”

With a heavy sigh I turned back to the door in front of me. Gray was off with John, doing whatever secret thing they were up to. I had my own battles to fight. Entering this place was a battle all its own lately. There were too many bad memories. Long days trying to dig up my memories of the institute. Then Kellogg taking over my head. Then resetting Gray. And Irma’s betrayal. I hated coming here now.

Mags stepped through first, forcing me to follow her off the streets of Goodneighbor. It was quiet as ever inside, except for the whir of the memory loungers. The musty smell always seemed to follow me around days after a visit. Inside Irma sat on her recliner, as relaxed as a viper in her nest. I’d started referring to her as a snake, the same way Gray did. 

When she saw us she managed to keep herself from reacting right away. There was someone lying in a memory lounger near the platform. He wouldn’t hear us if he was deep in his mind. Amari, standing at a terminal behind Irma, was a different story. Irma managed her usual smile. Had to give it to her, she was good at acts. “Mr. Valentine, what a pleasure, it has been so long since I’ve seen you.” 

“Irma….” 

Amari straightened from her terminal, smiling brightly at us. “ah, Miss Magnolia, shall it be the usual this time?” 

“uh, no thanks Amari.” A blush overtook Mags’ face. wondered what exactly she’d be seeing to relive here at the memory den. I made a mental note to ask her later. 

“then Mr. Valentine, is there something we can do for you?” Amari turned her gaze on me.

“we’re here to talk to Irma actually.” With hard eyes I looked to the blond woman. “privately.” 

Gracefully she stood, like it was the most reasonable request in the world. “very well, shall we go upstairs? Amari I trust you with the floor.” 

Amari too obviously wanted answers. Her mouth hung half open to argue only Irma didn’t give her the chance. she glided right by her, shoulders rolled back and relaxed. The woman knew how to end a conversation had to give her that. Mags offered Amari a sympathetic look while I didn’t have the mind to. We left the front lobby behind headed up the stairs. 

You’d think that the décor and atmosphere of the lobby would have bled up into the bedrooms. Especially considering the kind of woman that lived up here. You’d be wrong of course. The place looked as shabby as any hovel around the commonwealth. With bare mattresses, broken furniture and splintered floorboards. The moment she was out of sight Irma’s entire demeanor changed. Her shoulders slumped, her face instantly fell, and maybe it was my imagination but I could have sworn her hair deflate a little. 

She strode up to a dresser in a corner, producing a pack of cigarettes. “do you mind?” 

“no.” I shook my head a fraction of an inch.

Not that it mattered. She was already lighting one as she asked the question. with it held loosely between two fingers she took a slow drag. Savoring it before she let it out again. “I need it to deal with you people.”

“ya brought this on yourself doll.” With a groan I sat on one of the few chairs in the room. it creaked warningly under my weight. “when you decided to betray Gray the way ya did.” 

When this all started Irma had been apologetic whenever I brought that up. That had all changed over the course of those months. She scoffed, lazily waving that damn cigarette around. “if you ask me, maybe you two have it coming.”

“watch it or we might decide just to hand over the letters to Hancock.” Mags growled in such a low smooth tone it made me shiver. Times like those I was reminded just how dangerous that woman could be.

Irma though just rolled her eyes. “I’m starting to wonder if you even have the letters.” 

“care to test that theory?” I almost wanted her to. If we weren’t about to finish this and I hadn’t put in so much effort already, I’d have welcomed it. unloading this problem off to someone else was just so appealing. 

After a contemplative drag of her cigarette she shook her head. “no, I think I’ll stick around.”

“wise choice.” Never seen Mags’ face look quite that disgusted, with anyone. And I’d seen the way she handled drunk scumbags hitting on her. 

Irma flicked the ash off the end of her cigarette. She barely even looked at us. “so what’s this about? I gave Magnolia the report, why are you here detective?”

“your intel is running dry.” I answered flatly. 

Exasperatedly she tossed up her arms. “aren’t you happy with what I’ve given you?! I’ve risked my life trying to get you that information. Hintzen’s network spreads the entire length of the commonwealth. There’s not a single pie that his finger isn’t in!”

“so have you been holding out on us?” I cocked a brow at her.

Her face went so indignant it bordered on being a scowl. “what could I possibly gain from holding out on you? I know who has the power here. It isn’t me.”

“good to see that you’re still a reasonable woman in all this.” no point pointing out that she could easily sell us out to Hintzen, or any number of people that wanted us dead. Mostly me at this point. If she figured that much out I doubted I’d lasted this long. “now talk to me why haven’t you provided any new information?” 

This time she scowled genuinely. Not even her cigarette could take the disgusting taste of defeat out of her mouth. “I’ve been trying. Every group I’ve found is a dead end. No one knows or is in contact with one another. Murtagh is the only connection between them. You should be so lucky that you have what you have.” 

“lets go over what we do have.” the urge to light a cigarette almost drew my hand to my pocket. Not a chance, not with that woman smoking too. “Hintzen hired No-Nose to do some damage to Goodneighbor seeing as it’s the only settlement he doesn’t have under his thumb. Then there’s the Gunners, or what’s left of them. So long as he has man power he has power.”

“he’s got McDonough in his pocket to control Diamond City.” Magnolia added.

“not to mention the smattering of raider gangs he’s got on his payroll.” Crossing my arms I leaned up against the dresser. I plastered on the best intimidating glare that I could manage. “all combined, he’s everywhere. So why are you having trouble finding Murtagh?” 

“he’s a ghost.” she flicked off more of the ash which landed at my feet. good aim. “If I didn’t know better I’d say the man doesn’t exist. The only time he makes contact with any of their allies is when he needs to make a big delivery, otherwise there’s no trace of him.” 

“not possible. there have to be letters, notes even. There were with Rush.” I countered dully.

“Rush wasn’t a regular contact. Maybe the usual methods didn’t work.” Irma heaved a massive sarcastic shrug which made me want to roll my eyes. “I don’t know how he’s getting orders out to the network. But it isn’t through hard copy mail. They’re using some other method.”

That wasn’t good. Knowing that I had to give more credit to Irma for getting as much as she did. I’d always assumed that Hintzen communicated like any other person in the commonwealth. Notes and Holotapes were the norm. They were usually the best source of evidence I could find. And when people didn’t dispose of them the right way they were damning. It figured that Hintzen or Murtagh wouldn’t be stupid enough to use that method. Then how the hell were they doing it?

“what about the shipments? You mentioned that Murtagh will make deliveries of equipment, how does that work?” 

“for small packages there are dead drops. I’ve actually collected for myself before. the larger items, sensitive items or valuable items, Murtagh will escort it personally along with a few raiders.” 

“you’ve seen him then?”

“briefly.” She nodded, all be it reluctantly. “and only once. I don’t know where he went or where he came from.”

“so the only way to lure him out will be asking for something substantial….” My chin dropped to my chest while I chewed on that prospect.

“or we offer them something substantial.” Magnolia added. 

Slowly I met her gaze. “you have an idea?”

“Irma you’ve kept yourself on the periphery right?” 

“I wasn’t about to put my name out there if things with you and Hintzen went bad.” She scowled contemptuously.

“so it’s no wonder that you haven’t had contact with Murtagh then. Murtagh is only going to come out of the woodwork for two reasons. Either Hintzen told him to, or someone wants to make an alliance.”

My frown deepened at her. “I’m not sure I follow your logic Mags.”

With a sigh she held out a hand to me. “Murtagh had direct contact with Rush, we know that now. He’s personally shown up at the agency looking to recruit Gray. I bet he goes to anyone that’s looking to make a deal to scope them out. If Irma put out feelers, claiming to want to work with Hintzen, then Murtagh will come out to see what she has to offer.”

“what?!”

“what could she possibly offer in the first place?” I ignored Irma’s outraged voice. She didn’t get a say in this. she’d lost that right the moment she’d sided with Rush. “Murtagh is careful, so is Hintzen. If she doesn’t have an exact reason for joining them they’ll ignore her, or kill her. They’ll get suspicious as soon as she opens up communication with them.” 

“unless she has something substantial to offer.” 

“I agreed to look into Hint-”

“it won’t be caps or guns, or even man power. Besides the fact that Hintzen has plenty of that Irma doesn’t have enough to make a dent.” I shook my head then stopped as my eyes fell on the terminal in the next room. “but maybe she’s got something even better…. Something Hintzen can’t buy that easily.”

Out of the corner of my eye I watched Irma’s face go pale while she followed my gaze. No doubt she put two and two together as fast as I did. “no.”

“you don’t have a choice.” At last some progress. I shoved away from the drawers while they creaked under my weight. The floor boards sagged when I put my full weight on them. “you’re going to offer up the minds and secrets of your clients to Murtagh and Hintzen to draw them out.” 

“no!” with astonishing backbone she surged to her feet, glaring me right in the eye. her fists were clenched at her sides, almost shaking. The show of emotion seemed like a lapse in judgment. “I am not offering Hintzen my clients. That’s betraying the trust they’ve put in me.”

“you wouldn’t actually be hand-”

I threw up a hand to stop Mags midsentence. She gave me a confused frown, backing down slowly. The rage in my chest started to boil. Like the reactor that powered my body was finally about to go critical. “betraying trust?” I murmured quietly, glaring her with all the hatred I’d ever felt. “you want to talk about betraying trust? Lets talk about what you did to Gray. Are you telling me you weren’t betraying anyone then?”

Irma wilted. Her fingers unclasped while they continued to shake, not with anger this time. With fear. Not many people had seen me get angry. Most people had never given me a reason to. Hintzen did. Murtagh did. Rush did. A handful of other sickos in the commonwealth did. Irma was a special exception to the rule. And she knew it. that look in her eye knew it. “I … I didn’t have a choice….” That strangled voice did nothing to temper my rage.

With deliberate steps, I walked toward her. Clouds of dust rose up around my feet. she backed up a step. The look of a cornered Radstag in her eye. “you had no choice because she had dirt on you is that it? Because Rush did? That made it alright is that what you’re saying? Breaking her mind and turning her into that monster, that’s all forgivable because she could have put you in the ground?”

The sweat dripped down her face, smearing the heavy layer of foundation she wore. Her fearful steps brought her right up against the wall. Back pressed to it she couldn’t run as I leaned in close to her face. 

At this distance I could count the every wrinkle she tried to hide under that makeup. All the sins she’d ever committed. She reminded me a little of the old Nick’s grandma. She’d lived a colorful life. Done things the old Nick had never forgiven. The kind of woman he’d have arrested if she’d given him a single chance. what would I do with Irma if I was back before the bombs? Prison and execution was too good for her. 

“if you betrayed Gray because someone had dirt on you, then it should be no trouble for you to betray your _clients_.” My murmur came out so quietly I wasn’t even sure Mags could hear me. “because someone’s got dirt on you again Irma. You made a deal with the devil. If you want to redeem yourself, this is the only chance you’re going to get.” 

She swallowed dryly, the sweat pouring fast now. that was one thing I didn’t envy flesh and blood types. The sweating, the dry throat, the hammering heartbeat that confused the mind and made the limbs shaky. There were certainly a lot of advantages to being made of metal and plastic. Eventually, after several failed attempts she found her voice. “u-understood.”

“glad we’re clear.” Contemptuously I put distance between us. Being that close to her made me feel disgusting. Like I wanted a long shower to get her overpowering smell of perfume out of my coat. God knew I’d be smelling her for days now. 

Out of the corner of my eye Mags was giving me a dark look. I’m sure she’d like to have a few words with me. I didn’t care to listen which she knew. She’d try to talk some sense into me later, when we were done here. 

Irma tried to straighten herself, regain some semblance of dignity. No matter how much work she put into it that makeup would need a new coat. “so what do you want me to do exactly?”

“make contact with Murtagh. If you try to go for Hintzen right away it’ll look suspicious, so contact his right hand.” speaking in a dry tone I returned to my spot beside the dresser. “you’ll offer him the minds and secrets of your clients. Considering Hancock is one of em, it should get his attention either way.”

“then?”

“then when he sets up a meeting with you, you’ll contact us. We’ll be there when it goes down. if Murtagh shows up then that’ll be our chance.”

“that’s your big plan?” Irma scoffed, without the confidence she used to have. “ambush Murtagh? You think he’s going to be stupid enough to come out into the open?”

“no.” I admitted. “but that isn’t your concern. We’ll handle what comes after, you just get the meeting. Can you manage that without breaking someone else’s mind?”

Her scowl became more pronounce. It was probably ill advised to push her like this. the alliance wasn’t exactly written in stone after all. I banked on her sense of self preservation to keep her in line. It remained to be seen how far that would take her. “fine, is that everything? or do you want to start shouting abuses?”

“believe me, I’ve got plenty. For another time.” Satisfied I strode for the door. 

Irma’s obedient silence followed me down to the lobby. Amari still stood beside the terminal, sipping out of a teacup contemplatively. For a moment I stopped, watching her. If there had been one person Gray could rely on outside of Hancock and me it was Amari. The woman had after all been there from the beginning, even when I wasn’t. I was more grateful for that than words could describe. 

“doc.” 

She gave a small start, the tea spilling out the edge of her cup as she turned. Her brows shot up quizzically. No doubt with more questions than I cared to answer right then. “Mr. Valentine. Have you finished with Irma?”

“he has.” Irma walked around me, shooting me a visible glare while she retook her seat. Her red dress seemed to have dimmed quite a bit compared to the velvet of her seat. 

Amari watched her curiously before raising brows at me. “is something wrong Mr. Valentine?”

“can I talk to you alone doc? It’s… it’s about a friend.” She got the gist in my tone pretty quick. Nodding in understanding she led me passed Mags, wo gave me a look, then down into the basement. 

The familiar lab was way more comforting than the upstairs lobby these days. Sure it had been the place where most of the worst shit had gone down. upstairs just was the lair of that tarantula. The cracks in the concrete, the dust drifting passed the lights, the singular memory lounger hooked up to a bank of computers. It smelled like electricity, melted plastic and heat. 

Amari shrugged off her lab coat. Funny, I could count on one hand how many times I’d seen her without it. she wore a simple blouse underneath, surprisingly clean and well kept for the commonwealth. She caught me staring, glanced down at herself. “Ms. O'Malley fixed it for me, as thanks for the memory scans.” 

“she’s good at sewing isn’t she?” the ghost of a smile tugged on my lips. 

“I should hope so, I taught her how to.” Pride leaked into her voice that wasn’t like her.

Blinking I refocused on her. “you?”

“don’t sound so surprised, sewing is a hobby of mine.” 

“I didn’t know.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised, every time you visit me it’s for that case, or this crisis after all. Don’t you make social calls?”

“can’t say I’ve got the time.” Half smiling, I leaned up against the doorframe casually. “the life of a detective isn’t an easy one. it rarely lacks for excitement.” 

With a chuckle she shook her head. “Ms. O'Malley says the same thing. Where is she by the way? I hardly see you without her. It’s like you’re attached at the hip.”

“god I hope not, Gray would probably kill me.” I forced a laugh that didn’t sound right even to my ears. “we’ve got to have some alone time doc, it’s healthy for couples ain’t it?”

“that didn’t answer my question detective.” 

This time I smirked. “sharp as ever I see.”

With the air of a patient librarian, she took a seat. Carefully she smoothed out her skirt. “alright detective, please, speak your mind. Is Ms. O'Malley ok?”

That was laughable. She hadn’t been ok since that day three years ago. even less so since Rush. No one was ok in the wasteland. Anyone that said otherwise was either lying or insane. My money usually fell on insane. It was a safe bet. Damn Nick, since when had you become so cynical? With a long drawn breath, I took my hat off. Twirled it between my fingers absent mindedly. “those long term affects you warned me about? I think they’re rearing their ugly head.” 

Apprehension filled her face. “what happened?”

So I told her, the truth, the whole of it. about Gray losing control that morning, and about the other times I’d seen her lose it. in a weird way it was freeing to finally tell someone that could do something about it. Mags couldn’t, all she could do was tell me to go talk to someone else. If anyone could help Gray it was Amari.

At the end of the story her face had fallen, chin in hand, contemplating the concrete floor. “that does sound like a symptom of the reset we preformed. Have you noticed anything else? Any other signs of her possibly relapsing? Even the tiniest thing could give me a clue on what we may be dealing with.”

“no nothing.” I shook my head but stopped. 

Amari’s head tilted. “yes?”

With a clenched jaw I looked around the room at anything else. “I catch her… sometimes muttering to herself. It could be nothing….”

“could be something.” she finished for me with a sad nod. “one thing I was concerned about was her developing a split personality.” 

“her and… that woman that Rush created?”

“precisely.” 

“why doesn’t that happen with your synths?” a little accusation leaked into my voice not that I meant it. I wasn’t trying to imply that Amari hadn’t taken care of Gray, that she did more for the Railroad. I knew she’d done everything she could.

At least she seemed to understand that as her posture didn’t change. “the personalities that I imprint synth minds with are fairly close in nature to their current one. their memories are carefully tailored to incorporate as much of their past experiences as possible. I’m afraid Ms. O'Malley and the O'Malley that Rush created are simply too different in personality.”

“and bleeding, what about bleeding. Ya said that as a synth there wasn’t likely to be any bleeding effects after the reset.”

She held up a hand to stop me, which was good cause I had plenty more questions to add on top of that. “I said that a traditional memory imprint would do that, but what happened to Ms. O'Malley was unique beyond my expertise. There was no way I could guarantee that something like this wouldn’t happen.” 

If my body was capable of it, I knew I’d be developing a headache. Instead my forehead just scrunched up like I was having one. irritably I turned my back on her, rubbing at my head like it might make it stop.

She sighed deeply. “is she aware of these episodes?”

“how do you mean?”

“I mean does she seem to address them, either out loud or in her head?”

Frowning I offered a noncommittal shrug. “I don’t think so, why?”

“then it may not be too late. So long as she isn’t aware of the personality we may be able to shore up the boundary between her and the other mind. The moment she becomes aware of it is the moment where the bleeding could accelerate.” 

“worst case scenario doc….” 

“Mr. Valentine it isn’t wise to deal in worst case scenarios.”

“doc….”

After a brief reluctant pause she answered. “the two personalities combine into one, preventing us ever from separating them. What that personality would be I don’t dare speculate. But I seriously doubt that the Ms. O'Malley as we know her would survive.” 

That’s what I thought. Finally I looked back at her. “so we’re running out of time. How long would it take you to come up with a way to shore up her mind?”

“she’ll be coming in for her monthly scan in the next week. I should have a way by then.” She announced with enough confidence it almost made me believe her. “this won’t be a one time thing however. Most likely this treatment will have to continue for the rest of her life. Maybe even become more frequent if she becomes more violent. Are you prepared for that?”

“what other choice do I got?” with a flourish, primarily to show off, I put my hat back on. With it came a wash of confidence I knew I didn’t actually have. “I’m not gonna abandon her now. Not while I’ve got a choice anyway.”

Had to give it to the doc, she picked up on the tone in that last part that I didn’t even notice. She stood to her full height, which was still almost a head shorter than me, her shoulders square. “Mr. Valentine, why do I get the impression that something more is going on here?” 

Couldn’t tell her. If I did then that was just one more loose end that Hintzen would be forced to tie up if things went south. Given all this about Gray though, I couldn’t just leave saying nothing. “look doc. You’ve been a good friend, to both me and Gray, for years now. there aren’t enough words I know to thank you for that.”

“Mr. Valentine-”

“let me finish.” Now that we were here I wanted to be heard. The reality of what I was about to do weighed heavy on my shoulders. “you were there for Gray when I wasn’t, you’re there for her in ways I could never be. All I’m asking is no matter what happens next, you keep your eye on her. She’s gonna need people, family and friends. She’s gonna need you to keep that head of hers together. Can I count on you to do that?”

“I can’t believe what I’m-”

“swear to me.”

Groaning she nodded. “yes, I swear, I’ll be there for her. Whether something happens or not I’m going to be there for her.”

“thank you.” my shoulders relaxed, my fists unclenched. Hadn’t even realized I was holding them. 

“so is that what this is about?” she questioned in such a sharp tone it made me pay attention. “you came here only to pretend that you’re about to die and to make sure I’d step up to fill your place?”

“a lot of bad things can happen in the commonwealth doc. I’m just making contingencies.” 

“it sounds like a lot more that.” With a furious look in her eye she stalked forward, her shoes clicked clearly on the concrete floor. Once she was in my face she jabbed me in the chest with a finger. “to say nothing of how absolutely selfish such a request is, let me make one thing perfectly clear to you Nicholas Valentine.”

“that’s not-”

“it won’t matter how many friends, or how much family she has. If you die, no one will fill your place for her. Do you understand that?” 

I wanted to argue with her but all the words got jumbled up in my throat. instead a series of indistinct sounds flitted out of my voice box. It almost sounded like a whine if I didn’t know any better. 

At least it made her soften a little. She took her finger back. “so if you’re thinking of doing something incredibly foolish and courageous, try thinking of her. How does that moral compass shape up against the love you have for her?”

It was my love for her that was driving me down this road. It was my love for her that made taking down Hintzen so urgent. It was my love for her that kept me going some days. It all rang so hollow in the wake of Amari’s words. 

No doubt she read that much in my face. satisfied she turned around, marching up to her terminal. “I’ll get to work right away. Gray’s mind won’t fracture if I have anything to say about it.”

Standing there limply I just stared at her for a few seconds. never would have thought that well mannered scientist had that much bite in her. Suppose you had to, if you lived in Goodneighbor. Eventually I straightened my tie, breathed in sharply. “not sure when I’ll be back here so….”

“no, you don’t get to do that.” She snapped, her sharp eyes falling on me like a pair of twin knives. “I’ve said goodbye to too many people. I won’t say it to you.”

She really wasn’t making this easy was she? “alright Amari, how about, see you around?”

“better.”

Wasn’t exactly the note of finality I’d been hoping for, though it’d have to do. I turned on a heel, marching back toward the stairs. Around the corner I almost ran into Mags. The briefest expression of guilt filled her face which she hid with a blank look. “listening in were you?” 

“no.” 

Liar.


	7. Good Ol' Times

“isn’t this fun?! Reminds me of the good ol’ times!”

“what good ol’ times might those be?!” I shouted back. “the ones where we got shot at by Supermutants?!”

“yeah, exactly!” the ghoul laughed, more like cackled when a chunk of the concrete wall we hid behind split off with a nice twang. 

Groaning I hit my forehead a few times with the barrel of my gun. “this wasn’t what I signed up for.”

“come out humans! Come out and play.” the irritatingly dumb voice of a Supermutant drifted over our cover. Followed closely by three sets of stupid laughter. 

“they’re gloating, they’re actually gloating.” My blood boiled. Supermutants of all fucking things had no right to gloat about cornering us. Just cause they could heft around those miniguns all they wanted didn’t mean they were any better than the rest of us! Just meant they had more brawn than brains. 

Hancock got up on a knee to fire at the mutants. He was smiling broadly, showing off his rows of rotted teeth. It was more excitement than I’d ever seen him have during a fight, and I’d seen him in a fight at the combat zone once. One of the mutants got his knee blown to pieces which forced the others to back off.

Beside me Gracie whined, her ears flat and her tail wagging. I gave her a disgruntled look. “no Gracie, if you go out there they’ll kill you before you get close.” She continued to whine, now licking pitifully at my hand like I might let her go.

On the other side Hancock dropped again, smiling proudly at the hound. “I like her, she’s got spunk.” 

“she’s a Supermutant hound what exactly did you think she was going to be like?” hooked my fingers into the bandana around her neck, tugging her closer to my side. She lay down on the ground, looking absolutely miserable. Like she was a child who wanted to go out to play. 

“didn’t think Valentine would take a hound.” He answered over the din of gunfire. “then again, he did take you in.”

“did you just call me a hound or did you just call me a bitch?!” angry, I surged to a knee, firing into the Supermutants. There didn’t seem to be an end to the damn things. They kept pouring out of Faneuil Hall. We’d lasted this long only thanks to the bottle neck that provided. A bullet tore a chunk out of the concrete by my head, forcing me to retreat. When I did it was to discover Hancock smirking at me. 

“I think I called you both.”

“you’re a riot, ya know that?”

“I am well aware.” 

“show your faces! Face death you cowards!” a mutant hollered dumbly. 

This time Hancock and I both got up to fire in on the growing crowd of mutants. It wasn’t any use. For every one we brought down a second took its place, literally stomping on their fallen brethren. Sometimes before the one on the ground was even dead. or stopped writhing. That had to make it hard to trek across all those bodies. Then the telltale beeping came bounding through the doors. 

The entire battle froze for a split second as all eyes went to the suicider that came racing at our position. “only one of us survives this and it won’t be you!” it shouted as it ran.

Hancock and I actually let our guns for all of five seconds, gaping at the mutant while it clambered toward us. “I don’t think you understand your job!” Hancock shouted.

Then I put my gun up and fired into the nuke the mutant carried. It exploded instantly, a tiny mushroom cloud going up into the sky. The blast wave took us off our feet, washing us with radiation. Thankfully that was the extent of the damage. We hit the dirt. Somewhere to my left Gracie yelped. Mutants screamed their last, barely audible under the explosion. For a moment I just lay there, staring toward the sky in a daze. The big heavy rain clouds looked so close from this vantage. Like if I just climbed to the top of one of those sky rises I could reach them. Wondered what a rain cloud felt like up there. 

Then the first few raindrops started to fall. The feel of them hitting my face made me flinch and once one got in my eye I sat up with an irritated groan. The mutants lay in a halo of gore and carnage around the spot the suicider went out. A nice little crater sat in the middle of it all. 

Kind of pretty actually.

“you alright girl?”

Stiffly I turned. Only to feel my jaw drop when I discovered Hancock patting down my dog fondly. “you… you went to take care of my dog _before_ you checked on me?”

Gracie glanced my way, head tilted in confusion while Hancock continued to scratch her behind the ears. He smirked right at me, like I’d just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “she’s my grand-dog ain’t she? She takes priority. Ain’t that how it works?”

“bastard.” Shakily I forced myself to stand, one hand on the railing. There were no longer any sounds of gunfire or explosions. Instead of the patter of bullets, the patter of raindrops filled the space. It was picking up fast. Not good. “If we’re banking on Gracie picking up Marowski’s scent at the park we gotta move now. this rain is gonna wash it all away.”

“no arguments here, lets go.” With a grunt he rose, dusting off his red coat before striding on. The brace didn’t hinder him quite as badly as it had before. maybe he was getting used to it. as I followed him down the steps, passed the pile of Supermutant bits, I frowned at his back. 

Something in him was changing. He’d acted differently back at Goodneighbor. At first I’d though it was cause of me. like he’d been on guard with me or something. the shotgun thing had certainly been about keeping his guard up. Out here though, it was like nothing had changed. “let me ask you something.”

“go ahead kiddo.” He didn’t look back. he led me around the side of the Faneuil hall. All around us were those disgusting meat bags the mutants made. 

“why didn’t you tell Fahrenheit to deal with Marowski’s disappearance? Isn’t this part of her job?” 

The rhythm of his footsteps missed a beat making him stumble. Almost smoothly he recovered, striding on. “she’s busy.”

“bullshit she’s busy.” With a roll of my eyes I jogged to catch up with him. the rain dripped out of the corners of his hat like a couple of fountains. It was comical if the thing wearing it hadn’t been so scarred and scary looking. “she’s about as busy as you let her be. You could have told her to drop it and take care of this. does she even know we’re out here?”

“you already asked me something, you can stick a sock in it now.” he tried to pick up the pace, unfortunately that brace kept him pretty slow. 

Easily I stayed with him. the park was within sight now. with its ruined gardens, arched paths and a single burning cauldron in the center of it all. So far nothing too dangerous. A couple Radstag bolted to their feet once they spotted us. Like a couple of cowards they raced into the rain out of sight. “Fahrenheit doesn’t know we’re out here does she? Why didn’t you tell her about this Hancock? As your right hand don’t you think she kinda needs to know this?”

He came to a dead stop, Gracie actually bumped into his legs. “she’d have told me to stay out of it.” 

His words were such a low growl I didn’t recognize them as words for a second. Frowning I stepped around to get a better look at his face. there was a far away expression there, underpinned by rage. One of his hands rubbed his bad leg. “she’s been keeping you out of the action since your leg hasn’t she?”

“pretty much.” Furious black eyes rounded on me. hard to tell if he was angry at me or not. “she’s been treatin me like some kinda fucking flower. Keeping me out of trouble, making me stay in the Statehouse, I’m fucking sick of it.” 

In a weird way that was hilarious. The thought that Hancock could be told what to do by anyone and he would listen couldn’t have been more ridiculous. If anyone could make him do what was best for him it was probably Fahrenheit. What was best for him? surely keeping him locked up like a prisoner wasn’t the right thing. 

“so that’s why I asked for you.” his angry voice brought me back out of my thoughts. He’d walked away from me, striding over to the pedestal with the fire pit. “knew you wouldn’t have the guts to tell me to stay home.”

I rolled my eyes. “if you honestly think that I think you should stay home, safe and cozy, you really don’t know me.” 

With a half step he turned to raise a brow at me. “yeah?”

“yeah.” With a rigid finger, I pointed at his busted up leg. “I don’t care how cripple you are old man, everyone’s gotta pull their weight. You’re the mayor of goddamn Goodneighbor, so buck it up and pull your thumb out.” 

For a few seconds we faced each other like that. He blinked several times, processing what the hell I’d just said. Sensitivity was never my strong suit. Nick would have told me that was harsh. Like hell if I cared. This was the man that had once told me to walk off a broken arm. if he expected me to treat him like a delicate statue he had a whole other thing coming. 

It wasn’t until Gracie howled, giving us both a start, did we break eye contact. She wagged her tail happily, having finally diverted attention on her. With a shake of my head and a groan, I rubbed her head. “cheeky little bitch….”

“thanks kiddo.” 

“don’t call my dog kiddo, that’s not her name, that’s my nickname.” 

“I wasn’t thanking the hound.” 

I glanced at him while he stared right back at me. his black eyes were heavy, his hand no longer rubbed at his leg. In spite of the rain and the growing gloom, he seemed to be standing a bit taller. Clearing my throat I straightened. “shouldn’t we get a move on? We’re losing the trail.”

As if he remembered where we were, he turned on the spot. “so what are we looking for?”

“look for signs of a struggle. Maybe some clothes, a gun, anything that might be a trace of Marowski.” It wasn’t exactly ideal. A lot could happen in three days. If there was any trace it could have been carried off by anything from raiders to Molerats. We’d be lucky if we found anything to follow. 

So we spread out across the park while the rain started to pick up. It soaked right through my coat reminding me that I desperately needed to get a better one. it worked fine for every day life. As soon as anything happened ever the lack of sleeves was a problem. I’d had the coat forever, didn’t know if I could part with it. 

“Gracie! Kiddo over here!” Hancock’s voice called over the rain.

I ran up to meet him. he stood in a circle of bricks with a fountain at the center. Park benches sat around it. a surprisingly pleasant little spot for the wasteland. Well it would be, if not for the blood that splashed the side of the fountain. “looks like someone lost a lot of head blood….” 

“there are some bullet casings too.” Hancock answered, showing me one. “45, submachine guns judging by the spread.”

“there’s only one gang I know of that uses out of date hardware like that….” 

“Triggermen.”

“we’ll know soon enough, Gracie! Come get a sniff!” 

The big green hound lumbered over excitedly. Finally something she could do. She followed my finger down to the blood stain. Even if we couldn’t see the blood trail, she could smell it. so long as the rain hadn’t completely washed it away. For a minute she got a good smell of it, circling the fountain once to pick up the trail. Once she had she took off trotting. I remembered the days we’d have to borrow Dogmeat from Violet to do anything like this. those were days of the past. Violet refused to admit it, but we all knew Gracie had the stronger nose anyway. she could track a man from Diamond city through the glowing sea. 

Granted she was easily distracted and keeping her on track was a pain in the ass. 

This time didn’t prove to be so much of a problem. She bounded into the ruins, setting a quick pace that Hancock struggled to keep up with. Passed some ruined buildings and through streets that were flooded. Had to clamber around the edge of those pools when we got to them. For a moment Gracie circled around in the water, half playing, half searching. Once she caught the scent again she bounded off.

We took a left turn than an immediate right. I heard the turrets powering up before I even saw them. Gracie was too far ahead. I couldn’t pull her back. the turrets would shoot her down before she even knew what was happening. Desperately I went to a knee, firing at the turrets that hung from the awning. One of them exploded, drawing the other’s attention. I didn’t have time to dodge. It fired up, the bullets were already in the air. 

Then a hand grabbed me around the back of the jacket, hauling me back behind cover. A bullet streaked across my leg, drawing blood and a hiss. Curled up on the ground, I clutched at it. through watering eyes I watched Hancock get up to his full height, firing at the turret. It exploded a few seconds later with a satisfying pop. 

“thanks.” The adrenaline in my system made my voice breathy.

Putting away his gun Hancock looked down at me with a cocky grin. “it’s just a graze, stop complaining.”

“I wasn’t complaining.” Although now that he mentioned it, the thing did hurt. 

Gracie came bounding back around the corner, whining so badly for a minute I thought she’d been hit. Turns out no. she went right for the hand I was covering my graze with, licking at it. “what a good dog.” Hancock beamed.

“do you think that’s helping?” I shoved her muzzled away with my free hand. too late my leg was already drenched with a combination of blood and spit. “maybe you should look around corners before you go bounding into traps from now on.”

Her ears flattened and her tail sank between her legs. The most miserable look filled that mutated face of hers. 

“you’ve hurt her feelings.” Hancock reached down to rub the top of her head. Sympathetic. 

“she’s just manipulating you, I used to do it all the time.”

“wait what?”

With a pained grunt, I forced myself to stand. No point dealing with the leg now. it was cold and wet and blood soaked already. With the rain only getting harder we had to keep moving or risk losing the trail. The trail though ended right at the doors beneath the turrets. A yellow sign next to the doors read “35 court” whatever that meant. It looked like every other ruined building in the area. Gracie ran passed us, pawing at the door where a large blood stain dripped down the button. 

“well, guess we found the place….” I murmured.

“guns up.” Hancock answered in equal tone.

With our guns drawn we took up positions on either side of the door. after a few failed attempts to get her under control, I dragged Gracie out from in front of the door. we forced the doors open a fraction, just enough so the voices from inside drifted out into the air.

“did ya hear the way he screamed when we smashed his knees?” a gravely ghoul voice chuckled thinly.

Another one, a bit deeper than the first answered. “little bitch squealed like an animal.” 

“too bad he didn’t last long. I wanted to have some more fun.” 

“where’d they take the other one?”

“no idea! You know Darla though! she’ll be having more fun with him than we did with this guy. What was his name anyway?”

“fuck if I know. He was Marowski’s body guard. All I needed to know.”

“guess you’re right.”

Hancock leaned across the door, whispered, “heard enough?”

I had. That confirmed it. Triggermen. Of course it was the fucking Triggermen. Those damn rats just kept popping up everywhere they didn’t belong. My wrist ached so bad listening to them. They deserved to die. They all deserved to die for what they’d done. The headache behind my eye started to flare up. It beat in time with my own heart.

Gun up I gave a curt nod. Together we stormed inside. Two ghouls dressed in the slacks and waist coats of the mob stood around a crumpled bloody figure in the center of the room. Without even looking at us they scattered, going for cover. I took the one on the left, following him with my gun. He didn’t get far before I sunk a slug into his leg. Payback for the damn turret outside. He went down screaming. Without a single thought to what I was doing I shot him between the eyes.

Hancock’s gun took chunks out of the desk off to the right. Gracie tore away from us, careening around the side of the desk. We didn’t see what happened next but judging by the sounds it wasn’t good. The Triggerman screamed agonizingly before it was suddenly cut off. Hancock relaxed, staring wide eyed at the desk. “glad she’s on our side….”

“fucking bastards!” 

The voice brought our attention up to a balcony in the corner. One last Triggerman stood there, pointing a machine gun down at us. Without thinking I grabbed Hancock, forcing him to the ground just as the gun went off. The door dinged as bullets dented it. Hancock got out from under me and fired at the legs of the Triggerman. Blood and bone sprayed everywhere. He howled in agony, collapsing over the railing down behind the desk. Gracie gave a bark then there were a few more screams before it went silent. 

In the deafening silence that followed Hancock laughed. 

I gaped at him. “sorry, have you lost your mind?”

“this is the most action I’ve seen in months!” he laughed, getting up into a sitting position. The brace groaned against the strain. He beamed at me, like a kid in a candy store. Whatever that expression actually referred to. “been locked up so long I’d forgotten how fun this is!”

“yep you’ve lost your mind.” Using the wall for support I got to my feet. we were standing in a small lobby, with a desk, some stairs, an elevator. Along with all the obligatory ruined decorations. Gracie trotted out from behind the desk, her chest puffed out displaying the blood all over her face. and the human arm she carried in her mouth. “how many times Gracie, put it back.” 

She whined, her ears flat against her head. The hand looked like it twitched a little.

“Gracie, you know better than that, give it back.” rigidly I pointed back toward the desk. 

Continuing to whine, she trudged back toward the desk, fingers dragging along beside her. 

“you’re gonna make a great mom one day.” Hancock commented mildly.

“I hope to god my kid doesn’t come home with severed body parts, or Nick and I will have a heart attack.”

“you two planning to have kids?”

The tone was joking but the words made me blush furiously and freeze. “that’s not- I didn’t mean- Nick can’t even-”

“calm down kiddo, I was kidding. Sides I don’t want to see you when you’re pregnant.” He strode right by me, hands deep in his pockets. “looks like they killed Stan.”

With a shake of my head I forced myself out of those thoughts. That was a rabbit hole that I didn’t have time or energy to delve in. instead I looked to the corpse. It was a fresh kill, relatively speaking. They’d kept him alive and screaming for a long while judging by all the blood. he lay on his side, clutching at a broken arm. his legs were bent at the wrong angles, the knees completely shattered. 

I knelt beside him and tested his arm.

“what the hell are you doing?”

“Rigor mortis, it’s when the body goes rigid after death. Nick’s taught me how to,” with a groan I tugged the arm back with a terrible popping sound, “tell time of death from it. he was probably put out of his misery around twelve hours ago. Triggermen were stupid enough to stick around that long?”

“Triggermen were never known for their smarts.” He growled. 

Together we managed to get Stan laid out on the floor. We could finally see his face. it was badly bruised and swollen. Hard to tell how much of that had come before or after death. His mouth was full of larva, little wriggling white things. 

“that’s sick.” 

“that’s death.” I shrugged. Me and Nick had seen way worse than this on the job. One time we’d found a man so badly bloated his limbs stuck out from his torso like awkward sticks on a balloon. We’d had to shoot him at a distance to make sure his insides didn’t get on us. The smell was awful. “it’s Stan alright. Do you want to search his pockets or take a look around the place?”

“all yours.” With hands raised he backed up. Who said chivalry was dead? 

While he went off to look around the place I dug around in Stan’s clothes. “sorry.” I apologized to his pained dead face. “it ain’t anything personal. Just work. Don’t suppose you’ve got anything to tell me. no? alright then.”

“are you talking to a corpse?!” Hancock shouted from the desk.

“is that worse or better than talking to myself?” 

“don’t know, which one talks back?”

Neither, at least for the time being. There was nothing in Stan’s pockets so I let the dead lie. It was then that Hancock approached. “anything?”

“nothing on the Triggermen but Jet and ammo.” He heaved a large shrug. “looks like it’s a dead end. No pun intended.” 

“damn it….” 

“Doesn’t Nick know Darla? Maybe it’s time to bri-”

“no!” 

Hancock flinched, hand going briefly for his gun. “what? Why not?”

How to put this…. I supposed Hancock had been out of the loop with me and Nick for a while now. Doubtless he had no clue what was going on. Had no idea Darla’s obsession with him. “remember when we took out No-Nose?”

The barest hint of a scowl crossed his face. “yeah, when she tried to kill Fahrenheit.” 

“right, well to get some information we made contact with Darla. We humiliated her pretty bad, made a damn fool out of her and got away with it. ever since she’s been dogging Nick’s every move. We used to go months without contact but lately she’s gotten bold. There’s been an attack almost every week for the last two months. And last night she almost won.” 

With folded arms Hancock sat on the desk, his legs dangling over the edge thumped on the wood in a slow gentle rhythm. “what happened?”

“we got lured out of the Diamond and some of these bastards got the drop on us. Nick was hurt bad. It was going bad, we were going to die. Don’t know how we survived it.” the headache was back, pounding against my right eye. the ache in my wrist throbbed. Remembering the ambush made me angry. “afterwards I tried to convince Nick that we had to put an end to her but he’s not having any of it. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“probably doesn’t want to start a war he knows he can’t finish.” Hancock shrugged like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

“I won’t accept that!” I threw a hand around the room, indicating the bodies around us. “Darla almost killed Nick this morning! If he’d died I don’t know what I’d have done. I won’t stand around waiting for the next attack. If she came this close this time, imagine how close the next scrap will be.” 

His face remained passive, inscrutable. Ghouls and their damn scars. 

“Hancock come on.” I’d have punched him if I thought it would make a difference. “Nick’s not gonna do anything about it. if he’s off doing whatever the fuck he’s doing with Magnolia, then I’ve got to protect his hide from Darla.”

“woah wait, hold up, what’s he doin with Magnolia?” 

A question that’d been plaguing me for a good long while. “I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. Right now the problem is Darla. Now are ya gonna help me deal with her or am I doing this on my own?” 

What was left of his brows shot up. “and what’d ya do if I said no?”

“I’d tell you to hobble your crippled ass back to Goodneighbor yourself cause I had better things to do than baby sit an old man like you.”

“rude.”

I bared my teeth. “make up your damn mind already.” 

If he says no, maybe we should shoot him.

After a few moments of prolonged silence, thick enough to cut. He shoved off the desk. Gracie tilted her head at us. As usual, totally unaware what was happening, only picking up on our moods. Deliberately Hancock stretched, making a big show of popping every joint in his arms and hands. With every one he winced a little. “alright then, always wondered what it’d be like to save Valentine’s hide instead of the other way around.”

My shoulders relaxed, all the tension in my body washed away. The headache disappeared too, leaving only my wrist to ache in its place. Don’t worry. We’d get to shoot her, Darla was going to pay for all the shit she’d done. “thanks Hancock.”

“so where do we start?” he waved a hand at the room. “neither Marowski or Darla are here.”

“and all our leads are dead.” I nodded, looking back at the corpse. The doors were still open to the outside. The rain had only gotten worse during our encounter. It was pouring sheets out there. lightning streaked across the sky and thunder rolled. Gracie whined. “even if we could find the trail I doubt it’ll take us far in this. Gracie won’t be able to track anyone.”

“then what do you propose?” 

“go back to Goodneighbor, find a Triggerman safehouse. With luck, we’ll take one of those fuckers alive.” 

That sounds like fun.


	8. Stake Outs

Gray didn’t come home that night. I waited up for her until late, trying to distract myself with this report or that set of notes. Nothing did the trick. When the knock came to the door I practically sprang out of my chair. I had to tell her I wasn’t cheating, she had to know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Couldn’t imagine how she was feeling because of the rumors. All the words were on the tip of my tongue when I threw open the door.

And found a courier standing there instead. 

He handed me a note, said it was from Gray, then left. Feeling miserable I sank to my desk to read. Her untidy but sure handwriting scrawled across the page. 

_Working a case with Hancock, gonna be in Goodneighbor for a couple days. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you when it’s over._

_Gray_

I had half a mind to go back to Goodneighbor right then, even with the pitch black night and the rain. It was so bad parts of the diamond were actually flooding. The roof leaked, and puddle crept in under the walls. Not to mention the lightning. I’d gone out in a storm like this before. got struck by the stuff. And I didn’t care to test the adage ‘lightning doesn’t strike twice.’

So I stayed back at the agency, stewing in my own misery. Good thing Ellie wasn’t around, she wouldn’t have stood for it. 

When daylight broke I tried to convince myself that going out to find Gray was the right thing to do. It wasn’t, and I knew it. she’d just think I didn’t trust her to take on a case herself. Or she’d be angry that I thought she needed my help. she was with Hancock after all, what could she possibly need help with?

I kept debating that with myself long enough until Mags came knocking. When I opened the door this time I managed to temper my own optimism. Like yesterday she wore a faded hoody and jeans, only now she had a .44 magnum strapped to her hip. I eyed the piece. “not exactly what I’d expect you to carry.”

“it packs a punch, so what?” she shrugged, glaring.

Held up my hands in surrender. “didn’t mean anything by it doll, just didn’t expect it is all.”

“just because it’s a big gun doesn’t mean a woman can’t use it.”

“ok, can I back out of this before I start treading too much water?” 

Her face shifted, the shadow of something else flickering there. “sorry, yeah alright.”

“thank you.” Good thing Gray never had mood swings like that. “so what’s the story? Has Irma got a meeting already?” 

She nodded. “yeah, they’re meeting her at the bridge at eleven today.” 

“that was quick.” 

“that’s what I thought, Irma though got the message, so it’s started.” 

“give me a second to get ready.” Leaving her in the doorway I strode around the desk. 

Mags leaned up against the frame with casual interest. “so this is what the agency looks like hm?”

“that’s right, you’ve never seen it have you?” from under my hat I gave her a once over. Seemed weird she’d never come through here before. Especially considering how much we worked together. While I filled my pockets with bullets I watched her make her way inside, around the side of my desk. 

“so do you and Gray share a desk or…?”

“Ellie and Gray share a desk, at least for now. got plans to figure out better arrangements.” For a moment I entirely forgot about the bullets in my hand. instead I watched her, stare almost longingly at Gray’s desk. 

“must be hard, being partners with the person you love. Hard to compartmentalize I mean.” Her fingers caressed slowly across the metal desk top. Over the dents Gray had left, and the ink stains Ellie had tried to clean up. “it must be good too though. you can’t really trust anyone more than you trust her, can you?” 

“you can have love without trust, and trust without love.” The words slipped out in a murmur. 

“that’s true….” The way she said it left a lot unsaid. Her tone loaded with all kinds of emotions and memories. It made me wonder what had happened to her to make her this way. We all had stories. And Mags’ was a mystery to me. “are you ready?”

I blinked and found her staring at me with a frown. “yeah, sure, lets go get in position.” 

We left the diamond without anyone stopping us. Piper noticed our going and tried to call out, not that I was listening or cared. Sorry reporter, we had more important things to worry about. She’d probably skin me alive for it later, if I made it out of this alive. 

Mags took the lead as we left diamond city. A light rain still fell from the night before. it pattered on my hat and shoulders with a quiet rhythm. I’d never get dry after this. ah well. We headed around the side of the diamond headed north to the river. At the top of a street Mags stopped and pointed down it. “that’s where the meeting is, should be in an hour or so. Where do you want to go?”

With crossed arms I looked around the street. Ideally we’d watch from the roofs. In this area I didn’t know of any good places to climb up. Gray would have. Her time with the Railroad had taught her a few routes through the ruins up high. Without her, we’d have to figure out our own way. “there’s a pedestrian bridge overlooking the river just east of here. Let’s see what that can do for us.” 

We cut around the back of the buildings down an alley that spat us out on the riverfront. The moment we stepped into the open a mutant howled at us. “you’ve come to the wrong place humans!” then the ground beside us exploded. The force of it sent both of us sprawling back into the alley. Mags lay there on the ground, a hand against her head. I recovered first. 

Heavy footfalls came pounding down the street. He was charging us, with a missile launcher. That had to be the one of the stupidest things I’d ever heard of. then again it was a mutant. When it came barreling around the corner I leapt at it. I wrapped my hand tight around the barrel of the launcher, pushing it aside. The mutant was too stupid to just pull the trigger. He took his hand off the handle to grab me by the front of the shirt. “what are you?!” it shouted.

“synth scumbag.” I slammed my forehead into its nose. The blood flowed, he barely even reacted. Not exactly what I was hoping for. For a second he abandoned the launcher completely, hauling me off my feet by the front of the shirt. Instinctively I held onto its hands. 

“stupid machine! You can’t hurt Supermutant! Supermutant hurts machine!” to prove his point he swung me around into a wall of the alley. The breath left me, my vision flickered on an off for a few seconds. when it came back, it was to his ugly mug inches from my face. his breath smelled like rotted flesh. If I had a stomach I’d have thrown up in his face.

The institute didn’t build me as strong as a mutant. Not that you needed to be stronger than someone in a situation like this. I jabbed both my thumbs into the mutant’s eyes. the eye balls popped like grapes under the pressure. My metal thumb actually punctured right through to the back of the socket. It howled in pain while blood and pulverized eye poured over its cheeks.

When it dropped me, I scrambled out from around it. it’s massive feet pounded at the ground while it flailed blindly. “My eyes!! my eyes!” it screamed. Some small part of me pitied the big thing. If there was one injury there was no coming back from in the wasteland it was losing your sight. Even if we let it go it’d probably just end up dead in a day. So while it stomped and screamed I pulled my gun.

One of its massive arms flung out toward me, smashing into my stomach like he’d meant to. Once again I found myself tumbling to the ground. My gun left my hand. swearing under my breath I crawled toward it except the mutant got hold of my legs. “I’ll crush you!! Then eat your eyes!”

“good luck with that plan.” My cocky attitude did squat against his strength. He dragged me away from my gun on my stomach. I twisted around, jerking one foot free and losing the shoe in the processes. Like an old sock, I’d started to lose the skin on some of my toes. The metal skeleton stuck out of it like claws. A comparison Gray had made which never sat right with me. served me well this time. With enough force to shove a car, I jabbed the mutant hard in the belly with the end of my foot. The metal went through. Blood spurted while the mutant howled. 

Gripping its belly, it tried to back up. I snagged myself free, span to find my gun. Only a set of shoes met my gaze instead. Three shots rang over the top of my head and the mutant stopped howling. Slowly I followed the shoes up to Mags, standing over me with an angry face. “damn mutants….” She muttered, allowing my gun to fall back to her side. 

With a grunt in agreement, I got up. There were fresh tears in the trench coat. Blood splattered on me. there’d be no explaining this away when Gray saw it. at least I didn’t bleed or this’d been much worse. “sorry about that, didn’t know there was one of those bastards camped out here.”

“it’s fine, are you alright?” she took a step back to give me a once over. Her eyes sparkled with silent laughter when she saw the missing shoe.

Grimacing and disgruntled, I retrieved my shoe from beside the dead mutant. there were three tightly packed holes in its head. It made me stop for a minute. Some of Nick’s old memories surfaced, of his time in the academy. The shooting range. They used to teach all cops to shoot that way. “Mags, where’d you learn to shoot?”

“don’t know.” She shrugged and handed back my gun. “should we get moving?” 

“grab that launcher, could come in handy.” At least I didn’t want any low life idiot picking it up and deciding to have a bit of target practice. A quick search of the mutant gave me only a single missile. Didn’t intend to use it either way. Mags slung the launcher over her shoulder by the strap. Now she looked the part of a wastelander. 

Together we walked down the street toward the bridge that connected street level with the water front. Mutant must have been living here, on his own if the lack of others was an indication. On the bridge hung those disgusting meat sacks mutant’s were so fond of. a single sleeping bag lay in the middle of the bridge beside a cold dead firepit. “one thing I never understand, what’s with the sacks of meat?” I muttered.

“I’ve heard it’s how they store food.” Mags offered from behind. 

“guess mutants gotta eat too….” a half made meat bag lay on the bridge. we picked our way around that carefully. Finally we stood on the top of the walkway with a decent view of the bridge. it was one of only a handful that spanned the Charles river. At the far end it was collapsed into the river. Meaning there was only one way on or off the bridge unless you wanted a swim. “not exactly an ideal meeting location. Wonder what Murtagh is planning.”

“what if he shows up? What are we going to do?” Mags settled down the ground next to a railing. In that position she could easily watch the bridge without being seen.

“then maybe we’ll have a use for the launcher.” This was all too good to be true. Murtagh wouldn’t just agree to meet with someone this quickly. There was going to be a catch. For all we knew Irma was walking right into the crosshairs of a sniper rifle. There was only around a half hour left before the meeting. If there was a sniper involved, he’d be in position already. “do you have binoculars?” 

“I brought a scope I got from Kleo.” 

“that’ll do.” We exchanged the scope for the missile. While I scanned the river she reloaded the launcher. 

From this vantage point you could see the whole river. Including the giant crater in the middle of the city. The Institute. There were some days that I wasn’t even sure it had really been destroyed. Come out of a diagnostic or sleep mode and think to myself, ‘what’s the institute going to pull this time?’ then I remember what the kid had done for us. For every single one of us. More than just taking out a raider gang, she’d destroyed the bogyman of the commonwealth. It was no wonder people were looking to her as a leader these days. Why Sanctuary was growing by leaps and bounds. And why Hintzen wanted her in his back pocket. Control her, and you’d control the future of the commonwealth. Not that the kid liked hearing that.

Thanks to her the institute was nothin but a giant hole in the ground. None of us had to wake up in the morning wondering if we’d be next. Gray didn’t have to worry about the institute making her do something. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder wondering if they’d ever come finish trashing me. 

The crater presented its own kinds of problems. Ferals and worse were way more common in the ruins than ever before. the radiation attracted everything dangerous within miles. Some ghouls had even left the ruins, out of fear that the radiation left by the institute would make their conditions worse. People going insane had gotten worse over the last couple of years too. only needed to count the psychos Gray and I had dealt with to know that. Sebastian Atwood was only one in a long line. 

From the pedestrian bridge I could make out the crater where the water washed into it. on the shores was a massive Deathclaw. Drinking lazily from the river. Well maybe it’d thin the hordes of monsters that had taken up residence there. around the crater the city was quiet and abandoned. The first few blocks were a ghost town, not even raiders set up camp in those parts. Didn’t see anyone on the streets, or inside the buildings. That’d be the place to be if you were a sniper. Even if I didn’t see anyone, it didn’t mean they weren’t there.

“keep your head down and watch out for Irma. Don’t want to tip off Murtagh if he hasn’t already been.” 

“this isn’t my first time Nick.” Mags chuckled. she had her piece out, checking the cylinder. 

Didn’t doubt that. After all she’d been the one to remember a scope. 

We settled in for the long wait. Back in the day the old Nick would have called this a stake out. He had fond memories of sitting in a car for hours on end with nothing but Frank Sinatra for company. A lot of coffee went into those hours. I’d forgotten what good coffee tasted like. 

If this were any other case, if Gray was the one sitting beside me not Mags, I’d make small talk. This was too important to treat that lightly. So we waited in silence. Irma eventually came into sight. Instead of a dress she wore a set of pants, but she hadn’t abandoned that ridiculous feathered jacket. Outside of the den she looked even more out of place than Hancock did in Diamond City. 

As she walked across the bridge she wasn’t even trying to hide her nerves. She wrung her hands, shuffled each step. She kept glancing over her shoulder. either she was looking for the trap, or she was looking for us. I’d almost have liked to shoot at her to scare the shit out of her. Teach her a lesson. Acting like that was liable to ruin this whole thing. Assuming Murtagh was actually planning on showing up.

Noon came and went. According to my internal clock we waited for nearly a half hour before the first sign of contact. It came in the form of a scrawny looking ghoul, shuffling out onto the bridge from the south side. At first I thought it was a feral. He had the glowing eyes that were normal for those types. He didn’t attack though, and he walked with just enough fluidity that I knew he was still mostly sane. That wasn’t Murtagh. Or if it was, he’d let himself go bad since last I laid eyes on him. The guy had the shakes something awful. A junky that was jonesing for fix by the looks of it. dirty clothes, a half put together pipe pistol. Guy like that posed enough of a danger that I found the gun back in my hand. 

Besides bullet proofing and a beacon that Gray could track with her Pipboy, Ellison had done a few other upgrades. Among them, thermal vision and better directional hearing. Don’t ask how either worked, I wasn’t an egghead. With a quick command my hearing went into a sort of tunnel vision. I could now hear Irma and the messenger loud and clear, just couldn’t hear Mags sitting beside me.

“ya Irma?” the man spoke with a thick southern accent that left a lot up for interpretation. 

She straightened herself. Had to hand it to her, she managed to salvage dignity pretty quick. Looking down her nose, reminding me once again of Nick’s grandmother. They had that snobbishness in common. “yes, and you are?”

“don’ matter.” He ran the back of his hand across his nose. “go’ a message for ya.”

If it were possible, she looked down her nose even more at the man. “obviously. Who sent you?” 

Smart woman. don’t tilt your hand until the other person did. 

The junky didn’t know better. He grinned a rotted smile. “who d’ya think? Jimmy.”

“Jimmy?” Irma’s face instantly went skeptical. 

Hadn’t heard anyone refer to Murtagh as Jimmy before. that certainly took a little of the intimidation away. 

Mags leaned into me, using the scope to keep watch on the meeting. “what are they saying?”

I winced when her voice came in loud and clear. Gently I guided her out of my range. “exchanging pleasantries.” 

She said something else but I didn’t catch it. 

Returning my attention to the meeting I tried to get a better look at the junky. There was some small possibility that he was Murtagh in disguise although I very much doubted it. the fact that Murtagh, or Jimmy, didn’t show his ugly mug probably meant he was keeping watch. “Mags, keep low. Jimmy’s probably out there somewhere.”

Once again didn’t catch her response, although I bet it was questioning the name. 

Jimmy helped take the edge off.

“who sent you?” Irma questioned now skeptical.

The junky rolled his eyes, doing a good impression of Irma herself. “ya know, Jimmy Murtagh. Big bad sniper man of the commonwealth.” 

Irma stopped looking down her nose at the man and instead took a glance of her surroundings. “is he here?”

“what? Course not! He ain’t stupid.” and the man grinned, as if that said something about his own intelligence. “he thought ya might be up to soemthin’ so he sen’ me instead.”

Even at this distance I caught the flash of anger that ran over Irma’s face. she now towered over the little scrawny ghoul. For the first time showing those teeth any Goodneighbor native had to have. “what makes you so important rat? I’m here to see Murtagh. If he doesn’t have the balls to meet me in person then there’s nothing to discuss.” 

She started striding away. Mags stood up a little beside me, coming back in range. “what’s she doing?”

“just wait.” Gently I forced her to sit back down. this is exactly what I’d have done.

“he said ya migh’ say that so he told me to make it quick.” The junky didn’t even try to stop her. He kept standing in the middle of the bridge, playing with his sleeve. 

Irma came to an abrupt stop, her heels clicked cleanly on the blacktop. After a few more seconds of silence, she turned around to look at him. “well? What does Murtagh have to say for himself?”

The junky let out a thin chuckle that turned more wheeze toward the end. “said he doesn’t know if he can trust ya.”

“he can trust me.”

“he don’t know that.” That toothy grin could only be described as conspiratorial. He acted like he knew more about the game than we did. “so he said to tell you that if ya wan’ a meetin’ ya gotta bring somethin’ on good faith.”

“and what exactly would that be?” with her hands on her hips she faced him fully. Imagined she’d probably like to grind her heel into this guy’s skull right about then. Wouldn’t blame her if she did. “I’m offering him the secrets of some of the commonwealth’s most secretive people. Does he think I’ll just bring drives of those scans to him now?”

Another chuckle, this one lower. “nah, he knows ya too well for tha’. But there’s something else he wants.”

“well out with it little man. My time is precious.” She snapped.

“he wants you to bring ‘im Nicky Valentine.” 

“well isn’t that interesting?” I murmured softly.

I felt Mags’ gaze flicker to me. down below Irma stiffened for a split second before recovering. “that won’t be possible. Valentine isn’t an easy man to lure in, believe me, I’ve tried.”

The junky heaved a shrug that made the bones of his shoulders stick out like wings. “them the breaks doll. Gonna have to figure ou’ somethin’. Jimmy said ya’d figure it out. Ya bring ‘im to Wildwood Cemetery, tonight at six o’clock, sharp. Only when Jimmy see that you’ve got the goods will he talk. Simple ain’t it?”

“and if I don’t bring Valentine?” she tried to act confident but her mask was starting to slip. None of us had been expecting this. 

“then goo’ ol’ Jimmy’s just gonna kill ya.” The way he said it made it sound like the most obvious and reasonable thing in the world. In this game it was. Jimmy couldn’t afford to let Irma go. Either she was going to do what he said or she was going to die. 

The same thing seemed to go through Irma’s head too. eventually she gave a simple dignified nod. “Very well, six o’clock at Wildwood. I hope I don’t see you again.”

He laughed. “good one. This ain’t the last you’ve seen of me good lookin.”

“I’m old enough to be your mother.”

“tha’ don’ matter to me.” with one final wink, just to leave Irma shivering with disgust, he walked off.

Mags and I stayed put long enough to be sure the man had gone. Irma started wondering back toward the ruins. Even from here she looked pale. Still crouched low I tugged on Mags. “lets go have a chat with our friend.”

We crept back along the bridge toward the alley. Once out of sight of the river we straightened and went looking for Irma. She just about jumped out of her skin when we walked out of the shadows to intercept her. Scowling she turned to face us. “I hope you got what you wanted. Now my neck is on the chopping block.”

“your neck was always on a chopping block.” I pointed out in a dry humorless tone. “it’s just now on Hintzen’s block.”

Huffing she crossed her arms and scowled. “can I assume you two were listening to the whole thing?”

“yes.”

“I only caught some of it.” Mags gave me a reproachful look. As if it were my fault she didn’t have upgraded hearing. “give me the important stuff. Why didn’t Murtagh show?”

Irma cast a glance over her shoulder like she fully expected Jimmy to appear at any second. Or maybe she was still expecting that bullet to the brain. “he wants a good faith gesture before he comes out in the open. He wants me to bring him collateral.” 

“in the form of me.” I finished mildly.

A fist shot out of nowhere, connected solidly enough to make me stagger. When I recovered it was to find Mags gripping her hand and swearing. “you’re not actually thinking of going through with that?!”

“need some ice for that hand?”

“this is serious!” she thundered. Even when she was angry her voice was softer than any other woman I knew. Record that, put some piano over it, it could be another song. “any number of things can go wrong here! What if Murtagh is already onto us? What if this is just a ploy to see how far you’ll take things to get to him?”

“and what if this is the only chance we have of getting to him?” I countered fiercely. “my safety means jack-shit if Hintzen and Jimmy are allowed to walk free. I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. This isn’t up for debate Mags.”

“you don’t know what they’ll do to you if things go wrong.” Instead of Mags, the quiet concerned words came from Irma. She had her heavy eyes on me, overshadowed by all that blond hair. “we don’t know what they’ll do to me. the way I see it, if we go out there, we’re both dead.”

“sorry doll, but I don’t care what happens to you.” that wasn’t entirely true. I did feel responsible for her safety to a degree. Certainly wouldn’t lose any sleep over her death, not that that was an option. 

“Nick listen, there’s got to be another way. Think about Gray. You’re all she’s got, you can’t keep being so reckless with yourself.” Mags pleaded. 

“I’m not being reckless.”

“this whole scheme is reckless!” she threw her arms up.

This was starting to get irritating. Irma I understood, she was trying to save her own hide. Mags though? “It doesn’t matter what you say, how much you argue with me, or what you do. As far as I can see, this is the closest I’ve ever come to killing these bastards and I intend to do just that. You’re either with me or you’re not.”

“this is ridiculous Nick!” 

“not to me Mags.” My voice softened. For a few minutes my anger left me. gently I reached out, touched Mag’s arm with my left hand. “Irma doesn’t have a choice, but you do. You’ve helped me get this far and for that you’ve got my gratitude, for what it’s worth. You don’t have to go any further. I’m the only one that needs to put their neck on the line.”

“besides me of course.” Irma rolled her eyes deeply.

We both ignored her. “so you can get off this crazy train ride here. Go back to Goodneighbor and live out your life. No hard feelings. No obligation. You’ve done your part Mags.”

“no I haven’t.” her voice went cold and hard as steel.

I blinked. “what?”

“my part, is to make sure you get home to Gray alive and in one piece. My part isn’t done until this is over.” With a set jaw she pulled herself out of my arm’s reach. The fire in her eyes could have lit a reactor. “get used to that idea detective. I’m not going anywhere.”

That stirred something. not in the back of my head this time though, in my chest. With a hard swallow I tried to ignore it. turned back to Irma who’s mood had darkened. “alright then, lets go hand me over to Jimmy.”

“we’re going to need to sell it.” Irma answered with the barest hint of mirth. 

One of my brows shot up. “and how are we gonna do that.”

“how do you feel about chains?"


	9. Hot and Cold, Then Very Hot

“I want to kill them.”

“so do I.”

“why haven’t we yet?”

“ya know, I had an answer to that a while back. Not so much anymore.”

I groaned under my breath, arms folded. We were crouched down in some office, in some repair dock, in some part of the city beside the river. It was all very ridiculous. The rumor that brought us here had been a bit on the sketchy side. Triggermen had a safe house out in the Shamrock Shipping yard. Or that’s what a friend of a friend of a buddy of White Chapel Charlie had said. Hancock swore by the Handy’s information but I was beyond skeptical.

It turned out to be true and I’d handed twenty caps over to Hancock. Wasn’t hard to sneak into the shipyard which was appalling. Hiding out in an old locker room we listened to the triggermen inside chat away. They were camped out on the ship that was still docked in the repair dock. Not exactly where I’d have set up. They weren’t talking about anything important. It was some of the most boring conversation I’d ever heard coming from these guys. 

And after what they did to Marowski and his body guard my wrist ached to draw some more blood. 

“why are we letting them live?” Hancock questioned quietly, while he twirled his knife. 

Out of the corner of my eye I watched him, frowning. “we’re here for information, not retribution.” 

“all’s I’m saying is we might get more out of them if we give em a taste of their own medicine.” 

“torture? That’s dark, even for you.” 

Instead of answering he just shrugged. Like that didn’t deserve an answer. 

He’d been doing that a lot, ever since we found Stan. I’d say he was acting suspicious if it wasn’t directed at me. There were some times that he acted outright hostile. Up until now at least he hadn’t turned his gun on me. The fact that we had gotten this far without breaking into an argument should have impressed both of us. If either of us weren’t so stubborn. 

Had to admit the prospect of putting an end to this stake out was pretty enticing. We’d already been there a little too long for my liking. So far nothing important had been said.

“the boss is one crazy bitch ain’t she?” a ghoul’s voice drifted through the doorway to us. 

“don’t let her catch you sayin that.” Another laughed. “she’d probably beat ya to a pulp with that bat of hers.” 

“do ya ever miss Skinny Malone? At least he wasn’t one to turn on his men.” 

“hell nah! The man had no ambition! At least with Darla we’re goin places!”

“they say someone’s gone and backed her up.” A new voice entered the conversation, human. Before we’d settled into to eavesdrop we’d counted at least six Triggermen hanging around on the boat. 

A ghoul grunted. “probably. Do you know anyone else that’s got hardware like this? I’ve never even shot a laser rifle until now. used to think only Institute and Gunners had this kind of stuff.” 

“well it ain’t comin’ from the Gunners. Hear they’re not worth talking about anymore.” 

“then who’s it coming from?” 

A deafening silence followed that question. out of curiosity I shuffled up to the doorway and peeked around. Like I’d see anything. Imagined the Triggermen exchanging looks during the silence. When it was broken it was by a reluctant gravely voice. “the last guy that asked that question, ended up belly up in the glowing sea.” 

“do you know who it’s coming from then?” 

The tension in the air could have been a brick wall. Hancock came up beside me, leaning over out the door. “what do ya suppose that’s about?” 

“no idea….” That wasn’t entirely true. I had an idea, as ridiculous as it seemed. 

The human finally spoke again, cutting the silence. “is it that scary?”

“look, if ya want to get yourself killed, askin the wrong questions, then go ask Darla how long it’s been since she got dick.” That got everyone else laughing, dispelling the tension from seconds ago. “at least that’ll keep us out of it.”

“assholes.”

A door at the side of the shipyard banged open. Hancock and I retreated back behind cover. Our shoulders tensed while our hands went for our guns. A set of shuffling footsteps walked in. “ey! Triggermen in ‘ere somewhere?!” 

“the hell kind of accent is that?” I muttered out the corner of my mouth.

Hancock shrugged. “southern I think, it’s been a while.”

The warehouse was suddenly filled with foot falls and crashing chairs. A couple warning shots rang through the room. “stay right where you are chem head! What the hell are you doing here?!”

“well ain’t that swell?” the accented voice grumbled. “I come ‘ere tryin to make nice, and ya’ll pull your pieces on me. and they say southern ‘ospitality is dead.”

“the fuck do you want? Talk now before I put a bullet through you!” a ghoul shouted.

There came a thin chuckle which made me wonder if the new guy was wiry. Carefully I crept back to the doorway. At this angle I couldn’t see anyone but a couple Triggermen standing on the deck of the boat. Their weapons were out. “alrigh’ keep your shirts on. I got word on somethin that your boss is gonna be interested in hearin.” 

The Triggermen exchanged looks. One or two lowered their weapons. Pretty stupid if you asked me. or maybe this southerner didn’t look like much of a threat. Eventually a ghoul spoke up again. “what’s the news?”

“I see you like pleasin’ your boss, good traits for people like us to have. now listen up cause I’m only gonna say this once. Word is that Valentine is gonna be at Westwood Cemetery at around six tonight. Now I know your boss got a bone to pick with ‘im. You lot’d be sittin’ real pretty if ya went and got ‘im for her.”

My chest tightened. breath hitched in my lungs, I looked back at Hancock. His eyes were wide. Neither one of us had to say anything. If Nick was in trouble, we couldn’t sit around to let it happen. 

“why are you telling us this?” a different ghoul snapped.

Footsteps started walking back toward the wall. At last I could see the southerner. A ghoul, with glowing eyes. the scars on his face were deep and a dark red. No hair to speak of. his clothes were dirty and crumpled. On his hip hung a pipe pistol. 

Beside me Hancock spat. “David….”

“ya know him?”

“he’s a regular over at the Rexford. Last I saw he didn’t look this bad.” 

“he’s gotta be the messenger Marowski was talking to.” 

“dumb idiot. He always brown nosed to whoever he could.” 

David stopped at the door to the outside, looking back at the Triggermen. “Jimmy’s arranged it all. Good faith gesture. Your boss is gonna love it.” 

“Jimmy?” Hancock and I both muttered the name aloud as David left the warehouse. 

The Triggermen meandered around on deck, weapons down. “what do ya think?” the human asked.

“seems weird doesn’t it?” another voice added. “why would Valentine put himself out in the open? And why does this Jimmy guy care?”

“does it matter?! Imagine what Darla would do if we brought her Valentine! She’d set us up for life! She’d finally get her chance to make scrap outta that machine!” 

“you’re right!” 

Hancock grabbed the back of my coat, hauling away from the doorway. I hadn’t even realized I’d been walking through it until he pulled me back. without a word he dragged me through the office back into the cold commonwealth. The rain hadn’t let up and in fact it looked like it was about to get worse. In the distance thunder rolled. Once outside I swiped his hand away from my collar. “what are you doing?! They’re going to kill Nick!”

“and what if they’re not the only ones?” Hancock countered for a moment seeing more sense than I did. His black eyes pierced me so hard it felt like he’d literally pinned me to the ground. “I don’t know what game this Jimmy guy is playing, my gut says that these aren’t the only people he’s told. We gotta get to Valentine first and warn him.”

“right, right, makes sense.” Why hadn’t I thought of that? Why had my first instinct been just to kill the Triggermen? Of course there could be other threats. The best thing would be to get to Nick and tell him to go to ground first.

“do you know where Wildwood Cemetery is?” Hancock’s voice was low as he checked his shotgun for bullets.

“not exactly but give me a sec.” quickly I reached for my Pipboy. I’d discovered a while back that not all locations were marked on its map. even if the cemetery was we didn’t have time to wait for me to find the damn thing. So instead I navigated to the radio tab. One of the upgrades I’d asked Ellison to make on Nick was a beacon. She’d stuck it in his head so that it couldn’t be removed. It had limited range. She’d told me that my Pipboy would only be able to pick him up within a couple kilometers. If I had a bigger receiver that could be doubled. She was working on that upgrade next.

Nick had made me swear to only use it in emergency situations if he let Ellison put it in. If this didn’t count as an emergency I didn’t know what would. Thankfully, the little beeping noise that was Nick’s signal came in. not too quiet either which meant he was close. A little number in the bottom part of my screen read off a percentage. At a 100% we’d be on top of him. “alright come on, he can’t be that far.”

The Triggermen hadn’t even left their safehouse by the time we headed off. Maybe they were trying to figure out where Wildwood Cemetery was too. had to admit, following the beeping wasn’t as easy as I’d have liked. The signal almost seemed sporadic. At first it led us due west for a while before abruptly changing direction. I’d have a talk with Ellison about that later. We didn’t bother with paths or roads, making a B-line directly to wherever the signal pointed. 

Except when we passed close to Covenant, which we skirted around. Once we left that behind the signal started to pick up. We were close. Hancock spotted the cemetery first. A white washed wall at the top of a hill out in the middle of nowhere. The signal pointed in that direction so I switched off my Pipboy to focus on the climb. By this time the rain had picked up so much there were streams of mud flowing down the hill. It threatened to take our feet right out from under us. A few streaks of lightning arched across the sky, connecting with nearby powerlines. 

“he’s here, keep your eyes out.” My heart pounded hard in my ears. What if we hadn’t gotten here in time? What if it was too late? What if someone had already nabbed him? that was stupid, I had to tell myself. The signal wouldn’t have brought us here and if he were dead then there wouldn’t be a signal at all. Nick was here, alive, somewhere. 

We crested the hill, racing passed a half collapsed house just outside the cemetery. It was here that Hancock split off from me, racing into the gloom and rain to spread out the search. A wrought iron fence poked out from the ground to block my way. A crypt stood beside trees and a little beyond that was a sea of headstones. 

Near the middle of the cemetery I caught a head of familiar blond hair. It wasn’t quite as groomed, or tidy as it usually was. If it weren’t for the fringe of red feathers around the collar I might not have recognized it at all. What the hell was Irma doing here? 

I found a gate in the fence and tore up the path passed the crypt. At the top of the hill I came to a dead stop, my heart in my throat. Irma wasn’t alone. She stood beside the tree at the center of the cemetery. The rain had done nothing for her usually meticulous outfit. Beside her, on his knees, was Nick. He had thick chains wrapped around his chest and arms. A gag was tied around his mouth. His eyes were closed. 

What the hell was this?! Why the hell was Irma here? Let alone with Nick like this! Was she planning to hand him over to the Triggermen?! What had he ever done to her to deserve this? I could understand her putting me on the chopping block but this?! my wrist burned, my insides tightened. the headache behind my right eye started to pound so badly I couldn’t ignore it. Irma would pay. I’d tear her fucking throat out. I’d make her beg before it was over. Whatever she was planning, she wouldn’t live long enough to regret it!

My gun jumped to my hand while I surged to my feet. for a few seconds while I strode at her she didn’t even notice me. thanks to the gloom and the thunder I went unnoticed. It wasn’t until Nick looked up and jerked did Irma finally turn. She glanced at him then to me. her eyes flew wide. Her hands went up while she backed up. “O'Malley! What are you do-”

I pistol whipped her in the temple. She hit the mud with a sickening squelch. Clutching her now bleeding head she got up on an elbow. Steadily I pressed my gun to her head. “give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you now….”

“it’s not what it looks like! I swear!”

“really, cause it looks like you’re about to sell the love of my life to the Triggermen.” I murmured in such a low menacing tone it surprised even me.

“Gray put it down!”

The sound of his voice made me jerk. I span around to face him. he was on his feet, the gag hanging loosely around his neck. He was still wrapped up in chains. “what’s going on? Nick why the hell are you two out here?”

“I’ll explain everything later, for now you’ve got to go.” He stepped up beside me, pressing his forehead against mine. Best he could do in the place of a hug with his hands tied. “how’d you even find me? don’t tell me you used the beacon. Never mind. Just go.”

“not till you explain what the hell is happening.” It didn’t add up. Why would Nick let Irma do this to him? didn’t he know it was a trap? Shit he didn’t know. “Nick listen, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here, but Triggermen are on their way.”

“what?!” he took a half step back, face going slack.

“yes! They’re here to kill you or take you to Darla I don’t know which, we’ve got to get out of here.” 

“why would Murtagh go through all this trouble just to get the Triggermen involved?” Irma questioned sharply. 

Nick and I looked at her then back at each other. “Murtagh? Is this about Hintzen?”

A pained expression crossed his face. “Gray, I-” A bullet cut him off, cutting clean through his arm and out the other side. He cried out, falling to a knee while more bullets joined the first. They weren’t aimed at him, they were aimed at Irma and me. 

quickly I took cover behind the nearest headstone. Granite chipped away, flying like little stone splinters everywhere. Irma scurried behind the tree to take cover. Nick wriggled on the ground, the chains easily coming loose around his wrists. So it had been a ruse. Well at least I wouldn’t have to kill Irma then. 

“Where are they coming from?!” Irma screamed like a banshee. I take that back, maybe I’d have to kill her purely on principal. 

Nick finally got free. With his back to a headstone he produced his revolver form a pocket. “south, east, Gray keep your head low!” 

“worry about me later!” in a firefight, worrying about someone else was liable to get you killed. Recklessly I got up on a knee to fire at the ridge. There were half a dozen Triggermen on the path overlooking the cemetery. Some were taking shelter in the crypt, others behind headstones. They were spreading out. Soon we wouldn’t have a safe place to hide. My bullets found at least one target before they dodged out of sight. Then the rest force me to take cover again. 

Nick didn’t have much cover to hide behind. The headstone was already in bad shape to begin with, not that this was doing it any favors. At least most of the bullets weren’t aimed at him. the Triggermen were smart enough to know Darla would probably want to kill him herself. Which gave him a unique opportunity. Which he knew. He stood tall, throwing caution to the rain swept wind. With deadly accuracy he downed one, two and three triggermen as he strode toward me. 

Once he was at my side he dropped back down behind cover. “it’s good to see you gray.”

“you can get all mushy with me later, when we’re not under fire, in a cemetery. And I swear to god if you make a final resting place joke here, I’ll shoot you myself.”

He grinned crookedly, in spite of the bullets whizzing by and the patter of stone as our cover slowly disintegrated. “I’ve missed you.”

“I said mushy later.” To emphasize my point I got up again to fire. The Triggermen were rounding slowly around the cemetery. They had the higher ground. Had more numbers. And soon they’d have us surrounded. “we’ve gotta retreat.” 

“give it a second, we’ve got backup.”

“Hancock is a cripple with a double barrel shotgun up against triggermen. I wouldn’t call that backup.” 

“Hancock’s here?” immediately following Nick’s surprised question an explosion went off on the ledge. A handful of Triggermen went flying, a couple more were torn apart instantly. While they screamed their last, Nick grabbed my arm, hauling me in retreat to the other end of the cemetery. “Irma! Move your ass!”

The older woman collected her soggy, muddy self from behind the tree, falling in line behind us. More triggermen were on the way. So David had contacted more than just the cell we were watching. Where in the hell had that missile even come from? The sound of a shotgun going off made me stop and turn. Just on the edge of the cemetery now I could look back at the whole thing. Hancock was there, firing gleefully into the crowd of gangsters. A sadistically wide grin split his scarred face. only time I’d ever seen that was when he was killing Supermutants outside Goodneighbor. 

“Nick!” 

He stopped and looked back. teeth bared he tore back to my side, reloading his revolver as he went. “stay low, cover to cover. Watch each other’s backs.” 

Didn’t need to tell me twice. We were so used to doing this together by now the orders were unnecessary. While Nick ran for the first bit of cover I lay down suppression fire. The triggermen that had been about to surround Hancock scattered. He looked back at me, gave a little wave, then fired after them. As I fired I ran forward until I came to a headstone, then I crouched.

Nick then got up, firing into the enemy, giving me time to inch my way up to the next bit of cover. We did this tag teaming half way across the cemetery. Inch by inch the Triggermen retreated under the combined assault of me Nick and Hancock. 

“that all ya got?!” Hancock shouted at them. “come on! I’m a cripple! You gonna tell your boss you got beat by a cripple?!”

“we’re going to kill you!” a ghoul shouted back.

“you won’t! Fahrenheit will when she hears about this!” he laughed loudly.

Nick and I exchanged looks through the rain. “he’s probably right.” I smirked.

“you’re the one enabling him.” He smirked right back. “she’s gonna kick your ass.”

“not before I’ve kicked yours for going around my back.” 

That got a scowl out of him.

Hancock chased what was left of the triggermen up and over the hill. Like an excited bloodhound with a scent. There weren’t many left, just a couple that were probably scared shitless. From below I stood, watching them retreat with so much self satisfaction. Although a voice in my head really wanted to join that hunt. With the sound of Hancock’s shotgun in the distance I looked to Nick. “so, exactly what is going on Nick?” 

Sheepishly he put his gun away. His head tilted he hid his face, doing his best to hide that guilt like some kind of child. In fact I was pretty sure I’d seen Danny use a similar stance when his mother caught him stealing Nuka-Cola. “thanks for saving my neck.” 

With a long sigh I put my gun away. After all it looked like the danger had passed. “what was I supposed to do? Let Irma trade you for a bag of caps? Ever heard of Judas Nick?” 

“I’m surprised you have.” finally he looked up, brows raised.

I rolled my eyes so much it actually hurt a little. “stop avoiding it. what’s this got to do w-” the sentence was overcome by a scream.

A laser struck me in the back. I felt my skin instantly start to boil, my leather coat caught fire. The pain was so excruciating for a split second I lost consciousness while my brain went into shock. When I came back it was to the sound of my own screams, muffled by the mud under my face. 

Hands came down on top of me. something landed on my back. the pain reached new levels while someone patted out the flames on my back. they licked at the back of my neck, singeing my hair before they were gone. Lying there flat on my stomach I could do nothing except scream and shiver. 

Somewhere on the edge of my perception I could hear Nick, panicked, terrified. “Gray! Gray hold on! We’ll get you a stim! Stay still. God damn it!”

Footsteps squelched up to us. For a minute I thought it was the fucker that had shot me. then knees landed in the mud beside me and a familiar voice spoke. “oh god… Gray I’m so sorry….”

“sorry isn’t gonna cut it Mags! Stimpak!”

“I don’t have any.”

“what the hell help are you then?!” 

“Nick calm down.”

“don’t tell me to fucking calm down! Gray’s hurt!” 

My screams were ragged whines now in my chest. I’d lost the breath to keep it up and my throat felt raw. Every raindrop that fell on my back sent waves of pain through my body. I’d never once in my life taken a laser. This was even worse than I imagined. If it weren’t for the rain I knew my face would be wet with tears. 

“Nick you know what you have to do.” Mags murmured almost too quietly to hear.

“no.” 

“she’s in pain Nick! This is the only way!”

“I won’t do that to her!” his enraged shout jostled me. 

Whimpering I tried to move but the pain proved too much. It even hurt turn my head. From down here all I could see was the bottom of Nick’s jaw and his twisted expression. You’d think he was the one that had gotten shot not me. 

“we don’t have a choice.”

“Hancock might have something, a Med-x or a Stim or-”

“she doesn’t have that time. Look at her, she’s going into shock! Look at her!” Magnolia was right. my limbs were going cold, I could feel them shaking. My tongue felt thick in my mouth. Any second now I’d start ceasing. “if she does there’s a good chance she’ll swallow her tongue. You’ve got to do it.”

“I swore I’d never use that code!”

With a jolt my mind caught up with what she was suggesting. The recall code. I’d experienced its effects twice in my life. The second time I’d been put under after taking a beating. I hadn’t felt the pain until I woke up. It would certainly be preferable to this level of agony. I wish I could say as much to Nick but my tongue wouldn’t work anymore. All that came out was sobs while the pain kept coursing through my body.

Nick continued to hesitate.

“I know you don’t want to. I know it’s hard, but Gray needs it. do it for her. Hurry.”

Groaning Nick put a hand on the side of my face. with shaking breath he leaned down to my ear. His hat protected me from the rain letting me hear his voice loud and clear. “I’m sorry Gray, please forgive me for this….” a few more seconds of hesitation followed. The shaking was getting worse. I couldn’t breathe now. god this had better work. “V3-27 Epsilon 78 Cirrus.”


	10. Mags Was Right

She lay there. as white as a sheet. Unmoving. Silent except for small groans of pain that issued out of her. This was my fault. if I hadn’t set up that meeting. If I hadn’t told Irma to do it. If I had been more careful then Gray wouldn’t be lying there, half dead. that’s a lie. It wasn’t the meeting or the fact that I wasn’t careful that got her here. It was because I hadn’t told her. If I’d just let her in on the plan then she wouldn’t have been there. or at least if she had been, this wouldn’t have happened. Damn it. why did it have to go this way?

The agency smelled like burned clothes and charred skin. My trench coat and her coat lay in a singed corner. They were both ruined. Gray might be a bit upset about that when she recovered. With my back to the wall I sat opposite the bed where Gray lay. She lay on her stomach, her face turned toward me. the effects of the code had worn off a couple hours ago, after Doc Sun came in to examine her. You could tell because even under the Med-X in her system her face still scrunched up. 

Thanks to all those chems, she hadn’t woken up yet. 

Sun had said that it could have been much worse. The laser should have killed her, reached her heart and boiled it in her chest. Whether by some miracle, or just dumb luck, the laser hadn’t been fully powered. It did plenty surface damage. He said that there may be residual pain the rest of her life, though she should regain full mobility in a couple weeks. Those Stimpaks really did cut recovery time in half didn’t they? He’d managed to save most of the skin with treatment. The very center of the burn however was too damaged. He’d had to perform a skin graft. The bandages on her back hid most of the worst of it. I could still see the burns that crept up her neck into her hair. 

The door at the front of the agency opened. The off rhythm footsteps of John came trotting down the hall. “Irma’s set up in the Dugout Inn. Fed Zoon some bullshit about an ex lover stalking her. It ain’t gonna last. Wright’s gonna find out what we’re doin soon enough.”

“we’ll deal with that later.” I didn’t even look at him. Piper finding out was the least of my concerns. Irma was now on Jimmy’s list. Had he known what was going on from the beginning? Probably. It wasn’t hard to imagine. So we’d put everyone in danger for nothing. Gray was lying there for nothing. 

the sound of a striking match brought my eyes around up to John. He had a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, puffing casually on it. 

“you shouldn’t smoke that around her.”

“she’ll be fine. It ain’t like she’s pregnant.” He smirked at his own joke before his eyes fell on Gray. A shadow passed over his face. “ah at least… the cigarette won’t do any worse….”

Ran a hand over my head. This was a nightmare. If I was capable of having nightmares I knew this would have been one of them. “I’m surprised to find you working with her John. I thought you hadn’t forgiven her yet.”

He ran a tongue across his leathery lips nervously. “seeing her like this… it puts things in perspective ya know? Life’s too short to hold on to that kind of shit. Especially since she wasn’t the one that did it.”

“but what about before? what made you decide to finally make contact after all this time? And don’t try to feed me bullshit John, I’m not in the mood.”

For a minute he let silence fall between us. With all the casualness of a man with no responsibility he puffed at his cig. There was that far away look on his face. Calling it contemplative would have been giving John too much credit. Usually saw it when he popped a Mentat. For a second I thought he wasn’t going to answer at all, then finally he met my eyes. “don’t know, just felt right. it was a test, see if I could get near her without wanting to shoot her. Pretty successful wouldn’t you say?” 

That’s not what I was hoping for. It was John though. I shouldn’t have been expecting more. He barely put that much thought into anything. At least in this case it’d led to something good. Sucking in a long breath through my nose I looked back to Gray. “and how are things between you two? Have you forgiven her?”

“she didn’t do anything, it was that freak Rush made that was to blame.” The fact that he could make that distinction astonished me. calling John a simple guy wasn’t an exaggeration. “and after this, I can’t just pretend she doesn’t exist anymore. Vel’s my kid. if I die, I don’t want to leave any regrets behind. Besides that, I may have to have someone to take over Goodneighbor when I’m gone.”

“you want her to run Goodneighbor?” this was the first I’d heard of it. somewhere in the back of my mind I could acknowledge that John wouldn’t be mayor forever. Being a ghoul though forever wasn’t that far off. Couldn’t believe that he’d actually given that inevitability a thought. 

“why the hell not? I’m old Nick, this leg slows me down. I wake up missing more bits of myself every day. It’s gettin’ close to retirement for me.” 

“you’re going to retire?” I laughed. The notion that he would ever step down, go forever quietly into the dark was hilarious. No way in hell John would do that. 

He scowled out from under that trifold hat. “what? Don’t think I could do it?”

“I don’t think you’d last in retirement.” 

“I say retirement, but what I actually mean is taking a one way trip out of the Commonwealth.” He stamped out his cigarette in one of my ashtrays. “want to see the world before this brain starts to rot. Go fix some old regrets before I turn feral.” 

I watched the thin line of smoke drift from the ash to the ceiling. It was almost calming. “what kinds of regrets are those?” 

“ya know, the only kinds of regrets guys like me have.” with his hands deep in his pockets he leaned up against the wall. “a girl.”

Of course it was a girl. I’d have asked him to elaborate but the door in front opened. In walked Mags, looking a little pale and a little tired. She stopped just inside the hall, frowning at Gray. “how is she? Has she woken up?”

“not yet.” With a grunt I rose. My joints creaked while I did. There was mud and Supermutant blood in places I’d forgotten I had. We all looked like shit. Each and every one of us covered in mud and muck. The only one that was clean was Gray but that was on account of Sun. none of the rest of us had taken the time to clean up yet. “how’re you feeling? Did Sun patch you up?”

“yeah.” Her hand drifted to her bicep where a bandage peaked out from under her sleeve. “he said I’ll heal in a day or two. He took a little more skin than he needed to make Gray’s healing easier.” 

“thank you for doing that, I would have but….”

She shook her head. “I was the only one. unless you wanted to tie Irma down and force her to give some of her skin.”

“don’t think kiddo would have been opposed to a little ghoul skin.” John huffed out a gravely laugh. 

Mags shot him a look. “you obviously have no idea what a woman wants.” 

“and you do.” he winked knowingly.

That got a roll of the eyes out of her. “in your dreams John.”

“you’re not wrong.”

“shut up….” The gravely voice sounded so rough it could have belonged to a ghoul.

We all three jumped and swung to Gray. She hadn’t moved an inch but now her eyes were cracked open, and glaring. With a hand on her cheek I knelt beside the bed. “hey, there you are. Ya still with us?”

She gave a half hearted attempt at a smirk. “can’t get rid of me that easy….” 

“are you in pain?” Mags stepped around to my left, folded in under the stairs. “the doctor gave us some more Med-X and stims if you are.”

Gray swallowed dryly. “no I’m fine…. Some water would be nice….”

“I’ll go see what I can find.” John hobbled back down the hall out the front door.

That left me Gray and Mags alone. The latter stood awkwardly to one side, unsure what she should do with herself. Now might not be the time to have this conversation, but if any of us were going to move on I had to say it. “Gray listen. I know what you’ve been hearing and the rumors aren’t true. Ya gotta believe me when I say I’d never hurt you like that.” 

Gradually she dragged one of her hands off the bed to reach for me. I grasped her cold limp fingers. I don’t think I’d ever seen her this weak. Everything about this scared me. her gray eyes met mine steadily. “you’re an idiot….”

“alright….” Didn’t argue with that. How could I?

“you should have told me what was going on.” She groaned. 

“you’re right.”

The smile lifted the corners of her tired mouth just a little. “I’m glad you weren’t sleeping with her though.” 

Gently I kissed her on the cheek, my eyes screwed shut. “I am so sorry Gray….”

“don’t be…. I would have done the same thing. I uh… did do the same thing.” 

When I sat back I found her grimacing with a hint of the same guilt I was feeling. One of my brows went up without my say so. “what did you do?” 

“we’ll talk about that later, when Hancock gets back.” groaning painfully, she shifted around on the bed until she could see Mags and me. her face was stony. “when did you know?”

“know what?” Mag’s brows furrowed.

“about the synth thing.”

Her head tilted back as realization donned on her. She took in a long quiet breath. “I knew the moment I set eyes on you.”

“what?”

“don’t be alarmed, no one else would have noticed.” She threw up her hands quickly, in an attempt to stop the onslaught of anger that was sure to come. “I just know the signs. I’m a synth too Gray.”

Gray’s eyes went wide. She jerked a little, her fingers slipped from my hand. “for how long?!”

“for as long as I’ve been alive.”

“don’t play jokes with me, you know what I mean.” She snapped.

Mags met my eyes. the shadow of something raced through her face before it was gone. Every time the subject of her past came up she gave me that look. What exactly had happened between us? “I’m not a replacement. I escaped the institute in the early days, back when components weren’t put in synths. That’s why I can live out in the open. The institute couldn’t have brought me back even if they wanted to.”

Gray relaxed a little, settling back down on the mattress. Her gaze slid to me. “did you know about this?”

“yeah, Mags and I have been working together for almost two years now.” I nodded solemnly. 

“and you trusted her enough to tell her about… me?” 

“I trust her with my life. And she’s literally given skin for you gray. We can trust her.” 

She didn’t seem too satisfied by that. With her lips drawn in a tight line she put her face into the mattress. A few muffled words drifted out. 

“sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“I said, she better not make me regret this.” when she turned to look at Mags again she had narrowed eyes. “but let me make something real clear. If you start making the moves on my guy, I’ll punch your teeth out, we clear?” 

Mags smiled, like those had been the words she was waiting to hear. “very clear.”

“good.”

“you’re adorable when you’re jealous.” I smiled at her crookedly, my expression soft. 

She just shot a glare at it before settling back on the bed. 

Up front the door opened one more time. John came back with a scowl on his face and a bottle of purified water in hand. “Diamond city is never gonna change is it? had to go ask Zoon for some water no one else was selling.” 

“I could have told you that.” I took the water he offered. “alright Gray, think you can sit up?”

“maybe….” Groaning in pain and effort, she forced herself to a sitting position slowly. Her face twisted up in agony as she moved. There wasn’t much of a shirt left so she held a sheet to her chest. Shakily she took the bottle.

John put himself against a wall, arms crossed with a proud smirk. “ya looking good there kiddo.”

“shut up.”

“nah I mean it, laser to the back, most people would have thrown up from the pain. I know I would have.” 

“thanks…. I guess.” Greedily she chugged the bottle of water. 

That was a good sign, or at least I told myself that. “think you’re up to talking about our next move?”

Once the bottle was empty she dropped it and met my gaze. “I guess it’s too much to hope that we can all just take a vacation is it?”

“unless you want to take a vacation underground, no.”

“then yeah.” Elbows on her knees, she leaned over. Every move made her wince visibly. “let’s talk.”

“Irma filled me in a little.” John spoke first, now eyeing me like I’d pulled something incredibly insane. “you two are hunting Samuel Hintzen? The Samuel Hintzen? Now I thought you were too much of a do-gooder for your own good but this? you’re out of your god damn minds.” 

“don’t tell me you want him walking free. He was the one behind No-Nose ya know.” I jabbed a finger at him.

“and he was the one behind that… thing right?” he didn’t have to say anymore than that, not in front of Gray. I knew what he meant.

“exactly.” 

“then I guess I got no choice but to put him in the ground.” That matter-of-fact tone didn’t quite do the gravity of the statement justice. 

“we didn’t want to involve you.” Gray murmured at the floor. It probably hurt too much to crane her neck back to look at him. “that’s why we didn’t tell you about No-Nose in the first place.” 

“I don’t think that’s gonna work anymore.” I shook my head.

“damn straight it ain’t gonna work. after all the shit Hintzen’s done to Goodneighbor, as her mayor I’m not about to sit by.” For a second there it sounded like John was going to slip into one of his mayoral speeches. Gray would have cut him off first probably. 

“besides the fact that I can’t stop you from doing what you do John. Doing this alone… it wasn’t a smart move.” It almost pained me to admit it too. protecting everyone, protecting Gray, had been the biggest thing on my mind. That put me and the rest of them at a disadvantage. “if I had read all of you in on this months ago this might not have happened. We could be closer to Hintzen not further.”

“What are you saying?” at her voice, I looked up to Mags. That look border-lined the I told you so look. 

“I’m saying that we need to work together from now on. If we stand a chance of finishing Hintzen before he finishes us, it’s together.” 

A thick silence followed. Come on guys it wasn’t meant to be that dramatic. Gray tilted her head just enough to see me out of the corner of her eye. she was smiling. “so this is it huh? We’re finally going after that bastard?”

“seems that way.”

“what about Violet and Macready?” Mags questioned from the dresser where she leaned. “they have as much right to be here as any of the rest of us. Especially after what Virgil did to their family.” 

“I’ll ask her, but I doubt she’ll want to get involved because of what Virgil did. And none of us can blame her for it.” if I were in her position I’d be steering as clear of Hintzen as I could. Having Gray was one thing, having kids to take care of was an entirely other thing. “lets assume she won’t want to get involved. What’s our next move?”

“Irma’s gotten us far on her own.” Mags offered in a cool tone. “we know who’s in Hintzen’s network now.”

“except the big one.” Gray tried to sit up while her wounds stretched. Face twisted she settled back down. “the Triggermen.”

“we haven’t seen any evidence that Hintzen is supplying Darla.” Sitting on the bed I eased her to lie back down. she looked so exhausted I expected she’d pass out here soon. 

“we have.” while she let me put her back to bed she kept talking. 

“why were you even tracking Triggermen?”

“Marowski’s been kidnapped by Darla.” John answered while he took up a position next to Mags against the wall. “I hired Vel to help me track him down. We were following Triggermen when that scumbag David showed up and told them to hit you and Irma.” 

“David?” Mags tilted her head.

“you remember him, David used to lick Vic’s boots back in the day. He’s on the verge of going feral from what I’ve seen.”

“does he have glowing eyes then?”

“that’s him.”

I slammed my fist against the wall, making everyone jump. Gray gave a cry of pain when she jerked. “sorry, sorry.”

“why?” she groaned, her eyes started fluttering. 

“David met with Irma in place of Jimmy, sorry Murtagh.” My eyes strayed up to Mags who was scowling. “it looks like David is a lot more involved with this than we thought.”

“he won’t be an easy ghoul to find.” John grumbled at the floor. “he knows more holes and sewers to crawl into than I do. And I used to do that for fun.” 

“either way, he’s our best lead to follow.” The tension in my shoulders was easing. Finally, it wasn’t just me and Mags on the case, we had a team. Even if putting the others on the line didn’t sit right with me, I needed the help. this didn’t seem nearly as daunting anymore. “John, do you think you and Mags can handle finding David?”

“not to be a pain in the ass, what about Marowski?” to my surprise it was Mags of all people that expressed concern for the drug king pin. “we can’t leave him to Darla. We can’t abandon him to deal with Hintzen.” 

I gritted my teeth. She wasn’t wrong, but my priority was Jimmy. If we got our hands on him, we’d be one step closer to Hintzen. And time was running out. Jimmy was clearly onto us. If we stood a chance we needed to move quickly. Except we couldn’t. my eyes strayed down to Gray who was slipping back to sleep fairly rapidly. It would be at least a week before she recovered. I could continue the investigation without her, she’d be furious with me. and I loathed to leave her side now. 

“David knows more than I thought, it’s entirely possible he knows where Marowski is being kept.” 

“how do you know?” Mags pressed harder, a little angry. Her blue eyes were on fire, daring me to argue with her. “if we leave Darla alone, she will take control of the commonwealth. She’s got the equipment, the manpower, the caps. Now she’ll have control of the chem market.” 

“and she’s dangerous to you Nick.” Gray murmured sleepily.

Chuckling Mags smiled down at her. “go to sleep hon.”

Gray sat up a little on her elbow to keep talking. Stubborn woman wouldn’t go to sleep until this conversation was over. “Darla is going to make dealing with Jimmy-was it?- difficult if she doesn’t stop trying to kill you. and if she is in contact with Jimmy we may get more out of her about him than David.” 

“that’s surprisingly coherent for you.” kneeling down beside her I ran my fingers through her hair. 

“shut up.” Mumbling her eyes closed for the last time. “just promise you won’t do this without me….” 

With a heavy sigh I kissed her on the temple. “I promise Gray, I won’t do anything without you.”

“thank you….” the words had to force their way out of her tired lips. Under my fingers I could feel her breathing already beginning to slow. 

“if you die.” John’s grumbling voice brought my gaze up to him. he was glowering down at me like I’d just done the worst thing imaginable. Curiously I rose to face him. “if you die and leave her alone, I’m gonna figure a way to bring your rusted ass back and kill you all over again, ya got me?”

“I don’t have any intention of dying John.” 

“that look says otherwise.” 

What was the point in arguing with that? Likely as not, we’d all die doing this. we weren’t all going to make it out of this. there was going to be blood. there was going to be pain. There would be screams and someone, at least one person, was going to die before this was over. It could be me. could be him. could be Mags or Gray. Gray had already almost died once. It scared me, and I wanted to convince her to leave this alone. But I needed her. The same way I needed the others. I couldn’t do this alone. That’d been my problem all these years. Hintzen was just too big to kill alone. 

“don’t worry Hancock, I’ll be right there with you if he gets himself killed.” Mags thrust off the dresser and led the way back into the office proper. We followed her, leaving Gray to rest in peace. When we were all besides the desks she turned, arms folded. “alright, Hancock you know David better than I do, have you got some ideas where to start?”

“some, there’s a chem den out by Bunker Hill I know he frequents. We can kick some doors down there for a start.” He actually sounded more excited by the prospect of kicking doors in than anything else so far. “been waiting for an excuse to beat the shit out of David for a while.”

“well, now’s your chance.” furtively I glanced over my shoulder back down the hall toward the bedrooms. “I’d go with you but I uh… don’t want to leave her alone.”

“nah, stay here, keep an eye on her. If someone doesn’t make her rest she’s gonna be out the door as soon as she can stand without passing out.” Hancock burst into loud laughter. 

To which groans issued down the hall. 

“if we head up toward Sanctuary we’ll stop and talk to the Macreadys.” While she talked Mags checked the cylinder on her gun. She didn’t have much ammunition left. “they should know what’s going on even if they’re not involved.” 

I reached for my drawer and offered her a box of .44 bullets. “just be careful what you say to them. They don’t need to be involved and I don’t want to guilt trip them into anything.”

“maybe you should write a script for us or something.” John snorted like I was being unreasonable. 

“I gotta ask her a favor anyway, give me a minute to write something.” 

“I was joking.”

“I’m not.” 

“you could just tell us what you want to say to her.” Mags filled her pockets full of bullets while she grinned at me.

“this is personal.” And not something I could ask either of them to deliver. They’d just keep me from doing it. 

“and what about Irma?” John went on while he checked his shotgun for bullets too. unfortunately for him I didn’t keep shotgun ammunition lying around. “ya think she’s safe at the Dugout?”

“not sure.” Honestly I shrugged. Her safety hadn’t exactly been on the fore front of my mind when we ran back to the city. “Zoon isn’t gonna let anyone near her and we could convince him to lock her in for a fee. It’s not a long term solution.”

“what about Goodneighbor? It’s safer than this dump.” He gestured around the office. I knew he meant Diamond city, but some part of me interpreted that as insulting my agency. 

“no, Hintzen might give Diamond City some respect, I doubt that’ll last with Goodneighbor. We need a better place to stash her until we’re finished.” And no matter where I thought of the likelihood that Hintzen knew about it was too high. We needed a place that I’d never thought of before, that I’d never even been to. 

“the glowing sea?” John murmured with zero conviction. 

“what about vault 81?” Mags tried. 

“I’m not getting Vault 81 involved, they’ve got their own troubles.” A thought then occurred to me. “Mags… if I gave you a location would you run a sweep, see how secure and safe it is?”

Her head tilted a little. “yeah, where are you sending me?”

“somewhere out in south Boston. With luck… the place will still be standing.” Although 200 years was a long time. In all likelihood it wasn’t there anymore. I’d always had the address memorized. I knew what it looked like before the bombs fell. Up until now, I’d never had the courage to see what was left of it. the fact that I’d never been there in my life meant that it was the perfect place to stash Irma. Hintzen wouldn’t see it coming. 

“alright, we’ll do it. you stay here make sure Gray heals up. When we find David or get word back from Macready and Violet, we’ll let you know.” With her pockets full of bullets and a hard face she rose. That could almost have been a line in one of her songs. 

John shoved away from the desk, hobbling toward the door. I made no comment on the leg. He’d probably shoot me for pointing it out. Probably take even less kindly to it seeing as I knew what happened to him. “come on Magnolia, my trigger finger’s itchy.”

“I’m not sure I want to travel with you if that’s the case.” Smiling to herself, Mags followed him to the door. when he was gone she looked back at me. “I told you so.”

I rolled my eyes. “yeah, yeah, you were right. I needed her.” 

Satisfied she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to post this, work has been keeping me down lately and i started a new story on the side to distract me from things. it's a very efficient distraction. hope you're all enjoying this. personally i prefer Vel and Nick actually working together than them alone. ironic how often i pull them apart. one note, yes, i know Mags has a component. but in game that either means she's an agent of the institute, or somehow it's defective(i find this unlikely just based on what we know about the institute) or else they'd have brought her in already. So i'm going with this logic of no component at all. 
> 
> anyway, see you all next week, write on!


	11. How Do You Want It?

A week. An entire fucking week! It had been years since I was put out of commission that long! Least of all at a time like this! the last time I’d been stuck in bed was when Sun had put the finishing touches on my left hand and even then I’d been out of bed almost the next day. The burn was such a pain in the ass. Or rather a pain in the neck and back. 

I couldn’t complain that much. For the first time in what felt like months there was no longer a shadow hanging over me and Nick. Since we cleared the air about Mags, about what I was doing with Hancock, we weren’t keeping secrets anymore. At least the important ones. No more beating around the bush, no more subtle jabs, no more pretending everything was alright. Because in spite of the burn, in spite of the danger we faced, we were facing it together, and everything was alright. 

At least between us. 

By the end of the week I was ready to storm out of the agency and go hunting David, or Darla or Jimmy or hell anybody at this point. Sitting up in bed I leaned over my knees while Nick’s hands worked my skin gently. “there? that feeling any better?”

“yeah…. Thanks….” I grumbled into my crossed arms.

“I know you’re not happy about having to stay out of the fight right now. but do you honestly want a long recovery from this?” his whole hand gently worked lotion into my dry and cracked back. most of the burn was gone, leaving very little scarring thanks to the Stimpaks. There was a bandage between my shoulder blades where the skin graft was still healing. It was weird thinking how someone else was literally part of me now. even stranger to think it was Magnolia of all people.

“how’s it look back there?”

“the good news, you’ll live.”

“and the bad news.”

His chin appeared at my shoulder, his arms wrapped around my middle. These tender moments were even more frequent now than before. “the bad news is, you’ll have the urge to sing jazz songs randomly.”

“that is bad news.” Twisting in his arms I managed to give him an awkward peck on the cheek. “my voice isn’t good enough for that.”

“I think you sing just fine.” Gently he kissed my bare shoulder, the cold metal of his right hand against my arm. that felt good. 

“you’ve never heard me sing.”

“yes I have.”

“when?”

“you were drunk.”

“oh….” My face immediately started to heat.

Which he noticed. With a boisterous laugh he rose. “don’t worry Gray, you have a beautiful voice.”

“I’m gonna have to take your word for it.” while he wiped his hands off I carefully inched a tank top around my shoulders. Times like these I had to admit, having small breasts was kind of convenient. At least I wouldn’t give myself a black eye running around the commonwealth without a bra. 

Loud banging came from the front door to the agency. Nick swore quietly under his breath. “the sign is off, don’t they know I’m not taking cases right now?”

“you know how people are.” Half heartedly I shrugged. “go see what they want. Or they’ll camp out on doorstep like that drifter did that one time.”

“don’t remind me.” 

I watched Nick go with my eyes before forcing myself to stand with a groan. A week of bed rest, with Nick keeping me from walking much, didn’t do anything for my muscles. Stiffly I walked to the corner of the room where my coat lay with Nick’s. it smelled like burned flesh and charred leather. Grimacing I picked it up to examine it. there was now a massive burned hole in the center of the back. even if I wanted to I doubt I could fix this. Shame too. I’d had this coat for god knew how long. 

Resigned, I tossed it aside and examined Nick’s trench coat next. It wasn’t so bad, not great. It smelled just as bad. There were patches burned all the way through and some singeing around that. I could probably fix that. Although it was about damn time that I got him a new one. I’d been on the look out for weeks now. no luck yet. 

“I’m not sure she needs your company right now.” Nick’s voice floated down the hall from the front. Recognized that tone. There was only one person he reserved that mix of parental disapproval and disgust for. 

Smiling to myself I walked down the hall.

Sure enough in the doorway stood Photon, looking remarkably grumpy. For a second his disgruntled look slipped when he saw me. giving way to absolute concern. “hey, O'Malley didn’t know you were walkin around.”

“she shouldn’t be.” Nick eyed me with a half grin.

Casually I crossed my arms to lean against Nick’s desk. It stretched the skin on my back uncomfortably. Hoped that wouldn’t last forever. “what are you doing here Photon? Thought you’d be lying low after getting your ass kidnapped by Atwood.” 

The concern fled faster than a Molerat in the face of a Deathclaw. “at least I wasn’t standing out in the open to get shot.”

“at least no one tied me up and tossed me into a cage.” 

“only cause Valentine was around!”

“and you’re only alive because we were around.” 

He groaned in frustration, hands in the air.

Couldn’t hide the smile even if I wanted to. So instead I waved it aside. “so what brings you to your least favorite settlement in the commonwealth?”

“I never said it was my least favorite, I only said I wish they’d make things a challenge.” He rolled his eyes so dramatically I wouldn’t be surprised if he lost his eyes.

Nick groaned while he trudged by to his squeaky desk chair. “and by things, I suppose you mean stealing.”

“didn’t say that Valentine.” Although the spark in his eye certainly did. Before Nick could launch into one of his obligatory lectures for the kid, Photon produced a package. “the mad scientist sent me. She got word about what happened to you and whipped this thing up.” 

Uh oh. What kind of mad scheme had the scientist brewed now? Some small part of my brain must have thought it was a bomb because I oh so carefully pulled open the bag. Out came a dark blue denim jacket. Stiffly it tumbled out, like it was made of real leather. With it came a note, scrawled in tight jagged handwriting that could only belong to Ellison. 

_I don’t trust this imbecile to deliver the proper explanation so was forced to write it down myself._

_You’re thinking right now, wow Ellison what a COOL jacket. Well it isn’t just a COOL jacket!_

“I wasn’t thinking that.” I mumbled half heartedly. Nick shuffled up beside me to peer at the note too. he chuckled when he read that last part.

_It’s specially treated denim which makes it fire resistant and laser resistant. It should also work as a good insulator for when the temperature drops below five degrees Celsius._

“what the hell is Celsius?”

“never you mind Gray.”

_I do not recommend wearing it in extreme heat. Furthermore, I’ve added a ballistic weave lining that should help give you some protection against bullets. Note, this is not a bullet proof vest. If you want a bullet proof vest I can make you one. Although it must be said that bullet proof is a misnomer. There is no such thing as bullet proof unless-_

I stopped reading at that point. The message went on for a couple more pages and looked to launch into some kind of technical jargon I didn’t have the heart to face. Instead I admired my _cool_ new jacket. “damn, wish I’d thought of this before the laser.” 

“she’s also taking care of your hound.” Photon grumbled at the wall just over my shoulder. 

“ah shit, I forgot about Gracie….” I was just about to throw on the jacket but I paused with a groan.

“she’ll be fine.” Gently Nick helped me slip the new jacket on. It fit better than I thought. If I didn’t know any better I’d say Ellison was a tailor. Little tight around the collar for my liking but with it popped I could cover my neck too. while I adjusted the cuffs Nick stepped back to admire it with a crooked grin. “all in all, not bad. Suits you. Better than that old ratted thing you were wearing.” 

“didn’t know you had such a problem with my coat.” Suddenly the denim jacket didn’t fit quite as well or look quite as good as before.

“it was old, it needed a good wash, and you’re a good enough seamstress I don’t get why you hadn’t fixed it.” while he insulted my life long choice of apparel, he took a seat back at his desk. 

“that coat was my favorite.” 

“it was your only coat.” He answered.

“which was why it was my favorite.” 

“will you two just make out and get it over with instead of torturing me with your damn banter?!” Photon cried at the ceiling with his hands over his ears. “seriously! This is killing me! do you two ever stop ogling each other?”

“I’m going to remember this when you come to me for girl advice.” Leaning his chin in his hand Nick smirked at Photon.

“like that’s gonna happen.”

“on a serious note.” I looked at Photon in the eye, smiling genuinely. “thanks for the delivery. Tell Ellison she’s outdone herself.”

“you two can’t get on without any of us can you?” Photon chuckled, returning to his usual jabbing once again. “if it weren’t for me Scott and Ellison you two would be dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“that’s not true.” I protested.

Nick though laughed. “you’re probably right, at least as far as Ellison is concerned.” 

“of course I’m right.” with a smirk more cocky than a brotherhood of steel type, he strode toward the door. which really amounted to two steps and he was there. “I’ll see you later. Whatever you’re up to, don’t get dead doing it alright?”

“your concern is overwhelming.” Nick grumbled after him.

Photon just tossed the middle finger before leaving out the front door. 

I couldn’t help but admire the jacket a little more. As stiff as it was, it probably meant that Ellison had done a good job of things. Probably be a good idea to test it, without being in the thing. Too bad I didn’t have a laser rifle around to do it with. It would have to do I supposed. “maybe she could make a new trench coat for you.” 

Nick’s gaze flickered to me form the desk. “I was kind of hoping you could fix the one I’ve got….” 

Laughing I leaned over his back and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m good Nick, but I’m not that good. We’re never gonna get the smell out of it.”

“damn….”

“just gonna have to find you one. Maybe Becky has some ideas where we can get one.”

“it took me months to find that one to begin with.” Dejectedly he slouched over his desk. Reminding me pointedly of Danny when his mother wouldn’t let him have more than one piece of candy. 

My eyes softened like they only ever did for him. “don’t worry detective, you’ll get a trench coat back, I promise. When this is over.”

And things were only about to heat up.

The door swung open, only instead of Photon, it was Magnolia. She stopped just inside when she noticed me. Her face lit up with relief. “it’s good to see you up and around! How’re you feeling?”

“stiff, but better. How’s the arm?”

She flexed it experimentally. “stings a bit, mostly healed though. Thanks.”

“I should be thanking you, I wouldn’t have recovered this fast without you.” I’d started adopting this weirdly polite attitude toward her. Up until a week ago I thought she’d been having an affair with Nick after all. Some small part of me still suspected she had feelings toward him. Needless to say, I was protective. Maybe a little jealous. The problem with that was that she’d already been good to us. Me and Nick. Holding a grudge at that point, didn’t feel right. 

So I tried just to be formal. At least until I figured out how I should act toward her. Didn’t really matter to me that she was a synth either. Or that she knew I was one. And she hadn’t taken offence to it. She smiled gently with a nod. “don’t worry about it, I’m just happy you’re back on your feet.”

“anything to report?” Nick leaned back in his chair.

Back to business then. Magnolia’s face went serious when the glanced his direction. “we found David. He’s locked himself in Union Hope Cathedral. Hancock is there now, making sure he can’t leave.”

“that’s really close to the CIT crater….” The bottom of my stomach hollowed out. “is he sure he should be that close to it?”

“I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn’t listen. If we hurry he’ll have only spent a few minutes in it.” she looked as worried as I felt. Hancock had been lucky the radiation hadn’t done to him what it had already done to so many ghouls in the ruins. Hated to think of him going feral now. 

Nick got to his feet, shoving his revolver into the holster under his arm. Without his trench coat he couldn’t hide the shoulder holster or his gun. Not that I minded. The white shirt, ragged tie and leather holster was actually kind of a turn on. “then lets not waste any time. Gray how do you feel about traveling?”

“I can manage.”

“the fastest way will be right on the edge of the crater.” Magnolia made a face somewhere between fear and disgust. 

“I don’t want to leave John in that any longer than we have to. I can go through if you two want to go around.”

“no, we’ll go with you.” to make my determination clear I swung on my hip holster, tying it off on my leg. 

Astonishingly Nick didn’t argue with me. After the whole, getting shot by a laser thing, I still expected him to be protective. Instead he seemed to be keeping me closer than ever. It both frightened and thrilled me. It was a change in pace for him, at least it kept him close. After we filled our pockets with bullets, we followed Magnolia up out of the city. It was a clear day, contrasting sharply with the last day I’d been outside the agency. The city was still wet, puddles going stagnate on the blacktop. The city now had a miserable dull sheen all over the top of it.

That didn’t last long. We crossed a bridge that only spanned about half way before we had to climb from car to car to get across. The whole time I was in a cold sweat, mentally willing myself not to fall in. Nick noticed. Probably cause of how pale my face went. With his strong hands wrapped around my hands he guided me the rest of the way. Magnolia didn’t say anything when we reached her on the other side.

Once we were on the other side the blue sky disappeared to be replaced by thick radioactive, green fog. Or something like that. I’d been to the glowing sea twice in my life. Once for No-Nose and a second for a kidnapping case involving the Children of Atom. Twice was more than enough to burn the place into my mind’s eye. the crater was basically a miniature version of the glowing sea. Radiation filled the place, leaking into the streets and alleys around it. a radiation storm constantly brewed over head, leaving the world a sickly green color. 

Add to that the dozens of irradiated creatures that hung around it and it was basically the worst god damn place on the planet. And it was right in our backyard. 

The Geiger counter clicked frantically long before we reached the crater proper. Inside Nick’s chest I could hear his going too. his eyes glowed a bit brighter though so I knew the radiation was doing him good. Couldn’t say the same of me and Magnolia. Silently I popped a couple Rad-X then handed the bottle to her. 

“thanks.”

“don’t mention it.” still awkward as ever.

Nick navigated us around the edge of the crater, up a street and a hill. At the top stood probably one of the biggest churches I’d ever seen. To call it a cathedral wasn’t all that exaggerated in my mind. Three stories tall, made entirely of red brick, with three steeply slanted towers. If it weren’t for the green glow washing out its color, it might have been pretty.

An ambulance sat on the steps, for some reason, and Hancock sat on its bumper, smoking a cig. His black eyes darted to us, or at least I assumed they did. Then he rose. “he’s still inside.” 

“I’m surprised you’re out here, thought you’d have gone in to deal with him yourself.” Nick commented dryly while he checked his gun for bullets. 

Hancock heaved a large shrug. “got a bad feeling about this.”

“if god didn’t smite David for walking in there, he won’t smite you.” I chuckled.

Smirking he gave me a look out from under his hat. “we’re all sinners here.” 

“alright.” Nick raised his voice interrupting what I’m sure he thought would be inexcusable banter. “how many entrances are there?”

Hancock managed to produce a serious look, in spite of the smirk that refused to go away. “there are two. Main entrance here, and another round the side in the cemetery.”

“great, cemeteries.” I growled. 

Nick’s brows drew together sympathetically before his attention went back to the problem at hand. “alright. John and Mags will take the side entrance. Gray with me on the front.”

Gratefully I sighed. “thank you.” was rapidly developing a phobia of the damn things.

“get in positions, we’ll storm the place in sixty seconds.” 

“want us to synchronize watches?” Hancock sniggered under his breath. 

Magnolia hid a laugh and I just let it out. 

Nick gave all of us a reprimanding set of glares. “get in position.”

The other two tore off around the side of the church. Thunder rumbled overhead while Nick and I took up positions on either side of the door. “what kind of resistance do you think he’s going to put up?” 

“don’t know.” He murmured, hand on the doorknob. “he works for Hintzen though. if experience has taught us anything, people that work for him don’t last long. Or they’re loyal to the grave.”

“which do you think he is?”

“we’ll find out.” 

Nick must have been counting down the seconds in his head or something. suddenly he wrenched open the door and lead the way inside. With our guns up we surged through the dust filled gloom. Snarls split the air. Before my eyes adjusted a ghoul shot out of the dark at us. Nick put three tightly grouped bullets into its face. another one leapt at us from the right. I swung my left fist into its face. pain split up my arm so bad I bucked, falling to a knee. Nick came up behind me to finish the ghoul. 

“gray!”

“I’m fine! I’m fine! Look out!” as I pulled my gun, he ducked. The ghoul that had been about to bite him went down in a bloody mess. 

Down on a knee Nick swung to face the rest of the church. By this time my eyes had finally adjusted. It was long and filled with rubble. Most of the entrances were blocked. The only thing intact was the pulpit at the very back. three more ghouls charged us, dodging and weaving, effectively making Nick miss his every shot. 

One handed I fired into them. My shots sucked, not without steadying my gun with the other hand. one caught a bullet in the leg which brought it down. the other two were nearly on us. Then the door on the side burst open. Hancock ran in, snarling like a feral himself. His shotgun blew apart one ghoul’s head. Magnolia was right behind him, her massive magnum blew a golf ball sized hole in its chest. 

It was over as fast as it started. Wincing at the ache in my left hand I stood. Hancock gave me and Nick a smirk. “you two can’t do anything without me.”

“you were late.” Nick replied.

“should have synchronized watches.”

Exasperatedly Nick groaned. 

Magnolia and I weren’t paying attention. there was still one more person alive in here. Carefully we approached the dais. There was David, leaning up against the back wall of the church, head forward. At his feet lay a ghoul. He wore priest clothes. Bloodied as they were by the gaping hole in his throat. it was so quiet, our footsteps barely made any sound. Magnolia’s gun dropped first. “my god….”

“you’re here to kill me right?” David rasped out in his heavily accented voice. He was defeated. “just get on with it.”

Nick and Hancock came to stand behind us, solemnly staring down at the scene. Hancock’s gaze remained on the dead ghoul, grimacing. “Gabe…. Crazy bastard. Did his feral flock finally get tired of his sermons?” 

“could say that.” his head snapped up, showing us those glowing near feral eyes. and the blood on his chin and mouth. We all took an involuntarily step back. to which he smirked bitterly. “that’s right, back the hell up. Could snap again any moment. Did it to Gabe, could do it to you.”

Nick and I exchanged looks. This wasn’t what we’d been expecting to see. Neither one of us were sure how to approach it.

Thankfully Hancock took control of the conversation. “ya killed him. lost it did ya? Surprised you didn’t lose it before.” 

David’s gaze slid slowly down to the body of his fellow ghoul. His friend I realized. That was the look of a man that had killed his best friend. God. What must that feel like? “we’re all losing it ain’t we? You, me, Gabe, Daisy, we’re all runnin on a clock.”

“don’t lump us in with you David, you’re not worth it.” 

Bitterly he chuckled at Gabe’s dead body. “yeah, you’re right bout that.” 

“tell us what you know about Hintzen.” Nick demanded in a hard tone. It was a show. The look in his eyes showed how much sympathy he had for the ghoul. This was an impossible situation. 

“Hintzen? Nothin. Believe me I was lookin for it.” he drew a hand over his face. “that bastard promised me a cure. He said that he could fix me.”

“and you believed him?!” Hancock’s laugh wasn’t his usual. It was so bitter I’d almost call it venomous. He leaned his head back, barking at the ceiling. “there isn’t a cure you dumb fuck! Of course there’s not a cure! The hell makes ya think there is?”

“didn’t think there was one, I hoped there was….” David looked Hancock dead in the eye. those glowing irises were even more unnerving than Hancock’s black ones. “look me in the eye John and tell me you ain’t hopin there’s a cure out there. Don't you want to see Boss again?”

Boss?

Hancock’s face stiffened. Every muscle left alive in his face drew taught like he was in pain. Tiny emotions flickered over his face, too fast for me to place. Eventually his expression settled on furious. Teeth bared he grabbed David by the collar, hauling him to his feet. “don’t talk about what you don’t know.”

David had his hands up in a gesture of peace. “sorry brother, didn’t mean to bring her up.”

“of course you meant to bring her up!” Hancock snarled.

“John, stand down.” Nick half raised his hand, like he might reach for Hancock’s shoulder. he didn’t quite make it all the way there. did he know something about this Bos? I’d never heard of her, Hancock had never said anything. 

The hand around David’s collar shook badly. Hancock wasn’t even looking at him, his eyes were half closed, glaring at a point just over his shoulder. “there isn’t a cure…. You’re as fucked as I am….”

David’s head fell forward. “yeah….” 

“what happened?” Magnolia asked gently. Probably the only person physically capable of showing him sympathy. I certainly didn’t care. He’d forfeited his right to mercy when he tried to kill Nick. 

While Hancock still held him, David slid his eyes over to her. “Gabe and me have been friends a long time. Before I started working for Vic back in the day. I just lost it… blacked out and everything. when I woke up I had his throat in my mouth.”

“damn….” Nick murmured.

Slowly but surely Hancock released David. His shoulders were so stiff you could cut something on them. “that’s your fault. you’re already half gone, anybody can see it.” 

He slouched under his own weight, eyes set firmly on the body of his friend. “I thought Jimmy and Sammy could cure me before it happened. Turns out I was wrong. He don’t give a rats ass about me. there ain’t no cure, and if there was he’d never give it to me.”

“there is no cure.” Hancock seethed.

“what did Hintzen and Jimmy hire you for?” to my surprise Nick actually adopted a softer tone. This guy had almost got him and me killed. No one would blame Nick for being furious. 

“guess there ain’t no point sitting here tryin to protect em.” With a heavy thud he sat back down on the dusty floor. From a pocket he produced a flask. “I had connections with the Triggermen and Darla. Jimmy got me involved to keep an eye on her and the gang, and to run messages back and forth.”

“spying on the Triggermen.” 

“suppose so. Didn’t think of it as spyin at the time.” He kicked back a long draft of whatever was in that flask. By the sound of it, it was nearly empty already. “point is I know more than you’ll ever want to know about Darla. For instance I know she nabbed poor old Marowski a while back.”

Magnolia took a sharp breath. “is he alive?”

“last I saw. Alive but in pieces.” He let his flask fall to the floor with a dull empty clatter. The wasteland’s equivalent of a bell tolling. “she’s got him locked up at her base, in that Haymarket Mall building. That’s where she and her gang like to hold up.” 

“right in Goodneighbor’s backyard.” Hancock snarled. “why am I not surprised?”

“we should move out, don’t give Darla any time to shore up her defenses.” I added.

David’s eyes landed on me, giving me an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. wasn’t used to seeing intelligence in eyes like those. “stormin the front gate is just gonna get ya’ll killed. She’s got turrets littered through the whole building and enough guns to tear you up. Your better bet is to go through the garage entrance off Congress Street. There’s a terminal in the service tunnels that control the security system. If ya’ll are smart enough you could turn her own defenses against her.”

Nick and I exchanged looks. It sounded like a good plan. Almost too good. Could we trust David? Sure he seemed like he was finished with Hintzen. In fact there was a lot of things he seemed to be finished with. Eventually I broke eye contact with Nick to frown at the ghoul. “why tell us all of this? you’re betraying your employers, how do we know we can trust your information?”

“trust it, or don’t, it makes no matter to me.” with his arms draped over his knees he let his head fall back against the wall behind him. “ya got two options, go in through the front for one hell of a fight, or take my word and maybe make it easier on yourselves. I don’t give a damn what you do. I’d just like to know somebody’s gonna stick it to that asshole.”

Revenge was a powerful motivator, Nick and I knew that from experience. In the very least we could trust that much. So with a breath I looked back to the detective. “suppose we should get a move on then.”

“sounds good.” We all four turned to leave.

“hey! Wait up a sec!” 

When we looked back David was on his feet again, the body of Gabe behind him. his hands were splayed pleadingly, face twisted up in an ungodly amount of pain. “John, I’m askin ya, ghoul to ghoul, do me one favor.” 

Slowly Hancock pivoted until he only half faced the ghoul. That look was inscrutable. I bet he knew what he was about to ask.

“I don’t wanna go feral. That’s a nightmare right there. you know what I mean. I’m on the edge here John. I ain’t got much time left. Before I go, I wanna go out on my terms. Ya know what I’m askin right? I’d do the same for you, I’d do the same for any ghoul that asked. Will ya help me?”

“why should I help you?” Hancock’s voice went so low, so angry, it was barely above a whisper. “you almost got my kid killed. What gives you the right to ask me to do anything for you?”

David’s face fell. “I know I ain’t got the right…. but ya’ll came here to kill me anyway. and I can’t do it myself. So please, brother, put me down.”

I took an involuntarily step back. I’d lived my whole life around ghouls, Hancock, Daisy, bunch of people in the neighborhood watch. To talk to any of them you wouldn’t think they were living with this fear over their heads. Hancock had never even talked about it. it was jarring, to see a ghoul reduced to this, begging for someone to kill him because he was terrified of going feral. It was truly his worst nightmare. 

Hancock must have felt the same way.

While his gaze remained on David he pulled his shotgun free of his belt. “things could have been different David, you didn’t have to side with Hintzen.”

“whether I did or didn’t, I’d still be goin feral right now. Gabe would still be dead.” David didn’t even look up. He stared at his hands. Like his face they were covered in blood. 

We all watched silently as Hancock stepped up in front of him, gun held loosely at his side. “how do you want it?”

“head.” Without being told David sank to his knees. There was no fight in him. there wasn’t even fear or sadness. In a strange way he looked happy. This was what he wanted I guess. 

Hancock pressed the barrel of his shotgun against David’s forehead. No one said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, i wrote David Smith as an amalgamate of some of my students that i hated at the time. I built him literally just to kill him. Then when it came time for it my writer's brain just had to go and make him super sympathetic. so here we are.
> 
> Hope you're enjoying this ride so far. i'm actually in the process of re writing some things that happen much later in the story. decided it wasn't good enough. i'll see you all next week. 
> 
> till then Write On!


	12. A Little Bit of Repeated History

We probably should have got backup for this. at least gone back to Goodneighbor to pick up some neighborhood watch and Fahrenheit. We didn’t. and the thought didn’t occur to me until we were standing inside the parking garage next to Faneuil Hall. Gray had figured out where the entrance into the mall was pretty quick. She said she’d been through here once or twice for the railroad. Because of course she had. 

Now we all stood before the door. checking guns, counting bullets. “odds aren’t in our favor.” Mags pronounced as she flicked the cylinder of her gun back into place.

“speak for yourself.” John, as usual, was brimming with cocky optimism. Still had reservations about bringing him along. His leg had slowed all of us down on the way here. How much use could he be in a fight? 

Gray didn’t seem worried. She leaned against a wall, experimentally flexing her left hand. her right remained on her gun. Not for the first time Rush’s words from so long ago came back to me. _“She ever tell you about how her wrist aches? How it burns every time she picks up her pistol?”_ was it true? “I guess we’re trusting David’s word. So what’s the plan here?”

Her words snapped me back to the present. With a shake of my head I gestured at the door. “do this quiet until I find the terminal. Once we get the mall’s defenses on our side, hopefully we won’t have to do anything till we get to Darla herself.”

“don’t forget about Marowski.” Always thinking of everyone, Mags hit me with a hard stare. “I know what your priority is here, John and I will look for Marowski.” 

“wouldn’t say Marowski is my priority either.” John grumbled at his shotgun. 

“solid plan. If we find him, you two get him out of here and to Goodneighbor. Gray and I will handle Darla. If she lets us take her alive then we’ll bring her back with us.”

“or I don’t fill her full of holes.” Gray added in a low menacing tone. 

I eyed her. There was a look there in her face. I’d wanted to ignore it but it had only gotten worse on the way here. Would she lose control again? What would happen if she lost it too many times? Could it be permanent? God I hoped Amari had some idea how to fix this. “stick together, watch each other’s backs. With luck, we’ll get out of this unscathed.”

“come on Valentine.” John laughed, waving his shotgun like he was batting aside a Bloatfly. “when has luck ever been on our side?”

“he makes a fair point.” With a kick Gray shoved off the wall then got to work on the lock. She had it open in less than a minute. 

The moment it swung open all joking disappeared. Guns up we crept carefully into the room beyond. The service tunnels smelled like stagnant water and blood. dust drifted through the air, undisturbed like no one had been this way in a century. I lead the way up a set of stairs, Gray right beside me. John and Mags took up the rear. 

Muffled voices carried down to us. Too indistinct to make out words, clear enough to know they were mostly ghouls. Well at least we were in the right place. Unless another gang had popped up that would take ghouls. I highly doubted that would ever happen. There was a reason there was only one. I turned a corner. The room beyond was a maintenance room with some machines, shelves full of junk, a terminal, and one singular Triggerman there to ruin our day.

He turned around. Because of course he turned around. And threw open his mouth to scream. Because of course he did. Gray ran forward. I almost shouted for her to stop. That would have brought the whole building down on us. Just had to trust she knew what she was doing. Gray was the only one of us that had a silencer. Even with it, firing in this building would have alerted everyone else. She knew that. Instead she rammed her gun up against his chest, forcing him to double over. With him wrapped around her gun she fired. 

Blood and bone burst from his back, splattering the opposite wall. The Triggerman didn’t even have time to scream. Carefully Gray lowered him to the floor. We all waited in tense silence, listening to the conversations and laughter deeper in the mall. The seconds ticked by before we all dared breathe again. Gray took a step back, her arm now drenched in blood. “well… that was exciting.”

John snickered. 

I rolled my eyes. “alright, keep watch, I’ll get to work on the terminal.”

“moment of truth.” John took up a position next to the door opposite the terminal. Looking like he’d like nothing more than to go charging into the next room. “see if David was feeding us full of bullshit.”

“I doubt he was lying.” Mags spoke from behind me, keeping watch on the way we’d come.

“ya didn’t know him like I did.”

“I knew him plenty John. He used to be a regular at the Third Rail.”

“used to be a bigger regular at the Rexford.”

“that’s a really stupid way to say that.”

“quiet!” I growled.

Gray leaned in beside me, smiling and chuckling. “don’t be so tense, we’ve all done this before. we’re going to be fine.” 

I doubt we’d all stormed a Triggermen stronghold. In fact of the four of us, I was the only one that had. And that had ended in disaster. If it weren’t for the kid who knows what would have happened to me. never did thank her properly for pulling me out of that vault. The odds weren’t in our favor, but at least they were better odds than back then. And hopefully I was about to level the playing field. 

The usual security measures were in place on the terminal, with some added spice. The moment I saw it I took a seat. 

“That bad?” Gray grimaced.

“keep an eye on the door.”

She did as I asked, for once not arguing. There was definitely something under all the original code. It was sophisticated too. you were used to seeing pretty rudimentary computer programming in the wasteland. Most people didn’t bother changing anything on the original prewar designs. Those that did, weren’t efficient. Their programs were clunky. That’s what you were going to get when all the best reference text books were burning on the shelves. This wasn’t like that. It had the taste of the Institute. Familiar lines of code, extremely familiar base architecture. Like mine. 

It made no sense how Darla had gotten the code. So it had to have come from Hintzen. Although how he got his hands on Institute level programs I didn’t know. Hintzen was doing a lot more than just supplying Darla with guns and money. He was really putting all his eggs into one basket. It made me wonder why. Darla was an odd choice of ally to bankroll. Although granted he didn’t have a good choice. The Gunners were in ruins, the rest of the raider gangs were too small to even talk about. Even though he had Diamond City in his back pocket, they weren’t the type of settlement to go to war. Darla wasn’t a good choice, just the lesser of evils.

If taking her down would put a dent in Hintzen’s operations, then I’d gladly go to war.

“Nick hurry up.” Gray hissed at me.

“what?”

She jabbed a finger toward the door.

“hey! Jackson! Ya in there?! What’s takin ya so long?!” Footsteps came walking toward the doorway.

Jaw set I typed a little faster. 

John drew up his shotgun. Mags shuffled around the desk, her gun pointed at the doorway. Gray did the same, face set. The footsteps got closer. The damn terminal wouldn’t cooperate. Everything I tried it rejected. Damn you Hintzen. How’d you get a hold of Institute tech? 

Access denied.

A ghoul stepped around the corner. He had a split second to look at us before John opened fire. One pull of the trigger. The Triggerman’s chest was reduced to ground meat. He toppled backward into the wall. People started yelling deeper inside. “Hancock! Step back!” Gray yelled.

He refused to. 

Access denied. Damn it.

A dozen or more sets of footsteps pounded toward us. They were yelling, barking orders. I tried to ignore them. I needed to focus on the terminal. If I didn’t get through this damn thing it would be over. Guns started firing. Chunks of the doorway splintered off. John dropped to a knee, still standing directly beside the door. Gray side stepped, firing through the door. for a split second the gun shots stopped, then started back up in earnest. 

Access denied. One attempt remaining.

Hancock leaned out of the doorway. He got off both of his shots before a bullet scraped against his shoulder. blood immediately started oozing through his coat. Swearing he retreated. Gray ran to his side. Don’t do that! Don’t put yourself in the line of fire! She had him by the arm, trying to haul him back. her back to the doorway. A triggerman swung around into sight. 

“gray!”

Access granted. I frantically typed in a reset command for the turrets. Outside they powered up and immediately started to fire. The Triggerman, that had been about to shoot Gray, went down in a bloody mist. She and John hit the deck. Outside Triggermen screamed in agony while their own defenses turned on them. A few came racing around the corner, trying to escape the turrets. Mags and I gunned them down the moment they appeared. For several minutes we listened to the groans, screams and dying words of the Triggermen. 

John got up off the floor, hand on his bleeding shoulder. Gray looked up to me. her face was pale. I knew what she felt. Listening to people die was almost worse than doing it yourself. Eventually the screams did stop, the turrets powered down and silence fell on the mall. Numbly I turned back to the terminal to power the turrets down. 

“that could have gone worse.” John commented. 

“it’s not over yet. There should be an elevator to the upper floors.” In a corner Mags reloaded her revolver. 

Didn’t even need to give orders this time. John squelched he way around the bodies in the doorway. The rest of us followed. Mags coughed violently the moment we stepped into the main room. it was bad, and that was coming from me. 

the turrets had been equipped with lasers I guess. Fires dotted the mall, scorch marks littered every available space. Then there were the bodies. Good god. It was a vivid and all together terrible glimpse into what could have happened to Gray at the cemetery. They were mounds of puckered putrid flesh. Boils swelled where the lasers had struck them. Those that had faces were twisted in agony. Some had exploded from their insides getting boiled at a couple hundred degrees Fahrenheit. And the smell….

“can we hurry up?” Gray had a sleeve over her mouth and nose, looking even worse off than before. 

The only person that seemed unaffected was John. He strode right passed the gore and blood toward the stairs up. The room was practically stifling with all the fires going. Add to that the smell of a dozen Triggermen rotting in their suits it was unbreathable. Mags and Gray picked up the pace to follow John to the upper floor where they found a working elevator. We all piled in before the smell could seep into our clothes. 

We stood awkwardly in a square. The melodramatic sound of a piano played over our heads. What was with the obsession of putting music in these things? Lucky me most of the elevators in the commonwealth lacked it. at least play something good. 

John shot glares around the elevator which drew Gray’s attention. “what are you doing?”

“I’m going to shoot that speaker.” 

“if you can find it.” Mags chuckled.

At last the elevator stopped moving. And bullets started to ping off the metal on the other side of the doors. We smashed ourselves against the sides of the elevator. Wasn’t long before bullets broke through the doors. Shrapnel and sparks filled the tiny metal box. “Hancock! Shotgun!” 

He didn’t need telling twice. Throwing all caution to the wind he stepped up and fired both of his rounds into the door. there were screams on the other side. For a few valuable seconds the firing stopped. Gray and I pulled the doors open just enough to let Mags fire through the crack. There was one more scream. “they’re in retreat.” Mags called.

“move now! stick close together!” with one last tug Gray and I opened the elevator doors. It spat us into some kind of waiting room, with a couch and lamp illuminating the torn wallpaper and dirty carpet. There were already two bodies on the ground just in front of the doors. 

“they’re inside!”

“go warn the boss!”

“quick someone get those Protectrons running!”

The space was too tight, too many ways to go. Without even thinking about it we split up into pairs. Gray and I split left, Mags and John right. we tore down a dark hall to a doorway that opened into an office space. There were still desks and filing cabinets, some toppled over. Among them were the Triggermen, looking frantic to say the least. Before they noticed us we opened fire. Gray and I got one each before they finally spotted us. 

One of them fired a laser which hit Gray square in the shoulder. she grunted, nothing else happened. Guess that jacket really did do the trick. The Triggerman that fired was so surprised by the lack of death it gave her enough time to stalk right up to him. she swung and smashed her Pipboy hard into his face. he staggered falling prone across a desk. 

There were maybe ten or so Triggermen in the room, half of which were fighting with Mags and John on the other side. Some of the Triggermen were already in full retreat to the back rooms. At least I thought it was retreat. With a jolt I realized they weren’t retreating, they were regrouping around the Protectron pods. If they got that thing up and running our odds would plummet fast. 

Gray finished her Triggerman with a single bullet. 

I strode up to her side, reloading as I went. “Protectron.”

She looked over her shoulder and nodded. “together.” 

Just like back at the cemetery we tag teamed it across the room. by this time John and Mags had joined our fight. There wasn’t anywhere to go, barely any cover, so the Triggermen turned and fought. Only one of them worked at the terminal to power up the Protectron. Gray and I rounded a hole in the wall. A Triggerman punched her square in the jaw. She stumbled. Before he could get in another hit I grabbed his arm tight in my left hand. bone snapped under the force of my grip. He screamed. 

While he screamed I swung him around to Gray who stood waiting. She caught him on the barrel of his gun and blew his stomach out. The next Triggerman to come at us got my fist to his face. blood spurted when my metal fingers cut through his cheek. While he bucked, stunned, Gray finished him off with a bullet. 

The crowd was beginning to thin. I took the risk of stepping out, firing as I went. One Triggerman went down when I blew open his knee. Another went down beside me shot by who knew who. The Protectron was booting up. From here I could see the status bar on the screen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mags racing forward. So I grabbed the Triggerman at the terminal by the neck. He didn’t stand a chance. had him in a sleeper hold before he even started to struggle. I tugged him away from the keyboard. Mags doubled over, typing quickly to cancel the boot up. 

In my arms the Triggerman was already going limp. The terminal went back to the options menu for the Protectron. Neither of the Protectrons woke up. John fired one last time into the ribcage of a Triggermen, after that, silence fell. The other three were panting. Mags now sported a bruised cheek and a black eye. John looked fine, besides the blood on his shoulder. Gray stepped through the hole in the wall, grinning in spite of the bruise now purpling on her jaw. “we should have done this years ago.”

“what? Take down an entire criminal organization in less than an hour?” finally the Triggerman in my hands went totally limp. Unceremoniously I dropped him to the floor where he lay unmoving. That wouldn’t last long, but when he woke up he was more likely to get the hell out of here. 

“yeah! This work feels good.” 

“I’m with kiddo on that one.” John sat heavily on the edge of a desk, leaning over his knees. “this is the most action I’ve seen in years.” 

“where’s Darla?” Mags asked the important questions. 

I expected her to be here. This was what David had said after all. Unless Darla had played him too. was she even that smart? In my experience no. “she’s here somewhere, you heard the Triggermen before.” 

“I saw a bit of collapsed ceiling back there, looked like it might go to the roof.” Gray jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. 

“lets go then.” I strode passed the others for the hole in the wall.

When I was about to head up the ramp Mags called out to me. “hold on! Nick come here!”

We all followed her voice into a room just off the side. What we found would have made me go cold if that were an option. Marowski was probably one of the burliest men I knew. He had the build of a boxer, which the old Nick would have been jealous of in the day. Broad shoulders, big barrel chest. Almost two weeks of captivity had taken its toll on that physique. His ribs were beginning to show under his muscles. 

He didn’t have a shirt, giving us a good view of the bruises left all over his body. Cigarette burns and whip marks too. that wasn’t even the worst of it. he was tied down to a rickety old office chair. There were a grand total of three fingers between his two hands left. Bloody stumps were badly bandaged to stop the bleeding. Deep bloody gashes ran up to his shoulders. His face was so swollen it was hard to see the man underneath. His nose looked like it had been broken then healed crooked. Judging by the swelling in his jaw they’d pulled his teeth too. 

Mags knelt at his side, looking paler than paper. “good god, Marowski? Can you hear me? are you with us?”

Slowly the old drug king pin stirred. He cracked open one eye, the most he was even capable of. “Magnolia…? The hell are….”

“keep quiet Marowski, we be the cavalry.” John leaned over him, showing such little sympathy I had to wonder if he even cared a little. 

Marowski managed to turn his head to look at the ghoul. “well… ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“can’t say the same for you.”

Under all the swelling Marowski smirked. “sorry to disappoint.”

“you boys can banter all you want, first we need to get you out of here.” Mags went to work on Marowski’s ropes. 

“the way is clear, and we’re not far from Goodneighbor. It won’t take long….” The impatience I felt wouldn’t shut up though. the right thing to do would be to get Marowski to safety first. I knew that. We were so close to Darla. She was right over our heads. If we let this opportunity go we’d be dead in the water.

“we don’t all need to go.” Mags got the ropes off then looked between us. “Me and John can get him back to Goodneighbor and you two can handle Darla.” 

“I’m not a charity case.” Marowski groaned painfully.

“we can handle Darla on our own.” Gray stepped toward the door, looking angrier than before. “she won’t be that much of a challenge. And someone needs to make sure that idiot doesn’t get dead now after we went through all the trouble to find him.”

“best plan we’ve got.” Gray and I headed out the door. “Go back through the garage, no telling what’s out the front doors.” 

“make sure you bring that bitch back alive.” John called after us while we ran for the next floor. “I got a score to settle!”

“Get in line.” We heard Marowski groan before we were out the next door into the bright day. 

The offices spat us out onto the roof of the building. A surprisingly nice garden waited for us on the other side. Someone had clearly taken the time to fix this place. The grass wasn’t quite so dead, and there were flowers planted in patches. A fountain at the center looked about half way repaired. Not bad. It’d make a nice retreat. 

If it weren’t for the gunmen swinging their barrels toward us. 

Gray dived out of the doorway, doing a spectacular tuck and roll to cover. As usual, trying to show off a little. I stayed put in the building. Carefully I peaked around the corner. There were only four Triggermen in the garden. They could have easily been the last of their kind considering we’d driven them to extinction downstairs. I didn’t relish having to kill them. Not that they gave us a choice. 

They were all using laser rifles, which ordinarily would have been too dangerous to face head on. Gray was cocky and her new jacket was going to her head. She stood in the open, grinning ear to ear while she fired into their ranks. They fired right back, good aim too. She took a laser to the chest then ducked back when a laser came for her head.

“would you be more careful?!” I shouted at her.

She looked at me. a flicker of annoyance passed over her face before it disappeared and she went sympathetic. “sorry.”

“don’t be so reckless!”

“don’t know what got into me.” 

That made two of us. Lasers bursting against my cover forced me back into the moment. I put my arm around the corner to fire blind into the garden. Judging by the cry I’d hit one, probably not fatally. When Gray popped up to fire again I ducked for the next piece of cover. Still no sign of Darla. There was a room on the other side of the garden. She could still be hiding. Coward. 

Gray put down one Triggerman before she dropped back to check her mag. “shit….”

“how much you got left?” I called while I loaded my last few bullets.

“I’ve got half a clip. Six bullets. You?”

“four.” 

“guess we should have packed more.” She let her head fall against the wall.

I smiled. “that’s what we get for being spontaneous.” 

That got her to laugh. Smiling broadly she winked at me. “or maybe we need to practice being spontaneous.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“alright Valentine! I’m here! Ya finally here to finish what you started?!” something screeched. I say something because that voice was barely even human. It sounded like a crow that had got jammed in a ghoul’s throat. 

I risked a peak around the corner. A woman that looked almost as gaunt as a ghoul stood between three Triggermen. Her sequenced dress hung loose on her shoulders, no shoes. Her hair wasn’t black anymore or soft looking. Scraggily strands of gray peppered her scalp. I guess gang life didn’t agree with her all that well. Her men were giving her a wide berth, eyeing the weapon in her hands.

Darla had upgraded from her little wood bat she’d beat me with before. she’d decided to switch it for a sledge hammer. With some rockets. And a Tesla coil on the front. Overkill isn’t a word in the commonwealth. 

“ya look like you could use a vacation doll!” I laughed outright. 

“I’ll take a vacation when you and that bitch is in the ground!” she shrieked back. 

Gray laughed. “you sound like a Molerat!” 

“kill them!” 

It was stupid to rush us. The gunmen knew that. I assumed anyway. maybe they were just that scared of their club happy boss. So they charged us. Gray barely had to move in order to get a clear shot. instead of killing them she aimed for their knees. A rare moment of mercy on her part. I followed suit. Soon they were all groaning on the ground. I kicked their weapons out of reach. 

Darla was practically beside herself with rage when we faced her. The sledge hammer looked way too heavy for her. Don’t ask me how a woman made of nothing but skin and bone could hold it. at least it had shit for range. As me and Gray came out from cover we had our guns trained on her carefully. “it’s over doll, drop the hammer.” 

Her face twisted up into something inhuman. Insanity. The wasteland got to all of us in different ways. She wasn’t even that strange. “you’ve ruined everything! Hintzen said he’d give me the commonwealth but you had go and ruin it! I was going to be the queen! I would have everything I ever wanted! Wealth, respect, any man I ever wanted, and you took that from me! if he had just let me kill you!”

“hate to break it to ya but Hintzen wasn’t planning on handing the commonwealth over to you.” we stepped down the stairs into the garden proper. Some wind tugged at our clothes and their hair. “you were a pawn, he’s abandoned you.”

“no! he should have just let me kill you before!” while she was furious she kept backing up. Maybe she wasn’t as ready to fight as she wanted to pretend. The hammer really did look ridiculous in her hands. “he told me! I heard his voice on the radio! He promised me everything! if I gave him what he ordered he’d let me have anything I ever wanted!”

“you talked to him?” Gray questioned in astonishment.

“that’s right!” proudly Darla puffed out her bony chest. She wasn’t entirely out of her mind. I’d never met anyone that had talked to Hintzen, face to face or otherwise. There was a lot of note passing but as far as I’d heard only Jimmy Murtagh had direct contact with him. this was new. “he gives me orders! I report to him! He says I’m a valued member of his group!”

“on the radio?” I pressed. We were about half way across the garden now. Darla was running out of space to retreat. “you talk to him on the radio?”

“it doesn’t matter!” suddenly she came to a stop, holding up her sledge hammer defensively. “I’ll kill you! when I finally kill you! then everything will go back to the way things should be!” 

The rockets on the back of her hammer ignited. At extreme speed it came hurtling toward my head. I ducked it, just barely. It forced her to spin wildly on the spot. Like a cartoon or something. Gray tried to get inside the circle of destruction. Darla saw her coming. She shut off the rockets just in time to reverse her direction. There was just enough force behind her swing to send Gray to the ground on her back. she stared up at her while Darla raised the sledge hammer over her head with both hands. 

“you’ll pay for getting in my way!”

I dived in between them, hands over my head.

“Nick!”

The hammer came down hard on my arms. I heard the crunch of metal. Pain lanced through me. I held my ground, down on one knee, glaring into Darla’s deranged face. that smile was triumphant. She really was stupid. the hammer crackled an inch from my face. I risked electrocution to switch my grip. Grabbed her around the arm, tugging her forward. She doubled over, her arm outstretched. Mercilessly I slammed my forearm into her elbow. Bones snapped, skin split to make way for them. She screamed in agony. 

When I released her arm she staggered away, desperate to get space between us. Her arm hung useless and bloody at her side. I hadn’t meant to make it an open fracture, just to sprain her arm. sometimes I didn’t know my own strength. “no! No! No! No! No! No!! it won’t end like this!”

“it’s over Darla.” We pursued her across the rooftop. “your gang is dead, your headquarters ransacked. Your broken and bleeding. Just give up and let us patch you up.” 

“no!” she kept backing up. “I wont lose! I can’t lose! The commonwealth is mine! I’ll control all of you! I’ll control everything! I won’t go back to being eye candy!” 

“Darla stop!” Gray picked up the pace.

“get away from me!” She swung the sledge hammer defensively. It was enough force to send her stumbling. Darla’s foot met thin air. Before I could even react she went plummeting over the side of the building.

Gray darted the last few feet, landing on her belly to catch the falling woman. it was too late. Her fingers brushed Darla’s for only a few seconds. I reached the edge of the building in time to watch Darla hit the pavement in a spray of red. For once I was happy that Ellison hadn’t given me telescopic vision. 

“guess I shouldn’t be surprised she’d go out that way…. Wish she’d given us something more than the radio clue.” Dissatisfied, I put my gun away. Then looked at Gray.

She was frozen on the rooftop, her hand still outstretched to catch Darla. Her face was stricken. Eyes so wide I wasn’t sure what she was seeing. Face completely pale.

This couldn’t be good. Slowly I knelt at her side, a hand on her back. “Gray? You with me?”

“Rush….” She mumbled.

Electricity burst in my chest. “what?”

“I thought…. I thought I saw ….” Swallowing hard she shook her head. “never mind….” Groaning she forced herself to stand, backing up several paces from the edge of the building.

My eyes darted to the bloodstain on the pavement twenty stories below. It was too similar to the way Rush had died. Shit. Tell me she hadn’t seen it. tell me that she didn’t remember anything. “gray are you sure-”

“I’m fine.” She cut me off quickly. Her left hand gripped her right wrist. “come on, we should get back to Goodneighbor. Ellison might have some ideas about the radio messaging thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, forgot to post on friday didn't i? Sorry about that folks. In my defense, i'm in boston right now, and last week i was so excited i could barely act like a human being so, sorry. 
> 
> but here it is, i'll be back on schedule now after this, promise.
> 
> till Friday, write on!


	13. Coming to Terms

Marowski looked bad under all those bandages. At least what little I could actually see. They’d wrapped up most of his face, keeping the pressure on to stop the bleeding. His hands were just two big balls of cloth and compresses. Both his trigger fingers. They’d probably been the first digits Darla took off. It was as good as a death sentence in the wasteland. 

In spite of all of that he seemed in good spirits, chuckling after Nick and I had reported Darla’s end. “wish I could have seen it. That cunt was out of her god damn mind. wouldn’t stop talking whenever she was taking my fingers off.”

“well, she and the Triggermen are officially finished.” Nick stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. around it he continued to grumble. “what Triggermen are left in the commonwealth should scatter pretty quick once word gets to them. The only thing keeping them in line was fear of that woman’s bad temper.”

“I’d drink to that if I had one.” he shifted around in his bed up on the top floor of the Rexford. Since Goodneighbor didn’t have a proper doctor, Clair had done most of the work on his bandages. All things considered she did a good job. Marowski stood a decent chance of coming out of this in reasonable shape. 

“did you end up telling her what she wanted to know?” probably should have had some bedside manner, considering what this guy had been through. I would have if that headache wasn’t so bad. 

Marowski wasn’t bothered by it. “I didn’t tell her shit. She wanted to know who my contacts were and how to find them. Had herself ambition of taking my network from me. dumb bitch didn’t realize most of my information is a decade too old. All I got is a handful of old dogs still on my side.” 

“did you hear anything from her?” Nick crossed his arms to lean up against the wall by the door.

“one or two things, she bragged to me about how Hintzen was going to make her the queen of the commonwealth. Never thought he’d be dumb enough to put his bet on someone like her.” Heard the barest hint of jealously leak into his voice. Made sense. Man like him probably wished he could grab that much power again. “other than that nothing helpful. She said something about sending men into South Boston to look for someone.”

Nick and I exchanged looks. There were only two reasons to go to South Boston. The Minutemen and the castle, or Irma. Was Hintzen on his way to finding her? He looked back at Marowski. “did she mention any specifics? Even the tiniest detail might be useful.”

Wincing he shrugged. “sorry, kind of hard to pay attention when she pried out my molars.” 

“that’s enough.” 

We turned. Clair Hutchins stood in the doorway, fists planted firmly on her hips. That brought memories back from when I snuck into the Rexford. It made me nervous purely based on past experiences. Nick wasn’t affected by it. “I still have questions.”

“and you can ask them later. Marowski’s been through hell, he needs rest. Get out of my hotel, I’ll tell you when he’s ready for interrogation.” 

“this ain’t your hotel, and I don’t need you to be my nurse.” Marowski tried to sound intimidating but all he managed to do was sound pathetic. His voice was weakening as exhaustion took hold. 

Clair heard it, and she rolled her eyes. “what are you going to do about it? Now you two, out.”

Without argument we left the hotel room. behind us Clair proceeded to berate Marowski. “I feel like we’ve just got a glimpse of Ellie in her future.” I murmured. 

“what do you mean future? She’s already like that.” Nick laughed.

Outside the sun had already fallen. Marowski had passed out for several hours before we had the chance to talk to him. I wasn’t mad. We’d finished Darla. One of the biggest threats in the commonwealth was gone. That was something worth celebrating. In the very least that earned us a good rest. Maybe. “should we be worried about Irma?”

Nick paused half way across the street. Turning he tilted his head so only one of his eyes was visible. In this light it glowed, making the pose that much more enigmatic. Sexy bastard. Bet he knew it too. “maybe. We’ll head out first thing in the morning to check on her. Maybe move her if we think it’s important.”

“you trust Marowski’s word?” 

“what reason would he have to lie? The fact is I knew the safe house wouldn’t be safe forever. It’s about damn time we moved Irma anyway.” 

Frowning I peered under his hat to get a better look at his face. “why do you do that?”

“do what?” his brow shot up.

“whenever you mention her your face scrunches up, and your voice goes low. What’d she do exactly?”

“she pissed us off!” Hancock called to us. 

He came limping up to us, using a cane to take the weight off his bad leg a bit. I say cane but that’s not really a good description of it. he could easily beat someone to death with that thing. He had a wider grin on his face than I’d seen since I was a kid. back when he still did stupid things in the ruins. 

“guess Fahrenheit didn’t kill you.” Nick commented with a dry grin.

Hancock shrugged. “she did, didn’t bother me. Marowski tell you anything?”

“we may need to relocate Irma.” 

“to where?” I raised my brows at Nick. “where do you even have her in the first place?”

“you’ll see tomorrow.”

“considering how angry Fahrenheit already is with me, it won’t do any harm to come with you tomorrow.” He just looked like he wanted to push his luck with Fahrenheit. If he wasn’t careful she’d lock his ass up with Sebastian Atwood. 

“John, I appreciate the thought, but we really won’t need your help.”

“who said anything about helping you? this is about me going stir crazy.”

“well that clears all that up.” I laughed. “was beginning to worry about your altruism.” 

His eyes narrowed. “need I remind you it’s cause of my altruism that you’re alive?” 

“fair alright.” 

Nick gave me a sidelong look. “I expected you to argue more….” 

“don’t have the energy.” And there was a lot more on my mind than poking fun at Hancock. My eyes slowly strayed to the Memory Den. It was probably pretty empty right now. Like I’d planned. Everyone in town was celebrating the news. Amari wouldn’t be. She’d be working down in her lab.

“I wanted to talk to you Valentine.” Hancock drew my attention back to the conversation. He had his eyes locked on Nick, that warning look that said don’t argue. “got a minute?”

“can’t we do this here?” his brow shot up.

“no.” 

With a sigh I stepped back. “you two go on, I’ll catch you up later.” 

Warm concerned yellow eyes turned on me. “ya sure?” 

“yeah, I’ll be with Amari if you need me.” 

The memory den was empty when I entered it. as expected Irma’s seat was cold. None of the machines were up and running. It was eerily quiet. Usually the place was filled with the whir of computers or the murmur of voices in their pods. It was dead. with that wonderfully foreboding thought, I made my way to the basement. Things were normal here. The computers were all on, the memory lounger open and waiting for the next patient. Amari sat at her desk, sipping patiently at a cup of tea. 

“hey doc.”

She looked up and smiled. “ah, Miss O'Malley, I hear congratulations are in order. You’ve done the commonwealth a great service.” 

“what? The Triggermen? They were nothing. we both know that someone’s gonna fill the power vacuum they left.” Which wasn’t something Nick or I had been particularly concerned with at the time.

Amari wasn’t any more concerned than we were. “hopefully this will give the Minutemen an opportunity to bring order back to the commonwealth. It’s up to them to take the opportunity you’ve provided.” 

“I think you’re giving me too much credit.” 

“that’s what you always say.” With her hands folded in her lap she twisted her chair around to face me. “now what can I do for you?” 

It seemed like every time I came to Amari alone and of my own accord, it was for something like this. some problem that was sending me over the edge. The headache wouldn’t stop pounding behind my right eye. Rush’s bloody face wouldn’t go away. It made no sense. Why did I remember him like that? what was happening to me? 

“Amari can you have a look at my mind?”

Slowly her hands unfolded from her lap. Her expression, which was always serious, became grave. It was like she’d been expecting this. “what’s wrong?” 

“I’m not sure.” Eyes screwed shut I pressed a hand to my forehead. The pounding was becoming unbearable. “I’m remembering things, things I’ve never done, people that I shouldn’t be remembering. I’m terrified that my mind is falling apart or something. have you ever heard of a synth losing it like this?”

“no.”

Oh great, guess that made me even more of a freak than normal. huffing out a breath I let my hand fall to my side. She still hadn’t moved. That look was contemplative now. “what?”

“have you spoken with Mr. Valentine about this?” 

“n-no.” if I did what would he think of me? how would he react? If he knew that I was losing it what would he do? Would he think I was too much of a danger to keep around? I would. 

“you need to talk to him.”

“why? if you can just do something, fix me somehow, that’s all I ask.” 

“I’m afraid it isn’t so simple.”

“why?!”

“Gray?”

My heart hit the pit of my stomach. feeling like I was moving in tar I turned. Nick stood in the doorway, hat off, staring directly at me. his expression wasn’t even accusatory or angry or anything. His face was soft. 

Amari stepped around me. “I’ll give you two some time alone.”

Quiet, we waited until she had disappeared up the stairs. My chest felt so painfully tight. I couldn’t speak even if I thought it would make a difference. When she was gone Nick looked at me. “what’s going on?”

“Nick….” Didn’t have a choice now. trying to talk my way out of this was liable to make things worse. He’d get it out of me eventually. “there’s something I need to tell you….” 

His head tilted, expression as gentle as ever. “whatever it is, we’ll work through it together.”

God he just had to make me love him even more. It made what I had to tell him all the harder. With a deep shuddering breath I dropped my face. “I’ve… I’ve always had these urges Nick. Since I joined up with Cormac’s gang, I’ve always had this itch. Well I guess it’s more of an ache than an itch really.”

“Gray you don’t have to exp-”

“no, no, let me finish. You need to hear this….” I was ashamed that I’d kept this from him for so long in the first place. After that last fight, I needed to tell him. he needed to know the truth. “my right wrist, it aches. Don’t really know what triggers it all I know is that killing people helps take the edge off…. It didn’t used to be so bad. I could ignore it pretty easily but lately…. Nick I’m scared….” 

He closed the gap between us. I took a hesitant step back. “talk to me Gray.”

Swallowing hard I let my eyes fall to my hands which were clasped tight together. “it’s getting worse. There are some days where it hurts so much I can barely stand it. then there are the headaches too….”

“what headaches?” his hands came to my shoulders, stroking me gently up and down. it was all I could do to not collapse into his arms and cry. 

“when we’re fighting, when things get real bad, I get headaches. Then sometimes I black out, sometimes I don’t feel like myself! Something’s happening to me Nick! I don’t know what! I don’t know why or understand it! I’m so scared and I’m falling apart. I can’t-”

“sh.” He folded me up tight in his arms. 

With my face in his shoulder, nose filled with the smell of him, I couldn’t take it any longer. Tears started streaming hard and fast. I clung to him, like letting go meant I’d never see him again. 

“I know….”

“you what?” I murmured.

“I know about the black outs and the wrist.”

“how?” that was impossible I hadn’t told anyone.

“Gray I know you better than you think I do.” His metal fingers stroked through my hair, from my temple back. it felt so good. “thank you for telling me.”

“what are we going to do Nick?” still refused to look at him. hugging him like this was all I wanted now. “something is wrong with me. something is seriously wrong with me. with my head. I’m a killer but I’ve never been that much of a killer.”

“Amari is already working on something.” 

“what?” astonished I finally let go so I could get a look at his face. for the topic of conversation he was remarkably calm. His face might have even been a little lighter than before. it’s like he’d reached a moment of clarity or something. would really love it if you shared that with me Nick. 

As he reached up to cup my face in both his hands the tiniest flicker of pain crossed his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you. I thought that everything was fine so I wouldn’t have to. Nah that’s a lie, I wanted to believe that everything was fine, I’m sorry.”

“what are you talking about?”

“remember when you lost a month?”

“yeah.” Waking up knowing that a whole month of your life had been erased wasn’t something you were liable to forget anytime soon. 

He grimaced. “well something happened to you. I can’t tell you what happened, I’m afraid if I did it would only make things worse. But Amari expected something like this to happen. So she’s working on a way to help you.”

“are you saying that someone did something to my head?” cold sweat started to drip down the back of my neck. It all added up. The flashes of someone else’s memories I’d get. These urges that wouldn’t stop plaguing me. 

Don’t forget this lovely voice that’s in here with you.

“oh god….” 

“we reversed it, at least as much as Amari could. She couldn’t erase all of the damage so she had to do to you what she used to do to Railroad synths.” He continued.

“right, right, because she can’t erase them completely, she can only turn off memories.” I remembered both her and DiMA saying something similar before. it was the only reason he’d been capable of reversing the mind wipes. “what happened to me Nick? Why am I turning into a killer?”

“you’re not a killer.”

“don’t play games with me! you know what I mean!” 

He let out a long breath, dipping his head. If he’d been wearing his hat still that would have hid his face. “I can’t tell you that…. Amari warned me that if you remembered too much it could accelerate whatever this is. Please Gray, I don’t want to lose you.”

My heart gave such a painful twinge for a brief second it drowned out everything else. Carefully I took his face in my hands. Forced him to lift his face to me. “you’re not going to lose me, I promise. I just need to know the truth. I’m not asking for details, just tell me what happened.”

The debate raged on behind his eyes. caught between being honest with me, since he knew it was the right thing to do, and protecting my mind. If he’d just give me an overview I’d be satisfied, I didn’t need to know everything. eventually he sucked in a breath. “Calum Rush took you, turned you into a killer like him. Fahrenheit, John and I, along with Macready, Violet and Mags got you back.”

“Rush….” A mix of emotions washed through my chest. Not among them was surprise. I should have felt it. after all, I’d thought I’d killed him. I’d shot him square in the chest over seven years ago. no one should have survived that. How had he? But I knew. Something inside me knew that he’d survived. 

He’s dead now.

“yeah he is.” 

Wait, had I said that out loud?

Blinking I made myself focus on Nick again. He still held me by the arms, face grim. “Macready said that you fought him, up on the highway. During the fight he stabbed you through the hand.”

“and I tipped him over the edge.” I finished. I did remember that. Watching Darla die had triggered it. that’s all it had triggered. There were other memories besides that had started cropping up. Poseidon energy plant, Fairline Hills, Mass Fusion shed. That last one left me feeling sick and cold. “what about the others? Maria, Tag, Rick, did they come with him?”

His jaw flexed while he debated. The answer was clear on his face. “they came too. they’re all dead now too.”

“well I guess that’s one relief. At least I won’t be looking over my shoulder now.” not that I had been before. couldn’t really believe that they’d come back for me. ah who was I kidding? Rush had been a menace and a mad man even when I was with him. he was bound to crop back up if he wasn’t in the ground. And I doubted that he survived a drop from twenty stories up. 

With his whole hand Nick cupped my face. his thumb caressed my cheek bone, my jaw still felt a little sore from getting punched. “you understand why I didn’t tell you all of this right? Amari worried about bleeding, and we worried that telling you would make it worse.”

“no, I get it, I do….” It brought up plenty of questions on top of it. that was about two years ago. when Hancock had stopped talking to me. “did I do something to Hancock?”

Of course you did.

“please don’t ask me that.” His face fell visibly, shoulders slouching. 

“tell me Nick.” If we’d come this far he’d better explain everything. 

With a reluctant breath he nodded. “yeah…. But that wasn’t you. Rush made you into a worse monster than he was. And John knows it. he’s forgiven you for it. the leg too.” 

Well that cleared that up. Knowing that, Hancock’s behavior made tons more sense. Honestly I was surprised that he hadn’t shot me. Nick convincing him that I hadn’t been that person was downright impressive. Fahrenheit too for that matter. Not that I didn’t appreciate it. if they could put blame aside, maybe I could too…. Wally’s face came crashing down on top of me next. His angry words while he had my gun pointed at me. I’d killed his family. It wasn’t just a nightmare then. 

The weight of all this came down on my shoulders. My knees buckled so I sank into Amari’s chair. Face in my hands, I tried to breathe evenly. Was there more? 

There’s plenty more.

Did I even want to know? 

Probably not.

Hands brushed my arms which were shaking. I raised my eyes to find Nick staring at me. “I know this is hard to hear, believe me I didn’t want it to come to this.”

“I know, Nick, I know….”

“we can fix this. Amari can help make sure you won’t have any more episodes. She can shore up your mind so that you don’t lose it.” 

That wasn’t exactly going to help the guilt now filling my chest, although it’d get rid of my fear. It might even take a load off his mind. at least I wouldn’t be in danger of turning on him. how could I face any of them now though knowing what I’d done? There was bound to be more too, there always was. Nick wouldn’t tell me, and as cowardly as it was I didn’t want to know. This was bad enough. 

“sweetheart, look at me.” 

He rarely called me sweetheart. I refocused my eyes on him, only to find his face mere inches from mine. 

There was so much confidence there. and love too. it was almost enough to quash the fear and guilt. “you can make it through this. I’m right here to help you, and I’m not going anywhere. Everything that happened wasn’t your fault. you weren’t in control. John doesn’t blame you, Fahrenheit doesn’t blame you, I don’t blame you, so don’t blame yourself.”

If you remembered the details those words would be empty.

Maybe so. They did the trick though. my chest felt a little lighter. Nick was one of the noblest people in the commonwealth. If he could look passed it and forgive me, then maybe I could too. it wasn’t me, I had to keep telling myself that. Rush was behind those murders. Behind what happened to Hancock. I was just his tool. Nobody blamed the gun when you pulled the trigger. 

I took in a deep shuddering breath. Then wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him in close for a kiss. He didn’t fight or argue. His hands slipped through my hair and behind my waist. When we parted my eyes were starting to sting.

He frowned when he saw the tears. Wiping them away he shook his head. “those had better not be out of pain.”

“no.” giggling lightly I smiled at him. “they’re grateful, grateful for you Nick.”

“I’m just an old bot trying to do right by the woman he loves.” 

“you’re doing a good job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another of those moments where i dont feel like i spend enough realistic time with the drama. reasonably having all this confirmed should put Gray out of commission for a while. i mean if it were any of us i feel like we'd be in a tail spin. but since this is a story and this isn't the main conflict in the story, i have to make it short. dont want to overload you guys with too much of Grey sitting there being a angsty, the angst needs to be spread around ya know?
> 
> anyway, hope you're enjoying Cause/Effect. until next week, write on!


	14. Rust Colored Devils

“we sure have been through a lot of shit in South Boston haven’t we?” 

Gray’s cheerful voice brought my gaze down to her. We were on the road. The morning sun gleamed bright over our heads. It played off her gray eyes, giving them the illusion of daylight breaking through the storm. Or maybe they just sparkled more now. Amari’s treatment seemed to have done the trick. I hadn’t realized how bad things were for her until the tension was gone from her shoulders. She smiled wider than she had in months. Her hand wasn’t constantly resting on her pistol. 

It was surprising the transformation. Had I known things would go over this well I might have told her sooner. It was a relief to no longer be keeping secrets from her. And to know she wasn’t keeping any from me. it must have been incredibly hard to tell me about her wrist. Only now it didn’t seem to bother her much. The air was truly clear between us. 

“you’re ogling me.” 

With a blink I came back to the present. Gray stood ahead of me in the road, hands on her hips, smiling. That spark in her eye bright as ever. “what can I say? I’m lovesick.” 

She groaned, that didn’t quite wipe the blush off her face. 

“you two make me sick.” John waltzed by. Even with his pronounced limp, he managed a little swagger. Not surprising. Nothing was going to keep him down. not even Fahrenheit. How furious was she going to be when she found out he’d snuck out with us? Again. 

Gray crossed her arms, following him with her eyes. there wasn’t any heat behind her glare. it didn’t matter what I said to her, there was still some guilt there. she’d always feel guilty. At least until John said something stupid enough to take the edge off. “not sick enough or you wouldn’t keep tagging along.”

“it’s better than sitting in the Statehouse getting trounced at chess by Fahrenheit.” 

“since when do you take someone else’s orders?” 

“hence.” Vaguely he waved his hands around the road while he left us behind. 

Chuckling, Mags walked by me. her black hair flowed in a light breeze that carried the smell of her back to me. she smelled like flowers, of all things in the wasteland. “if you’re not careful John, she’s going to give up and lock you up.”

“I’d like to see her, or anyone, try!” 

“I don’t think you actually want that.” 

“I’d especially like to see you try.” John winked. 

I laughed, while Gray gagged a little. the other two walked ahead of us, leaving us alone in the road. “don’t be such a child, you know how John is.”

“I just don’t want mental pictures.” Her face screwed up in agony. She slapped her hand over her face. “now I have some….”

Laughing, I put my arm around her shoulders. “come on, they’re liable to leave us behind.” 

We were just outside South Boston, just passed the military check point. It wouldn’t be long now. It was familiar ground. We’d been through here dozens of times over the years, for cases and the occasional mishap. Not many good memories here. “what you were saying before, about going through a lot of shit here….”

“forget it.” she shook her head. One of her hands gripped the hand I had draped over her. “no point dwelling on it. we’ve survived it all after all. Learned from our mistakes, grown as people. All that bullshit.”

“more importantly we’re still together.” I kissed her temple. 

“more importantly.” Her face flushed crimson. 

Arm in arm we walked through the wasteland. With her at my side there was nothing I couldn’t handle. All the friends, all the mistakes, all the partners over the years, I’d do it all again if it meant coming to this moment. I’d go through the torture of the institute all over again if it meant being with her like this. a smile pulled at my lips knowing what she’d say if she could hear my thoughts right then.

Up ahead Mags and John turned off the main road into South Boston proper. We passed beneath the freeway into the ruined buildings. Back in the day it had been a nice little suburb, with a lot of graduate students from C.I.T. and some new families. A bit crowded, but nice, and not as expensive as elsewhere. By that time’s standards anyway. too bad the same couldn’t be said now. 

Thankfully there wasn’t much in way of scumbags to get in our way. With the Minutemen cleaning up the streets there weren’t many raiders left in these parts. They’d migrated elsewhere. John and Mags slipped ahead of us a little more. Didn’t matter, they knew where we were going. And I was in no hurry to get back to Irma. I was still debating with myself whether or not she was worth saving. 

“so where are we going exactly?” 

“I couldn’t stash Irma just anywhere, it had to be a place I’d never been or Jimmy would have no trouble finding her.” I elaborated casually while we walked. We passed by a monument made of granite then through what was left of a raider camp. 

Gray nodded while she kept careful watch on the buildings. “makes sense, but why here? There are plenty of other places in the commonwealth you could stick her.” 

We came to a church at the near center of town. an old building, probably one of those buildings they kept around from colonial times. Without realizing it I stopped. Staring toward the spear like roof tops. For a brief moment I could see how it looked before the bombs fell. When there were vines growing on the old stone. When the organ played melodramatic music. When the entire town flocked here for gatherings. 

The ring felt heavy in my pocket. 

“Jenny and the old Nick planned to get married in this church.” 

She frowned up at it, looking at it with new eyes. hard to tell what she was thinking right then. “is that something you would want? Getting married in a church, the old fashioned thing and all that?”

With a laugh I shook my head. “nah, I may be old fashioned but when it comes to a wedding…. All I care about is having friends and family there. what about you? where would you want to get married?”

“I hadn’t given it much thought….” Contemplatively she put a finger to her chin. Her eyes half closed. “I suppose… the only place that’s got enough meaning is Goodneighbor. But I can’t imagine a wedding in Goodneighbor. Can you?”

“probably not.” Although it was definitely something to think about. Maybe I’d run it by John. As an unofficial mayor he technically had the authority to marry people. How would that make Gray feel? The idea was almost laughable. 

“come on, or Hancock might just shoot Irma before we can move her.” She wrapped her hand in mine and dragged me down the road. We weren’t far. The castle was just beyond the last row of townhouses. I suppose I could have gone to the Minutemen for help. but that might get the kid involved, and I didn’t want to get the kid involved. “so did Jenny live here? With Nick?”

“hm? Yeah, they were living together. He moved here from Chicago a few years before the bombs fell. He met her here.” It was amazing how easy it was to talk about them now. a couple years ago I’d avoided the subject of them like the plague. Ever since handling Winter it had gotten gradually easier. Gray was the only person I ever talked about them with. “he was here for work and she’d lived in Boston her whole life. She was a nurse at Mass Bay Medical. They met when he came in for an on the job injury.” 

“haha, I’m beginning to think I had more in common with the old Nick than I thought.” 

“you certainly share his propensity for getting in trouble.” I laughed in agreement. “one thing led to another, they started dating, he moved into her apartment out here in South Boston. That’s where we’re headed their old apartment.”

She snapped her head to me. “and… you’ve never been here? Ever?”

“once. Back when I escaped the institute, when I still thought I was the old Nick, I went looking for the place. Never even made it inside. Didn’t feel right. I wasn’t right in the head for a while there.” I breathed a sigh. The end of the street came up. The empty husk of a café greeted us. Jenny and Nick used to frequent there. we turned right. John and Mags were already waiting for us at the end of the block. 

Gray followed me now, letting me gently lead her by the hand. “Nick, if you ever had the chance, would you rather live before the war?” 

“I thought you were smarter than this.” I stopped to look back at her. She frowned a little, eyes narrowed at the insult. That made me smile. “I wouldn’t want to live in a world that you’re not in.” 

She scowled. “that doesn’t answer my question.”

“yes it does.” Grinning cheekily I let her hand fall and strode the rest of the way down the block. 

John and Mags were facing each other, both looking less than happy about being here. “I say, we leave her to Hintzen, wherever he is.” John offered dryly. We’d told him the truth about what Irma did after the cemetery. It just made things simpler. 

Mags scowled. “you can’t just abandon her! She’s been helping us.”

“yeah well she’s been more of a pain in the ass. I think that wins out.” He snarled.

“we’re here, we might as well do something.” I barked. 

They glanced my way. Mags’ scowl softened a little. “thank you.”

“we’ll give her a choice, stick around without our protection, or have our help getting out of the commonwealth.” 

“what?” her jaw fell open.

John glared. “that’s your big idea? That’s letting her off easy as far as I’m concerned.”

“we promised we’d protect her Nick.” Mags jabbed a finger at me, absolutely furious with me. “and you’re suggesting we go back on that? I thought you were better than that!”

“that’s the best I can offer her.” Dismissively I waved my hand. “she deserves execution for what she did to Gray, the only reason I’m not letting John have her is because she helped us. Banishment is all she gets.”

Tightly Mags crossed her arms, lips drawn in a thin line. There was no point arguing with me and she knew it. She turned her back on us. “I don’t want any part of this. I’ll wait out here for you guys.”

“whatever you want. John?”

“yeah I’d like to have some words with the bitch myself.” He cracked his knuckles with a wince.

“I’m staying out here with Magnolia.” 

My jaw fell open as I turned to Gray. She was frowning up at the powder blue apartment, arms loosely folded. “are you sure? I thought you’d want answers out of her.”

“I don’t want to talk to her. You do what you have to.” She strode around us up to Mags who waited on the corner of the block. 

John slapped me on the shoulder. “come on Valentine, lets go have a chat with the bitch.” 

I was going to regret letting him into the conversation. Ah well. 

The powder blue house was still mostly intact on the inside. The stairs to the upper floor was splintered to bits. Part of the back had collapsed too. the living room to the right and the kitchen to the left were still livable. This was the first time I had seen the inside of the place. Mags had been the one that escorted Irma here for me. 

It was jarring how familiar it was. I could almost still see Jenny sitting on the little couch watching TV. Her writing desk over in the corner by the side window. The shelves full of photos and books. Most of the frames were smashed. All the books were missing. And the TV was broken. Irma sat where Jenny used to, legs folded up beside her. 

“well… isn’t this a pleasant surprise?” the sarcasm couldn’t have been any more venomous. “sorry, I don’t have much in way of hospitality.”

Before I could move or say anything, John strode across the room and slammed his fist hard into her face. I heard something snap. She tumbled down onto the couch. All that blond hair flying. John stood over her, fists balled tight. “you’re scum.”

Painfully, she forced herself back to a sitting position. Blood leaked out the corner of her mouth. “and?”

“and if Valentine weren’t here, I’d shove my shotgun down your throat and make you eat bullets.” He snarled. 

“I see they told you.”

“we did.” I leaned up against the doorframe with loosely folded arms. Making no move to protect her from the angry ghoul. “things are coming to a head. Hintzen is looking for you. you’ve got two choices. Stay here and die, either by John’s hand or Hintzen’s.”

“I dare you to stay.” John stepped down. 

“or, leave the commonwealth.” 

“you’re banishing me?!” she surged to her feet, hands outstretched. “you can’t do that to me! This is my home! Everything is here! You can’t just drive me out like some kind of outcast!” 

“that’s why you get a choice.” Like this conversation didn’t bother me, I took out a cigarette. Deliberately slow I lit it, took a drag then let it fall to my side. “I don’t care what you chose. You’ve got sixty seconds.”

“you bastard.”

“not the worst thing I’ve ever been called.” 

John leaned up against the curtained window. Astonishingly the drapes Nick and Jenny had fought over were still here. They were an ugly yellow in my opinion. “if you don’t make up your mind in a minute, I’m just gonna shoot you myself.”

She glared at him. 

“thirty seconds.” I grumbled around my cig.

“I hope Hintzen burns all of you.” defeated she sank into the couch.

Then something broke through the window and landed with a dull thud on the threadbare carpet. John shouted, “grenade!” 

I dived into the foyer, didn’t see where anyone else went. The grenade went off with a tiny fireball. The shockwave shattered every window. My hearing went out for a split second. When it came back on it was to Gray yelling.

“Nick! Are you ok?!”

With a groan I got on my hands and knees. She leaned in through the doorway, alarm all over her face. Her attention snapped to something on the street. 

A massive red laser struck her in the shoulder. the jacket took the brunt while she dived into the house alongside me. “shit! Shit! Shit!”

“are you alright?!” I grabbed her to get a look at the scorch mark on her shoulder. 

“yeah, yeah I’m fine, astonishingly! That was a goddamn Assaultron!” 

“shit.” 

A raider came careening around the doorway. He had an eye bot on his head of all things. His armor made of heavy metal and robot parts. No mistaking it. Rust Devils. I’d had some run ins with these lunatics since they appeared in the commonwealth. Either they scrapped robots or enslaved them. Didn’t like what that would mean for me. 

He swung up a shotgun, cocked it. Gray threw herself aside to leave me a clear shot. I already had my gun out. It took three rounds to penetrate the armor on his chest. When it did he bucked. The shogun went off. The buckshot narrowly missed me, a few stray pallets sunk into my side. Swearing I forced myself to my feet. 

“what the hell are Rust Devils doing here?” Gray got up too, her own gun out now. 

“they’re on Hintzen’s payroll. My question is how’d they find this place?”

“could they have followed us?”

“no one was following us in the first place!”

An explosion from outside rocked what was left of the apartment building. From the living room sprinted Irma. “I’m done! You’re going to get me killed! This is all your fault!” 

“Irma stop! Wait!” Gray reached for her. 

Too late. The woman was already out the door. we chased her. Out in the street it looked like a war zone. There were half a dozen scrap bots floating around, equal parts human raiders. Then there was the Assaultron. Which Irma ran headlong into. We watched in horror as it grabbed her in both of its clawed hands. Gray moved to help. she’d never get there in time. 

The Assaultron pulled Irma’s arms apart. “target identified, directive, destroy.”

Irma screamed.

The Assaultron’s eye turned an evil nasty red. I ran forward, grabbing Gray around the middle. She struggled. “let me go! We have to-”

The Assaultron let its worst weapon lose. Irma couldn’t fight or go anywhere. Her screams turned into screeches as the laser bore into her chest. Skin and muscle puckered and exploded almost all at once. I watched her spine blow out the back of her body. There was so much blood and gore. Her head separated from the rest of her body, falling to the ground. For one last finishing touch the Assaultron pulled apart what was left of Irma’s body. The two halves fell the ground in heaps. 

Then it turned its glowing red eye on us.

Gray and I didn’t have any time to even process what we’d just witnessed. Survival was the only thing we had to think about. While we backed up for cover we fired into the robot. thank god these things needed time to warm back up. It was already doing it. we had maybe thirty seconds to get to cover. 

“hey! Rust bucket!” 

The Assaultron turned in time to catch sight of Mags’ gun. Her magnum tore right through it’s armor plating into its brain. Sparking dangerously it crumpled to the ground. She ran up to our side, wide eyed. “is everyone alright?”

“where’s John?” I reloaded while there was a lull in the conversation. “did he get out?”

“here!” a scrap bot exploded and from the wreckage stepped John, looking more annoyed than scared. “who invited these fucks to the party?”

“we gotta move!” Gray tugged on my arm. “there are too many!” 

The scrap bots were swarming on us. Soon we’d be surrounded. John led the way back up the street where we’d come. Gray, Mags and I laid down fire behind us. Three of the bots went down. Mags’ gun was doing as much damage alone as Gray and I. might think about switching guns one day. The raiders were smart, taking cover in buildings and leaving their robots as cannon fodder. If only we had a cannon. 

Eventually we came to the end of the block. We turned around to run full tilt into the ruins. There weren’t any scrap bots left. Rust Devils weren’t that threatening when they didn’t have their robots. They were just a bunch of raiders. Nothing special. except they had numbers.

Just ahead of us John got passed the church. He should have been home free. Then three armored Mr. Handies sped to intercept him. a buzz saw sliced across his chest. He screamed, falling to a knee. The other two swarmed. Mags and Gray put on an extra burst of speed, firing as they went. Behind I heard the rest of the Rust Devils turn the corner. They were boxing us in. in these tight streets we were running out of options. 

I skidded to a stop in the middle of the street, rounding my gun on them. A few of them saw it in time to retreat, others just kept coming. I got off four shots. One of the raiders went down with a hole in his head, another collapsed over his blown open knee. The first Rust Devil met me. he raised the butt of his gun to smash into my face. I ducked it, and jabbed him hard in the ribs with my right hand. bones snapped under the force, blood spurted from the cuts my metal fingers left. He collapsed in a ball. 

The others fired at me. I took cover behind a truck in the middle of the road while I reloaded. Up the road I could see Gray hauling John back toward me, Mags covered their retreat. This wasn’t good. We were trapped. There had to be a way out of this. there weren’t enough bullets between us to finish this. and who knew how many more Rust Devils were out there. shit. 

Teeth gritted I got up on a knee. I fired into the Rust Devils that were running at me. another went down before they opened fire on me. not many left. A stray bullet lodged in my chest. With a pained grunt I hid back behind cover. Gray and John were only a few paces away. Mags hid behind a car a little further beyond them while more Rust Devils came down toward us. Well at least they were out of robots. 

Gray and John collapsed beside me. the blood was flowing fast out of the cut on his chest. It didn’t look good. “we’re outnumbered and outflanked, what do we do Nick?” Gray tried to help the bleeding. 

“through the cemetery.” If memory served there was a path around the side of the church. We stood a chance if we just got out of this kill box. 

John groaned out a pained chuckle. “more cemeteries, greeeat.” 

“got a better plan?” 

He shook his head, hand on his chest. 

Gray held up her gun, “I’ll get Magnolia.” 

“what am I supposed to do?” John tried to stand.

With a hand I forced him back down. “stay put.”

“fine….” 

Gray tore up back the road. Mags was holding her ground astonishingly well. None of the Rust Devils had even made it close. Gray reached her without trouble. Under all the gunfire I couldn’t hear what they said.

A Rust Devil leapt over the truck. She landed between me and John. I found myself staring down the barrel of her gun. She didn’t pull the trigger though. her eyes widened when she met my eyes. “shit.”

Her chest exploded. Blood and bone spattered me. She fell revealing John with his shotgun smoking. “well….” He flung it aside casually. “that was my last one.” 

“get down!” Gray sprinted back with Mags close at her side. When they reached us I looked over the car at the Rust Devils. They were swarming. Back behind Mags the rest of the Rust Devils were moving. 

“who has bullets left?” I checked my own cylinder. Only three left.

Mags shook her head. 

Gray grimaced. “I’ve got a couple left.”

“Mags, help John out of here. Gray you lay down cover fire then follow, I’ll be right behind. Do we all understand?” 

They all gave me grave firm nods. John looked pale. We had to get that bleeding under control and quick. 

“alright, count of three. One,” Mags took John under the arm. “two,” Gray gathered her legs under her. “three.” 

Mags and John sprang sluggishly off toward the cemetery. Gray stood, firing into the Rust Devils with what was left of her ammo. The moment she was out she tore off after Mags and John. I stood up last, to lay down as much cover fire as I could manage. Out of the corner of my eye I watched them go. They cleared the iron fence. When they got to the end of the church my gun clicked.

There weren’t many Rust Devils left. But they still had ammunition. I sprinted out from behind cover for the cemetery. They got the message pretty quick. Bullets and lasers peppered the church wall beside me. don’t know how they kept missing. It was like they were purposefully avoiding killing me. they chased me down. 

A lanky bastard got up in my face. he had an electrified tire iron of all things clutched in his hand. he swung it toward my stomach. I stepped in, caught his arm up against my side and wrenched. Something popped in his shoulder. he screamed. I smashed my face into his nose, blood spurted. The others were right on my tail.

I let him fall. Just a little further. Gray, John and Mags had better still be running.

When I turned the corner I glimpsed them up the road. They were almost a full block ahead. They were moving as fast as they could. John slowed them down. they were practically carrying him now. at the top of the road Gray let go and turned back around. She was coming back for me. of course she was.

“go back!” I tried to shout with no hope my words would reach her. “Gray run! Damn it! just run!”

She just kept coming. Gray eyes fierce with rage, no gun in her hand. 

Then something smashed hard into me. everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time i post a chapter i worry for a second that i'm posting them out of order some how. this is what happens when you write so much so far in advance. 
> 
> anyway, how about that Irma death eh? gotta say that was one of my favorite deaths i've ever written just cause of the abrupt brutality of it. of all the people i kill i think she got the most interesting death. 
> 
> just a reminder for those of you that dont like leaving public comments my email is darkmoonscropio@gmail.com, and why dont i just remind all of you that i've got a deviantart account where i've been stashing my doodles here: https://www.deviantart.com/scorpiodarkmoon in case any of you are interested. 
> 
> hope you've been enjoying this ride so far. long way to go so keep yourselves buckled in. till next week, write on!


	15. This Case Ain’t Closed

I watched the goddamn Sentry bot smash into Nick like some kind of bulldozer. It carried him across the street into the church. My heart hit the pit of my stomach. I put on an extra burst of speed. The church started to crumble. Ancient bricks came loose and filled in the hole the sentry bot left. The Rust Devils came around the corner. “Fuck you!!” I screamed, god damn it why hadn’t I brought more bullets? “you fucking bastards!” 

They spotted me. they were going to kill me, gun me down. fuck if I cared. Nick. God Nick please be safe. Please be alive. Their guns came up. Then an explosion rocked the ground, tearing through the brick work of the church. It started to implode from the roof out. the rust devils were caught in the blast wave. Those that weren’t instantly torn apart smashed into the side of a truck on the road where they turned into paste. The blast gave me something to think about. 

My heart went cold. Nick god no. Nick couldn’t be. This couldn’t be happening. “Nick!” 

Without think I ran forward, ignoring the heat prickling on my skin. The flames were intense. There was radiation in here too. those damn Rust Devils! Damn their bots! Damn Hintzen! Damn all of them! I clawed at the rubble. The rock was hot to the touch. My fingers started to burn. 

Hands wrapped around my waist and tugged me back. 

“no! no! put me down! I’m not leaving him! put me down!!”

“Gray please!” Magnolia’s voice. She dragged me away from the church rubble. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of the truck smoking dangerously. Oh hell. 

Once that thought crossed my mind it ignited. The force of the explosion lifted us clean off our feet. we went hurtling across the street. The heat was intense. Nuclear blast probably. That thought was gone when my shoulder crashed into the pavement. I toppled head over heels until my head smashed up against a brick wall. I blacked out. 

When I woke up it was to find Magnolia’s bloody, burned face hovering over me. “oh thank god. Gray are you with us?”

“Nick….” I croaked. My throat was rough. Like I hadn’t used it in hours. Everything was sore. My hands hurt. my shoulder felt like it was on fire. None of that mattered. There was only one thought on my mind. 

Magnolia had her hands on my shoulders to keep me down. “you need to stay down Gray, you’ve got a bad concussion we were worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

“we?” out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. With a piercing headache I turned to look around. I was lying flat on my back in the middle of the road. South Boston still. There were people walking around. Minutemen. They must have seen the explosions from the Castle and come to help. why hadn’t we ran toward them? That would have been the smart thing to do. Don’t think I’d ever been more happy to see a minuteman in my life. “Nick… tell them about Nick…. We’ve gotta dig him out….”

“stay down, their medic will check on you in a second when they’re finished with John.” 

“why are you here?!” with a grunt I sat up on an elbow. My head pounded so badly I had to squint through the pain. It was all I could do not to vomit. “you should be looking for him! he could be in pain! He could be trapped! We’ve got to dig him out!”

“Vel.” 

Blinking through the pounding I looked up. There stood Violet Macready. Standing with her bright red hair gleaming in the sunlight. It had been about a month since I’d last seen her. Nothing had changed. Same old flannel shirt and jeans, same old Pipboy. Except that face. It was full of so much pain it made my heart clench. 

She knelt down beside me, gently putting hands on my shoulders. “Vel lay back down. you’ve got a bad concussion. Wait for the Stimpaks to take effect.” 

“Vi!” instead of listening to her I grasped tight onto her arms, staring pleadingly into her eyes. “Nick! He’s buried alive! Please! Get your Minutemen to dig him out! He’s in there somewhere.”

“we’re already working on it.” my clinging hands didn’t bother her, she held me as gently as if I were her kid. “but if we find him he’ll be furious that you didn’t rest. Lay back down.”

“no.” shakily I tried to stand. My legs felt like jelly under my own weight. For a second I managed to hold my own until they buckled. Magnolia eased me back to the ground.

“Gray please,” she murmured softly. “save your strength.” 

“I need to help him….”

“look.” With a wave of her hand she drew my attention back to the street. The church was nothing but a pile of bricks and mortar. Minutemen were all over it, digging by hand or with a few shovels. With that many people Nick wouldn’t be trapped for long. “see? He’s in good hands. Everything is going to be fine.” 

Violet disagreed judging by the tightness in her face. We all knew that wasn’t true. Nick had been right beside a nuclear blast then buried in a ton of brick. Ellison had done upgrades to him, I had to keep telling myself. He could take punishment more than any other synth. He might, no he was still alive down there. we just had to get him out. 

A woman with a medic bag strung over her shoulder approached us. There was already some blood on her hands which she was attempting to wipe off. “alright, Miss O'Malley is it? let me have a look at that shoulder please.” 

Violet shuffled aside to let the medic in. “I’m going to check with RJ how things are going.” 

I didn’t argue with her. I’d have been right there along with her if my damn legs would work. the medic was saying something to me, I wasn’t listening. Nick wasn’t dead. there was no way he’d been killed. Even beyond that though. Hintzen had done everything he could to keep Nick alive and moving. Hell he’d ordered Jimmy to keep both of us alive before. the hell reason would he have to go back on that now? the answer was he wouldn’t. this was just another game to him. 

It may have been the Rust Devils that attacked, but they were under Hintzen’s orders. If he’d told Darla to let Nick live you could bet your ass he’d told them too. there was more going on here than I could see. Whatever Hintzen was planning it wouldn’t be good. 

Then there was that quiet logical voice in my head. How could anyone survive a blast that close?

“Miss O'Malley?”

Blinking I forced myself to focus back in on the medic. “what?”

“can you please raise your arm for me?” 

“this is ridiculous.” I did as she asked anyway. pain lanced across my back as I raised it which I defiantly ignored. “just shove a stim in me and let me move on.” 

“General Macready asked me to ensure you get the right treatment. Please cooperate.” She sighed irritably. Probably wasn’t the first person that had tried to brush her off. “Hancock didn’t give me nearly so much trouble.”

I was about to ask where he was when the ghoul himself came wondering toward us. He didn’t have on a shirt. It still amazed me just how lanky and bony he was under all those clothes. A fresh white bandage was wrapped entirely around his chest. It looked serious. Not that you could tell from his face. “hey kiddo, about time you woke up we all thought you were dead.” 

“how long was I out for?” 

“couple hours.” He shrugged casually before crashing down to the ground beside me. blood was already beginning to leak through the bandage on his chest. Probably needed stitches but he wouldn’t sit still long enough to let her work. 

“he’s been trapped under there for two hours?” the panic was starting to rise. 

Then pain washed through my skull, I gasped. “I should stitch this laceration up. If you’d let me.”

“do it, not like she’s goin anywhere.” Hancock waved his hand, like it was his decision to make.

“you’re not in charge of me.” 

“just let her do her work.” Magnolia groaned audibly.

Sheepishly I settled back down. “fine ok, but make it quick.”

“if I do it quick it’s going to be painful.” The medic gently eased my head forward to get a better look at it. 

“I don’t care. just get it done.” 

While she set to work, Hancock and Magnolia talked over my head. “what are we going to do next?” he questioned.

She slouched over her knees. There were some pretty nasty burns on her neck. Her clothes were singed. She must have shielded me from the worst of the blast. “what are you talking about?”

“the fucking Rust Devils. They ki-” he bit his tongue.

“don’t you fucking say it.” I growled around gritted teeth. 

Out of the corner of my eye I watched his face go stony. His jaw went tight while he glanced toward what was left of the church. “kiddo….”

“don’t start.” Every plunge of the needle made me wince. I’d swing a punch at Hancock if I didn’t think it would make things worse back there. 

“I know you don’t want to think about it….”

“shut the hell up.”

“you gotta be prepared for the worst here.” He kept talking, like he’d get through. 

Joke was on him. “I said shut up. I don’t care what you say. He isn’t dead.”

He let out an airy groan, turning his face away.

Magnolia remained silent, her face totally unreadable. What was she thinking? Did she think Nick was dead too? was she already giving up on him? didn’t they get it? Nick wasn’t dead. he couldn’t be. It wouldn’t make any sense. It made no god damn sense if he was dead. he was alive, under all that rubble he was still alive. 

With a small tug the medic tied off her stitches. “alright, I’m done, let me bandage it up.” 

“not necessary.” Before any of them could stop me I surged to my feet. my legs buckled under my weight again, threatening to give out. This time I grasped onto the wall of the apartment next to us. Teeth gritted I watched the ground tilt under me. 

“you need to sit down Miss O'Malley, you won’t walk straight even if you can walk.” The medic didn’t make a move to put me back down, Magnolia was doing that for her. 

“get your hands off me! I’m not just going to sit here!” angrily I swiped away her grasp. 

My swatting wasn’t much use. She ignored my hands and pressed me up against the wall. “you can’t even fight me, you’re too weak. Just let the Minutemen take care of it.”

“I’m not leaving him!”

“I’m not asking you to, I’m asking you to let someone else do the work for a minute.” 

“shut up!” when I tried to shove her all it did was press me against the wall. “you don’t get it! you don’t love him!” 

Her face tightened. her lips turned into a tight line. Something cold wrapped around my stomach. 

Then Violet appeared around Hancock, face pale, expression dead. “Vel….”

“what? What is it?” my chest was beginning to hurt. that look. God don’t do this.

Gradually she lifted her hands. In them she carried a burned and tattered fedora. An all too familiar fedora. The same fedora Nick had put on that morning. The one I’d given him a year ago. there was a big slash in the side of it, bits of metal and circuitry clung to the fabric. Tears were already forming in Violet’s eyes. “this-this is all we found.”

Numbly I reached out to take it. it still felt warm, like it remembered the man that had worn it. my fingers traced the place where he’d always grip it to adjust it. felt the subtle indebts his metal fingers had left. Like picking lint off, I pulled off the bits of circuits still attached to it. 

“damn it!” Hancock roared, turning on the spot. 

Violet and I glanced his way before she looked back at me. “I’m so sorry Vel….”

“shut up.” I hissed. My arms dropped to my sides where they shook uncontrollably. The fedora felt incredibly heavy in my hand. “this is all you found? What about the sentry bot? it should be close to him.”

“yeah we found it.” Macready stumbled his way across the rubble toward us. There was sweat on his brow and dirt on his hands. So he’d been helping. That was more than I’d come to expect from him. “it’s a husk, completely blew apart. There are robot parts littered through the whole pile.” 

Nick’s been reduced to scrap?

The moment that question crossed my mind my heart exploded in my chest. Tears started coming hard and fast. In a pathetic moaning heap I sank to the ground. The hat was gripped so tight to my chest I was afraid I’d ruined it. This couldn’t be happening. Nick couldn’t be dead. he’d promised that he wouldn’t go out before me. How did he expect me to do any of this without him?! 

“just let it out, that’s it.” warm arms came around my shoulders and I found my face pressed into soft breasts. Magnolia held me, as if she’d held me hundreds of times before during my darkest moments. It was almost comforting. If it weren’t for the fact that we were talking about Nick being dead. 

“are you sure there ain’t anything left?!” Hancock shouted. 

“you can go look through the wreckage yourself but even if you could tell the difference between sentry bot parts and synth parts it’d take you forever.” Macready answered in a stone cold voice. 

“shouldn’t we at least try….?” Violet murmured so low I could barely hear her over the sound of my sobbing. “it doesn’t feel right. I mean… he deserves to be buried.” 

Macready huffed. “yeah, I know. But we just don’t have the man power to find … all of him….”

“you don’t know….” They all stopped talking, even Magnolia leaned back a little. teeth bared I turned my gaze up at the others. “you don’t know if he’s dead.”

“Vel….” Violet shook her head, face twisting up with grief. She wanted to cry, break down just the same as me, you could see it in those tears that clung to her eyes. she couldn’t afford that, not in front of her Minutemen. “this hurts I get it, but denial is just going to make it worse. There’s nothing we can do.”

“you didn’t find his body!!” while tears kept pouring down my face I surged to my feet. the world no longer tilted, my head didn’t ache. All of that was forgotten in the wake of the agony exploding in my chest. 

Macready took a step forward, waving his arm. “look! There’s nothing to find Vel! That explosion tore him apart!” 

“we could keep looking….” Violet had her eyes on the ground between us. A few tears starting to leak. “maybe we can find… something…. but we may never find anything Vel….” 

“that’s not how you get to her.” Suddenly Hancock strode forward. He gripped me by the front of the shirt, hoisting me against the wall. “the wasteland is a fucked up place kiddo, ya know that. We’re all gonna die someday, it was Valentine’s turn to pay the ferryman. It hurts, it hurts a fuck ton, but that’s life. Do ya think he’d want you to spend the rest of your life trying to piece him back together?”

“how can you say that?!” his words bit harder than anything Macready or Violet could have said. The tears came in a fresh wave. “he’s your friend! You’re brothers! And you’re just going to give up on him like that? How can you do this John?!”

“it’s cause I loved him like a brother that I gotta let him go.” He muttered hoarsely. 

My jaw fell open in astonishment. Pleadingly I looked around at all the others, searching for someone to make sense. Violet was all out crying now. tears flooded her face hard and fast. Beside her Macready stood stoically, face inscrutable. Besides the hand he had wrapped around Violet’s you wouldn’t even know he cared. Magnolia had her face hidden behind a curtain of black hair. 

“you’re all a bunch of fuckers!” I tore Hancock’s hands from my shirt then staggered to put distance between us. When I was a few feet back I span on them, fists shaking, Nick’s fedora still in hand. “you’re giving up on him!! half of you weren’t even there and you’re giving up on him!!”

“we’re only trying to do what he’d want….” Violet cried into her hands. Macready hugged her tight against his chest. 

“to hell with what he’d want!!” my shouting was beginning to draw some attention from the minutemen. No ignoring a hysterical woman screaming at the top of her lungs. Fuck them, they needed to hear this too. “what if it were one of us?! What if one of us was missing? What the hell do you think he would do?! Would he stand around feeling sorry for himself!? Convinced that we were dead?!” 

“he is dead!” Macready roared. “no one could have survived the destruction! He’d get that!”

“but that wouldn’t stop him getting proof! He wouldn’t close the case until he’d found a body! Until he’d found god damn proof that we were dead! he wouldn’t rest until he’d found all the evidence he needed! How in the hell can any of you not do the same for him?!” 

“there’s no evidence to find. There’s not going to be a body.” Hancock sounded dead when he spoke next. All the fight drained right out of him. miserably he took a syringe out of his pocket. No idea what it was and frankly I didn’t want to know. 

“you make me sick!” so sick I wanted to throw up, or maybe that was from all the bruising I’d taken. My body wasn’t in great shape. “you’re all a bunch of selfish bastards! You don’t care! he’s always just been another synth to you!”

“that isn’t true!” Violet snapped her eyes on me. “he’s like a father to me! I love him! but we can’t hold onto him if there’s no hope.”

“hope! Don’t talk to me about hope!” legs were starting to shake. Wasn’t sure how long I could keep this up before they’d give out. “you’d do anything for any human but cause Nick’s a synth you don’t give a damn! Well fuck you!”

“that ain’t fair.” Hancock murmured dreamily. 

I scoffed at his blank expression. “and you! you’re fucking dulling yourself so you don’t have to feel this! you fucking piece of shit! He’d kick your ass. And you!” next I jabbed a finger at Macready. “you couldn’t give two shits about him! even after everything he did for you, you won’t even lose any sleep over this!”

“Vel stop.” Violet tried to cut me off. 

“fine!” furiously I span on a heel, striding up the road. 

“stop! Vel please wait!” footsteps came running after me.

“stay away from me or I’ll shoot you!” I snarled over my shoulder. they were all a bunch of frauds. They pretended they were friends but when the real tests came they failed to measure up. They made me sick. Why the hell should I care what any of them thought? 

Then again, if they were convinced that he was dead, why wasn’t I? was it just denial?

I got pretty far before my legs finally turned to jelly. While another wave of tears and sobbing wracked my shoulders I collapsed against a wall. Exhaustion was finally setting in again. How had I even gotten this far? The fedora was all crumpled in my fist. My Pipboy gleamed in the morning light. 

The Pipboy…. 

Excitement flooded my chest. If he was still in the commonwealth, no matter where he was, then there should still be a signal. I could find him! no matter where he was, I could find him! quickly I dialed in to the frequency. For several heart pounding minutes I listened to the static play over the speakers. Desperate to hear the tiniest blip. Even a quiet little beep. Anything. Something. god please. 

But the static droned on. 

Alone in that alley I let myself cry like I’d never cried before. it felt like a piece of myself was missing. Missing. Not dead. no matter what they said I wouldn’t believe that Nick was dead. he couldn’t be. I believed with all of my heart that he was still alive. How? I had no idea. But stranger things had happened. 

Soft footfalls reached my ears. If it was a raider maybe it’d be better if it just killed me now. sure as hell end this pain pretty quick. Instead whoever it was sat beside me. a warm shoulder pressed against mine. “I don’t believe he’s dead.”

Blinking passed the tears I looked at Magnolia. There weren’t any tear stains on her cheeks, or even the hint of confusion. She glared at the opposite wall like it had been the one that attacked Nick. “you don’t?”

“no.” she shook her head, hands clasped over the top of her knees. “it doesn’t make any sense. I watched Rust Devils avoid hitting him with their weapons. When he was open none of them took the shot. my guess, they were under orders not to kill him.”

I hadn’t noticed that. It was a nice story though. I was damn happy to grasp it like I was still clinging to Nick’s hat. “so…what’s it mean then? The sentry bot did bash him into the church and it did explode…. I mean…. How can anyone survive that?”

She gave me a sidelong look. “you’re starting to sound like everyone else.” 

I set my jaw and glared at the wall. 

“do you think he’s dead?”

“no.”

“then we’ve got a lot of work to do.” She got to her feet with a groan.

Jaw hanging open I stared up at her. “we? What work?”

“finding Nick.” Her hand extended to me, palm up.

For a second I stared at it, confused, then looked to her. “if he’s not dead then where is he? He’s not just down at the power noodles getting a bowl. And the beacon… isn’t working….” My heart clenched. 

Magnolia let her hand fall back to her side. She glared down at me, like she was disgusted with what she saw. “are you going to let all of that stop you? where’s that woman I saw five minutes ago? where’s the detective that Nick’s in love with? I thought you were better than this.” 

“I just….” Miserably I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. Like I stood a chance of plugging up my tears or something. “how am I going to do this without him? I’m not a detective, not like him. if he was here and I was missing he’d know what to do. He’d already have a plan. I’ve got nothing….” 

“stop feeling sorry for yourself and think. If Nick’s not dead, and he’s not here, then what happened?” 

She was leading me by the nose to the answer and she shouldn’t have to. It was obvious who was behind this. Nick only had one enemy left worth mentioning. Hintzen. Hintzen was behind the Rust Devils. Hintzen had ordered Irma to be killed. Hintzen had toyed with Nick for years. if Hintzen wanted Nick dead, he’d have at least killed him himself. So if Nick wasn’t dead, and he wasn’t here, then “Hintzen has him.” 

I looked up at Magnolia while she nodded grimly. “we need to finish what Nick started. If we find Hintzen, we find Nick. Then we’ll kill Hintzen, and end this once and for all.” She thrust her hand down to me. “are you with me? Detective O'Malley?” 

Sucking in a long breath I grabbed her hand. with her help I found my feet. they didn’t wobble quite as bad as they had before. once steady I looked her in the eye. “alright. The biggest lead we have is the way Hintzen communicates. If he communicates with all of his people through radio that has to lead somewhere. Do you know anything about how radios work?”

“no, no idea.”

“hm.” A finger to my chin I contemplated the ground. Nick would always say if you didn’t know enough, find someone that did. “Ellison should. The Brotherhood uses long range transmitters all the time. She’ll know what kind of equipment Hintzen would need to broadcast orders to all his contacts.”

“then it’s back to Goodneighbor.” She strode for the end of the alley. As confident as if this were just another case. I only hoped that some of that confidence would rub off on me. 

We walked up the road and out of South Boston. With any luck we’d get to Goodneighbor before Hancock got back. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want to talk to any of them. Not cause of my outburst, couldn’t care less what they thought of me after that. Because of their refusal to believe Nick was still alive. 

“hey… Magnolia….” 

“yeah?” she looked over her shoulder at me. 

Hesitation made me pause before I answered. “thanks for believing me, and believing in Nick….” 

A gentle, loving smile spread her face. she turned back on the road. The fedora slipped from my hand and she carefully placed it on my head. For a few seconds she adjusted it, tilting it just the same way Nick always did. When she was satisfied she looked me in the eye. “I don’t just believe in Nick Gray. He believes in you, so I believe in you.” 

I blushed. “thanks….” 

“now lets focus on bringing Nick home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late on this one guys, yesterday got busy. I went on a hike that took me up the side of a cliff for fun and today i'm reminded of the bad knee. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you're all enjoying it, thank you so much for reading. and until next time Write On!


	16. History Repeated

“help!! please someone help!”

“what’s going on?”

“oh god!”

“get her inside now!”

Someone took Gray’s limp cold body from my arms. Her blood stained my shirt. There was so much blood. how the hell did this happen? Her stomach was covered in it. I chased them down, desperate to keep her close. They disappeared through a set of doors. Someone stood between me and it. “get out of my way! That’s my fiancé!” 

“I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to wait out here.” 

“Get out of my way!”

“I need transfusions! Someone get me dressings, clamps! Hurry!” 

There was a window. I stared in through it. I couldn’t see her. Gray was surrounded by so many people that I didn’t even glimpse her. They were hooking her up to machines circling the bed. I hadn’t seen so much medical gear since waking up in the commonwealth. Then the beeping. That god damn beeping. Keeping track of her heart rate, as slow as it was. 

With my hands pressed against the glass I leaned in. for split seconds at a time the people inside there were wearing scrubs and lab coats. Then they were back to normal. the room swam. It was pure white and clean one moment, then run down and tattered the next. My stomach twisted. I wanted to throw up. For a brief second I caught a glimpse of her. Gray was pale as a sheet, face slack. There was a smear of blood on her face. 

Then for a split second I saw her. Jenny lying there, just as pale, her hair covered in blood. 

It was happening all over again. History repeating itself. Jenny had died on the operating table. Nick had stood right where I was, watching while the docs worked to keep her alive. That’s when everything had gone wrong. That’s when we’d both been put on this damn path.

“we’re losing her!”

“get me more blood!”

“sponges! I need to see what I’m doing!”

My legs gave out. Started crying. Didn’t have any tear ducts so all I could manage was the moaning side of things. With my forehead pressed against the glass I listened to the beeping. “please Gray… please. Not you too.”

The beeping was slowing down. getting quieter. 

“shit, I can’t stop the bleeding. The bullet tore open her artery.”

“what do we do?”

There’s nothing you can do. My vision was starting to go. This was too much for my robot body to handle. There was too much pain here. How had this happened? How had I failed her so badly? First Jenny now her. God. I couldn’t protect anyone.

The beeping stopped, the room fell silent. I couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t feel, couldn’t see. My body shut itself down like it was trying to protect me. 

When I woke up everything was a mess. Not talking about the place, I was talking about my head. Couldn’t make sense of it. conflicting memories, time stamps that weren’t lining up. My brain said one thing but my heart said another. For a minute the last thing I remembered was getting bashed by a Sentry bot. everything went black after that right up until Gray got shot. Gray.

I sat bolt upright. Someone squealed nearby. Gray. Where was she? There was no way she was dead. I couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t believe it. where the hell was I? finally I took a good look around the room. whoever these people were must not have known what a synth was. They had me lying in a soft bed. Some kind of hospital room, whatever that meant these days in the wasteland. A man stood up against a wall. He wasn’t threatening in the slightest. To say nothing of his ratted t-shirt and jeans, he had his hands up. 

“it’s ok…. Uh everything’s fine…. You should lay back down. I’ll go get-” he squealed again when I leapt to my feet.

In a flash I had him pinned against the wall by the shirt collar. “where is she?”

“I don’t kno-”

I shook him hard, smacking his head against the wall. “where?!”

His eyes wandered, dazed. Damn it. he wasn’t going to help me. fiercely I tossed him to the ground where he stayed in a ball. Useless. I had to find Gray. She wasn’t dead, there was no way. This place. It left me with a bad feeling. It was too nice. Too clean. Heh, when had that started bothering me? probably since the institute. 

Whether these people were friendly or not I wasn’t about to stick around to find out. I left that man on the ground, striding out the door. my room was just as nice as the rest of the building. Clean walls, painted. Not like the scrap iron buildings in Diamond City. It was practically nice. Well lit too. and deserted, at least for a moment.

Finding Gray was my priority but where should I even start? I didn’t remember this building. How’d I even get here? All I had to go on were jumbled memories of Gray dying on an opp- no not that thought. That thought would just freeze me. Couldn’t afford to think about that. 

Left or right. I broke left. Might as well have been a coin toss. There were doors on either side, some open, some closed. They all looked like my room. was this really some kind of hospital? I hadn’t even heard of an operational one anywhere in the commonwealth. Not on this scale anyway. where the hell was I then?

My feet carried me to a set of stairs leading down. cautiously I took them, listening for anyone coming up to me. my weapon was gone. It didn’t mean I couldn’t fight. If they had guns though, my chances weren’t good. Whoever these people were, I had to get out of here fast. Preferably without being spotted. After I found Gray.

I wouldn’t believe it until I found her.

Soon came to the next landing. Didn’t look like the ground floor but suddenly I wasn’t alone. There was a short hallway before the building opened up into one big room. there were people here, slouching in chairs, looking exhausted. Some I recognized. Their faces were shadows in my memory. They’d been trying to save Gray. 

All the gratitude I might have felt because of that meant nothing under all my questions. They wouldn’t give it to me straight. And I couldn’t exactly face them with no gun to my name. then there was the other matter of the stairs being on the far side of the building. Through the big room with potential hostiles. And I didn’t even have a hat to hide my face even if I thought it might help. 

Casually as I could manage I strode across the room. for a few seconds nobody paid me any mind. the stairwell was within sight. This might actually work, as stupid as that sounded. Then reality reasserted itself. “hey! What are you doing?!”

“hell, someone call Josef!” 

“please, don’t run.” 

They were already chasing me. who knew what they’d do if they caught up to me. wasn’t about to stick around to find out. I bounded through the doorway into the next set of stairs. I almost tumbled down the first steps, ramming hard into the wall at the bottom. Made it easy to change direction. Right into three people waiting at the bottom. 

Ended up going down with them in a tangle of limbs. Hands tried to hold me down, there was shouting. I cracked an elbow against a temple then shoved another guy into the last. Once free I scrambled to my feet. people were coming down the stairs. No time. I had to find Gray, but how was I going to do that with these damn people chasing me? when had things gone so bad? 

Blindly I tore off down the hall, with other doors lining it. They all looked the same. Definitely a hospital. Felt like a rat in a maze. Damn it. where was I even going? There were windows but they were curtained. What floor was this? was there more? I sprinted through the halls to a set of double doors. Without looking back I crashed through them into bright sunlight.

And came to a dead stop.

A field, about the size of a football field stretched before me. buildings lined it. Farms stretched the length of the field right up to a wall and gate at the far end. There were people. Most of them didn’t notice me, or didn’t care. families and people going about their business, happy. There was grass, even trees. It felt like stepping through a time warp. 

This is what the world before the war might have been like. The people certainly looked as happy as the ones Nick had memories of. it made no sense. A place like this shouldn’t exist in the wasteland. Where the hell was I? 

Standing still in the middle of the road I was starting to draw attention. men and woman stopped in the path to stare, mouths agape. Probably never seen a synth. Or something like that. Those that noticed me were already starting to form a circle around me. it was then that I knew it, there was no getting out of here. Even if I made it to the gates you could bet your bottom dollar it’d be well guarded. I was trapped.

“I really wish you’d have given me the chance to introduce you to the community before running off like this.” 

A warm husky voice spoke off to my right. slowly I turned to face him. He was a tall dark skinned man. His dark brown eyes stared intensely. Looks like that were common from Wastelanders. Except he didn’t look like a wastelander. He had nice clothes, even his boots looked new. His hair was buzzed close to his skull. 

“hey friend, the name’s Malik King. Friends call me Mal.” He splayed his hands, palms out. There was nothing in his stance or face that said he was a danger. 

As he took a step forward I took a step back. “where am I?”

His brows knitted together in sympathy. “can’t say I’m surprised you don’t remember, our scavvers found you in the ruins all beat up.” 

“you didn’t answer my question.” 

“sorry, we call this little piece of Eden Deven. What you’re seeing is what’s left of the basic training fort that used to be here back before the war.” With a wave of his hand he drew my attention back to the buildings. 

Now that he mentioned it I could see it. the military regulation, the white washed walls. These buildings were probably the barracks. It was all in good shape too. almost too good. Plenty of repairs sure, but they were good. 

“look, I know you’re probably confused and scared.” King drew my gaze back to him. his shoulders were relaxed, his hands unclenched. He didn’t even have a weapon on him. in fact no one did. That was unheard of. even Diamond city you’d see everyone with something on their hip. The more I saw the more alien this settlement got. Or the more pre war it looked. “it’s a lot to take in. why don’t you come with me. can introduce you to the missus. We can chat.”

Enticing offer. Didn’t much like all the eyes that were on me here. None of them were challenging or even scared. If anything they were curious. Made me feel like a spectacle. Getting off the streets was preferable to this. I wasn’t about to go anywhere until this guy had answered one question though. “the woman I came in with, the one that was shot, where is she? Where is Gray?”

When King grimaced it was so deeply emotional it almost made me take it back. he looked genuinely weighed down by the news he carried. “our surgeon worked on her for hours but… she didn’t make it….”

“where is she?!” I repeated a little louder.

More grimacing, sympathetic. Either he was the best damn actor on the planet, or he really did care. “are you sure you don’t want to talk about this privately?”

“where?”

With a long sigh he dropped his head forward. “her body is with Mr. Hintzen.”

My heart went cold and sank right to the pit of my stomach. that was the last answer I’d been waiting for. The last answer I was even expecting. Hintzen was here? And more importantly he’d taken Gray from me? these people were in on it too. I just knew it. Furious I strode forward. King didn’t even flinch when I grabbed him by the shirt and hauled him up. “you’re going to take me to that bastard or I swear to god I’ll ….”

He was calm in the face of my rage. Unblinking like some kind of patient statue. “you don’t strike me as the kind of man that enjoys violence. I doubt you’ll do anything. If you put me down and follow me back to my home I can help clear up any confusion that you might have.” 

What would arguing get me? a long winded speech about how he wouldn’t tell me anything and then probably a pummeling from the crowd. They were all watching me warily now. there were some armored men and women among them now too. the guards maybe? They’d have weapons. They could do some real damage. So there was finally some danger. 

And if Hintzen was here that danger was ten fold. 

So slowly I dropped King back to the ground. The crowd untensed. King adjusted his shirt, smiling at me with the most sincere face I’d ever seen. “thank you. now if you follow me please. All the rest of you get back to work, there isn’t anything to see here.”

The crowd drifted away with the air of disappointment. A few lingered for a few seconds to continue staring. Again there wasn’t any malicious intent behind their eyes as far as I could see. I knew what the difference was. Most people in the wasteland were suspicious, hostile, crazy or a combination of all three. These people were none of that. They were some of the most well adjusted people I’d ever seen. It made no sense that they were living in the wasteland.

King waited until he had my attention back before leading me down a gravel path around the edge of the field. As we walked he gestured around the settlement. “so this is Deven, our own little slice of paradise in this shitty world. We’ve got farms and green houses up and down the main lawn, ya can see them from here. That building you ran out of is our hospital. Mr. Hintzen’s helped us make the best with what we’ve got and in terms of medicine we’re better off than most settlements.” 

Silently I nodded, soaking in all the information I could. One thing that’d kept me alive over the years was knowing more than the next guy. New settlement, new surroundings, new people. I had to learn everything I could and fast if I stood a chance here. On top of that Gray. On top of that Hintzen. Things couldn’t be any worse. 

Well I guess they could. I could be locked in a cell instead of getting a tour. 

“the building next to the hospital is what you might call our community building. We use it for gatherings. There’s a library, sort of, on the top floor where we hold classes for the kids. there’s a big kitchen in there and a dining hall that we use for special occasions. Most of the barracks have fully functional cooking stations too though, and you can see some of the others we’ve got dotted around the lawn.” King pointed a few out to me. tiny trails of smoke billowed up from small groupings of people. Some other people were in the fields working, or delivering supplies from one side of the campus to the next. All very peaceful. Too peaceful. 

“the barracks are the originals but they were just big open floor plans when we moved in. we’ve done some work to make apartments for some of the families, nothing special just walled off some sections.” King continued happily, like he was just so excited to finally be bragging to someone about his settlement. “down there at the far end is the main gate. That’s where our market, inn and bar is at. We take visitors pretty regularly.”

“so you don’t isolate yourselves?” that surprised me deeply. With as well as things seemed to be going here I’d have expected them to shut themselves off. Hell if Hintzen was running the place that’d make it easier for him to control them. Didn’t make any sense.

King though smiled brightly, like it was obvious. “nah course not, we’re not totally self sustained. And there’s only fifty of us here right now, counting kids. inbreeding would be a problem if we cut ourselves off.” 

“hm.” The rest of the commonwealth didn’t exactly have a fear of that. If the raider population was any indication.

King came to a stop in front of one of the barracks buildings. He smiled proudly up at it. someone had taken the time to build a new door into one leg of the u-shaped building. All the buildings were like that. “and this is mine. I guess you don’t eat but the missus will be cooking right about now. come on in.” 

The apartment was warm and inviting. It felt like a home, not just a place to live. Whatever was cooking filled the place with delicious smells that would have made my mouth water if I were capable of it. a radio played some old classics quietly in a corner. There were comfortable rugs on the floor, drapes on the windows and furniture in good shape. All in all a nice place. 

A woman with long flowing black hair stood at a stove against the wall in the back. She hummed along with the music, adding a warm harmony to it. she turned when she heard us come in, her eye brows shot up. “Mal, is this…?”

“This is Tasha, my wife. Tasha this is…. I don’t think I caught your name.” King raised his brows at me.

“the name’s Nick Valentine.” In the best attempt at manners I could manage, I held out my hand to her.

She shook it, the suspicion not quite disappearing. “you’re the man that came in. nobody said you were a robot.”

“is that a problem?”

“not really, there are plenty of robots here. Just none like you.” Tasha switched her gaze back to King, her face screwed up a little. “Sweetie, you smell like a sewer, go clean up. The kids will be home soon and I’m not having you stinking up the living room.”

His shoulders slouched a little but he laughed. “come on Tash, you’ll make Nick think I don’t wear the pants.”

“that’s because I do, now go.” She swatted at him with her hand towel. 

Laughing King headed for the door. “won’t take me long. Be back in a second. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable Nick.” 

“thank you….” there was no way I’d get comfortable. Not in a place like this. awkwardly I stood in the middle of the room. King left and Tasha turned her attention back to the stove. Casually I started perusing the pictures on one wall. While my mind wondered.

Hintzen controlled this settlement. I must have figured that out and brought Gray here. I didn’t remember getting here. I didn’t even remember what here was. That wasn’t so strange. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d had some memory problems after a bad fight. Every time I tried to think about it things got jumbled and weird. I could see Gray on the operating table, then I could see her running up a street in South Boston. That would be one hell of a memory gap. Gray couldn’t be dead. Hintzen was planning something. And these people were in on it. they had to be. Why else would Hintzen do this? keep me alive? I had to find Gray. That was my priority. 

“Mr. Valentine.” Tasha’s voice shook me clean out of my thoughts. 

“yeah?” when I turned it was to find her staring me dead in the eye. 

I got the distinct impression of staring a Deathclaw mother in the face. an experience that I had had once, when Gray was with me. “my husband is a trusting man, and he’s a good man. He has to be to run Deven. That said, if you betray his trust you’ll have me to deal with.” 

“believe me Mrs. King. I have no intention of betraying him.” only the man that was really in charge of Deven. 

That didn’t abate any of her suspicion. If anything her face went even darker. Narrowed eyes cut me like twin knives. “I don’t trust outsiders. Mal grew up here, he doesn’t know what it’s like out there, I do. So if you betray him or our community I’ll make sure you pay.”

I scrutinized her with a set of fresh eyes. her darker skin, the lines around her eyes. the scars poking out from under her sleeves and her collar. That was a wastelander. Finally something familiar. 

“put me down daddy!”

“not a chance niblet!” 

Tasha went back to the stove, any tension in the air between us gone as the door crashed open. King came tumbling in, a girl of about eight years old stuffed under one of his arms. A boy, maybe eleven, hung onto his neck. “put her down Supermutant!” 

“arg!” King cried, pretending to be dragged down by the boy. Once he was on his knees the girl wriggled free. Together she and her brother pinned him to the ground. “arg! Stupid humans got me! arg!”

“that’s what you get for trying to take my sister Supermutant!” the boy bounced a little on King’s chest which made him huff. 

The girl giggled.

“alright that’s enough.” Tasha called with a clap of her hands. “Mark, Cate, go wash up before dinner please.” 

“but mooooom.” Mark moaned. 

I chuckled.

Which got his attention. he slipped off his father, head tilted a little in my direction. He’d inherited his mother’s intense stare but his father’s features. “are you that robot man that came through the gates?” 

“Mark that’s rude.” King sat up off the floor. He tried to look reprimanding but his face clearly wasn’t used to making the expression. 

“no, it’s alright. Robot’s nicer than most things.” I dropped to a knee, smiling as best I could at the boy. “yeah, I’m a robot. my name’s Nick Valentine.”

“that’s a funny name.” his face scrunched up. 

Cate giggled to herself from where she clung to her dad’s leg. “I think it’s cool.”

“thank you.” I flashed her a smile. 

Shyly she hid further behind King. 

“alright you two, lets go get cleaned up or mama will have our hides.” King scooped Cate into his arms. 

They left but Mark stuck around for a minute to scrutinize me further. Kids were cute cause they weren’t shy about staring. They were just curious and confused. So long as they’d never seen an institute synth before. “you’re not like the other robots.”

“what other robots?” I hadn’t seen any yet. 

The boy shrugged. “ya know, the other ones, out by that big creepy building.”

“what building?”

“Mark that’s enough, go get cleaned up, food’s gonna get cold.” Tasha called from the table.

“fine.” Scowling like only an eleven year old could, he scurried out the door.

It wasn’t long before we were all seated at the table, the kids washed up, and King smiling broadly. “so work’s going pretty good on the pipeline. We’ve almost got all the buildings hooked up to the new pump. Once we’ve got that done we’ll connect it to what’s left of the main.” 

“so you’re that close to actual indoor plumbing?” to say that I was astonished would be an understatement. If there was one thing I didn’t expect to see in the wasteland anytime soon it was working toilets. Outside of vaults that is. 

King nodded, puffing out his chest like he couldn’t be any prouder. “that we are! We’ve got a building just south of here that doubles as our power plant and water purification. Up till this point we’ve been relying on transporting the water by hand and small generators throughout the town. with those nuclear generators all we’ve gotta do is keep up a supply of fusion cores.” 

It all sounded too good to be true. Diamond city was well off but it wasn’t anywhere near this well off. Never even heard of a settlement like this. it all made sense when you considered who was behind the place. “so I suppose Hintzen is the mind behind the work?”

“that’s right.” King’s face went a little blank, not quite defensive but I couldn’t place what else to call it. with his hands clasped around his glass he leaned forward. “Nick, I don’t know what you’ve heard about Mr. Hintzen but let me assure you that none of it is true. He’s been good to us for years now.”

“I don’t doubt that.” With folded arms I leaned back in my chair. It wasn’t hard to imagine that these people were unconditionally loyal to that scumbag. Speaking out against him was liable to get me locked up. Until I knew that any of these people had their suspicions about Hintzen I wasn’t about to voice mine. “But if he’s so good, why did he take Gray?” 

“Nick… she’s gone….”

“I won’t believe that until I see her body.” 

“trust me, trust Mr. Hintzen.” 

“would you trust a complete stranger if they told you Tasha was gone?”

That struck the right nerve, he looked totally stricken by the thought. 

Tasha rose abruptly. “Mark, Cate, it’s time for bed.”

“but mom, it’s not nine yet!” Mark protested loudly. 

“bed, now.” with a hand she steered him toward the door. 

“better do what your mom says Mark.” The only people I’d smiled genuinely to since waking up were those two kids. they were cute. Reminded me a hell of a lot of Violet’s kids. damn it. how was I gonna get home? One piece at a time. Had to find Gray first. 

Tasha cast me a glare before she and the kids disappeared into the next room. 

Once they were out of ear shot King sat forward. “you’re going through a lot, I get it. I can talk to Mr. Hintzen tomorrow. If he lets you see her will you be satisfied?” 

“yeah.” What kind of tricks would that bastard pull then? At least that would get me close to him. 

“then what? What will you do?” 

“that depends on what he shows me.” 

“would you consider staying?”

My jaw dropped. Did he honestly think I’d be willing to stay here? This wasn’t my home. Even if Hintzen wasn’t directly involved with the damn place I couldn’t stay. I had to get back home eventually. Who knew what was going on back at the Commonwealth. If Gray wasn’t here I’d have already left. “I’m not staying King, thanks for the offer.” 

Sighing disappointedly he dropped his head forward. “I understand. I hope you’ll reconsider. I have a feeling you’d fit in here. We could use someone like you.” 

“no offense, but I’d rather go home than stick around for much longer.” 

“I couldn’t agree more.” Tasha returned from the other room, severe looking as ever. 

King grimaced at her but nodded. “alright, I’ll talk to Mr. Hintzen first in the morning. Until then you can go back to the hospital or you can sleep on our couch.”

“I don’t sleep anyway, couch will be fine.” Didn’t want to go back to the hospital. They’d no doubt put guards on my door to keep me in. I wasn’t about to let them. My chances were better staying here than there. 

“you’re welcome to it.” King flashed me his best attempt at an encouraging smile. It was only dampened by his wife glaring at me from over his shoulder. 

I helped them clean up dinner, even though I hadn’t touched any of it. they said goodnight and disappeared into the next room. in the silence of the night I sat alone on the couch. A dim glow leaked in from the cracks in the curtains. 

What did I know? 

This wasn’t the commonwealth. I’d never heard of Deven before in my life, but Nick had memories about the fort. He’d never been, he knew people that had. So it couldn’t be that far. Especially if I’d traveled here with Gray. So getting home was an option. If I only knew what way to walk.

Hintzen was in charge. Whatever good he might have done for this place was nothing compared to the evils he’d enacted. It made me wonder why he’d chose to help these people. It was a shield, obviously. If he made them loyal to him then he could hide behind them while they killed his enemies. Smart move. 

Except one big mistake. He’d let me in. and he’d taken Gray from me. she wasn’t dead. I refused to believe it. I wouldn’t believe it until I saw her body. And I wouldn’t give up on her until then. If he had her, then I needed to get to that big building. Whatever building Mark meant. It was probably isolated. Surrounded by robots if Mark was to be believed. How was I going to find it, let alone get inside? Hintzen wasn’t exactly going to open his doors to me. 

I dropped back so far into my own thoughts I lost track of time. Didn’t come to until a finger poked me in the arm. blinking I focused in on Mark standing in front of me in a set of Red Rocket pajamas. “hey mister.”

“shouldn’t you be in bed?” I grinned for his benefit. He reminded me so much of Danny. Judging by the look in his eye he had just the same track record of mischief as the boy. It made me a little homesick. 

That scowl he shot me practically was a carbon copy of Danny too. “don’t you want help to find your friend?”

In spite of myself, I sat forward eagerly. I was starting to sense that Mark would be the best ally I could ask for. Finger pressed to my lips I leaned in. “do you know where I can find her?”

He nodded silently. Smart boy knew what I was getting at so he dropped his voice too. “if Mr. Hintzen took her to his building it’s outside the walls, just north east of here.” 

North east. Didn’t exactly narrow it down. but if it was surrounded by robots maybe it wouldn’t make it that hard to spot. “thanks Mark, you’ve done me one heck of a favor.”

Before I could stand he grabbed my arm. “you’ll never get there with all the guards on the walls and the robots around his house. But I know a way in.”

“do you?” I tried to temper my anticipation. A kid outsmarting Hintzen? If that were possible then I’d been choosing the wrong partners for the last few years. still it was better than nothing. 

“there’re these old tunnels that connect all the buildings in town. some of them are collapsed or sealed off. There’s one leading from the kitchen in the cafeteria to Mr. Hintzen’s lab. It’s usually sealed up.” 

I cocked a brow. “and how do you know about this?”

Sheepishly he averted his eyes, the same way Danny did when he was about to confess to doing something incredibly stupid. “me and some friends found it… we snuck in once. Just once. You’re not gonna tell mom and dad are you?”

Quietly I chuckled. I slapped him on the shoulder lightly. “it’ll be our secret. Thanks boss, I owe you big time for this.” 

Beaming he took a step back. “you better hurry. If dad sees you missing he’ll ground you.”

I almost laughed out loud. Getting grounded was the very least of my concerns. “get back to bed. I’ll report back when I’ve found what I’m looking for.” 

“you better.” 

I waited until he’d gone back to bed before creeping out of the house into the night. 

I’m coming Gray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, sorry for the lateness on this one, i meant to post on thursday before i left for camping but things got too hectic, and i'm home early so at least you're getting this one day late instead of two.
> 
> second, Deven. yeah i know, i'm veering off Fallout cannon hard core now, and honestly i feel like this is a dumb way to do it too, making a new location to do it. Hintzen's plot i was ok with, but writing Deven feels a bit too far to me. what do you all think? Actually, after my trip to Boston and visiting Fort Warren i wanted to use that fort as the setting for this part of C/E, but i didn't have time to rewrite all of the last half of the story. So you get Deven instead, which is actually a real world town originally built for military training, go google it if you want. Warren will just have to be used for something else one day. 
> 
> anyway, enough explanations, thank you everybody for giving me your time! hope you're enjoying the ride. see you all next week. till then write on!


	17. Gotem?

“well, well, when they said the infamous Magnolia herself wanted to parley with me I have to admit, I was shocked.” The dumbest looking man I’d ever seen lounged in front of us like a prick. He had a dumb looking Mohawk running down his head. A stupid mustache that looked more like a black caterpillar had died on his lip. Leather armor that barely covered the essentials. And a cod piece that was clearly too large for what it held. 

All of these would have come pouring out of my mouth if I was the one talking. Thankfully Magnolia was taking point on this. she crossed her legs, showing off how long they were as casually as if it were a gun. “the Gunners aren’t what they used to be but after the Triggermen were decimated you’re the only force worth mentioning. Besides the Minutemen of course. Isn’t that right Captain Wes?”

A mixture of pride and anger flickered across his face. she’d just insulted and complimented him at the same time. That woman should really go into politics. She’d probably get elected over McDonough just from sheer crowd appeal. “those Minutemen will turn on each other like they’ve always done, wait and see.”

“of course.” She laughed musically, leaning forward to pick up the beer they’d brought her. For a moment she reminded me of the mistress of mystery. I guess that made me the Silver Shroud? Minus the romance of course. “why do you think I’ve come to you? I need an investment that’ll return. The Minutemen aren’t a safe investment.” 

“and what about her.” Wes’ beady little eyes fell on me and I tried not to squirm with disgust. this whole plan hinged on me going unnoticed. Should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. “what’s the snoop got to do with this?”

“turns out, being a detective doesn’t pay well.” I shrugged in a way I hoped was cold and unfeeling. Truth was it was taking all my willpower not to shoot him and blow everything up right here and now. 

“so she’s thrown in with me.” Magnolia finished effectively drawing Wes’ attention off me. “now lets discuss what we can do for each other. I can hand Goodneighbor over to you but first I need some assurances that you’re a good investment.”

“who would have thought Magnolia would turn on Hancock like this. and you, aren’t you his little brat?”

I stiffened. God damn it where the hell were those reinforcements? 

Wes smirked like he was having some kind effect over me. “yeah I heard all about you O'Malley. You’re friends with that general bitch right?”

“friends is being generous.” Especially after I blew up at her. 

“whatever, from what I hear, you’re not the type to betray your friends.” 

“you don’t know me.”

“can we please continue our negotiations?” Magnolia was sensing the same thing I was. This conversation was going off the rails in a bad way. If it went any worse I’d pull my gun. Too bad they’d taken our weapons from us. I felt off balance without it.

Behind us the doors opened and closed. Four more Gunners walked in. that made it six to two. The odds were shit even by a gambling addict’s definition. They all came to stand in a circle around us. Wes grinned. Someone stood at my shoulder. Something cold pressed against my hand behind Magnolia’s back. 

“tell you what Magnolia, we’ll pledge our support to you, if you give us over O'Malley.”

“what?!” my eyes snapped wide.

Magnolia waved her hand to silence me. “and why would I hand my partner over to you?”

“good faith?” he shrugged. “you want us don’t you? that’s the price.”

“and why do you want her exactly?”

“that’s our business.”

The cold thing pressed against my hand was the handle of my gun. Hiding my pleasure with a scowl I took it. out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of scarred skin under a Gunner bandana. 

“I don’t betray my partners like a common thug.” Sounding genuinely insulted, Magnolia rose suddenly. 

All the Gunners in the room tensed, except for three. Wes, the one at my shoulder, and another one that was extremely distracted by the safe in the corner. “sit down woman, you’re not going anywhere.” 

“is that so?” she stared down her nose at him, absolute disgust plastered over her face. 

“that’s so.” Like that was some kind of signal the Gunners pulled their weapons. Two handguns and a crow bar. Except no one was pointing weapons at us yet. Their mistake. “this room is sound proof so nobody’s gonna hear you scream.”

Magnolia sighed heavily. “well then I suppose there’s no point standing on pleasantries.”

I stepped left, the ghoul Gunner stepped right. between the two of us we easily brought down the three Gunners with their weapons out before they could utter a sound. Magnolia ran forward, smacking the gun out of Wes’ hand and holding him by the throat. he chocked. “in here, no one will hear you scream.” She murmured quietly.

“Photon!” I snapped, putting my gun back in its holster where it belonged.

The Gunner by the safe stood, sliding down the bandana. Photon grinned at me. “what?”

“you could have blown this! next time pay attention instead of admiring the hardware!”

Rolling his eyes he knelt back down at the safe, caressing it fondly. “are you kidding? This thing is a bute! Haven’t seen one of these in forever!”

“get a room.” the ghoul pulled down his mask revealing what honestly could have been any ghoul’s face. if not for the eyes you’d never know it was Scot under that. “Magnolia, here’s your gun.” 

She took it when he offered it and pressed it up against Wes’ head. He was beginning to sweat bullets. “you’re disgusting. It’s no wonder Hintzen keeps you on his payroll.” 

Wes’ voice was lost in the face of the gun against his forehead. He went cross eyed to stare at it. as if that would stop the bullet. 

Slowly I walked around the pair until I could get a look at Magnolia’s face. it was furious, angrier than I’d ever seen her. That was no ordinary disgust. “Magnolia?”

“I’d never betray my friends.” The murmur was almost too quiet to hear. Laced with a mix of emotions I couldn’t quite put a name to. 

For several seconds the silence ticked by, with Magnolia glaring down at Wes. Should I stop her? Should I say something? thankfully that wasn’t my decision. “uh guys.” Scot stood by the door, with it cracked open an inch. “we should do this quick, before someone walks in and sees this.” 

“right.” I rounded on a terminal against one wall. 

Yesterday after South Boston Magnolia and I had returned to Goodneighbor. We told Ellison our theory and that got her mind ticking away. She said it wouldn’t be easy to figure out where Hintzen was broadcasting from. That it would take us hours to search through all the broadcast records to find any trace of him. which was where her Holotape came into play. 

She wrote a program designed to scan through the Gunner’s systems and find any trace of Hintzen. Once we figured out what frequencies he was broadcasting on, we could listen in on his plans. It would only be a matter of time before he gave up his location, knowingly or otherwise. Then we’d have him. and Nick would be safe. 

Of course Photon and Scot had eavesdropped on our conversation with Ellison. When they found out what happened to Nick they’d refused to let us go alone. In spite of our protests. Ellison would have gone with us too if she hadn’t been working on another project to help track down Hintzen. 

We’d already wasted a day waiting for Ellison to write this program. I wasn’t about to waste any more time. 

The Holotape went in and I launched the program. A progress bar popped up on screen. At an agonizingly slow pace it filled. Of course. What was the point of sneaking into Gunner plaza without some dramatic tension? I left the program to do its thing and scanned the room. Magnolia had finally calmed down. she had Wes tied to his chair now and gagged. Photon was still working on that safe and Scot kept watch at the door. 

“how long do you think we have before someone wises up?” I murmured to them.

Magnolia finished the knots with a jerk and looked up at me. “five minutes tops. How’s that scanner going?”

“launched, but there must be a bunch of records to go through. The Gunners use radio too so it makes sense.” Hopefully the program was smart enough to rule those out. My sharp eyes fell on Photon. “blondie, what are you doing?”

“you know I hate it when you call me that.” he hissed with his ear pressed against the safe door. 

“then dye your hair. Now what are you doing?” 

“shut up.” He took his hand off the dial just long enough to wave at me angrily. 

“there’s a patrol headed this way.” Scot murmured from the door. he pulled up the bandana on his face as I walked to him. “what do you want to do?”

“sit tight, hopefully they’ll pass us by.” 

“what’s our exit strategy?” whispered Magnolia. 

Grimacing I dropped my head forward. The shadow of Nick’s fedora fell over my eyes. was I doing that thing that he did? God I hoped not. Defiantly I looked back up at her. “Photon and Scot are going to escort us out. So long as they can stay in character.” 

“and if they can’t?”

“then we run.” There were too many damn Gunners in this place to fight through. Not to mention their turrets. It was the whole reason we’d come up with this stupid plan in the first place. Sneaking in, as Photon put it, was so much easier than shooting everyone on sight. Of course he didn’t have a gun, as usual. 

Scot gave me a disgruntled look over his shoulder. “that’s not much of a plan.” 

“I’m open to suggestions here.” 

“hostages?” pointedly he nodded at Wes who was done up like a Molerat on the spit. 

“not a bad idea.” Approvingly I nodded. 

“got it!” Photon’s excited and triumphant shout drew me and Magnolia to his side. He had the safe wide open. Out of it tumbled caps, a couple of weapons and a stack of papers. Magnolia took the papers, uninterested in the money. 

“have to hand it to the Gunners, they keep good records for a mercenary gang.” She started rifling through the stack. There was a lot to sort through, and I wasn’t sure how she planned to get through it all in the time we had. 

“let me know if you find anything worth mentioning.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see the program was half finished. At the risk of jinxing us, we might make it out of this unscathed. 

“Vel, we’re going to have company in about two minutes.” Backing up from the door, Scot checked his magazine. 

“Magnolia, pack up the papers. Scot, Photon masks back on.” I rushed back to the terminal. 

“Vel, we’ve gotta move.” Scot called. 

“I know.” The scan was almost done. Just a few more seconds. impatiently I stood in front of the terminal, shifting from foot to foot. Hurry up damn it. why were machines all slow as tar? 

Finally the bar filled, a display of the results flashed on screen before I ejected the tape. The doors were just starting to open. Sneaking out wasn’t gonna be an option if they came in and saw all the dead bodies. We all gathered around Wes. With my hand tangled in his hair I dragged him to his feet. just as the doors creaked open. 

“hey uh boss? Some of us thought-”

“boss is a little tied up at the moment.” I announced with a tight grin. 

The Gunners came to a dead stop in the doorway, hands half way to their weapons. There were only three of them, for now. 

“we’re going to make this nice and simple for you guys.” To emphasize my point I pressed my gun up against Wes’ head. He flinched, sweat pouring down his face in sheets. That mustache looked even more ridiculous now. “we’re walking out of here. You stop us, I shoot him. are we clear?” 

They exchanged looks. None of them were used to making decisions and that played to my advantage. 

“are you going to get out of our way or are you going to volunteer yourselves as hostages too?” after a few more looks they backed up from the doors. Magnolia and Photon took the lead, Scot walked alongside me, hand tight on Wes’ shoulder. my shoulders were tense in spite of the calm pleasant smile plastered on my face. all it would take is one idiot to start shooting and we’d have to run. Just a few minutes.

As we walked through the hall to the main round room we gathered a small group of Gunners behind us. When we entered the next room with some kind of stupid sculpture in the middle of it. “don’t shoot! They’ve got the captain!” 

Any Gunner in the room that spotted us immediately backed off. Were they just that stupid? it was just their captain. I expected some of them to see an opportunity to kill their boss and come out on top. Or maybe they were better disciplined than I gave them credit for. Now that was laughable. 

We were almost to the doors for the lobby. Wes started struggling. I didn’t notice the gag slip free until he started yelling. “you fucking idiots! Shoot these fuckers!!”

“Run!” I smashed my Pipboy hard into his face then chased Magnolia and Photon toward the door. Scot was right alongside me. pumping his arms as we ran. Flame caught up with us in a surge. It engulfed us. My hair singed a little but the jacket took most of the damage. Scot cried. Fumbling blindly in the smoke I found his arm and hauled him to his feet. we broke through the smoke onto the other side. Magnolia and Photon were waiting for us at the doors. 

“Hang on Scot, stay with me Scot damn it!” with my arms tight around him I hauled him through the doors.

Magnolia slammed them shut behind us, Photon shoved a bar through the handles. “that’s not gonna hold em!” he announced.

“move it!” 

With Magnolia’s help we carried Scot toward the front doors. He’d got it bad. The smell of burned flesh followed us out into the morning. Out here the Gunners hadn’t been informed yet. For a few precious seconds they didn’t do anything. We ran right by them onto the road. Photon lobbed a couple grenades behind us to cover our retreat. I just assumed he’d stolen them on the way inside. The grenades sent up puffs of dust and smoke, forcing the Gunners to scatter.

We left the road, careening into the trees. There was a shack just down the slope. We’d seen it before we’d gone in. Sure enough it came into sight. Back behind us the Gunners were shouting. They’d lost us, but for how long? Stop thinking just keep running. 

Magnolia let go of Scot to bash the door open. Together we toppled inside. A split second came Photon who kicked the door shut. We all lay flat on the floor, listening to the yells and shouts of the Gunners. Beside me Scot shook violently. Either from pain or shock couldn’t be sure yet. None of us dared breathe or say anything. This all hinged on going unnoticed long enough to sneak away. 

Gunners went running in every direction. We could hear them up on the road just out of sight. The shack was nestled in a ditch a decent way off the road. It was hard to spot, even if you were looking for it. silently I counted down the seconds. sounds of pursuit drifted away, or back toward the plaza. 

It was only once the silence had gone on for several minutes that Magnolia dared move. She shuffled up to Scot’s side, easing him up into a sitting position. “they got you pretty good with a Flamer didn’t they?”

“seems so….” He groaned, eyes screwed shut against the pain. With a half smirk he glared at me. “you seem fine though. guess I should ask that scribe to make me one of those jackets.”

“I’ll be sure to demand it when we get back.” in spite of the seriousness of his injuries Scot’s voice was as strong as ever. Still, he shouldn’t have been put in harm’s way in the first place. 

Magnolia got his vest off to better see the damages. His skin was already rough and a sickly red color most of the time. Now a large patch of it had started to crack and oozed blood extremely slowly. “if we don’t treat this soon you’ll get an infection….”

“we can’t move yet, gotta wait for the heat to die down.” Photon whispered hoarsely across the room. 

Bent doubled over I crept up to a window to look out. High up on the road I could see some Gunners searching. If they came this way we’d have to kill them and make a break for it. how long would it take for them to give up? Was it even worth trying to get out of here before they left? Probably not. 

“O'Malley don’t be an idiot.” Scot groaned at me.

I turned to find his eyes narrowed angrily on me. 

“just wait, this isn’t the worst I’ve dealt with, I can handle this.” 

Of course he would say that. men and their macho attitudes. If Nick were in his position he’d be saying the same damn thing. Could practically hear him saying it. “don’t worry about me Gray, everything is fine.” 

Well everything wasn’t fine. And it was very rarely ever fine. Point in fact. Nick wasn’t here to laugh at my irritation. Either way trying to draw the Gunners away would probably have the opposite effect anyway. knowing our luck. So I sat tight while Magnolia did what she could for Scot and Photon kept watch out the windows. 

In order to kill a little time I popped Ellison’s Holotape into my Pipboy. The results of the scan popped up. A list of frequencies and how much time was spent on them. Unsurprisingly there was a wide spread. The Gunners alone probably used most of these. The program had flagged a couple of them however. “hey Magnolia, take a look at these.” 

She leaned over a little to take a look at the screen. “are those the frequencies Hintzen uses?” 

“yeah, if I’m not wrong most of these are prewar military frequencies.”

“how would you even know that?” 

“Nick told me about them.” I growled irritably. 

“right alright, what’s that tell us then?” obviously I was beginning to wear on her good nature. I suppose there was only so long normal people could be patient with me. made me wonder how Nick lasted as well as he did. 

“I’m not sure, maybe he’s got control of military bases or something.” the only base that I knew of in the Boston area was fort Hagen. And last I heard it had been controlled by the Institute and Kellogg. Course that was years ago now. 

“hold on, I think I saw something about forts in those records we took.” From her bag she produced the pile of papers from the safe. 

While she did that I cast one more glance out the cracks in the walls. Couldn’t see Gunners on the road anymore, but that didn’t necessarily mean they were gone. As impatient as I was to get out of here. A hand at my elbow turned me around. 

“have a look at this. the Gunners were ordered to keep clear of fort Hagen and its satellite array.” Magnolia handed over a handful of notes, all detailing botched patrols that had gone too close to the fort. I skimmed them as quickly as I could while she kept talking. “the Rust Devils operate out of the array, and we already know they work for Hintzen. There’s a good chance that Hintzen has something stored there that he doesn’t want anyone else getting their hands on.”

“or he’s there himself.” Which meant Nick would be there too. Was that a long shot? was that hoping for too much? Probably. Wouldn’t it be nice if our struggle ended there? 

“then that’s our next stop.” With a sense of finality Magnolia stuffed the reports back into her bag. 

“awesome!” Photon’s loud voice made me jump out of my skin. We all three shushed him angrily to which he rolled his eyes and bent forward. “what do ya say we drop the raisin off at Goodneighbor then make a B-line for Hagen?”

“there’s no we.” I snarled a little more angrily than I meant it.

His brows shot up. “oh don’t tell me you’re all worried about our health and general well being now.”

“I was always worried about it, but you two are the ones that insisted on coming.”

“in my defense I didn’t know I was going to get caught on fire.” Scot grumbled at the floor between his legs. 

Sympathetically I grimaced at him. “it’s because of that, you have to go back home. You’re injured you need to be taken care of. Magnolia and I can do the rest on our own.” 

“all due respect O'Malley, but this is Nick we’re talking about.” With barely so much as a wince Scot got to his feet. at his full height I could appreciate that he wasn’t as short as I liked to think. His hard stony expression left no room to argue or even doubt him. “he may be your boyfriend but he’s our friend. If everyone else wasn’t trying to convince themselves he was dead then they’d be standing here telling you the same damn thing.”

But everyone else was convinced he was dead. Once again I wondered if maybe I was the delusional one. after all who could deny the evidence right in front of their face? Nick had been knocked into that church with a sentry bot, that then exploded. Nobody should be able to survive that. but don’t forget that Nick had survived something very similar two years ago. when we were chasing down No-Nose, he’d forced a Sentry Bot to go critical. He’d been way too close to it then too. and he’d survived it. even before Ellison started modding him.

Nick was alive, I just had to find him. 

“I guess I’ve got no choice. Not like I can force you two to go home.” No matter how much simpler that would make things. 

Scot huffed in relief and sat cross legged on the floor. Now that his little moment of defiance was over he let the pain and exhaustion show. “nah, you can’t. but I wouldn’t say no to stopping by a chem dealer to get some Med-X.” 

“we can stop by Diamond City on the way to Hagen and get some more supplies.” Magnolia offered him a Stimpak which he let her jab him in the back with. “and when we do, we’re getting you a gun Photon.”

The blonde’s face fell. “I don’t like guns.”

“well get used to it.” she snapped. 

He sighed.

With my back to the wall I sat, one arm up on a leg. What a weird team we made. Effective, at least as far as nobody’d been killed yet. We’d just have to wait and see how long our luck would last from here on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look guys! i'm on time this week! nothing much to say about this chapter other than i really enjoy writing Mags some days. 
> 
> Ya know, my brain doesn't enjoy shutting up at the best of times. Every time i jump back into Fallout, which i do for scene scouting sometimes, it comes up with new ideas and new plot lines. What about this bit? or what about that loose end? or what would happen if i just used this? ya know? I'd love to see an end to this Fallout tunnel and get back to my original works on a more regular basis but i do love writing with these characters in this world. so i wanted to gauge interest in continuing any part of Blood Alloy. Would anybody have fun reading more of this world, like Nom de Guerre and so on? Like i said, i've got ideas, but if nobody's interested in reading them i'll just doodle them down and move on. let me know.
> 
> thank you once again for your time and support! Till next week, write on!


	18. History Repeating

I was beginning to miss my fedora. And my trench coat. And my gun for that matter.

Without those things I felt practically naked stealing away into the night. Sure without a gun I was near defenseless. Unless it came down to a fist fight right away I didn’t stand a chance. Technically I was wearing less clothing without the trench coat. I could feel the cold more but it didn’t bother me. really it was just the fedora missing that put me on edge. I wasn’t me without it. 

Those were all nice distracting thoughts from the problem at hand. I honestly thought sneaking around the settlement was going to be hard. Back in Diamond city you’d be hard pressed to get anywhere without being spotted by someone. Everyone was on edge in Diamond city regardless of the time of day or how drunk they were. Things were vastly different here. To begin with outside was practically deserted. One or two people were up, but they were tangled in each other’s arms. Clearly out for a midnight stroll with their significant others. 

Had Gray and I ever just taken a walk like that?

There were guards out too of course. Between the buildings they’d erected walls to define the boundary of the town. the guards walked along it, carrying laser weapons. That didn’t surprise me. after all Hintzen had supplied Darla with lasers, no surprise he’d give his shield the same courtesy. They had about as much discipline as Diamond City security going off how much they slouched at their posts. Unlike Diamond City security though, they kept their eyes on the world outside town. they didn’t even glance in my direction once. I guess they figured the bigger threats were out there, not behind their walls. 

King had left his front door unlocked. Not that it would have been a problem for me if he hadn’t. he trusted me. or wanted to? He reminded me a little of some of the Minutemen back home. Naive with a good heart. It made betraying him like this difficult. 

He’d promised to talk to Hintzen. Even if I thought I could trust King, I couldn’t trust Hintzen. This was the only way I was going to get answers. So long as I did this quietly, no one would be the wiser. I may even be able to get Gray, then kill Hintzen all in one night. Then came the problem of getting home. I’d deal with that once this night was over and Gray was back with me. 

The town was filled with orange light from streetlamps dotting the yard. The windows of all the houses were dark except for a few. The one or two people that were out didn’t pay me any mind. the guards were too busy dosing off to notice me as I crept up the path back toward the two big buildings. Crickets played their song somewhere in the night. For the first time I stopped to wonder what the radiation might have done to them. If it had created monsters out of the common cockroach…. 

Shaking my head I dislodged that thought before it could give me nightmares. Kitchen in the cafeteria Mark had said. It was worth a shot even if it led me to a dead end. The kid wouldn’t purposefully mislead me, that’s not the kind of read I got on him. it was really only a question of if Hintzen had found the tunnel and sealed it. Thinking about it, it seemed sloppy on his part. then again, running a whole settlement like this, ensuring his own safety, must take a lot of focus. 

Nobody spotted me, or bothered me as I went. Down one house until I reached the two big buildings. The one on the right the hospital where I’d come from. Gray dying on the operating table flashed in my mind’s eye for a split second. Pain surged through my head. Groaning I leaned up against the wall for a second a hand pressed to my forehead. Not real. It wasn’t real. Gray hadn’t died like that. It was some kind of trick. He had her, and I had to find her.

Once the pain passed I forced myself to straighten. Soon I reached the community center. There was a little mural painted on the side of the building beside the entrance. Dozens of little hand prints from kids of all ages, some adults too. dates dotted the wall in places, marking when those prints had been made. It went back a long time before wrapping around the other side of the building. This wasn’t just a new settlement after all. How long had Hintzen been here? Had he built it himself or just taken over what had already been there? 

Who knew and who cared? By tomorrow morning I’d be gone. One way or another. 

The community center was locked. Thankfully Gray had been teaching me a thing or two about picking. It wasn’t easy for me. there was definitely something to be said about the dexterity and sensitivity of human hands. I got by alright for the most part. after a few minutes of grinding my teeth the lock popped free. With one last glance at the town I slipped inside the quiet, dark building. 

It reminded me of a school. there were papers and pencils on the floor left abandoned. Drawings and postings plastered to the wall. There were even some lockers down the corridor. I was in a main hall that branched off in three separate directions ahead. One led to stairs up ahead. No signs, no indication which way to go. The kitchen had to be on the bottom floor if there were tunnels connected to it. at least that narrowed it.

There wasn’t anybody in the building. I guess if everyone had their own little apartments no one needed to live here. Sort of felt like a waste of useable space. Then again, there weren’t even fifty people living in Diamond City. The silence was practically deafening as I walked. I had my hearing sensitivity turned up as high as it would go. Not even the scuttle of insects. Not even Radroaches? Seemed impossible.

After taking a wrong turn and back tracking I finally found the cafeteria. At least if all the tables and chairs was any indication. A door on the far side was marked with a sign for kitchen. One wall was entirely made of windows which provided a good view of the town. no movement out there. so nobody had noticed me yet. And they weren’t likely to. 

It occurred to me then how insane this was. Trying to sneak into Hintzen’s labs in the dead of night, with no weapon and no real idea what I’d be facing. If anyone else had suggested doing this I’d have laughed in their face. yet here I was. Talk about being reckless. No point turning back now even if I could. Gray was my priority. 

Through the door the kitchen was functional and then some. It must have been a mess hall back before the war to begin with. There were ovens and stoves and fridges. Didn’t have time to stop and see if any of them worked. At a quick glance there wasn’t anywhere for a tunnel to connect to this room. the kitchen was practically spotless. No trap doors, no cabinets. Unless the tunnel led in from the back of a fridge. Unlikely. 

There was a closet in a far corner, probably some kind of pantry. Sure enough I found sacks of Tatos and shelves of preservatives on the other side. There was more food here than I’d seen in Diamond city. These people were so well set up I was surprised they risked opening their gates at all. If any raider knew about this place there’d be war. Hell the brotherhood of steel would probably carve out a piece for themselves. Hintzen was playing a dangerous game letting the settlement prosper this much. 

At first I couldn’t see anything of interest. Crates and sacks of food, some scavenged stuff the rest grown. Just when I was about to head back into the kitchen I spotted something on the floor. With a grunt I pushed aside a sack of Mutfruit. Trap door. perfect. This was it, had to be. It came open with a terrible grating noise that made me freeze. In the deafening silence I waited to get jumped. When nothing came through the door, up out of the tunnel, I slid inside.

It was pitch black. The tiniest sliver of light leaked in from the trapdoor but that didn’t go far. With a blink I turned on my night vision in my right eye. once again Ellison doing me favors even when she wasn’t around. Didn’t even mind she’d only had the materials to do one eye. it was enough to see.

The tunnel led on for several meters. Pipes and wires ran along the sides. These could have been maintenance tunnels back before the war. Considering it was a military base though they probably served as shelters for bombings. Water dripped in from cracks in the ceiling. It smelled like rot and muck. To top it off, I wasn’t alone down here. 

I could hear the snuffling of Molerats and their claws scratching at dirt. It echoed off the walls making it sound like there was more there than there were. At least I hoped that’s what was going on. Molerats weren’t a problem. At least not one at a time. Groups could be a problem. Especially if you didn’t have a weapon. Which I didn’t have. 

Great. 

Could practically hear Gray saying “well we’ve been through worse.”

No, wasn’t so sure about that.

For good measure I picked a pipe up off the floor. Tried not to think of how humiliating it was to be creeping up a dark tunnel with nothing but a pipe for protection. The tunnel went on for what felt like forever. Once or twice I came to branches that led off in different directions. It was a crap shoot picking out of these. Wish I’d asked Mark for a map or something. I had to back peddle after reaching a dead end once. Then a second time I bypassed a turn because of all the scuffling down one end. 

Just when I was beginning to think there’d be no end to this the tunnel sloped upward again. Pipes shrank and branched back into the tunnel walls. At last I came to a ladder. It was rusted and old, didn’t look like it had been used much in a long time. Lets just interpret that is a good sign. 

The ladder held my weight with some protest. At the top the trap door was heavy. My joints creaked with the strain. Any ordinary human wouldn’t have been able to move this. something clunked over my head and the door finally came free. I surged up through the door, half expecting to get attacked right away. Nothing. 

The room I popped into was some kind of storage room. Dust filled the air so thick it was like mist or something. Tools and broken machinery were scattered haphazardly around the room, on the ground and in shelves. Weird I’d have expected Hintzen to have more organization than, well me. maybe this wasn’t his building after all. 

There were other paths I could have tried down in the tunnels. I had enough time to get a look around here before trying another direction. Door across the room spat me out into more gloomy concrete space. This one at least had some lights, even if they flickered overhead. Boiler room, obviously. The giant machines in the middle of the room hadn’t been turned on since the bombs fell. Thick dust coated the cold concrete floor. It drifted up around every one of my footsteps. Well at least I’d find my way back with them.

The boiler room ended in yet another door which I slipped through. This was more like what I expected. The hallway beyond had some rubble but for the most part looked lived in. the florescent lights overhead flickered dim, giving me just enough light to navigate by. There were some signs left that this place had been built for show. Wallpaper, couple of paintings and posters, even scraps of carpet. Whatever this place used to be they made an effort to dress it up. 

With a hand against a wall I crept down the hall. Any moment I expected an Assaultron or something to step out of a dark corner. This had already been too easy. No way I’d out smarted Hintzen with the help of an eleven year old. As laughable as that would be. Yet silence stretched while I moved. Eventually I came to a solid, red, metal door on my left. It swung inward when I touched it with a loud creek. I tensed.

Nothing darted out of the darkness beyond to throttle me, so I pushed it all the way open. Light from the hallway flooded in a shaft across the room. it illuminated a table with parts of robots lying on it. a familiar face stared back at me with blank eyes. My heart leapt into my throat, or whatever the robotic equivalent of that was. Shocked I staggered back into the hall, the door closed with a resounding thud. 

The coolant pumped loudly in my ears. Cool it Nick. Just an old synth head, you’ve seen it a dozen times. Coming out of the darkness like that, when I was already tense though? that was almost too much to handle. Say what you will about synth bodies, I was pretty sure it had given me a heart attack. 

Once I got my breathing under control I went back to the door. this time I stared the synth head dead in the eye, daring it to get up and scare me again. My hand found a light switch on the wall and I flicked it. the room was some kind of staging area for robot repair. There were tables across the room, all filled with various parts of turrets, robots and synths. In fact there were a lot of synth parts. Looked like someone had gone shopping at the institute or something. 

There were terminals along the walls, some of them alone, others attached to pods. Most of the pods were empty, I counted about two dozen in total. Others were occupied by either scrap Assaultrons or Protectrons. One even had what was a half built Handy in it. so Hintzen really did protect himself with robots. Made sense. Humans were liable to turn tail at the first sign of trouble. Robots would do whatever their programming ordered them to. 

Twenty-four pods, six of which were occupied. That left eighteen out somewhere to get in my way. And all I had was a pipe to my name. I took a few minutes to search around the room for a better weapon, even a stun button. No such luck. Unless I wanted to take the time to tear off the head of that Assaultron and figure out how to make a gun out of it. I’d heard the Rust Devils had figured out how to do it. if I had the time I’d stop to thinker a minute. 

But I didn’t have time. Gray was somewhere in this building. When I found her we could think about arming ourselves and getting the hell out of here. 

With the sobering thought of eighteen killer robots patrolling the building, I headed further down the hall. Eventually the hall came to an end in a set of stairs leading up. Pale orange light leaked in from up there. eagerly I took the stairs two at a time, was getting sick of all this darkness. 

Except I wasn’t really ready for the light. Pain split my head, reminding me my night vision was still on. Rubbing my eyes I leaned up against the wall while the effects wore off. Once they did, I squinted at the window directly across from me. the panes were dirty, some broken. Bars crossed the windows. I stepped up to the window then immediately dropped below the sill. A Protectron trundled by the window with sparking hands and a red face. holding my breath I waited for it to noticed me. it didn’t. casually it went on its way, out of sight. 

I barely got up on my feet to look out through the window. This was the first floor. Outside ruined buildings lined the streets. Fort Hagen had been a decent sized fort back in the day, according to Nick’s memories. Going off the streets that was still true. Floodlights arced across the buildings and streets surrounding the lab. In those shadows I could just make out forms of ghouls and other wasteland monsters. Wouldn’t be surprised to discover the town was full of them. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any Supermutants to deal with. 

Bent doubled over, I made my way out of the stairwell into what looked like the main hall. Off to my left was some kind of lobby and some elevators. The hall went on for the length of the building on my right. lights were dim here too. at least I didn’t have to use my night vision. 

Directly across from me were a set of double doors. I took a peek inside. It was some kind of big lecture hall, with the teared seating and everything. most of the seats were missing. The screen at the front of the room was torn to shreds while the podium lay on its side. Satisfied I moved on down the hall. There were some windows down the hall that provided a view in on what was left of their contents. Most of them looked like conference rooms. A couple classrooms. A lot of them were half collapsed from the floor above. desks, bookshelves and chairs lay in the rubble. 

Red light appeared down the corridor followed closely by thudding foot falls. Frantically I ducked into a conference room that was almost too full of rubble to hide in. pressed up against the wall just under the broken window I waited and listened. Judging by the sound of those servos it was an Assaultron. The glow of its red laser eye fell through the window. Then paused. Shit. 

With held breath I listened to it turn on the spot. The light arched across the room, filtering around the doorframe now. Don’t come in. just keep walking. Nothing to see here. It’s not as if I’d left any trace of myself out there. maybe some misplaced dust but that was it. Assaultrons weren’t that smart though.

The silence went on and on. My limbs were so tense they were starting to shake. Then eventually the red light arced back across the room and out of sight. I peered through the window, watching the robot march down the hall toward the lobby. Once I was sure it was gone I crept out of the room. so far so good. And once I had Gray we could just break a window and sneak out that way. Come back when we knew better what we were dealing with.

I followed the hall further down the building. No more red lights appeared and there wasn’t even the sound of robotic footsteps. I was almost at the end of the building. Where the Assaultron had come from there could be a stairwell back there. leading to another section of the basement maybe? If the second floor was in ruins, the basement was probably Hintzen’s hiding place. 

But then something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. frowning I stopped and peered in on a set of windows. Unlike the rest of the rooms on this floor, this room seemed to actually be some kind of research lab. Counters lined the walls. There were some ceiling high cabinets. The floors were tiled. Among the tables around the room, were a handful of beds. Most of them were empty, save for one. 

My insides stopped working. It couldn’t be.

Feeling suddenly like I was in a daze I back peddled to the door. it gave way with no protest and a rush of cold air drifted over me. as I stepped inside I got the weird sense of stepping into a morgue. Nick had more than enough memories of visiting morgues for me to compare to. The same cold. That distinctive smell of disinfectant and bleach. It all added up to one horrifying conclusion. 

Someone lay in one of the beds, covered by a white sheet. On wavering legs I stepped up to its side. My hand shook violently as I reached for the sheet. After taking a steady breath I pulled it gently down. and collapsed to my knees.

Gray lay there. whiter than the sheet she lay under, her face plastic and slack. You couldn’t even tell the difference between the scars on her face and the rest of her skin. Her dark brown hair had been brushed back, maybe even washed. There wasn’t any dirt on her skin. It was like she’d been prepared for burial. 

It was too much. This couldn’t be happening. She’d really…. 

No. no this wasn’t real. This was some kind of trick. 

Like it would help I pulled the sheet clean off. To my shame she wasn’t even wearing anything under it. her body was just naked, white and dead. fresh cut marks crisscrossed her stomach, alongside bullet holes. For a second I could see the blood. all the blood leaking out of her and through my fingers. I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t save her. How had this happened? 

It was Gray. I couldn’t pretend otherwise. Every scar. Every blemish every muscle was the same. I’d know that body anywhere. Even the burn scar on her side where she’d burned away that tattoo. No one else even knew about that. shaking with shame guilt and grief I replaced the sheet back over her. On my knees I leaned over the bed, fists tight in the bedding. 

“Gray I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry…. This is my fault. I brought you here. I shouldn’t have brought you here. Why had I brought you?” why couldn’t I remember? Why was the last memory I had of seeing her alive back in the commonwealth? Was it the guilt? Was my brain just trying to protect me from facing what I’d caused?

A lot of people have died around me. plenty in fact.

When you’ve lived over a hundred years in the commonwealth ya get used to it. you get used to watching people die some pretty horrific deaths. Even friends. I could count on one hand how many partners I’d taken over the years. All but one of them had died at my side. A detective’s life wasn’t an easy one. and you weren’t liable to live it long. But I’d thought Gray would be different. I thought _we_ would be different. 

We could face anything, beat anything together. Even Hintzen. I thought. I was wrong. I’d been so wrong. 

My shoulders shook with sobs that had no tears. Desperately I clasped at her hand. she was so limp, so cold. This couldn’t be happening. “I failed you…. just like he failed Jenny…. You died because I wasn’t strong enough to protect you….” 

Just like Jenny. This was exactly the same thing. Nick had been on his knees back then too. he’d cried until his body couldn’t handle it any more. Then what did he do? Dust himself off and get the bastard that killed her? No. he’d gone and drowned himself in drink until the pain was a dull throb. 

I couldn’t even do that. and killing the person that did this to her? I wanted to blame Hintzen but who’s to say he had anything to do with it? his people had tried to save her after all. If anything I might actually have to be grateful to him. If I couldn’t blame him for this? who was I supposed to blame? 

Answer was obvious. 

Shakily I stood up. Bent doubled over I cradled her head in my hands. “please don’t leave me like this.” I whispered against her forehead, my lips brushed her skin. “I’m not sure I can go it alone again….” 

Traveling alone just didn’t hold the same appeal it used to. It didn’t hold any appeal. Not without Gray. Not without her at my side. What was the point? Could I even go back to the commonwealth without her? The others. God. What would they think? What would they say? Would they blame me? the kid wouldn’t but the others? John? He’d warned me. he’d told me not to let her life slip away from me. I’d done exactly that. 

I’d wasted so much time I hadn’t even proposed to her. What the hell good was I if I couldn’t even get that right?! if I couldn’t even protect the one person that I loved? She deserved better. She deserved the best. And I’d failed to shape up. 

Time slipped by. Don’t know how long I just sat there, holding her. Crying wasn’t nearly so satisfying without the tears. Did it anyway. she’d be furious with me for this, I knew that. she’d tell me to get my ass moving and get over it. that life was too short for grieving. Just a bit longer Gray, I’m sorry.

Didn’t have the time. Outside footsteps marched down the hall. I waited till the very last moment before ducking behind cover. The heavy mechanical foot falls walked passed the window. They didn’t sound like Protectron steps or Assaultron. I didn’t dare stand up to look. If I was caught here it would be over. And I wasn’t ready to give up that completely. 

When the robot was gone I stood back up. Gray still lay there, her head now slightly turned to the side away from me. “I know I should go but…. I cant just leave you like this….” she deserved better than this. I should at least bring her back to the commonwealth. How was I going to do that though? besides the fact that I had no idea which way was to the commonwealth, how was I going to transport her home safely? 

And then I knew what she’d say. She’d probably ask me to dump her body off at a Deathclaw’s nest so no one could say she wasn’t eaten by one. well sorry Gray, I wasn’t going to do that. I was going to bring you home. I just had to figure out how….

And until then the safest place for her was probably here. If Hintzen hadn’t done something to her already he probably wasn’t planning to. Getting her back through the tunnels then finding a place to hide her until I could leave was impossible. Maybe I could get King to help me. he might be willing to lend me a caravan. 

And when I got back to the commonwealth…. Then what? Tell John that I’d gotten his daughter killed? Face Ellie down another partner? Tell Ellison what happened? Tell Violet and the kids that their best friend was… gone. Delivering news like this to anyone was hard. Delivering it to the people you cared about… just the prospect was tearing up my insides. 

If I didn’t that would make me the worst kind of coward.

“I’ll come back for you Gray, I swear.” One last time I bent forward and kissed her forehead. For a few seconds I hesitated with my lips pressed against her head. I didn’t want to go. I knew I had to. That didn’t make this any easier. 

It took all my strength to walk away. By the time I reached the door to the hall I was in a daze. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. worse than that. there weren’t words to describe it. it was a god damn miracle that I found the tunnel entrance let alone made it through them. 

By the time I got back to Deven proper the sun was just starting to show. The community center was still mostly empty so I managed to slip out without being noticed. The settlement was stirring, slowly to waking. Only a handful of people were out. Ignoring the curious glances I drew I walked back to King’s house. 

When I got there King stepped out. Relief flooded his features when he caught sight of me which rapidly went to serious. Silently I waited until he got up in my face. “where’d you go last night?” 

“where do you think?” I grumbled with no bite in my words. There wasn’t enough energy left in me to be angry.

His face softened. “I take it… you found her then….”

Miserably I nodded.

Whether he saw it in my eyes or just knew, he put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. If you need anything just ask.” 

“I … don’t know….” That wasn’t a comfortable feeling to have. not that it was unfamiliar. With a heavy sigh I let my head fall forward. “don’t suppose you’ve got some work for me….”

“there’s always something, we’ll find you a job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe i should have warned you guys at the top? Nah, this is more interesting. Let me know what you think! there's a doodle over on my DeviantArt if you want to have a look there.
> 
> Thank you once again for your time, I'll see you all next week! Until then, write on!


	19. Dance With the Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!
> 
> Some graphic gore ahead. 
> 
> See you on the other side.

“I’ve been shot!” 

“walk it off.”

“I’m bleeding!”

“you’re only bleeding a little.” 

“that isn’t a little!

“stop shouting or I’ll make you bleed more.” Irritably I tied off the bandage around Photon’s leg. He squealed loudly before finally settling in a sulking heap. There were tears in his eyes. what a little sissy. “there, you’ll be fine. Magnolia do you got a stim in that magic bag of yours?”

“are you sure you want to waste it on him?” laughing she waltzed up to us. 

I took the Stimpak she offered and tossed it at Photon. “if we don’t give him something he’s going to whine about it all day.”

“just cause you all are used to taking lasers and flame throwers and bullets doesn’t mean I am.” Defiantly he glared into my face while he stabbed himself in the leg with the stim. The defiance lost its impact when he yelped.

Sighing heavily I turned in a circle. “hey Scot! How’s that terminal coming?!”

“almost got it!” he shouted down from the catwalk just over our heads. The camp was smoldering with fires and the smell of ozone. The Rust Devils had put up a decent fight. Well their robots had put up a decent fight. They themselves had been less than threatening. I knew for a fact one of them was still lying in a corner playing dead. well at least he had survival instincts. 

If I expected the Rust Devils to be any different than any other raider gang in the commonwealth I’d been wrong. They all had their own little mascots, themes. The Forged were all about fire and flamers, the Triggermen had been about old world mobs, and of course the Rust Devils were all about robots. Admittedly they took their theme more to heart than the other two did, with totems made of scrapped robots scattered around their camp. Take those out though and it was just your ordinary camp. Besides the giant satellites that stuck out of the ground.

Even if the Gunners hadn’t pointed us to Hagen this would have been our next stop anyway. Ellison had fingered it as one of three potential broadcasting points. With the Rust Devil presence, the Gunner’s orders to steer clear of it and the fact it was on Ellison’s list, there was no better place to look for Hintzen. If he wasn’t here I didn’t know where to look next. 

“got it!” Scot announced just as the security door blocking off the trapdoor beeped open. 

While he climbed back down I opened the trap door. a ladder led down into a concrete bunker. Ellison had said there was a military complex hidden under the satellite but up until now I hadn’t quite believed her. There were lights on at the bottom of the ladder. There was more beyond the first room I could just make out. 

“I can’t make it down there, my leg still hurts.” Photon whined. 

With a roll of my eyes I shot him a glare over my shoulder. “then stay up here and hope that something nasty doesn’t come knocking.” 

And with that I leapt down into the gloom, Photon’s insults drifting after me. 

I expected to meet resistance the moment I landed. Instead I tripped on my own feet during the landing and went face flat on a dusty floor. Thankfully no one was around to see it except Scot who was carefully climbing down the ladder. “how have you made it this far in life?”

“sometimes I wonder.” Spitting dirt out, I stood with a groan. The room was empty. Some machines stood behind gates and of course there were more robot totems here too. these guys really took their interior decorating seriously. At least there weren’t Rust Devils waiting for us. “alright, the console is probably deeper inside. If Hintzen is here leave him for me and Nick.” 

“and if he’s not?” Photon questioned while he fumbled down the ladder. 

I forced myself not to look at him. “then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Magnolia was the last to climb down. once she was with us I lead the way deeper into the concrete bunker. There was so much smoke in the air it made my eyes water. What the hell were they thinking lighting fires in an underground base like this? robots hung in shattered pieces either by their necks or in sacks on the ceiling. Some small part of me couldn’t help but imagine Nick hanging among them. If Hintzen was here would he do that to him? had he finally just had enough of the games?

We’d find out soon enough.

The first bit of resistance we met was at the end of big delivery ramp. Two Handy bots and a Devil. The raider, not the actual devil. None of them stood a chance between me Magnolia and Scot. If Magnolia’s magnum didn’t alert the rest of the Devils I’d be surprised. 

Sure enough, the moment we entered the next room a volley of bullets decimated the door frame around us. Each of us dodged for cover. I saw Photon retreat back to the first room before I lost track of him. the room was a big storage room, with full sized tanks sitting idle on the dock. Ramps, chains and more robot ornaments hung from the ceiling. You’d think with all the robots they used as decorations they wouldn’t have any left that functioned.

Well you’d be wrong. A beam of red light burst against the tank I hid behind. Assaultron, great. I don’t think I could stand to watch another person die like Irma had. “keep your heads down! watch out for fire from the platforms!” 

“same goes for you!” Scot retorted from somewhere off to my right. 

Magnolia was on my left somewhere but I couldn’t see her anymore. A Protectron came barreling around the corner of my tank. Electricity arched out of its hands. A few sparks split off and connected with my gun. For a few seconds my arm went numb, I stumbled back. it went to grab me. I tossed the gun into my left hand, the crippled one. it shook as I aimed but at this distance it didn’t matter. Pulling the trigger hurt like hell but it hurt a hell of a lot less than getting fried. 

It went down after a couple of rounds in the face. the next robot that came running into view got gunned down by Scot next. We were making efficient scrap out of these things. Their raider masters hung back far, hiding like a bunch of cowards. They barely even watched out for their robots while they tried to gun us down. 

“I’m moving up! Cover me!” I shouted at Scot.

All I got was a nod before I scurried up the center of the room. my fire, along with Scot’s, drove the devils to cover. I reached the next row of tanks. There were enough bullet casings on the ground by now to fill a barrel. This close I was right under one of the rust devils. Without mercy I shot straight up between his legs. He screamed and hit the grate. The moment he was splayed I put one in his head. 

The raiders were all starting to panic as their last robot fell to pieces in front of them. “go turn on the big one!”

“are you sure?!”

“go, god damn it or Murtagh’ll kill us anyway!” 

No idea what the big one was, and I was not ready to find out. Desperate to finish this quick I stood up tall to fire at the nearest set of devils. One dropped when his eye got pulverized, the other took a slug to a shoulder. Scot ran up beside me, firing as he went. He finished the job I started. 

There were only a couple left. Where the hell were they?! Spinning on the spot I waited for a bullet to fire at me. When none did my shoulders tensed. “spread out! This isn’t over.”

The words were barely out of my mouth before an arm slammed hard into my stomach. it lifted me clean off my feet and tossed me right into Scot. In a tangle of limbs we went down, both crying out as our respective injuries were hit. When the world finally stopped tumbling I sat up in time to see the Assaultron about to blast us. It had a skull for a head. I don’t mean that they put a human skull where its head should have been, I mean it had a damn mask of a skull. Its glowing laser eye stuck out of one of the sockets, its jaw hung slack. Either in the middle of laughing, or screaming. Couldn’t decide which in the brief second I saw it.

Then its face exploded with a bright flash of red. I covered up my head before the shrapnel shredded my eyes. when I sat back up the thing was a crumpled heap on the ground and Magnolia stood behind it. her Magnum still smoked a little. “you two alright?”

“maybe I should have stayed behind.” Scot groaned while he forced himself to all fours. The white bandage on his back showed under his clothes, it was starting to turn red. 

“you can always turn back now.” Photon walked up to us, looking pleased with himself. And decidedly unscathed. 

“it’s a good thing you remind me of me five years ago, or I’d shoot you.” I grumbled bitterly at him. 

With Magnolia’s help Scot stood. He really didn’t look too good. I was about to suggest that he head back to the surface when he fixed me with a look. “what are we waiting for? Nick’s waiting for us.”

“there was a set of doors back that way I’ve already unlocked. I think they lead deeper inside.” With that announcement Photon led the way through the tanks and robot parts. 

For a minute I hung back, grimacing. That bad feeling in my gut was back. something was going to happen, I just didn’t know what yet. 

I followed the others through two security gates into a storage room with some shelves. A door in the far wall had a terminal next to it, which Scot went to work on. “give me a minute, I know their tricks now.”

“looks like some kind of workshop room.” Magnolia peered in through the grated window beside the door. judging by the smells of sulfur and electric fires she wasn’t wrong. “there might be a console in there too but it’s hard to make out.”

“check your weapons, Blondie- Blondie?” I turned on the spot. The goddamn blonde was nowhere to be seen in the room. “son of a bitch….”

“what?” he stepped around a doorway up a set of stairs, glaring at me. “was just getting out of the line of fire before you drew it.”

“I’m gonna draw something in a second.” 

The door swung open with a satisfying beep. Magnolia was the first through, gun up. I followed next. Then the door swung shut with a clang. We span back on it. “Photon! Scot!”

“we’re here.” Their faces appeared at the window, angry. Scot darted to the terminal just out of sight. “I’m trying to get back in but the terminal’s been shorted. I don’t know what happened.”

“guess we should have figured things wouldn’t be this easy.” Magnolia muttered. 

“forget the terminal.” With my fingers laced in the grate I leaned forward to see him. “find another way around. This isn’t a maze, there’s bound to be another way through.”

“are you sure?” Scot didn’t abandon the terminal even while he talked to me. “Photon what about the lock? Can you pick it?”

“no go.” He shook his head. “they’re mag logs, I can’t pick that.” 

“damn.” 

“just go, we’ll be fine.” Gun up I stepped back from the door. 

“be careful. Come on Photon.” Scot dragged Photon away by the back of the collar. 

Slowly I turned until I met Magnolia’s eyes. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this….”

“you too?” grimly I turned my gaze to the room at large. It was some kind of workshop. With weapon and armor benches, some piles of scrapped robots. Plenty of those Protectron pod things. The smoke was thick, making my lungs burn. Up on a platform across the room was a console that looked promising. “come on.” 

Carefully we made our way across the room to the console. Wires protruded from it, connecting to the ceiling. A display showed some kind of wave, there was a microphone attached to it too. “looks like what we’re looking for.” Magnolia murmured.

“yeah, but where’s the asshole?” 

Electricity shot from a catwalk over our heads and hit us both. My limbs went numb. I screamed for a second before my lungs ceased up. The floor zoomed up to meet me. Beside me Magnolia was down too. twitching from the electricity. 

“you know I’m impressed.” An all too familiar voice spoke loudly over the sound of burning fires. “granted Hintzen isn’t here, in fact he’s not even in the commonwealth, but I’m impressed you made it this far.”

Painfully, I made myself look up at the figure in the darkness. My body wouldn’t follow my orders. All it wanted to do was twitch and convulse. Damn it, move! 

The figure walked down to our level, stepping into the light. James Murtagh appeared from the shadows. That shock of near white hair would have been hard to miss anywhere. His tight leather jacket had a few new scuffs on it from the last I’d seen him. instead of his sniper rifle he carried with him some kind of improvised weapon, with a long barrel and big generator in the middle. 

He waltzed up to us, in no hurry, gloating. Finally I got my left hand to move. One of his boots came down hard on it before I could grab my gun. “that would be unwise.” 

“you bastard.” I snarled around the pain. Sweat started dripping down my face. 

“don’t insult me either.” He pressed down harder on my hand forcing a scream out of my mouth.

“leave her alone!” Magnolia tried to rise beside me but she wasn’t any better off than me.

He raised a brow at her before letting up on the pressure. Shaking I curled in around my left arm. Sighing Murtagh picked up our guns from the floor. “I take back what I said, I’m not impressed. Did you really think that you could come in here and kill me? that I wouldn’t see you coming a mile away? I’m a sniper after all. Anticipation is my job.”

Biting on my lip I looked up at him. he dropped our guns on a workbench then sat casually on it. that damn gun sparked a little, like it anticipated the next time he’d fire it. 

Staring down at me he tilted his head. “you could have been on our side O'Malley, he offered you a chance to keep yourself and Valentine alive but you refused. Now look where that’s got you.”

“where is Nick?!” I shouted around gritted teeth.

Chuckling he shook his head. “won’t believe what you saw with your own eyes? I told him you wouldn’t. and you,” his gaze went to Magnolia who stiffened. “he told me all about you.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her face go pale under all that dirt. “shut up….”

That made him smirk. “I take it she doesn’t know. Why don’t we air out some of your dirty laundry then?”

“what are you talking about?” my limbs were finally starting to obey me. with all the strength I had I managed to get myself to all fours, well three with the bruised hand. 

He stood and strode toward us. “you’re in my way.” With little mercy he threw a kick hard into my side. Gasping I rolled out of his way until I came to rest beside a workbench. There were Mr. Handy parts sitting on it. mostly arms. 

“what are you doing?” painfully Magnolia pushed herself to a kneeling position. The sweat and grime couldn’t hide how terrified she was.

“Samuel thought I’d have to deal with you, so he gave me something to shed some light on who you really are.” Into the terminal on the console he popped a Holotape. Static started playing over the speakers for a few seconds. 

Gritted teeth, I forced my arms to move. Slowly and painfully they dragged across the floor. Over my head I could see one of the Handy arms hanging over it. 

Then Nick’s voice froze me.

_“you backstabbing bitch! I trusted you and you betray me like this?! To Hintzen?!”_

_“wow, ya sure laid it on him thick didn’t ya?”_ I didn’t recognize that voice. _“lets get him in the chair. Ya know what Hintzen wanted right?”_

 _“yes.”_ It was only one word but I immediately recognized that smooth warm voice. Eyes wide I slowly looked at Magnolia. Her head was down, clear tears flooding down her cheeks. 

“what did you do?!”

There was sound of a scuffle. Nick grunted, clearly in pain. I wish I could have seen what was happening. All I could do was sit here and imagine the horrors he was being put through. Like listening to a deranged radio show.

 _“why?!”_ in his yelling I heard fear and pain all wrapped up in one. it made my heart clench and my mind reel. _“why are you doing this?! what’s he offering you?!”_ Things went quite for a second before Nick’s desperate voice spoke again. _“you don’t have to do this Mags. Whatever he has on you we can work it out. Please, just look at me. love.”_

When Magnolia’s voice spoke again it was cold and hard. _“it’s the only way I’ll be free of the Institute Nick, I’m sorry.”_

“I’ve heard enough.” I growled fists balled tight. Pain shot up my arm. it brought my mind into focus. The furry burned hot inside my chest. What had she done?! Did Nick not remember this?! This had to have happened in the last year, since Nick started working with her. 

Murtagh laughed, a cold unfeeling thing. “but we’re just getting to the good part. have a listen.”

“I said I’ve heard enough!” but the tape kept playing and I was powerless to stop it.

 _“he won’t remember any of this, so there’s no point twisting the knife.”_ Magnolia murmured in a dead voice. 

_“says you.”_ that sadistic voice. 

Nick spoke next only this time it was in an empty, hollow defeated voice. _“was any of it true? Are you really a synth from the institute or was that just to get under my skin?”_

“it was true.” Magnolia beside me spoke desperately to me. her wide pleading eyes were locked on mine. “please Gray you have to believe me. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t have a choice.”

“we all have a choice!” I shouted.

That’s right get angry. She deserves to die after all. For betraying the man you love.

Murtagh crouched down between us. Smirking. “she was working for him the whole time, playing Valentine the whole time. Then erased his memory of ever meeting her. took a good chunk from him too.”

“shut the fuck up!” the tape was still playing but I couldn’t hear it any more. They’d recorded it, those sick fucks. And here Murtagh was smiling like a piece of shit. I was going to kill him. I’d make him suffer for it. for all of this. For Nick and for me.

He turned his smirking face toward Magnolia who was openly crying now. “I have to say, that was a cruel thing you did to him. ya made him love you, honest to god love you and you turned on him just like that.”

“shut up.” She snapped with hollow venom. “just shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“I know enough to know you’re worse than me.”

I swung the Handy buzz saw hand down into his shoulder. 

My mind went blank. There was nothing in there, not a trace of any normal thought. Only one thing was on my mind. revenge. Revenge for the one man in the commonwealth who deserved it.

In a sudden burst of strength I was on my feet, bearing down on Murtagh. He screamed, blood spurted from his open shoulder. with a wrench I tugged it free. He fell to the side, scrambling for his weapon. Silently I swung the arm down into his leg. More screaming. I must have nicked his artery cause blood started streaming out of it. desperately he clutched at his arm and leg, any attempt at reaching his weapon abandoned. 

“you bitch! You god damn bitch you-” I shoved the blade into his mouth. 

“I should have killed you a long time ago.” the voice didn’t even sound like mine. It felt like I was hearing it from across the room. the words didn’t feel right. the tone wasn’t right. but I didn’t care. finally, one of the men that had caused me so much pain was in pain himself. “that day when you came into our office, with your fucking offer, I should have killed you then. Saved me the trouble.”

Screaming wasn’t much of an option now. all he could mange was whimpering while he bled out into his own mouth. Numbly I tugged the blade free, taking some of his teeth, bits of his tongue and cheek with it. his mouth had been reduced to a gaping bloody hole in his face. 

That’s not enough is it? don’t you want to make him suffer more?

“He doesn’t have long to live.”

Long enough.

My eyes slowly drew up to the tesla rifle still sitting beside the console where he’d left it. good enough. Dropping the arm I stepped on him to get at the rifle. He moaned agonizingly. After a few seconds I found the trigger then pressed the barrel up against his chest directly. In a hollowed voice I spoke, so unfeeling it was almost terrifying. “if you can still talk answer my question. Where is Nick?”

He was going pale, his eyes fluttering. All that blood loss. How many more minutes did he have? three? Two? Could he even hear me anymore?

“gray….”

“answer Jimmy, before I kill you.” I murmured so low I could barely hear it. 

His lips flapped uselessly, a pathetic pitiful sound came out of that blood filled throat. he was gargling on his blood. maybe shoving the saw in there was a little overzealous. 

No such thing.

“Gray please….” 

I pulled the trigger. Lightning burst across his chest, searing a hole straight through. He screamed for the few seconds before the bolt charred his heart. When that happened, he stopped moving. The blood stopped pumping out of his leg and shoulder. his wide green eyes stared passed me toward the ceiling. 

Satisfied I tossed the gun aside and looked at the console. “I hope you heard that Hintzen. I’ll be coming for you next.” 

“Gray!”

My eyes snapped onto the woman standing in front of me. Magnolia. To think I’d called her a friend. That I’d trusted her with my secret. And all this time she’d been working for him. gradually I turned to face her full on. There was blood on my hands and on my face. the air around me smelled like burned meat. “run.”

“Gray please let me explain, that tape didn’t-”

“run.” I repeated coolly.

If she was pale before she was practically as white as a sheet now. with her hands up and empty she backed away. “I didn’t want to do it. Hintzen threatened to-”

“I don’t care.” my wrist burned worse than it ever had before. killing Jimmy wasn’t enough. Someone else had to die. And who better than the person that had betrayed the only man I ever loved? The only reason she was still alive was our history. And the fact that Nick had trusted her once too. “to hell with Hintzen. You made Nick love you and then you turned him over to that psychopath.”

Shamefully she dropped her eyes. I’d never seen Magnolia slouch with shame before. part of me felt bad. She was my friend after all. Right? She’d taken bullets for me, she’d given up her own skin for me. 

Just kill her already.

“there are no excuses for what I did to him…. Gray I’m….”

“run.” I repeated. With a stiff finger I pointed at what was left of Jimmy. “do you see that? do you see what I did to that man? I’m giving you a sporting chance. run.”

“what about finding Nick?! I know you’re furious with me but he’s-”

“I’ll find him myself, I don’t need you.” I took a menacing step forward. She took one back. and so it went across the platform. The fear in her eyes signaled she knew she wasn’t facing just anyone. Did people forget I was a killer? That I’d killed hundreds of people, not all of them bad? Under all the scars, under all the lies, I was as much a psycho as the next wastelander. 

That’s my girl.

“you have ten seconds….”

“please listen to me. Hintzen wants this!”

“one.”

“Gray!”

“two.”

“we’re here!” voices came shouting from a door off to our right. my eyes snapped over her shoulder just in time to see Scot and Photon standing there. they froze the moment they saw us facing off against each other. Neither one of them looked too badly injured. What was left of myself was relieved by it. “what’s going on? O'Malley?”

“get back guys.” Magnolia spoke in a quivering voice. “it’s alright… everything’s going to be fine.”

“three.” I murmured. 

Scot took a step forward, his hands outstretched. “what’s going on O'Malley? What happened? Did you find him?”

“four.” silently I shook my head, then pointed at the body on the ground. “we found Jimmy. He shed some light on things. Five.”

Photon stepped around us out of sight. I kept my eyes set firmly on Magnolia’s shaking ones. There was so much fear there. it didn’t make me feel anything. Not excitement, or remorse. This was nothing but justice. “hey, guys your weapons are over here.”

“wait-” Scot tried to stop him but he already was handing over our guns. 

Without even looking at him I took mine back, watching Magnolia take hers. “go ahead.” My eyes tightened when she looked up at me. “try it. six.”

“I don’t want to fight you Gray.” Defiantly she put away her gun.

“fight?!” Photon cried.

Scot got between us, hands outstretched. 

With a bitter smirk I let my angry gaze fall on him. “get out of my way….”

“I don’t know what’s going on but it isn’t helping. We still have to find Nick.” He intoned. 

“look around.” Waving my gun around the room I finally turned away from that woman. “he isn’t here. Hintzen isn’t even in the commonwealth, how much you want to bet Nick’s not either? This is it. the dead end. We’ve lost.”

“are you giving up that easy?” Scot snapped. 

Giving up? Didn’t have much brain space to think about that right then. The only thing I could think about was Nick’s defeated words. Slowly I brought my gaze back to Magnolia just over Scot’s shoulder. “seven.”

“lets get out of here.” Scot turned his back on me. with one hand he grabbed Magnolia’s arm. with the other he pulled his gun. “she’s clearly out of her mind.” 

“wait.” She didn’t leave. With a tug she freed her arm to face me. there wasn’t any fear left now. her expression was so steely it actually made me hesitate.

“eight.” Only for a split second.

Fists clenched she faced off against me. “I’m not giving up on him. I don’t care what you do, but stop and think about him. what would he want, and what he would do.”

Don’t listen to her.

My gun hand shook at my side. The wrist felt like it was on fire. If I just raised. Put the barrel to her chest I could finish her. For what she did to Nick she deserved no less. But that wasn’t me. I wasn’t that person anymore. So instead I just glared into her face. “nine.”

With a disappointed sigh she turned around. While she walked away Scot stared at me with a slack jawed look. It bothered me. “look at yourself. Is this what Nick would want?”

Don’t listen to him.

My heart went cold. He didn’t know, he didn’t understand. He had no idea what that woman had done to Nick. She deserved to die for it. Just like Jimmy back there. even while all those angry thoughts ran through my head, the grip on my gun slacked off. “get that woman out of my sight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am irrationally anxious about posting this, I've had a lot of irrational anxiety the last couple days actually. But I figure if you're still reading after last weeks chapter than this chapter wouldn't bother you. 
> 
> As usual thank you so much for your time! See you all next week and until then write on!


	20. Let’s Talk About Something Else

This wasn’t exactly what I’d meant by work, but it would do. 

“alright Nick?” King called from across the room.

“fine, I can hold it.” I groaned out. 

“just a few more seconds, Jacob, how’s the weld coming?” 

“fine.” Another guy answered from somewhere over my head. 

The pipe was heavy, no denying that. my joints creaked with the strain of holding it up. That was it. I didn’t even feel tired. That wasn’t physically possible anyway. We were in one of those tunnels built under the town. the last section that needed repair, according to King. They’d had to replace an entire section of piping here and had been struggling since no one could hold the pipes up long enough to get them attached. That’s where I came in I supposed. Fine by me. 

Simple handy man work. how long had it been since I did a job like this? couple decades at least. I didn’t miss it. I still preferred cases over this. but it was a refreshing return to simplicity. It gave me something to focus on at least. Keep my mind from repeatedly wondering to Gray’s dead face. 

“done.” Jacob announced.

I dropped my hands and slipped out from under the pipe. Sure enough the welding work held. The last bit of pipe. “good work.”

The older man stretched out his stiff arms, grinning satisfied. “thanks for your help Valentine, that would have taken us twice as many men to finish.”

“the job’s not done.”

“that it’s not.” King walked back up the tunnel to us. He was muddy and wet, just like the rest of us. Grinning wider than I’d seen anybody do in a while. “lets break for lunch, then we’ll go tackle the big job.” 

“I’ll make the rounds, see who we can round up.” Jacob adjusted his tool belt around that massive belly. 

“sounds good. Tell em I’ll buy a round of drinks if they pitch in.” 

“that’ll get Alex out of bed.” Laughing Jacob wondered up the tunnel out of sight. 

Once he was gone I started strolling down the tunnel, running a hand over the pipes we’d installed. It wasn’t until I ran into him that I realized King hadn’t moved. “what are you doing?” he questioned with a cocked brow. 

“I don’t eat King, go on ahead, I’ll meet up with you after.” Casually I waved him away. 

“and what are you going to do?”

“make sure the seals are good.”

He rolled his eyes at the ceiling. “they’re perfectly fine, come on, I’m not leaving you down here.” With a hand on my shoulder he steered me around to follow Jacob back out of the tunnels. 

It was a bright day when we surfaced. Not a cloud in sight. The sun beat down on the town hot. The people of Deven didn’t seem to mind. there were some people in the field, working to gather the crops before first freeze. Others were milling around on the paths. Several waved at King as we climbed out of the manhole. 

“how’s it going down there?” one asked as they passed. “are we going to have indoor plumbing soon?”

“soon, all thanks to our visitor.” Proudly King slapped me on the back. 

For a second I watched suspicion flash over their faces. It was gone the next second and they beamed. “thanks Valentine! We all appreciate it.”

As they walked away I watched them go with a frown. “does everybody know who I am?”

King offered a non-comital shrug. “we get a lot of visitors but none of them arrive quite the way you did. Plus word travels fast in a settlement like this.”

“reminds me of home.” 

“where are you from anyway?” gesturing King started leading the way down the path toward the other end of the town. in the far distance the gates stood high. I hadn’t actually been on this end of Deven yet. At least not above ground. 

“I’m from the Commonwealth, out where old Boston is on the coast.”

“that ain’t too far from us actually. Less than a day if you know where you’re going. Ever heard of Daisy?” 

“yeah, she’s a trader out of Goodneighbor.”

“she trades with us now and then. I like her.”

“is there anyone you don’t like?” I laughed, giving him a sidelong look. 

Broadly he shrugged. “I don’t like Kirby, Kirby’s an asshole.” 

“Kirby’s a dog.”

“doesn’t mean he can’t be an asshole.” 

We laughed. In spite of my best efforts King was starting to grow on me. he didn’t make it easy to ignore him, let alone hate him. unlike his wife. Which was why I’m glad we were bypassing his home in favor of the bar. 

“so when’s she due to come back?” we were about half way to the gates now. I could finally pick out the individual buildings instead of one big block of metal and brick. 

“she should be coming around soon. Haven’t seen her in a couple months.” King’s voice became guarded and I felt his eyes on the side of my face. “are you planning to hitch a ride with her back to the commonwealth?”

“the thought crossed my mind.” I knew that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but I respected him enough not to lie. 

“how long do you think you’ll stay?” that look almost made me feel guilty for what I was about to say. 

“I don’t know King, honest I don’t. I … need some time.” Going back meant facing up the truth to everyone. I wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe it was selfish, or stupid, I should just go home. I couldn’t bring myself to do it just yet. “I meant to ask you. when I do leave, I’m going to take Gray with me. if … you could spare a caravan to help me I’ll be grateful.” 

“I’ll see what we can do. If it gives you more time to grieve I’ll do what I can.” For a minute silence settled in over us. Gave me an opportunity to admire the town a little more. The green houses were built from scrap, not original. Inside there were a couple of Handies working alongside their human counter parts. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. if I lost Tasha-”

“King, if you don’t mind, I’d rather talk about something else.” Anything else. Please in the name of god. 

He nodded in understanding. “how many times do I have to tell you, call me Mal Nick.” 

“alright Mal.” Smirking silently to myself I reached for the cigarettes in my pocket. “tell me about you. it occurs to me that I know almost nothing about you besides the fact that your wife has you on a leash.” 

“don’t say that too loud, I do have some dignity.” Mockingly he cast around the yard like he was really afraid to be heard. “she’s one hell of a woman. are all women out there like that?”

“you don’t leave Deven much do you?” 

“is it that obvious?” he ran a hand over the back of his neck smiling. 

Yes, it was extremely obvious. 

“I was born here in Deven. My grandad was one of the first people that found Deven fifty some odd years ago.” 

“damn, fifty years?”

“yeah.” Nodding he tossed a hand around, indicating the rest of the settlement. “back then it was full of ghouls and raiders. My grandad came here looking for stuff to scavenge for his own group when he stumbled into the labs. That’s where he met Mr. Hintzen for the first time.” 

“wait, back up.” I threw up a hand. “Hintzen’s been around for fifty years?” 

“if my Grandad was to be believed. I don’t know if it’s the same guy as before, could be a title or something.” 

“a title huh?” now that I stopped to think about it Hintzen and I had been fighting for, god I didn’t know how long. Always chalked that up to faulty memory. But if Hintzen had been around Deven for fifty years. What did that mean? 

“anyway,” King’s voice brought me out of those thoughts. “my grandad brought his whole settlement here to set up. There were only what, twenty of em at the time? They cleared out the barracks and started putting up walls. Before long they had a full blown settlement on their hands.”

“I suppose they had some help from Mr. Hintzen.” Ugh just saying that made my skin crawl. Disgusting. 

“he gave us robots to help construction and the farm, those Handies back there are from him.” he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder at the greenhouses. “all we’ve got left are the Handies though and they’re not exactly built for the plumbing work we’re doing.” 

“shame.” A little more sarcasm leaked into my tone than I meant.

And of course King, Mal caught on. “oh, sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I guess you get that a lot huh? People treating robots like tools and all.”

I sucked in a long breath, trying to decide how to respond. “I can’t deny, some robots are dumb as rocks and aren’t much better than tools. Speaking from experience though, you shouldn’t always make that assumption.” 

“I wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure I should, how’d you end up… the way you are?”

That was a tactful way of asking that question. and believe me I’d heard every variation over the years. we turned off the path into the market. No grass here, just a bunch of dirt from all the foot traffic. This section was built by hand after the war. A few buildings made of nothing but scrap metal and wood. It felt like stepping from the past back into the future. there were three buildings at this end of the campus. One big one on the right which was open to the air. Underneath were booths where traders pushed their wares. 

Across a dirt covered square stood two other buildings. One was two stories tall and just had Inn painted over the door. The other was obviously the bar. Someone had taken great care to make up a neon sign with the words Blast Glass written in bright green. If that didn’t catch your eye then the bright green banners hanging on the walls would. The open windows didn’t stop the chatter of people from inside. Just what I’d expect from the wasteland. 

“if you don’t go get something to eat before I answer that question you’re not going to eat.” I laughed with a smirk.

“I bet. Come on, should be a table open at the back.” he lead me into the tavern.

The moment I stepped inside a blast of stale air and smoke hit me square in the face. after all the fresh air that I’d had these last couple days I wasn’t ready for this. it reminded me of the Third Rail. That wasn’t a comment on the clientele. They weren’t the rough, outcasts, they were all as well adjusted as anyone else in Deven. Excusing their drunkenness. Which was like the Third Rail. 

The cavernous room was as plane as they came. The only thing that gave it life was the people in it. clumps of drunks laughed loudly together gathered around tables. In one corner someone was starting a drinking game. A massive wood bar sat against the far wall. A skinny, elderly woman, with mousy grey hair stood behind it. she looked up sharply when we entered. 

“finally! The mysterious visitor graces this old bar with his presence!” 

My brows shot up. “I wasn’t trying to avoid you.”

Dismissively she waved her hand. “nah, you’ve just been put to work by our fearless leader with scarcely enough time to find your balance.” 

“he offered gran.” Sheepishly Mal averted his eyes. 

“and you should have told him to take a rest.” Her sharp old eyes landed on me and I found myself standing just a little straighter. “what’ll it be son? I got anything you could ask for.” 

“I don’t eat or drink.” 

“got enough cigarettes?” she nodded at the one sticking out of my mouth. 

“last one.” I admitted.

“then here, take this pack on the house.” From under the counter she tossed a fresh pack at me. 

Easily I caught it with one hand, gaping a little at her. “that isn’t necessary, I can pay.”

“nonsense, you’re helping with the latest public works right? just take it. will it be the usual boy?” she narrowed her eyes on Mal.

“yeah, thanks Gran.” 

“just don’t break anything.”

Mal scurried away from the bar into a back corner, head low. Grinning I followed him. “old woman’s got more balls than most men I know.” I laughed as I sat with him at a table.

“you’ve got no idea.” Leaning forward he spoke in an undertone, so the old woman wouldn’t overhear. “a few years back we got attacked by some Supermutants. Gran was the first one on the gates. I’ve never seen someone that small fire a Fatman and live before.”

“that is truly terrifying.” Even though I was still laughing. 

He scowled. With an irritated air he sat back in his chair with folded arms. “alright wise guy, what’s your story? How’d someone like you end up in a robot body? Were you programmed like that?”

“programmed would be a nice simple answer.” If he knew how loaded that question was he might not have asked it. how many times had I told this story? At this point I was so used to it that talking about it hardly even bothered me. “it’s complicated, hope you can stay with me. there’s this organization called the Institute back in the Commonwealth.”

“we’ve heard of them. You look like some of their synths but I didn’t want to be rude pointing it out.” 

I guess they had. Hintzen did have synth parts back at his labs. With a sigh I nodded. “I’m not like them. You’ve got the generation two synths that are all metal with empty heads. Then you’ve got generation threes, pretty much human. I’m somewhere in between. Some kind of prototype before they figured out how to make gen threes.” 

“makes sense.” Going off that dazed look it didn’t quite make that much sense. 

“the way I can figure things, they took the memory imprint of some prewar cop. Nick Valentine, and stuck him in my head. Don’t know who I was before that or anything, probably wasn’t anybody. They ran some tests, did some things I can’t remember then I escaped.” 

“so… am I talking to the old Nick Valentine, or the new Nick Valentine?” 

“you ask some tough questions.” I took a minute to take a drag of my cigarette then flick the ash off into the trey on the table. The ash smoldered for a split second before going out. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. “I’m not sure there’s a difference anymore. I started as the old Nick. But now I’m me. there’s still part of him in here, but it isn’t any different than you remembering what you were like as a kid.” 

“but why Nick? Why you?” 

A question that had plagued me since the moment I accepted I wasn’t the old Nick. I thought I could find answers in the Institute. But it had been blown to smithereens before I’d found them. I hoped DiMA might have had something more to tell me. he did, but like me he hated reliving his days in the institute. The memory den hadn’t been able to shed light on that question either. There wasn’t any other avenue of investigation at that point. “I like to think there was a reason, something about Nick that made him an ideal candidate or something. but I’ll never know. Always counted myself lucky they didn’t stick me with an ex-con or whatever type would agree to let people tinker with their grey matter.” 

“guess there’s no point dwelling on it.” nodding he sat back, relaxed again. “the past is passed. Can’t change where you’ve been, you can only change where you’re going.”

“wise words.” I nodded approvingly.

“something my old man used to say.” A young man delivered a plate of roasted meat to Mal. Mal paid and waited until the boy was gone before turning back to me. “where do you think you’re going?”

“Mal….”

“you’ve been through a lot. I can’t even begin to understand everything about you, but the way I see it you’ve earned some time to rest.” He threw his arms wide, which made my hand flinch toward my gun, which was nowhere to be had. “what better place to rest than here? I’m not asking you to stay forever but I know you need this.” 

It was almost laughable that he thought he knew me so well already. Honestly his offer was tempting. Without Gray what was left to tie me to the commonwealth? Selfish thought Nick, there was still plenty to go back for. Ellie for one, I couldn’t just abandon her to grieve. John needed to know about Gray. And Violet was going to need help raising all those rascals and her husband. Not going back wasn’t an option. 

“like I said before Mal, I’ll stay for a little while, at least until I’ve got my head back on straight. You’ve got me until then. But I’m leaving. This isn’t going to be permanent. I have responsibilities back home.” 

“responsibility is one thing I do understand.” A little disappointed, he went to work on his lunch. About three bites in he flinched and dropped his fork. “I am so sorry Nick, is this rude? To eat in front of you?”

“oh my god.” I didn’t know whether to be irritated or amused. It was nice that he thought about it. more than I could say for most people. But all these questions were really starting to wear on me. “it’s fine Mal, eat. God knows I don’t want to see if you get grumpy when you’re hungry.”

“according to Tasha my maturity just drops.” Broadly he shrugged and went back to his meat. 

“I don’t know if that’s better or worse. Gray just gets quiet and moody when she gets hungry.” With a jolt I stopped, the smile slid from my face like oil on metal. Jaw set I dropped my gaze back to the table. “she did get quiet and moody….” 

“ya know it’s too bad that you can’t eat, I bet you’d love Tasha’s cooking.” The good man quickly took back control of the conversation. He didn’t leave me much time to dwell on things.

I produced a half smile. “going off smell alone I’d say so. Technically I can taste I just don’t swallow it.”

“wait, you can taste things? How’s that work?”

“do you know how your taste buds work?”

“well… no but….”

“don’t expect me to get it, I didn’t build my body after all.” Wouldn’t that be interesting? What kind of robot body would I have built if I had the chance? to start I’d put in a jetpack. 

We talked away the rest of the meal pretty easily. Mal enjoyed talking, a fact I rapidly discovered. That’s alright, made it easier on me if I didn’t have to contribute all that much. He paid Gran at the bar then headed back into the town. Jacob was waiting for us at a maintenance entrance with a gang of men and women with him. Grinning proudly, Mal looped his thumbs in his belt loop. “with this many people this shouldn’t be a problem at all.”

“what exactly are we doing?” I tried to ignore the stares the work force was giving me. by now everyone in the settlement knew who I was. The least they could do is get that out of their system when I wasn’t looking. 

“we’ve gotta hook the new purifier and lines up to the old water main.” Jacob provided while he hiked up his pants for good measure. That was nice, didn’t need him living up to the stereotype of plumber. “problem is there’s no way to shut the main off to let us attach. We’re all gonna have to work together to get the new pipe on before the building floods.”

“simple enough right.” Mal laugh.

Out of the corner of my eye I shot him a look. “if you call that simple I’d love to see what you call complicated.” 

“we’re burnin daylight.” With a gruff bark Jacob ordered us all down in the tunnels. Mal took point, leading the way through the confusing network of underground hallways. If he weren’t here I’d probably get myself lost in these things. In no time we were in the utilities building. The tunnel spat us out in the purifier room. in the next room were the nuclear generators they’d already installed. Once this last step was finished they’d turn on the switch and the settlement would have lights for months before anyone needed to do anything. 

Jacob and Mal called out orders and assignments which the rest of us took in stride. In no time we were set up in two teams. One team to remove the section of water main that was still in place, the other to hold the new piece in place until Mal and Jacob got it attached. I was on the hold team. 

“on the count of three people! Gotta do this quick! If the water reaches the generator room before draining it’ll set us back a week!” Jacob barked. 

“we get it old dog! Get on with it!” everybody laughed at the scowl Jacob shot the rest of us. 

“fine then, one, two, three!!” 

The pipe dropped down. water started pouring out in a torrent. Our feet were soaking in no time. My team heaved the new section up to the main. The water just kept coming. We strained, pressed up together to keep the damn thing in place. It fought us every inch. One of us lost their footing and hit the water hard. Suddenly I was not only straining to keep the pipe steady but to keep it from smashing their skull. 

“Jacob, Mal hurry the hell up!” I shouted.

The other team stepped in to help. with just that much added muscle the pipe stayed in place. Water kept pouring out of the seam. Jacob got in there with his drill bit. Mal helped him thread the bolts. Someone else lost their footing and dropped. We were ankle deep now. the first bolt went in, Jacob dropped to a knee to go under next. It made it harder to hold it. my arms were starting to shake. My servos threatened to give out. Should have done a diagnostic before this. damn it. 

If I dropped this now I’d crush Jacob and drown Mal. Eyes screwed shut I mentally willed my joints to hold on a little longer. One at a time the bolts went in. with each one holding the pipe got easier. At last Jacob slipped out of our way, grinning around the water flooding his face. “just a bit more guys, hold on tight, we’re gonna put in a brace then you’re good.”

“hurry up!” someone managed around a strained voice. 

At least the water wasn’t pouring out around our feet anymore. It sloshed a few inches deep. Hopefully it wasn’t enough to get into the generator room. Mal and Jacob slotted a brace in under the new section of pipe. Once it was in place we all staggered back. the humans collapsed up against walls or just splashed to the ground. Jacob checked the connection. A new T bend was now attached to what was left of the water main. The pipe led into the purifiers, big tanks built into the middle of the room.

Mal dashed to the door into the generator room where he slouched with relief. “we did it guys! No flooding! Well done!”

Half hearted tired cheers went up among the team. If they weren’t so exhausted they might have more to say. With stiff movements I sloshed up to Mal’s side. I grinned crookedly. “well, mayor King, you make your grandad proud.” 

“I sure hope so.” He waved a hand at the big fusion generators. “would you like the honor?”

“nah, you deserve it.” 

There was too much excitement in him for arguing. Proudly he strode into the generator room. a console hooked up to the generators sat in a corner. He flicked it on, typed in a few quick commands, and the generators wound up. 

When they were started he span around to beam at them. Then something flickered over his expression and his face fell. “I uh, should have done some fan fair for that huh?”

“I could do a delayed drum roll if that’ll help.”


	21. Red Bandanas and Mutant Hounds

“why are you still following me?”

“to make sure you don’t do something stupid.”

“define stupid.”

“something I would do.”

That wasn’t a half bad threshold. With my hands deep in my pockets and a heavy feeling in my chest I walked along the dusty road back toward Diamond City. After what happened at Fort Hagen I needed a minute to get my head on right. I knew what happened back there, and I’d let it. that voice. Those feelings. They were back except this time it didn’t feel like an invading force. It almost felt like part of me. 

That’s because it is.

Fuck off. 

What’s the problem? You killed Jimmy didn’t you? And you would have killed that woman if you’d just had the guts.

Magnolia doesn’t deserve it.

You don’t even believe those words do you? 

Nick gets to decide how to handle her. 

You’re so weak. It’s no wonder I’m back. 

What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!

You need me, you can’t do anything on your own. 

“shut the fuck up!”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Blinking rapidly I focused in on Photon standing beside me. scowling I doubled our pace. “just hearing things, sorry.”

“god you are losing it aren’t you?” grumbling he kept pace easy with me.

Yeah pretty much. How long did I have until… whatever was going to happen to me happened? Would it be one of those things like in comic books. Where I got trapped in my own head and some other force took the controls? Or would I just stop caring? Would I turn into that, without even realizing it? I’d almost done it back at fort Hagen. I’d almost killed Magnolia in cold blood. 

Don’t get boring on me now.

“hey O'Malley.” 

Photon’s quiet voice was weird enough coming from him that it actually got my attention. he was staring at the ground in front of us as we walked. I’m not sure he was actually seeing it. “what? Gonna make fun of me for losing it?”

“don’t think I need to coco puffs.” Even the insult sounded drained. His shoulders slouched like he carried the heaviest load he ever had. “do you really think Nick’s still alive?” 

“yes.” No hesitation. No indecision. I knew in my gut Nick was still alive and damn near no one was going to tell me otherwise. Least of all this pipsqueak. 

“even after fort Hagen?” 

“especially after fort Hagen.” Jimmy had said something that almost confirmed my gut. Hintzen had Nick, I just had to figure out where. 

Photon squared his shoulders rounding a determined face on me. that was not a look I was used to seeing on him. it took me aback. “I owe that old synth a lot. I’m not about to give up on him or you. but I hope you’ve got a plan.” 

“not much of one.” I admitted with a shrug.

His jaw fell open. “you’re kidding right?”

“no, not really.” 

He came to a dead halt in the middle of the road to keep gaping at me. ignoring him I continued on my merry way. “how is it that you two managed to catch me?! you’re always flying by the seat of your pants! It’s almost inspiring!”

Smiling I glanced toward the bright blue sky. “now that’s an old saying I didn’t expect from you.”

Finally he caught back up with me, doing his best to get my attention with his glaring. “seriously how are you two still alive after all this time? Shouldn’t you have kicked the bucket by now?” 

Technically we both sort of already had. And we had the scars to prove it. I looked forward to the days when we could retire and stop throwing ourselves in danger. 

Photon huffed gaining my attention with a cocked brow. “if it weren’t for you two I’d be dead in a ditch somewhere I just know it. I never did thank you properly for saving my hide back with Brant.”

Sucking in a breath I came to a stop. Photon took a couple steps before turning back to frown at me. the smile I produced didn’t quite reach my eyes. “you reminded me of myself. I got mixed up with some bad people too, and getting out was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. If it weren’t for Nick I wouldn’t have made it. So helping you was just the right thing to do.” 

Sheepishly he dropped his head forward. The lightest of blushes washed over his cheeks which turned my soft smile into an amused one. “I never had anybody that gave a damn about me. not for a while anyway. you two… you’re all I’ve got….” 

“we’re not the only ones.” I threw an arm around his shoulders, grinning. “you’ve got friends like Scot and Zoon. And people at Goodneighbor.”

“it’s not the same.” He shook his head, that blush getting ever worse.

“Photon….” My heart felt like a cannonball left to sit in my chest. I squeezed his shoulders tightly, ignoring the sting in my own eye. “we’re family. Nick and I love you like our own blood. that means that we care and we’re not about to let you forget it.” 

He refused to look at me while he ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks… that means a lot to me. But if you don’t mind could we forget we had this conversation? I’d like to go back to being edgy and annoying.” 

Laughing I slapped him on the shoulder and continued down the broken road. “alright blondie. Will do.”

“also, could you stop calling me that?”

“not a chance.”

“awesome.” He grumbled.

We turned a corner and the front gate of Diamond City came into view. The guards were there as usual. Turrets wound up when they saw us coming, following us with their damn barrels. They didn’t fire at least. Just making sure we knew they could turn us to swiss cheese if so inclined. Once we were inside the parameter they turned away. “we’re going to resupply at the diamond, then head to Goodneighbor to pick up Gracie. If Hintzen heard what I did to Jimmy then he’s going to send people after me soon.”

“that’s your big plan? You’re bait?”

“I told you I don’t have a plan.” There were a couple of people standing just outside the gate. The door was closed. Weird it usually never closed unless there was a Supermutant war party nearby. I recognized the two figures right away. “Sarah! Ellie! What are you doing here?”

The two women turned to face me. Ellie looked irritated beyond reason, while Sarah’s face brightened the moment she saw me. “Vel! Hey! It’s so good to see you!” without a thought to the guards watching she raced up to me and tossed her arms around my neck. 

“yeah, it’s good to see you but what are you doing here?” gently I held her out at arm’s length. Her edges had gotten sharper since I last saw her. That childlike light was still there in her eye but I had a feeling that had more to do with seeing me than anything else. She wore a heavy canvas jacket over the top of an oil stained plaid shirt. Then of course she still wore that ratted torn bandana I’d given her all those years ago. at least it was wrapped around her hand now instead of her neck. To finish it off was a thin white scar that ran down across her left eye. “ya look good, let your hair grow out?” 

“yeah, been working on it since I saw you last time. Like it?” she flicked her braid out over her shoulder. there was a little more grey in it than there used to be. It actually looked good on her.

“I love it, yeah! But you didn’t answer my question.” confused I glanced at Ellie. “how do you two know each other?” 

“that’s a long story.” With folded arms she cast Sarah a dark look.

Who only shrugged. “Mr. Valentine asked me to come.”

“and that’s the abridged version.” 

Laughing I flung an arm around Sarah’s shoulders. It was beyond good to see her. Finally someone I could trust. “we can talk more inside. Why aren’t the gates open?” 

“ask Sullivan.” Ellie jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. 

“hey! Sullivan the hell’s going on?!” I left Sarah to go yelling into the com speaker. It was just a box with a button and holes, you wouldn’t think it deserved my ire. I wasn’t the only one that had come that close to blowing it to pieces. “it’s me O'Malley! Open the damn door!”

“sorry O'Malley, McDonough’s orders.” Came the boyish sympathetic reply. 

With a breath I pulled my anger in. “the last time he pulled this shit he had a riot on his hands. Didn’t he learn that the last time he tried to lock Nick and I out of the city?”

“or Piper.” Ellie mused, counting off the names on her hand. “or Zoon. Or Violet. Or Macready. or any of the minutemen.” 

“open up or we’re gonna call Moe then you’ll have swatters up your ass!” I shouted.

“this isn’t a grudge thing,” a little fear leaked into Sullivan’s voice, which to be honest wasn’t all that rare. Pretty sure he was threatened on a daily basis by someone, he should have been over it by now. “we got reports of raider gangs headed toward the city. We didn’t want to take chances.”

“do we look like raiders?” irritably I waved a hand at the four of us gathered, like he could see it. my eyes strayed over our group only to land on Photon.

He was doing that thing with his hair. When he was trying to make sure it didn’t look stupid only it had the opposite effect. Sarah stood right next to him, completely oblivious and more than a little preoccupied with staring slack jawed at the Diamond. Every once in a while he’d turn to her, notice she wasn’t paying attention, then go back to playing with his hair.

Oh for the love of god.

With a huff I transferred back to the box. “tell ya what Sully-”

“please don’t call me that.”

“just crack the door open, we’ll crawl in.” 

“you know it doesn’t work like that.” he groaned. 

“do I look like I give a damn?”

“I can’t actually see you….” 

“maybe we should go somewhere else.” Sarah offered slowly. Turned around to find her arms crossed and looking a little apprehensive. “Goodneighbor maybe?” 

“Ellie what do you think of that?” 

“if Sullivan’s gonna keep being a prick!” she shouted up at the walls before bringing her voice down when she dropped her gaze back to me. “then lets go.”

“since when do you swear this much?”

“since you moved into the same house.”

We left Sullivan making self deprecating apologies through the speaker to empty space. There was still plenty of light to travel by. We could get back to Goodneighbor with time to spare. Besides that I was in no hurry to go back if Hancock or Violet were there. 

“so!” Photon’s loud voice called loud enough to make me flinch. “I’m Photon! Cause I’m fast and light! Your name’s Sarah?” 

“uh… yeah….” She said slowly, clearly a little uncomfortable with his attention. 

“um…. So uh, how do you know O'Malley?” cheerily he questioned.

“this is painful to watch.” Ellie whispered into my ear. “should we help him?”

“why?” my brows shot up.

“cause he’s making a fool of himself.” 

“that’s his perpetual being.”

“hey!” he snapped. 

Sarah hid a giggle behind her hand. “I’m sorry… it’s just been a while since I met anyone new. Well besides Miss Perkins.” 

Ellie groaned at the sky. “Sarah how many times? It’s just Ellie.” 

“you’re wasting your breath.” I nudged her in the ribs with an elbow. “it took me saving her life oh, how many times was it Sarah?” 

“you know, one of these days I’m going to be the one saving you.”

Smirking I looked at her over my shoulder. she was scowling. “sorry, it’s not gonna be this day.” 

“it’s alright! O'Malley’s saved my skin too many times to count!” Photon laughed like it was something to be proud of. 

“that’s what she and Nick do.” Ellie added, smirking at the scowl that slipped over my face. “they save people.”

My heart sunk, along with my shoulders. Hoping to hide it I shoved my hands in my pockets and strode ahead of the others. “come on guys, Goodneighbor isn’t far.” 

Photon kept on talking as we walked but the other two sensed my discomfort. Or maybe they just knew they should stay quiet in the ruins. We passed by the commons with Swan lounging in his pond. When we turned toward Goodneighbor Photon finally brought his voice down. “that’s weird…. Aren’t there usually Supermutants camped out over there?” 

I glanced at the abandoned camp down the street. “maybe they’re off hunting.”

“I think I see part of a ribcage.” Ellie added in disgust. 

“just keep moving.” The red neon sign of Goodneighbor came into view down the street. A tight knot formed in my stomach. what was I going to say to Hancock if he was here? 

“O'Malley!” a split second after Photon yelled a portion of the street exploded beside me. the blast shot me half way across the street along with rocks and shrapnel. Ears ringing I found my feet before I’d even got my bearings. There were men pouring out of the streets and nearby buildings. Dozens of them. All yelling, and brandishing weapons. 

Ambush? Here? “Photon! Get Ellie and Sarah to the gate!” I yelled firing into the nearest crowd of attackers. Someone put their back to me. a glance over my shoulder provided a view of braided black hair. “Sarah! What the hell are- get through the gate!”

“I’m not leaving you!” she shouted back, firing at our attackers. 

Ellie and Photon were in full retreat. Without any guns they couldn’t fight, they knew it. But that made them easy targets. A chunk of raiders split off from the main group and charged them. They wouldn’t reach the gates in time. “Sarah! With me!” together we moved across the battlefield. Taking turns to fire into the raiders while the other reloaded. We made a fairly good team. She must have been practicing. 

We drove back the raiders from Ellie and Photon. Some of them went for cover in nearby buildings. In fact a lot of them. Shit. 

A missile exploded a mere foot from Photon and Ellie. Sarah and I were knocked to the ground by it. dust, fire and smoke obscured the others from view. We hit the ground so hard my head cracked against the blacktop. Stars danced on my eyes for a few seconds. when I’d finally blinked them out of view a figure stood over me. a raider with an ugly twisted face and missing a nose stood over me, shotgun pointed dead at my chest. “Hintzen sends his regards.”

Someone pistol whipped him hard in the temple. He jerked. The gun went off beside my ear, pulverizing the blacktop beside it. Sarah got between me and him. wide eyed I watched her point her gun dead center on his chest and fire. He went down in a spray of blood. she turned, blood on her cheek. Couldn’t tell if it was hers. 

Blood blossomed on her shoulder. she cried, staggering. I span around to my stomach. the raiders were moving back in. apparently they’d used all the big ordinance they had. Now it was time to finish the job. I shot two in the legs which brought whole groups of them down for a few crucial seconds. 

Sarah grabbed me by the back of the jacket, hauling me to my feet. the raiders were surrounding us. They blocked Goodneighbor off from our view. Just behind them I could see Photon and Ellie lying motionless on the ground. God damn it. 

Things are looking bad aren’t they?

“Sarah stay behind me! keep firing! Body shots!” I barked while we backed away. It was no use. Soon our backs found a wall. The raiders had stopped shooting. They circled us. Licking their lips. No matter how many we killed three more popped up to take their place. There wasn’t an end in sight. 

They closed in greedily. “kill the gray eyed freak! We’ll have fun with the other one!” someone yelled over our heads.

“don’t you fucking touch her!” I punched the first man that came near us with my left hand. pain lanced through my arm. blinking through tears I caught sight of the fist just before it hit me. I fell back against the wall. 

Desperately I dropped my gun and drew my knife. The next guy came in to jab me in the ribs. I stepped into his right hook, twisted and stabbed him through the jaw. With a twist I popped it clean out. He fell back screaming. I stabbed the next guy in the eye. then the next in the kidneys. There were just too many of them. I’d lost track of Sarah. “Sarah! Sarah where are you?!” 

A foot kicked me in the back of the knee. I kept fighting as I fell, stabbing a knee or a leg. A kick in the ribs dropped me to the ground. This was it. they were going to kill me with their bare hands. The personal touch I supposed. 

Get up wimp.

Then they started screaming. Raiders lost interest in me all at once, spinning on the spot. Threw a forest of legs I saw a familiar set of boots standing firmly near the walls of Goodneighbor. Someone was helping Ellie and Photon up. Smartly dressed legs poured out. The raiders dropped like flies. One by one going down in a spray of blood. the smart ones dashed for cover. 

A few fell on top of me with dying breaths. Blood pouring out of their mouths, tears and pain in their faces. I just lay there, fully aware that if I got up now I’d probably just get shredded too. 

“get O'Malley up!”

“those bastards!”

“this is what you get when you attack Goodneighbor!”

“fuck em!” 

The bodies lifted away. I blinked through sweat and blood up at the scarred smiling face over my head. “she’s in one piece Fahrenheit!” 

“not for long! They’re coming back!”

With the ghoul’s help I stood shakily. There were bodies as far as the eye could see. Raiders groaned and moaned on the cracked blacktop. Yet still there was a veritable army hiding away in a building nearby. Neighborhood watch were charging it, guns up. 

Fahrenheit appeared at my elbow, wielding her iconic minigun. She hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. “hey kiddo, still with us?” 

“barely.” Leaning over my knees I panted at the ground. 

“well go inside if you need a break, we can finish them for you.” 

“shut up old woman.”

Not too long ago calling her that would have earned me a cuff on the ear. Which I was prepared to receive. Only she barked out a laugh. That still made me flinch. “then pick up your gun kiddo.” 

Once my gun was back in my hand she and I strode across the street to join the Neighborhood watch. There wasn’t a lot of work left to do. Most of the raiders were already dead or in full retreat back into the ruins. Only a handful kept firing. I leapt passed the line of neighborhood watch into the building. A couple raiders span around on me which only got them a glimpse of my gun before I put them down. 

Fahrenheit leapt in after me, not one to be out done by a kid I suppose. The last of the raiders turned to mush in the face of her minigun. The spectacular show of violence was over just as suddenly as it began. Gripping my bruised jaw I sat on a barricade. “thanks for the save Fahrenheit. Thought we were goners….”

“you almost were. Chris spotted the ambush from his post. I haven’t seen that many idiots in one place since the last time Hancock threw an orgy.”

“oh god, fucking, god damn it, Fahrenheit! Mental images! I’m never gonna get that shit out!” 

“you’re welcome.” She smirked at me evilly. Then the smirk dropped a fraction. “Hancock told me what happened…. I’m sorry that-”

“if he told you what happened then he should have told you what I said.” Through gritted teeth I spoke. From under Nick’s hat I glared at her. “and I don’t need your sympathy.”

Her jaw flexed. Great so even she had written Nick off. What a bunch of god damn bastards. How could any of them call themselves his friend if they just wrote him off. And Fahrenheit of all people! I thought she was loyal to the end. 

“O'Malley!” Photon’s screamed sent me to my feet. we rushed back onto the street. Photon was running back out the gates. Considering he’d been beside a missile when it went off he looked ok. Blood coated his blond hair, blood trickled out of his ears. Plenty of dirt and burns on his clothes. 

“where’s Ellie?!” my heart leapt into my throat. god don’t tell me….

“she’s fine, they got her inside, she’s pretty banged up but the medic says she’s gonna be fine.” He swung around, eyes going wide. “where’s Sarah?!” 

The blood turned to ice in my veins. I’d been so caught up in the fighting I’d lost track of her. Desperate I turned to the last place I’d seen her, like she’d be there. There were plenty of bodies. So many their limbs and blood just ran together. 

Photon saw where I looked. He leapt into the pile, shoving aside bodies and weapons in search of Sarah. I almost went to help but then a ghoul ran up to me and Fahrenheit and delivered even worse news. “Sebastian Atwood’s escaped.”

“what?!” we both snapped at the same time.

The ghoul coward back a step. Sweat would probably be pouring down his face if that were an option. “he must have escaped during all the chaos. I’ve got men searching town for him but I don’t think he’s there….”

“shit.” Fahrenheit slammed her fist hard into the wall beside us, actually chipping off a bit of concrete in the process. “as if we don’t have enough to deal with right now.” 

“should I get more-”

“gather as many men as you can! If that piece of shit gets loose again it’ll be Goodneighbor on the line! Go!” her fierce fiery eyes found mine. “I hate to ask kid, but we could use your help on this.”

“I don’t think-”

“I can’t find her!” Photon’s panicked voice cut me off. He came running up to us, covered in more blood and sweat. “she’s not here! She isn’t anywhere! O'Malley where is she? Where’d she go?!”

“I don’t know.” And that hollow feeling was only getting worse because of it. I scanned the carnage quickly, hoping against hope I’d see her somewhere. Maybe helping injured? But there was no injured, at least not on our side. And she wasn’t standing around. “some of the raiders escaped… they must have… they must have taken her….” 

“we gotta go after her!” angrily Photon grabbed my shoulders and shook me, like I wasn’t the one making sense. “we can’t just leave her!”

“what are you going to do?” Fahrenheit scoffed, staring down her nose contemptuously at him. “you won’t even carry a weapon. You just met the girl too I bet.”

He fixed her with a stony glare. I don’t think I’d ever seen him wear that kind of expression before. “I’ll carry a weapon if it means saving her.”

“you don’t even know where she went. How’re you supposed to save her.” Those cutting words bit him hard.

It also bit me. 

Sarah was my responsibility. If anything happened to her it would be on my head. Nick was important, one of the most important things in my life, but Sarah came in at a close second. While Photon and Fahrenheit argued, which were a couple of the dumbest made up names I’d ever heard, I went looking. There had to be something, some trace of her. Think, look.

It’s hopeless.

Shut up.

Little Sarah’s as good as dead, maybe you should get back to your also dead boyfriend. 

What would Nick be looking for? Something to track her with. But what? Come on focus. Think like Nick. Think like a detective. You’re wearing the damn hat for god’s sake!

You see now? you can’t do shit without him. you’re as helpless as a newborn. Together we could have fought like it mattered. But you. all you managed to do was curl in a ball and let them beat you senseless. What a waste. 

There was too much blood, there’d be no way to figure out which was hers. There were even trails leading in every direction. That wouldn’t work. footprints? If I could find hers in all this chaos. Assuming she wasn’t carried off. If she was that left that theory dead in the water. Think god damn it. there had to be something. 

There’s nothing you can do. 

There, clutched in a dead man’s hand. it was almost too much to hope for so I said nothing aloud as I ran and cracked open his fingers. A crumpled red bandana. Holding it tight in my hand I span on the group. “Photon! Get me Gracie!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how much foreshadowing i threw into this chapter for fun. hope you all are having a good time. things are about to ramp back up, hope you don't get annoyed with the fact i give the characters like 0 downtime. the thing is, i never want to overstay my welcome on these stories so i tend to cut out a lot of padding and fluff that i normally plan to speed things along. some people might not like it so i'm sorry. 
> 
> anyway i'm tired, i've been at a conference all week and let me tell you being an introvert, my body and brain is not built for that much sustained social interactions. 
> 
> so thank you for reading, see you all next week and until then write on!


	22. Escape Attempts?

“did ya see all those -hic- people?”

“Yes, Mal, I saw them.” Chuckling I readjusted my grip on the drunk man’s waist. 

He hung like wet laundry off my shoulders. Any coordination he had was lost by about the seventh round of drinks. Then he’d kept drinking just to ensure there was nothing left. He wasn’t the only one. people staggered out of the Blast Glass in twos or threes. Very nearly all of them stinking drunk. So I supposed the mayor was in good company that way. 

“ya know Nick.” He managed around a very large burp. “you should see if Mr. Hintzen’d do some upgrades to ya. Maybe he can-hic-give you a stomach or something.” 

“I think I’m fine Mal, thanks for the thought.” I wouldn’t even ask Ellison to do that let alone Hintzen. 

“why not?” the little pout tugged at the corners of my mouth. 

“focus on your feet Mal or I’m never getting you home.” It took us way too long to make the walk back to his house. The moment I got him inside the door he strode toward the couch and went face flat on it. 

“that man does not know his own limits.” Tasha appeared out of the back room, half amused, half contemptuous as she looked at her husband. “thanks for bringing him home.”

“he was planning to sleep under a table, I didn’t think you’d like that very much.” It would have amused me though. 

From the bedroom she carried a blanket, draping it over her already snoring husband. A tenderness washed over her face that I hadn’t seen once since my arrival. She put on a good show, but in the end she was a wife and mother like any other. Devoted to her family. That wasn’t to say she didn’t have some bite. And I wasn’t about to test her. 

“he’ll be sleeping until noon.” She announced as she straightened. Her dark angry eyes rounded on me. “I appreciate what you’ve done for Deven and my husband Mr. Valentine.”

“it’s the least I can do.” Guardedly I eyed her. I knew where this was going. 

“but I can’t have you anywhere near my children. Mark wont stop talking about you and I can’t have him being enamored by your stories of the outside world.”

“I wasn’t planning on telling him stories.”

“regardless, I’ll have to ask you to stay at the inn, instead.” 

Yep, that’s what I thought. Probably the only reason she was telling me this now was because her husband was too inebriated to protest. And what ground did I have to argue? I’d probably do the same thing if it were my family. So with a nod I backed up out of the house. “have a good night Mrs. King.” 

If I expected her to change her mind and call back to me, I was dead wrong. Out in the cold night once again I paused to take in the town. this was the closest to prewar life that the wasteland was ever likely to see. At least until the NCR had another hundred years to adapt. It gave me hope. Like any wastelander I longed for the days of stability. But unlike them I actually knew how good things could be. This was the sort of thing Violet was striving to achieve. She’d want to settle here if given the chance. 

Hell, part of me did want to stay now. Hintzen was a bastard and a monster, no matter how much good he did here. And it was that simple fact that made me uneasy. Could I put that aside? Make a life here? After returning Gray to the commonwealth of course. But once I’d done that, would coming back really be that bad? No more fighting, no more pain, just living in peace for the first time in my life. And I could do more here than I could in the commonwealth. 

It was a thought. Not one I was pleased to be having. With a huff I stuck a cigarette in my mouth and lit it. I took a long drag, held it then let it out. The smoke drifted up toward the sky like a little cloud. I watched it go silently until it thinned out. With hands deep in my pockets I strode back toward the front of the town. the party was still going, a few stragglers staggering their way home. I thought about going back in but watching people drink themselves to the floor wasn’t all that entertaining when you couldn’t participate. 

So instead I headed for the inn directly. Not that I needed sleep, though a place to stash myself for the night would be welcome. Luckily there were at least a few caps in my pockets. Don’t ask me how’d I’d held onto them. A tired looking teenager sat at the desk when I entered. He quickly slammed the cover of his comic book closed, snapping to attention. “hi! What can I do for ya?”

“room for one, got any open?” 

“yep! Upstairs. That’ll be ten caps for the night or fifty for the week.” 

I stuck my hand in my pocket and immediately hesitated. there were enough caps in there to pay for a week. Wasn’t sure if I really meant to stay that long. Then amid the little rusted pieces of metal I felt a smooth rounded surface. The ring. “just one night….”

“alright. Give me a sec to find the key.” The kid scurried off into a back door, leaving me alone.

I counted out the caps and dropped them on the counter. With a hand flat against it I leaned forward. Another wave of emotions was washing through me and it was all I could do to keep it together. I’d been an idiot. 

“Nick?!”

Eyes wide I span on the spot. There, standing in the doorway, backlit by the orange glow of the lights outside stood Magnolia. She looked the worse for wear. Her usually groomed hair was plastered to her forehead with sweat. There was grime on her face and clothes. Her hoody was torn too. it didn’t matter. “aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” without even thinking about it I covered the distance between us in a few strides. I had her wrapped in my arms before she could stop me.

“oh my god….” She whispered hoarsely, I felt her hands bunched up in my shirt on my back. Her entire frame shook under my embrace. “I was starting to think you’d actually been killed…. God she was right….” 

“killed? I go radio silent for a couple days and everyone assumes I kick the bucket?” laughing wasn’t easy. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her, missed any of them, until she walked through that door. “have a little more faith than that Mags.” 

She shook her head into my shoulder. “we saw the sentry bot crash into you, saw the explosion. They didn’t think you could survive that.” 

“What? But that was days ago….” confused I let the embrace go to look her in the eye. there were fresh tears on her face. under them I could see the red puffy eyes. “Mags what happened? Why are you crying?” 

“they think you’re dead.” a gravely voice entered the conversation drawing my attention up. Scot stood just outside the inn on the dirt square. He wore his usual neighborhood watch suit and vest. A heavy look on his scarred face made me freeze.

“who’s they?”

“Hancock, Violet, Macready, Fahrenheit, they all think you’re dead.” Mags composed herself with a few quick swipes at her cheeks. “when the Rust Devils attacked we saw you go down. they couldn’t find you in the rubble so everybody just assumed you’d been destroyed. She refused to believe it.”

“hold on.” Angrily I tossed up a hand to stop her talking. “what you’re saying doesn’t make sense. It was close but that bot didn’t get me. Gray and I came here after that and she…. The timeline doesn’t add up.” 

“wait, what are you talking about?” Scot strode up to us, confused and a little angry maybe. “you came here yourself?”

“yes.”

“no Nick.” Mags grabbed my arms to force me to look at her. She was glaring. “what do you remember?”

I hesitated. it seemed so obvious when I wasn’t trying to think about it. now while I cast my mind back things got jumbled up again. All I could remember was the sentry bot, then running into Deven with Gray limp in my arms. Nothing in between. That made no sense yet my mind couldn’t do anything about it. “Gray’s dead….”

“what?!” Scot blurted.

Mag’s face went even darker.

“she got shot…. they tried to save her but she died on the operating table…. I’m sorry guys I couldn’t save her….” Miserably I slid myself free of Mags’ arms to walk out into the night. The cool air might help clear my head.

“that bastard….” Mags’ angry growl didn’t even turn my head. “Nick, Gray isn’t dead. she’s back at the commonwealth safe and sound.” 

“don’t try to confuse me Mags, it’s already been one hell of a ride this week.” 

“listen to me you pile of circuits and light bulbs!” alright that got my attention. gradually I turned back around to face her. She bared her teeth, so angry that if she hit me I’d see it coming. “Gray isn’t dead. the Sentry bot knocked you out and I’m willing to bet Hintzen brought you here. He’s screwed with your memory.”

“not possible.” firmly I shook my head. “I’ve got safe guards in place to make sure nobody can do anything to my memory, erase it or tamper with it.”

“what about adding to it?”

Any argument I had against that disappeared. I hadn’t considered that. neither had Ellison when we put the firewalls in. someone could add memories to my head and I wouldn’t even know the difference. In theory. My mind was so insistent that Gray was gone it didn’t even feel right. the fact was that Mags and Scot were both here telling me the same thing. Unless it was an elaborate ploy by Hintzen to screw with me, why shouldn’t I believe them?

“if Gray isn’t dead then why isn’t she here? Why didn’t she come with you?” the one flaw in their arguments. I couldn’t believe that Gray would just stay behind and let these two find me. if she was alive she’d tear up the entire wasteland until she found me. 

Mags let her head fall forward in shame. There was guilt in the lines of her grimace. Eventually, Scot stepped in when he decided she wasn’t willing to speak. “something’s wrong with her Nick. O'Malley’s gone off the deep end. We found Jimmy and she killed him, brutally. Then she turned on Magnolia. We came here on our own because we’re worried about her.”

Gone off the deep end? That wasn’t possible, not this soon. Amari had only just fixed her how could there be bleeding this soon? And why would she turn on Mags? The slip could have been so bad she could no longer distinguish between friends and enemies. It made no sense, something had to have triggered it. “Mags, tell me what happened. Give me every detail.”

“we don’t have time for that Nick.” Frustrated she reached out to my arm but I took a step back to stay just out of reach. Angry she threw her arms in the air. “don’t be such a stubborn old man. Gray needs you more than ever. If we leave now we can be back in Goodneighbor before noon tomorrow.” 

“how do I know this isn’t a trap set by Hintzen to lure me out of the town? I’m not an idiot and neither is he. He knows he can’t attack me here.” 

“I’d accuse you of being paranoid but honestly given all of this, you’ve got the right to be.” Speaking a dry humorless tone, Scot stepped up to me. “you’ve got two options here. Believe what your mind is telling you and live with the fact that Vel is dead. or believe what we’re telling you and come back to the commonwealth with us.” 

“when you put it that way….” As much as I hated to admit it. if there was a chance that Gray really was alive, then I’d take whatever risk went with it. still didn’t know exactly what to think here. Which could I trust more? My own head, or Mags and Scot? Didn’t seem to matter. “alright you’ve got me. lets go.” 

Mags sighed in relief, her shoulders slouched back to a neutral position. Didn’t even realize she was carrying that much tension in her. “good, great! Lets get going.” 

“wait, Valentine, you’re leaving?” the teenager from the inn stepped outside to gape at me. can’t be that surprised, this was always meant to be temporary. 

“sorry kid, tell Mal thanks for everything he’s done, but I’ve gotta go back.” to gray, hopefully. So long as this didn’t turn out to be a damn trap set by Hintzen. He wasn’t beyond that much cruelty. 

“you won’t even stay just one more night?” 

I shook my head. 

Grimacing he nodded. “alright, I guess, good luck then. Be careful out there.” 

“we’ll be fine, come on Nick.” Mags grabbed my hand, hauling me toward the gates. 

“I don’t have a weapon.” 

“it’s not that dangerous once you’re out of these ruins.” Scot offered with little in the way of comfort. “we’ll be fine once we’re on the road.” 

Wasn’t so sure about that. I hadn’t had the chance to see what was out in the ruins around Deven. If the height and thickness of the walls were any indication it wasn’t good. There were ghouls, that much I knew, and a lot of them. Wondered if they’d even open the gates at this hour for us. 

We reached them just as they were about to close. The guards barley said anything to us as we left. I got the distinct impression they were happy to see the back of me. once on the other side the doors swung closed with a resounding thud. It gave this whole situation a sense of finality. Was it right to leave this way? I hadn’t even said goodbye to Mal. 

“Nick?”

I was staring at the gates with a longing expression, I hadn’t even realized. Shaking my head I turned on Mags. “alright, lets go. There’s nothing here. So long as you’re not lying to me.”

“we’re not.” Scot assured me. 

“lets just get moving.” The sooner we were back in the commonwealth the sooner I’d know. And if they were lying, if Gray was really dead and still with Hintzen, I’d come back for her. Taking her with wasn’t an option right now. 

With no moon all we had to navigate by were the stars. The ruins looked sinister in that light. Shadows so deep they might as well have been portals to space. There were a couple of ghoul corpses just outside the gates. Probably done in by the guards. “so which way?”

“this way.” Mags peeled off to the left, passed a half collapsed administration building. Going off my internal compass we were headed south east. So we were just north of the Commonwealth. I wondered how long it would take to get home. A few hours? If the other two didn’t need to rest. 

Scot looked fine, but Mags looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. Part of me wanted to comfort her, ask her how she was doing. I wasn’t entirely convinced this wasn’t a trick though. so instead I glanced back at Scot. “so Murtagh is dead is he? Gray got him?”

“yeah.” With his hands in his pockets he sauntered up next to me. Mags kept ahead of us, leading the way through the ruined alleys and streets. “Magnolia and Vel tracked him down to Fort Hagen’s satellite array. We had some trouble with the Rust Devils.”

“the Rust Devils, why didn’t we think to raid their base before?”

“cause you didn’t know that Hintzen was broadcasting orders from outside of the commonwealth. He needed a big antenna to make that work.” something growled in the distance forcing us to shut down our conversation for a few seconds. 

Once the growling was left far behind I spoke again. “how did you two find me? if I was kidnapped.” 

“Ellison’s beacon.” Mags announced from the front. “Gray couldn’t pick you up on her Pipboy cause you were too far away. But Ellison could find it using Satellite station Tasha out by sanctuary. Once she triangulated your position it only took us a few hours to get out here.” 

“smart.” 

“I know you’re disappointed that Gray isn’t here with us, but don’t worry, you’ll be back together soon enough.”

“one way or another.” With narrowed eyes I peered around the street. We were walking across an intersection. Directly east I could see the freeway entrance that used to connect Deven to the rest of the country. There wasn’t a single sound in the dark. “if Gray killed Jimmy… I doubt Hintzen is going to take that lying down. he’s going to be out for her blood.”

“all the more reason to get home so we can help her.” Scot strode ahead of us.

But Mags and I were stopped in the intersection, staring at each other. “what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that if he’s out for Gray because she killed Jimmy, then he’s going to be after everyone that was there.” gradually I met her blue eyed gaze. A hole dropped out in the pit of my stomach. “Mags… who else was with Gray when she killed Jimmy?”

It looked like she’d seen a ghost. Her face so stricken and pale. “Photon, Me, and-”

A single shot pierced the night before the air went still again. Me and Mags flinched, spinning on the spot. The night was too thick. It took us both a few seconds before we saw him. Scot lay face flat on the dusty road. Unmoving. 

Mags started striding toward him but I caught her hand and bolted in the opposite direction. We had to get to cover. Where the hell had that shot come from? Didn’t matter, once buildings were around us we’d be safe. Could we make it back to Deven? That’s the only option we had. Hintzen wouldn’t attack us within the walls, I’d been right about that. but we’d still walked right into his god damn trap. 

“we can’t leave him!” she tugged on me.

“we have to!” I didn’t let her struggling slow me down. we turned down an alley and darkness encased us. With a blink I brought up my half night vision. It was enough to navigate by. And afforded me a glimpse of the Protectron that rounded the corner before it smashed into me. it had lifting claws on the end of its hands, which was preferable to the medical models. 

With those claws it crashed into me and carried me clean across the alley. Its hands buried in the brick wall behind me on either side. Its servos whined with the strain, pressed up against me and trapping me to the wall. “sorry buddy, but I don’t swing that way.” I grunted before smashing my hand through its glass face plate. Didn’t feel a thing with my right hand. my fingers got in under its eyes. with a wrench I tore its entire brain out in one jerk. 

The robot ceased up. Mags got in behind it. between the two of us we managed to dislodge it from the wall and free me. she panted over her knees, terror in her eyes. understandable. We were in unknown territory, being chased by an unknown number of enemies, with unknown capabilities. 

Just the usual day at the office. 

“come on, if we make it back to Deven we’ll be safe. Hintzen’s army won’t attack us there.” 

“I sure as hell hope you’re right.” there were tears clinging to her eyes. for Scot. I understood. But I couldn’t mourn, not yet. Not while we were being shot at. 

Which we suddenly were. The wall beside us exploded with bright red light. Leaving scorches the size of my head behind. Mags tore off down the nearest alley, with me close at her heels. If anyone knew where they were going it was her. She’d spent more time out here than me. 

Not by much.

The alley ended abruptly, spitting us out onto a two-lane road. Directly across the street was nothing but a block’s worth of store fronts. All broken display cases and boarded up walls. The trundling footsteps reached us from behind. I risked a glance back just to see what kind of robot we were dealing with. Assaultron. Perfect. 

Its face burst with a red laser. Wildly I grabbed Mags around the waist, bearing us to the left out of the way. The laser melted the air just over our heads, leaving behind the smell of ozone and smoke. It would take a few minutes to wind back up. But more trundling steps came around the far corner. We had to get off the streets, this was just gonna get us killed. 

Mags had barely found her feet before I was dragging her across the road. “Nick, what are you-”

I leapt through what was left of a shop window into a clothing store on the other side. Mags tumbled in after me, getting tangled in the curtain that usually hung behind the display. Once we were up we discovered an entire room of mannequins just staring at us. All in various states of torment and decay. “I hate mannequins.” She grumbled. 

“you’re going to hate them a lot more if you die with them, come on.” The shop appeared to be mostly intact. Apparently clothing stores weren’t high on looters’ lists. We zigzagged around racks and shelves, knocking over a couple mannequins for good measure. The front of the store exploded just as we cleared the back exit. Whole chunks of splintered wood lodged in the wall by our heads. 

The shop was connected to the rest of the shops along the row by a back hallway. Left or right. by this time I’d lost all sense of direction. Which way was toward Deven and which was toward painful death. Mags looked as lost as I did. Swinging her head back and forth. Eventually she settled and turned right down the corridor. Just in time as the robots came crashing through the glass.

“please remain calm!” Handies, it just had to be Handies. Their accents could have made death by them comical. If it weren’t so brutal. 

There didn’t appear to be an end in sight. The hall just kept going, and going. Every now and then it would break off into another shop which led back out onto the street where that damn Assaultron was waiting. There had to be street access somewhere. And emergency exit, a docking bay anything! 

At last the corridor opened up into a wide delivery room. shelves ceiling high lined the space up and down. Mags leapt in first, racing down one aisle just ahead of me. I risked a glance down the hall before following. Three Handies, with oversized buzz saws pursued us relentlessly. What were their orders I wondered? Shoot to kill? Or in their case, cut to kill. Didn’t stick around to find out.

Mags was on the other end of the room when I reached her, desperately trying to haul up a garage door. “it won’t move!” she groaned as she strained. 

“let me. shoot the Handies.” We traded places, she drawing her gun as she went. With her at my back I focused in on the door. the track must have been jammed or something. it was just a garage door for god’s sake it shouldn’t be this hard. I got my fingers in under the lip. Even with the full strength of my legs behind it the door moved agonizingly slow.

Mags started firing. The heavy thud of her Magnum echoed around in the warehouse. One explosion signaled the end of a Handy, quickly followed by another. Those rounds could punch through their armor plating better than anything Gray or I ever used. Only problem was…. Her firing stopped. She swore. “reloading!”

Now I was beginning to understand why Gray had such a problem with my revolver. Now wasn’t the time to reload. bit by bit the door gave way. A foot, then two. After that it wouldn’t move. “Mags! Come on!” 

“you go first!” she backed up a little.

My chivalry wanted to argue, logic knew better. I got down on my hands a knees, wriggling under the door one limb at a time. I got out. Mags was shooting again. Going down on my belly I reached through the door. “Move it Mags! Hand!”

She dropped. I saw her sweaty face under the door, the fear. I wouldn’t let her die. Not like Gray, not like Scot. She grasped my hand and I hauled her out in one fluid motion. We sprawled in the dirty alley on the other side, scrambling to find our footing. On the other side a buzz saw crashed through the door. sparks flew as it cut. We didn’t have much time.

Together we bolted to our feet, careening down the nearest alley back toward familiar territory. Just over the top of the buildings I could see the glow of Deven. We were close. Maybe a block. Hopefully the robots would break off their pursuit as soon as we were within sight of the guards. If not then lets just hope the guards wouldn’t wait on opening the gates. 

One more turn brought us back onto a main road. At least it was one I recognized. Just ahead. We turned right down an alley and we’d be right at the gate. if only it were that simple. it was never that simple. 

We reached the alley but they were waiting for us. An arm crackling with electricity shot out and caught Mags first. She bucked, her entire body going rigid as she hit the pavement. Her gun flew from her hand to the ground. The medical Protectron stepped out of the alley, flanked by two others. “Protect and serve.” It said mechanically.

“you call that serving?!” I smashed its face plate with my right fist. The force was enough to send it stumbling. Just long enough for me to scoop Mags up and take her gun. 

She stumbled along with me, groggily trying to talk. “N-Nick… leave me.”

“don’t be an idiot.” I hauled her further up the road, leaving the Protectrons behind. There had to be another way. This was a town not a god damn maze. Eventually it would cut through the buildings. 

“he’s going to kill you, you’ve got to get out of here.”

“he’s going to kill us.” 

“Nick just listen to me, go!” 

“not going to happen.”

“damn it Nick!” she pushed me away and sank to her knees. I span on the spot gaping at her while she glared. “just go. If you die because you were trying to save me I’ll never be able to face Gray again.”

“this isn’t the time Mags, get up!” I tried to pull her up but she actively refused. Over her shoulder the Protectrons were rumbling toward us. They’d be on us in a matter of seconds. 

“you don’t stand a chance with me! just go!”

“Mags I love you god damn it, don’t do this!” what?!

I thought the medical Protectrons would be like any other. Limited range. I was so wrong. They pointed their hands at us and literally fired them at us. Two electrified hands hit me square in the chest. My back arched as pain drove into me. my mind flicked off for a few seconds before coming back on. I was on my hands and knees in front of Mags. She was screaming something but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t hear anything. 

She bucked when a Protectron jabbed her in the back. silently she screamed then fell beside me. I tried to move. To get my limbs to work. they wouldn’t do anything. Mags wasn’t moving either. She just lay there. I couldn’t lose her too. not like Jenny, not like Gray. Not Mags too. 

I was powerless as the Protectron legs stood around us. Their hands crackled over our heads. Why weren’t they finishing the job?! What the hell was taking them so damn long?! This was what they’d come here to do wasn’t it?! 

A set of robotic legs walked smoothly into my line of sight. At first I thought they were shoes but no. I could see servos, circuits and joints under the translucent black plastic skin. A voice, as smooth as any I’d ever heard spoke over my head. “well… this does seem familiar. Brings back memories doesn’t it, prototype?” 

Groaning I tried to get my head to look up. Nothing. all my joints were locked up. I’d never felt anything like this before. yes I had. When Ellison and Gray had stopped Kellogg. This was almost exactly like that. 

“and you C2-41, it’s been a very long time.” That voice kept talking. It was smooth but it felt like nails on a chalk board to me. it filled me with dread. But why? I’d never heard it before I my life. Why was I so… scared? 

“wrap this up, bring them back to the lab. It’s time for project Next Generation to continue.” 

Sparks flew and my mind went blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody got any theories? 
> 
> I don't have much to say, it's early and I haven't had any breakfast yet. 
> 
> So thank you so much for reading, see you all next week! and until then Write on!


	23. Bullets aren't Much Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> Extreme violence and gore ahead! 
> 
> See you on the other side.

I shouldn’t have been surprise Gracie led us to this fucking place. As always her sharp nose didn’t lead us wrong. The bandana was Sarah’s I was sure of it. and when we reached that god damn place it only confirmed it. we were standing outside the parking garage next to Fallon’s department store. It took us too long to get here. It was no coincidence that Sarah had gone missing at the same time Atwood escaped or those damn raiders tried to kill me. it all went back to Hintzen. 

“he’s probably only had enough time to reset some of the traps but that doesn’t make this place any less dangerous.” Grimly I checked my magazine and the spares I kept in my pocket. Plenty of bullets. Like bullets would do us any good in this fucked up maze. 

Beside me Photon shifted foot to foot, glaring up at the parking structure. Sweat dripped down the side of his face. probably remembering what Sebastian Atwood had nearly done to him. 

“Photon, if you’re not with me, I don’t need you in there.” with a tight voice I spoke, trying not to sound as impatient as I felt. What I really wanted to say was if he couldn’t man the fuck up I’d cap him in the knee to keep him off my back. 

Defiantly he shook his head. “no, no I’m helping get her back. that psycho tried to kill me, I’m not going to let him kill Sarah.” 

“then stick close to me and don’t wonder off.” 

Gracie whined at my knee. Her part was done, but somehow I felt like we needed her still. 

Grimacing I knelt down in front of her. “stay behind me, don’t attack unless I say so. Understand?” 

Another whimper. Miserably she licked at my hand.

“yeah, I’m worried about her too.” 

There wasn’t anything else to be said. Purposefully we strode through the first door. right into a one of those god damn tambourine monkeys. With glowing red eyes it slapped its stupid little things together. Photon dashed forward and kicked it hard down the hall where it smashed into a pile of corpses and stopped. 

“that could have been a bomb you idiot.” Snarling I grabbed him by the front of the shirt, hauled him up into my face. “I told you to stay behind me! listen to me or we’re not making it out of here alive!”

“I’m just sick of his fucking gloating.” He glared after the monkey like it was Atwood. 

With a sigh I dropped his shirt. “don’t do that again.” Things were already bad enough without having to worry about him and these damn traps.

We moved as carefully as we could down the hall. Thankfully I remembered the way pretty easily. My last visit here had essentially burned it into my memory. There were still signs of the last time I came through here. Traps that had been tripped, bullet casings, couple of dead Radroaches and Ghouls for good measure. One or two of the traps had been reset, like I thought. Mostly new mines we hadn’t collected. Photon and I set the first one off that we saw at a distance with a bullet.

That’s when we drew Sebastian’s attention. “ah, the fearless heroes have come at last. Do you hear that little mouse?” his high pitched grating voice played over the dozens of speakers he had dotted throughout the maze. Once, just once I’d like to find all those and blow them to pieces. “they’re coming, just like you said they would.”

“Sebastian! You fucking bastard!” Photon screamed at the ceiling.

“ignore him.” I grumbled, dragging him deeper into the maze by the arm. “he’s just trying to piss us off.” 

“and once again we face each other, only this time you don’t have your detective boyfriend with you to help.” Sebastian’s words brought the ache back, enforce. My hand went to my gun even though there was no reason to draw it. I couldn’t wait to finally put this freak down. “it must be an awful thing you’re going through. To have loved and lost! I only wish I’d been the one to take him from you!!”

At our backs Gracie started to growl menacingly. If she understood the words or was just getting annoyed I couldn’t tell. She was a smart enough dog, maybe she’d already long figured out what was going on. We turned a corner onto the first ramp. The scales were still scattered across the space. I hadn’t even disarmed all of them before, I couldn’t take the chance that he hadn’t undone that. “don’t touch anything. Gracie! Don’t step on these.” I pointed at a scale and glared at her. She got the message. 

Photon went ahead of me. It was sometimes hard to forget that he had actually been a decent thief when Nick and I caught him. lightly he stepped around each of the traps, tip toing on the edge of the room like some kind of acrobat. Now and then he’d stoop and disarm a trap to make mine and Gracie’s way easier. He made it to the other side without so much as a stumble. Once there he turned around. “Gracie next, I cleared enough traps she should be fine.” 

“alright Gracie, time to go.” Gently I nudged her with my knee. 

Whimpering, ears flat against her head, she stalked across the literal mine field. I followed her close behind, making sure she wouldn’t try to turn back around. Photon knelt down on the other side, coaxing her. I’d never seen him act this good to her. It shocked me to say the least. 

Once she was in reach he grabbed her collar and hauled her the rest of the way. I leapt the last few feet. “good job, good job girl.” Patting her head he sounded for the first time, like he cared. 

Meekly she wagged her tail.

“oh yes! Oh yes! Well done! The fearless heroes press on in spite of knowing that their efforts are in vein.” Sebastian’s irritating voice blasted over the speakers. How the hell could he even see us? I hadn’t spotted any cameras. 

“can I cut his tongue out before we kill him?” Photon grumbled.

“be my guest.” There was still a lot of ground to cover. Why hadn’t I set fire to this fucking maze when we left it? the next floor at least didn’t have much in way of traps or dangers. 

Just plenty of Sebastian’s god damn voice laughing over the intercom. “Hintzen told me some things about you when he let me out. He told me all about your little secret. Tell me O'Malley, is it true that you’re a synth?”

The blood ran cold in my veins. Without thinking I came to a dead stop on the ramp to the next floor. Two paces ahead Photon stopped and turned to face me. shock all over his face. Gracie huffed, like she couldn’t believe we were taking so long. If she understood what Sebastian was saying I doubted she’d care. 

“judging by the silence it must be true! How delightful!” he cackled, forcing the speakers to crackle in pain. 

“Photon….”

“why aren’t you trying to deny it?” somehow he kept his voice down. anybody else might have already started shouting or something. “why aren’t you telling him to go fuck himself?”

“because I can’t.” I answered hollowly. Even if I’d managed to deny it would he have believed me? 

Shaking his head he backed up a few paces. “does Nick know? How long have you been a synth?”

“Nick knows, he was there. I’ve been a synth for just over three years.” I thrust my arms out, almost inviting him to start screaming at me. “is that a problem? You didn’t know the original, all you’ve known is me. I’m a three year old synth, alright? Surprise!” 

The shock disappeared, replaced by utter amusement. He snickered. “you’re three years old? And your dating a hundred something year old?”

“uh….” What was with the sudden shift in attitudes? Why wasn’t he trying to kill me? 

Instead of killing me he was laughing, in my face near as I could tell. At his knee Gracie tilted her head at him, confused as me. “so I guess that makes Nick a pedophile! Oh my god! He’s dating a baby!”

I could have sworn I’d had this exact same exchange with Macready not too long ago. there was a lot less anger this time, just a shit ton of shock. “you just learned I’m a synth and the bit you focus on is the fact I’m dating a man thirty times my age?” 

“oh my god it’s even funnier when you put it that way!” 

“this is boring! Why don’t you just kill her already?!” Atwood screeched so loud I could have sworn I heard him somewhere deeper in the garage. 

Photon recovered himself, glaring up at the ceiling. “jokes on you! I’m from out west! I don’t give a rat’s ass about that synth shit!” 

“for once I actually appreciate your ignorance.” I chuckled a little shakily. It was then that I noticed my gun was half way out of its holster. Carefully I slipped it back in before he noticed. 

Photon smirked at me. “that’s me, sometimes being an idiot is a good thing.” 

“I’m sure the mouse would agree with you! what do you say?!” a scream split the air, the speakers crackled out uselessly but Sarah’s voice still reached us from above. 

Photon span on the spot. Together we bolted up the ramp to the next floor. This floor had been full of all kind of nasty beasts when I came through before. I didn’t know how Atwood managed to get all of them in here and I didn’t give a damn. It was empty now. 

On the speakers Sebastian had finally stopped gloating. Instead Sarah’s sobbing played in the background. Just ahead of me Photon had gone deathly quiet. Fists so tight his knuckles turned white. I couldn’t really believe that he was this protective of a woman he’d only just met. To be young and stupid. 

The last floor was littered with traps. Once again, not all of them disarmed. Photon didn’t wait for me this time. Without even a glance back he picked his way through the mine field. He didn’t even disarm any of them. “Photon! Wait! Don’t get reckless!” 

“he’s going to pay for this!” he shouted back at me, already across the room. “I’m going to kick his ass!” 

“Photon wait for me!” I scrambled after him. Gracie barked frantically but kept close to me. she’d already figured out the game of avoiding the traps. Photon slipped around the corner out of sight. There were three doors ahead. If he didn’t remember which one was right he’d be killed. “Photon! God damn it you idiot! Come back!” 

Over the top of Sarah’s sobbing Sebastian cackled. 

A cold hand gripped my heart. Something in me must have known. 

As soon as I was across the room, the explosion went off. There wasn’t even a scream. I knew better than to hope it meant that he’d avoided it. sweat started pouring down my temple. Me and Gracie rounded the corner and my legs went weak. 

Photon had chosen the right door but it didn’t matter. Sebastian had rigged it too. that fucking bastard. 

Spikes jutted out of the metal wall. A small scorch mark surrounded the doorway deeper into the maze. I’d walked through that door just fine over a week ago. I wouldn’t have even looked. Photon hadn’t either. He hung from the wall directly across from the open doorway. Spikes impaled him to the wall, some in his legs, some in his arms a couple in his chest. One in his collar bone. Blood dripped through his clothes to the floor in a thick pool. 

“oh god…. Photon I’m-” my voice caught in my throat when he gave a shuddering rattling breath. Wide eyed I dashed forward. “Photon? Stay with me, alright I’ll get you out of this. please.”

Blinking blearily he lifted his head just enough to look at me. blood poured out of his mouth. I could hear it gargling around in his chest. “I … messed up…. I’m sorry Vel….”

“sh, sh, it’s alright, don’t talk.”

Painfully he chuckled a weak smile on his face. “never been… able to stop me….”

The tears were already streaming. Why did it have to be Photon? He didn’t deserve it! he was the last one that deserved it. he was a kid too. at his age Vel had barely gotten out of the gang. Everything happened after that. why did it have to happen like this? 

Ease his pain.

I took out a Med-X and jabbed him in the stomach. it wouldn’t take the pain away, but it would do something.

That’s not what I meant. 

The corners of his mouth twitched upward. “hey O'Malley….”

“yeah?”

“do me a favor…. Tell Sarah I was awesome alright?” his voice was going. 

“I’ll tell her.” My throat was starting to close up. He was dying and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. god damn it why?! why did this have to happen?! Sebastian! Hintzen! You were all to blame! I’d kill you! I’d tear you apart like a boiled Mirelurk! 

“th-thanks.” Photon’s head fell back against the wall, a mist covered his eyes. “I … feel cheated…. Thought they promised a light.” 

“I swear Photon, I’ll get revenge for you. I’ll tell Sarah that you were a goddamn super hero. Just don’t… don’t leave me too….” 

Silence.

Well, looks like the blond kicked the bucket.

I screamed, collapsing to my knees in his blood. somewhere outside my mind I registered Sebastian’s laughter. Gracie’s growling. The gentle drip, drip of Photon’s blood. Sarah’s sobbing. My mind was going blank. Photon was just trying to do the right thing and he was dead. He was my friend, he reminded me of me, and he was dead. All because we’d convinced him to do the right thing. God damn it! 

Are you really having a break down now?

No, no I wasn’t. while the tears kept falling I swayed to my feet. my wrist burned so bad now it might as well have been on fire. Holding my gun didn’t help. drawing it didn’t help. all that would help was pulling the trigger. In a half daze I strode through the door into the next room. this was where I’d found Nick and Photon before. the cages were still here, only empty now. 

“Upstairs detective!!” Atwood cackled.

The roof then. My feet found the way to the last ramp without any input from me. it was pitch-black outside. The stars barely shined, there was no moon. The glow of fires licked at the black sky from the Supermutant camp at Fallon’s. it wasn’t enough to see anything. 

“Hello Detective.”

My gaze shifted smoothly to the corner of the parking structure. Sebastian stood there, his arm wrapped around Sarah’s chest. She hung limp in his arms, the right side of her head covered in blood. I glimpsed what was left of her ear beneath her matted hair. 

Sebastian smiled like he’d set a trap for me or something. like he’d won. “so sorry to hear about little Photon, he sounded… well stupid is-” I shot him in the leg. He screamed and dropped, Sarah collapsing beside him. 

While he kept screaming I strode quickly forward. Sarah lay unmoving on the concrete, blood still pumping from the wound on her head. Carefully I lifted her head into my lap. All I had was her bandana for a bandage. I pressed it to her head. Still breathing. Thank god. “you’re lucky Atwood, if you’d killed her I wouldn’t have held back at all.” 

He was trying to crawl away, one of his legs dragging uselessly behind him. I hadn’t hit his artery, but I’d shattered his kneecap. painful, and crippling. He was as good as dead. “no! I was supposed to win! You’re not the hero!”

Sighing I glanced at Gracie who was growling menacingly at the serial killer. “Gracie… leg.”

She leapt on him, gnashing her giant jaws. His yelling turned into agonized screams. Out of the corner of my eye I watched her tear and rip at his already broken leg. Between her teeth his bones snapped in half. She shredded his muscles and flesh with her claws. With a few quick jerks of her head she broke his knee. All while he kept screaming.

“it’s a good thing Sarah’s unconscious. I wouldn’t want her to see any of this.” carefully I lifted her off the ground in my arms. There was an old rusted car nearby. I put her down on the hood. Her face was pale under all that blood, but serene. That’s good. She didn’t need to see the horrors of the wasteland up close and personal. 

With one final snap Gracie jerked the lower part of his leg off. He panted, lying in a shaking mess on the ground. With a disgust jerk she tossed the leg over the edge of the parking structure. “smart dog.” I murmured more to myself than him. “guess she knows you’re not even worth eating.”

Sebastian flinched when I stood over him. he was chalky white, sweating like a Molerat in the summer sun. “you… you’re not supposed to win…. heroes don’t-”

“exist.” I finished dully. Hunkering down I tilted my head at his blood splattered face. “and even if they did do I look like one? Nick is. He’s a god damn knight in shining armor, at least by wasteland standards. He brings out the best in me and without him… well…. Gracie, arm.”

She barely needed the prompting. Now that she had blood on her tongue she was eager to rip and tear some more. With a paw on his elbow she went to work on his hand. screams split the air as she twisted. His tendons snapped with barely audible twangs. 

“I told you I’d be merciful, I didn’t say anything about my dog.” And this was so much more satisfying to watch than ripping him apart myself. My gun went back in its holster. Who needed that? I’d won. His arm came off at the elbow. White bone gleamed in the dark. In the dim light I couldn’t get a good look at the damages. Probably just as well. I doubted I had the stomach. 

Sebastian’s screams went quiet. Then came the laughter. He smiled broadly around the pain, grinning up at me. “you’re like me!!! Why didn’t I see it before?! you’re like me and you’ve been hiding it!” 

“don’t be a fool.” With a fist tangled up in his hair I lifted his face to mine. “I’m a killer sure, but I’m nothing like you. You kill for no reason, randomly. I kill with purpose. Those that have wronged me or those close to me. and you’ve killed my friend.”

That fucking smile spread even wider, if that were possible. “if I didn’t kill him, you’d have killed him in time. Believe me, I know.” 

I smashed his face into the concrete. Blood spurted from his nose. it wasn’t enough. I lifted his head and brought it down again. And again, and again. Each time I felt his face fracture just a little more. When I finally let up he rolled to his back. His face was just a mish mash of bloody human features that didn’t quite work together anymore. Broken teeth, split lips, utterly smashed nose. 

“tell me what you know about Hintzen. Do that and I’ll make it quick.” My voice was as unfeeling as ever. 

“I don’ know….” He moaned through his shattered mouth. “he tol’ me… kidna’ Sarah….” 

“then you’re useless.” To me at any rate. He had one thing he could be useful for. 

I grabbed a fist full of his hair one more time. His painful moans fallowed me as I dragged him across the parking structure. I’m not sure where all that strength came from. He wasn’t exactly light. That didn’t seem to matter. We reached the far side of the parking structure closest to Fallon’s. I stuck my fingers in my mouth and whistled shrilly. Howls of mutant hounds went up from the streets below. They came bounding around the corner, eager to see what was calling them. 

“last chance Sebastian.” How did I manage to hold him up, let alone hold him over the edge of the parking structure? Eh who cared. “tell me where Hintzen is, or I drop you.”

“I don’ know!” he screamed. Terror was finally sinking in. good. He should be scared. He should feel every ounce of fear that Sarah felt when he took her. “please!! Pu’ me down! please!”

“you don’t know?” 

“I don’ know where he ish!!” 

“I hope Photon finds you in hell.” My hand slipped.

Before he even hit the ground I was turning my back on him. the screams drifted up from the edge before they ended abruptly in a sickening crunch. The mutant hounds howled in delight. They’d eat good that night. 

Except Gracie. She stood dutifully beside Sarah, like she knew she was meant to protect the synth. As I passed I patted her affectionately on the head. “good dog.”

Well, that was fun wasn’t it? 

“Sarah? Are you with me?” gently I shook her. The ear was gone. He’d cut it clean off. That fucking bastard. 

Her big brown eyes fluttered blearily open. “Vel? Is that you…?”

“yeah Sarah, I’m here.” Finally my voice was going back to normal. I’m sure I’d have a break down remembering what I’d just done. But that was for later. For the time being Sarah was too important. “can you stand?”

“I … think so…?” shakily she rolled off the hood of the car. The moment her feet touched the ground she swayed dangerously. I caught her gently by the wrist. “sorry, sorry.” 

“don’t be, I’ve got you.” with my arms wrapped around her we started walking toward the exit. It would be a long walk home. At this hour that was dangerous. Less dangerous than staying this close to those Supermutants though. hopefully I could distract her from … everything. 

Gracie jogged beside us, leaping up for Sarah’s attention. she smiled at her. “hey Gracie… long time no see…. Erickson misses you.” 

“hear that Gracie? Maybe we should pay him a visit, once we have Nick back.” 

Sarah looked around, like she’d just noticed we were alone. “where’s Nick? What about Ellie? And Photon?! What happened to the others?!”

“Sarah calm down. I’ll explain when we get out of here.”

“don’t treat me like I’m fragile. What happened to Ellie and Photon? Why aren’t you with Nick?” the steel was returning to her voice. We were half way down the ramp. 

I stopped and dropped my face forward. The rim of the fedora shadowed my eyes. I was beginning to see why Nick did that so often. “Ellie is ok… a bit dinged up but she’ll live…. Photon got out of the fight alright but then he…. He came with me. He was determined to get you back. I tried to get him to stay behind but he wouldn’t have it. he was awesome.” 

Her body started to shake. My arms tightened around her while her legs gave out. “I’m so sorry…. It’s my fault.”

“no it’s not.” There was no way she could walk back down this fucking maze. So I scooped her up bridal style. With her head pressed into my shoulder I strode out of the maze. Photon was still there, dripping blood from the wall. At least she didn’t see that. “Photon died because of Sebastian, and Sebastian’s dead. that’s all that matters.” 

“but-”

“Sarah please, it isn’t your fault.” 

She fell silent after that. 

With the Supermutant’s occupied and the hounds feasting we managed to slip away from the parking garage with no problem. Once on the road, that was relatively smooth, I put Sarah down. I did what I could for her head, which wasn’t much. Then we continued to Goodneighbor. She was practically dragging her feet from exhaustion by the time we got back. the sun was just beginning to peak its head above the horizon. Had it really taken the whole night? How was my body still running?

We entered Goodneighbor and I steered her toward the statehouse. Inside it was quiet. Everyone was still asleep which was fine. Half carrying her, I brought her up the stairs to my old bedroom. Ellison wasn’t here. According to Hancock she usually slept down stairs in her workshop. The mattress still lay on the floor so I set Sarah gently down on it. “Gracie, look after her, I’ll be right back.” 

Dutifully the big hound settled down beside her, leaving me free to head back outside. At this hour the Rexford was as quiet as the statehouse. Clair Hutchins stood at her place as usual. I shouldn’t have been surprised. “hey Clair, I could use your help.”

She gave me a once over. “you look like shit, is that your blood?”

“no, my friend’s hurt, top floor of the statehouse. Will you help me?” 

With a heavy sigh she put down her clipboard. “Rufus! Hold down the desk for me.”

“sure thing Clair.” The old man came out from the back. 

She followed me across the street back into the Statehouse. I didn’t even make it all the way up the stairs before my name was screamed. “O'Malley!” 

I span. 

Then took a hand to the face. the slap cracked hard on my cheek. Twisted I stood there too stunned to speak.

“why didn’t you tell me what happened to Nick?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

Painfully I turned to face Ellie. Her eyes were red and puffy, fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. Her injuries were patched up, a bandage wrapped around her head. A mixture of fury and anguish filled her face. my heart clenched painfully in my chest. “Ellie, I don’t know what they said but he’s-”

Her arms around my neck cut me clean off. Shocked my arms hung loosely at my sides. I didn’t know what to do. She was crying, sobbing into my ear. “I’m sorry Vel! I’m sorry! Why didn’t you tell me? you shouldn’t be carrying this alone. You loved him.”

“Ellie stop.” my eyes stung. Desperately I pushed at her. “he’s not dead. we’re going to find him I swear.”

“Vel.” She moaned, her grip tightened a little more. “you can’t hold on to him like that…. he’s gone you have to accept that.”

“not you too!” suddenly furious I shoved her off me. she stumbled into the banister, staring at me with big wet eyes. my own eyes were flooding again and there was nothing I could do to stop it. with clenched fists I faced her. “He’s not dead!! alright?! There’s no way Hintzen had him killed! He’s out there! somewhere I just gotta figure out where!”

“Nick’s dead?”

The choked words turned me around. Standing on the stairs to the attic was Sarah. The bandage on her head was already soaked through with blood. my heart climbed up into my throat and swelled. “n-no he’s not. Sarah he’s not. Ok? I’m not giving up on him.”

“you shouldn’t be standing girl.” Clair strode forward just as Sarah lost her balance. She sunk to the floor, tears beginning to pour. 

“I knew something was wrong! I knew it.” she buried her face in her hands, ignoring Clair’s attempts to get at her injury.

Hands held out in front of me I sunk to my knees. “no, no it’s ok Sarah, I’m going to find him.” god I was beginning to sound insane. 

Because you are. 

From a pocket she produced a battered Holotape. “he sent for me…. he sent me this…. I knew it when I listened to it that something was wrong. Gray I’m so sorry.” 

“stop apologizing!” 

“what’s going on? Does anybody know what the hell time it is?” the groggy voice proceeded the off beat footsteps of Hancock. When he came up the stairs his black eyes landed on me first. 

“you!” surging to my feet I grabbed him by the collar. “stop telling everyone he’s dead!! or I swear to god I’m going to kill you myself!” 

“Gray stop!” Sarah was sobbing.

Ellie put her hands on my arm. “Vel calm down, put him down.”

Hancock stared back at me unflinchingly. He didn’t care. that damn face was so passive. I wanted to wipe it off. I wanted to wipe that empty expression off his face. “are you finally coming home?” 

Disgusted I dropped his collar and strode to Sarah. Kneeling I put a hand on her shoulder. “come on, lets get you settled, I’ll head out after-”

With a painful tug she pulled my arm toward her. Without a word she popped the Holotape into my Pipboy and hit play. I tried to stop it but came up short when his voice started to play. 

_“Hey Sarah, it’s Nick Valentine. Now I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now at Acadia but I have a favor to ask. There’s this case. I can’t give you details, not on this, but it’s dangerous. I need to talk to you in person. If things go wrong Gray is going to need you. you’re the only one I can trust with this. you know why. Ellie is my friend, you can trust her. Come back with her to the commonwealth. I’ll meet you at Diamond City. Thank you. safe travels.”_

The tape ended leaving me feeling cold and hollow. My eyes remained transfixed on the Pipboy. My vision started to swim again. Next to me Sarah tried to hold back her sobbing with a hand on her mouth. 

“that bastard.” I murmured around gritted teeth. “he knew what was going to happen and he did it anyway. and he left the rest of you to clean up the mess.”

“don’t be such an idiot.” Hancock grumbled around a large yawn. “he was trying to make sure you were looked after. Noble right up to the end.”

“he’s not dead.” but my resolve was starting to waver. Miserably I curled up around my knees. The Pipboy banged up against my head but I didn’t care. there was already enough pain, the hell was a little more? 

“I get it, you don’t want to hear the truth, but you’ve gotta face up to it eventually.” 

“Hancock don’t do this, please….” 

The floorboards creaked right in front of me. Cracking an eye I found Hancock kneeling down in front of me. there was no edge in his face like there almost always was. Was this him trying to be comforting? “kiddo, ya gotta let him go….” 

Not after all the shit I’d been through. Not after he and I had faced death and laughed dozens of time. What about what Jimmy had said? Didn’t that mean that it was a game? That Hintzen had done something? maybe not. Maybe I’d been desperate. Maybe I’d been lying to myself this whole time. 

Maybe Nick really was dead.

When that thought crashed through my mind it broke me. instead of fighting it I just let the tears cascade out of my eyes. with my face buried in my hands I screamed. A long pathetic thing. Bony arms wrapped around my shoulders. Hancock’s scent washed over me. I could count on one hand how many times he’d hugged me. god damn it, why did it have to be now of all times? 

Everyone was crying. Ellie over by the stairs, Sarah beside me. I was pretty sure I even felt Hancock’s tears splash on my shoulder. if Nick only knew how much of an impact he’d had on all of us. That selfish bastard, the hell gave him the right to get himself killed? And leave us in this mess? 

Footsteps came walking up the stairs. Fahrenheit’s voice cut through the sobbing fest. “look who I found wondering lost outside- the actual fuck is going on?”

Hancock straightened, discreetly wiping away the evidence of his own break down. I could only manage to watch them. It wasn’t my business. What the hell did I care about Goodneighbor shit anymore? “what’s up Fahr?”

She eyed him skeptically then waved her hand at the stairs. “Ellison was wandering around outside. She finally wandered home.”

“great.” He muttered sarcastically.

The ex-scribe came marching up the stairs, looking in stupid good spirits compared to the rest of us. She frowned the moment she caught sight of me sitting on the steps. “what’s wrong Vel? I thought you’d be happy.”

What the hell did I have to be happy about? Couldn’t make myself speak.

“where have you been?” Hancock demanded, more annoyed than angry. 

She eyed him with a slight frown. “Miss Magnolia and Mr. Scot sent me back from the Satellite Station Tasha.”

“why the hell were you out there? And with those two?” Fahrenheit asked the questions on my mind. 

“Miss Magnolia hypothesized that a Pipboy wouldn’t have a large enough range to pick up radio signals from outside the commonwealth, which is of course correct. So we went to the satellite array to achieve a much larger range, as well as pinpoint possible sources. They took the coordinates and left.” 

“what coordinates? To what?” Ellie questioned. 

Ellison cast around the room, like she was searching for someone to make some sense. Eventually her eyes fell on me and her brows went up. “why, to Mr. Valentine of course.”

“I fucking told you so!!” I shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you write a story you have a skewed sense of the pacing. This shows between this and last week's chapter more than most. I should have put more time between Scot and Photon.
> 
> looking back actually i'd probably shorten Gray's stuff by a chapter somehow and shift the timelines. this is the tough part about writing stories from two different perspectives when they're in entirely different places and you have to bring things together at a precise moment and in a precise way. I feel like this story is starting to get boring. I hope you're all still enjoying it. 
> 
> Once again, thank you for your time! have a good week! and until next time Write on!


	24. Love and Betrayal

The Supermutants were lumbering up the road. I could hear their damn hounds huffing and sniffing at the air. They couldn’t track me like they could humans, on account of me not having a scent to track. I guess there were some advantages to being a robot in this god damn hell hole. Still. They were headed my way. And there wasn’t anywhere to hide back the way I’d come. Just ahead I could make out the entrance to an underground parking garage. So that’s where I headed. 

I slipped inside just as the howls of the hounds went up. Had they spotted me? shit. The garage was full of abandoned burned up cars. Plenty of places to hide. I leapt into a Corvega near the back. hunkered down in the front seat I watched the Supermutants step into view. Those big green idiots sure were intimidating. 

A squeak of fright drew my attention across the garage. A shadow darted behind a stack of barrels against the far wall. No not a shadow. That was a head of black hair. Peering closer I could make out scared blue eyes and a dirty face. a woman. what the hell was she doing here?! The hell kind of luck was this?! 

“come out human, human, human.” A mutant called in after us in that dumb voice of his. 

The woman stared at me. silently I pressed a finger to my lips. If she made any sound they’d find her. I didn’t have a weapon, no way of defending me, or her. Not since that run in with some Minutemen a week back. I hadn’t had time to make a new gun since. There were tears on her face. Even at this distance I could see her trembling. Scared was good, maybe it would keep her quiet. Or it could make her easy to spook. 

Then a hound got in my way. Fear jolted through my chest, I dropped back behind cover. For a second it sniffed at the car I hid in. I didn’t dare breathe, or move. I’d seen what mutants did to their human victims. At least humans died pretty quick. If they did the same things to me I wouldn’t die until they crushed my head. At least I was pretty sure. Things had never escalated quite that bad. 

The sniffing went the length of the car before the hound lost interest. Then it picked up on something else and barked. “we’ve found you!” a mutant hollered triumphantly. 

I got up again. They were closing in on the woman. she was cowering. I couldn’t see her. The hounds could smell her though. only a matter of seconds. god damn it. what was I supposed to do? Run? 

I’d never live with myself if I ran like a coward. 

“hey!” I stood tall from the car, fists trembling at my sides. “pick on someone your own size!”

The mutants turned on me, their hounds all howled in unison. Probably could have dropped a couple one liners. I’m sure I had some dog puns I could throw in there for good measure. Except those howls chilled me to the proverbial bone. I tore out on the street and down the road. They rumbled after me. The mutant hounds were fast, once or twice they nearly had me. the mutants slid further behind. I turned down an alley. A chain link fence blocked my way. I leapt, climbing as fast as I could.

One of the hounds caught up to me. he got his mouth around my leg. Crying out, I only just managed to hang on to the fence while it tore and ripped at my leg. “get off me!” viciously I kicked it in the muzzle. With a yelp it dropped my leg. I clambered up over the fence. 

Stumbling on the other side I took off running. No real idea where I was going. The dogs’ howls drifted away. The silence of the ruins engulfed me. I ran for what must have been a good half hour before I finally stopped. I’d lost them. And here I’d thought mutants would hunt you to the end of earth for kicking one of their hounds. Straightening I glanced around the street. I’d been here before. I was close to that hole in the wall Goodneighbor. Couldn’t go there, they’d shoot me on sight. 

The corner book store sat in the wall to my right. it was as good a place as any to stash myself until I headed back out. The door gave a muted tinkle when I entered. Frozen in the doorway I waited for something to pop out at me. when nothing did I relaxed and closed the door. 

The store was in ruins, half from looters, half from age. Lots of books lay on the ground on broken shelves. I wondered how many of them were worth reading. At the back amid the dusty old books I sat. Gingerly I pulled my ruined pants leg up. Those mutant hounds sure had a lot of teeth. My skin looked like spaghetti. Stung like hell too. What was I supposed to do about this? I still hadn’t figured out how to repair my skin, and I was running out of skin to begin with. 

The broken bell above the door tinkled loudly. Resigned, I listened to the footsteps of the person. probably a scavenger, or a raider. Either way I didn’t have much hope of a warm welcome. Mentally I prepared myself to have to vacate. Better that then being shot. but then a familiar head of black hair peaked around the bookshelf. Curious and concerned blue eyes fell on me. a little fear in there for good measure. 

“glad to see you escaped, are you alright?” I asked quietly. It had been months since I’d talked to anyone. I wasn’t used to speaking and even to my own ears my voice sounded rough. Weird considering I didn’t have a throat that could get rough.

“better than you, here.” From a pack she produced a roll of duct tape and handed it to me. “will this help?”

“probably.” Maybe. Either way I took it and went to work taping the skin on my leg back together. One day I’d have to figure out how to fix that or I wouldn’t have skin for long at this rate. “how’d you find me?”

“followed the tracks.” She said somewhat dismissively. With a foot she cleared some rubble from the floor then sat beside me. “I needed to thank you. you didn’t have to do that.”

“don’t mention it.”

“you could have gotten killed.”

“I’m not particularly concerned about myself.” Finished, I handed the tape back to her. Her soft fingers brushed mine. She didn’t sport any scars like other wastelanders. There was a softness in her face that didn’t fit either. And that hair was too nice. Shrugging I dismissed those thoughts. Come on Nick, you’re not the detective remember, let it go. 

“you’re a synth right?” the woman spoke slowly, like she was worried about offending me.

“that’s what people keep calling me, before they start throwing stones.” I answered blandly. God I could use a cigarette. Groaning I forced myself to stand. There had to be a pack around here somewhere. “is that a problem?”

“you’re not like the other ones. So no. how long have you been out here?” 

“excluding a couple dings and lost days, fifty some odd years?” damn, had it really been that long?

She gaped. “how’d you end up out here? Like this….”

“with a personality? A mind of my own? No idea. Just woke up in a trash heap and that was it. guess the Institute, whoever the hell they are, got tired of me.” found the check out counter hidden under a mound of burned books. The cash register still had a little money in it. nothing worth taking. I went digging for the shelves under it. “don’t happen to have a light in that bag of yours would ya?” 

“who’d throw you out with the trash? Their loss.” She chuckled. 

“thanks doll, appreciate it.” finally found a half finished pack of cigs in a shelf on the counter. Eagerly I slid one out and popped it into my mouth. The woman offered me a light, smiling. “and thanks for the light… ah, didn’t catch your name….” 

“Magnolia.” That answer was a little quick. Almost rehearsed.

I took a long drag then let it out toward the ceiling. “like the flower?”

“nobody knows what flowers are called these days.” Magnolia slipped her hands into her pockets and smiled. “and you are?”

Pain split my metal skull in two. The memory faded away in a flash of white light, like a nuclear bomb. When the white was gone I was staring across a concrete room. computers whirred along the walls. Wires hung in bunches from hooks. When I tried to move I found my hands bound to the arms of the chair I sat in. something was attached to the back of my head, making it hard to move. 

“Nick!” 

Groggily I blinked until my eyes focused on the woman across from me. Mags was on her knees, hands tied behind her back. an Assaultron held her down with one of its clawed hands. There were tears. “Mags… are you alright, did they hurt you?” 

“I’m sorry Nick, I’m sorry.” She whispered hoarsely.

“I haven’t shown him that memory yet C2.” The smooth warm voice made my skin crawl. 

Wildly I looked around, expecting to see a man standing with us. There was just a Protectron hooked up to one of the computers. “Hintzen! Where are you?! come out you god damn coward!”

“In due time. I thought perhaps it would be best to bring us to an equal footing. Look at the woman across from you.” in spite of myself, I followed his orders. Mags was sobbing. I didn’t understand why. she knew she meant the world to me didn’t she? “now you remember how you met. A wonderful story wasn’t it? after that you traveled together. Neither one of you had a place of your own because you were both synths. You made few friends. You spent all your time together and then you fell in love. It was such a lovely tail.”

“shut up Hintzen.” I growled. 

That didn’t do any good. “the storage limitations of your mind are too great to give you everything so I thought I’d fill in the gap. I gave you back the memory of how you met. Now you I’ll give you the memory of how you parted.” 

“stop it!” Mags screamed.

Pain shot through my head one more time. My vision went white. 

When it came back again I was sitting at a campfire out in the middle of the frontier. Across from me sat a skinny man that I didn’t recognize. at the same time I did. This was another memory. I felt my body act along with it. just like using a memory lounger. “you saw her with another person?” I questioned before I really knew what I was saying.

“don’t think it was like that Nick.” The trader, that’s right he was a trader, sympathetically shrugged, leaning forward into the light of the campfire. “she looked scared. Not sure she knew the guy.” 

“where was this?” finally a lead. After days of hearing nothing I finally had something. it was slim, barely a thread to follow. That’s all I needed. I was coming Mags. I’d get you back I swear. She was missing. I knew that. she’d been missing for days. That’s what had driven me here. 

“out near the Corvega Assembly plant.” 

“thanks.” I made to rise but he grabbed my hand to hold me back. 

“are you sure about this Nick? They say the place is crawling with Institute types. What if they try to take you back?”

It wasn’t really me I was concerned with. Magnolia was an escaped synth. They might actually want her back. me, I was just trash. If the institute was involved then that was bad. What would they do to her? Reset her mind? make her forget everything? about the commonwealth, about our friends. About me?

So I left without another word to the trader. The plant wasn’t far, nestled in the middle of Lexington. Even without Nick’s old memories I could have found it pretty easy. When I got there, there wasn’t any sign of institute synths. The factory loomed high over my head when I finally reached it. after being chased through the town by a pack of ghouls.

Time for a plan Nick. What plan? Who the hell makes plans when they’re trying to rescue their best friend, and lover? Certainly not me. I was young and stupid back then.

With nothing but a pipe revolver to my name I burst through the doors. 

To find nothing.

The plant was totally empty. Quiet except for the distant whir of generators. If I had hair it would be standing on end right about then. My gun held tight in both hands I crept up the hallway. Voices murmured in the distance. I couldn’t make out what they were saying yet. Until one voice broke over the others.

“he’ll come! And when he does-”

“that’s what we’re hoping for.”

The fear in Magnolia’s voice was the only thing that I heard. Angry I raced up the stairs to the factory floor. I just caught a glimpse of her. Standing with folded arms, angry look on her face, beside a rough looking man. Before electricity arched through me. crying in pain I collapsed to my knees. My gun went skidding across the floor. 

“well, well, that didn’t take as long as I thought.” A voice laughed over my head. 

“Mags… run….” 

Someone crouched down in front of me. through failing eyes I saw a smirking face. “guess you make your original proud, huh detective? Well almost.” 

“bastard.” I punched him in the face. 

He wasn’t expecting that. reeling he tripped over his own feet and hit the ground hard. The guy with the damn shock baton tried to stab me with it again. I dodged, stepped in, and slammed my elbow into his jaw. Bone snapped under the force. He screamed collapsing. “Mags!” twisting I reached for her hand. “we gotta get out of here! Come on!” 

Defiantly she stayed right where she was. “don’t you get it?” 

“what?” my jaw fell open. 

“this is the only way I get out.” Her face contorted.

Something smashed hard into the back of my head. say what you wanted about me being a robot, apparently I could get concussed. When the stars stopped popping on my eyes I found myself on a knee. I span round to face the bat coming toward my face again. Then Mags stepped in the way.

“Mr. Hintzen wants him intact. You wouldn’t want to make him mad would you?” she murmured softly.

Hintzen?! A cold rock hit the pit of my stomach. “you backstabbing bitch!” I glared up at her. at that cold expression on her face. That’s something I’d never seen once in all the time I’d known her. “I trusted you and you betray me like this? To Hintzen?!” 

With folded arms she looked down her nose at me. there was no emotion there. like she’d shut it all off. 

“wow, ya sure laid it on him thick didn’t ya?” hands grabbed me around the shoulders, hauling me to my feet. “lets get him in the chair. Ya know what Hintzen wanted right?” 

“yes.” She murmured quietly.

They hauled me across the room to a chair waiting next to a terminal. Didn’t know what it was or what it was going to do. All I knew is that it would be bad. I tried to struggle, there wasn’t enough energy left in me to make a difference. They got me in the chair, strapped down. flashbacks plagued my mind, the few memories I had of my time in the institute. The panic started to set in. 

“why?!” I shouted at Magnolia as she walked up to the console. “why are you doing this?! what’s he offering you?!”

Her fingers froze over the top of the keyboard, staring stricken at the screen. For a brief second I could see the doubt, the guilt and the pain. She didn’t want to do this. not really. 

Leaning forward I tried to get her eye. “you don’t have to do this Mags. Whatever he has on you we can work it out. Please, just look at me. love.”

Jaw set she turned a steely, determined gaze on me. “it’s the only way I’ll be free of the Institute Nick, I’m sorry.”

A hand grabbed me around the jaw, wrenching my head back. someone strapped a helmet to my head. I glimpsed the face of that sadistic bastard smiling. “you don’t get it do ya? She’s been working for him this whole time. Did ya honestly think a woman like her would actually love a thing like you?”

“he won’t remember any of this, so there’s no point twisting the knife.” Magnolia murmured in a dead voice. 

“says you.” he laughed. 

My insides were going cold. After all this time, she’d just been a plant. An agent there to toy with me. the fight left me. they already had me tied down what more could I do? So I slouched forward, staring transfixed at the floor. “was any of it true? Are you really a synth from the institute or was that just to get under my skin?”

Her typing hesitated for a split second. With a few more strokes she finished off her code then took a step back. “I am a synth Nick. Hintzen promised to erase the Institute’s records of me if I did this for him. it’s the only way I’ll be free.” 

“freedom….” I scoffed. “you don’t see it do ya? you’re just trading one master for another.”

“that isn’t true.” Her voice wavered.

With a bitter smirk I glared up at her. “now right there, that’s the biggest lie you’ve told yourself.”

Her finger hovered over the enter button for a few seconds. our eyes met. All the history we had. All the time we’d spent together. All the love I still had for her. I could see it there in her blue eyes. she was desperate to hide it, to pretend it wasn’t real. I knew better. “Mags… I love you….”

Face twisted with agony, the tears started to leak from her eyes. conflicted tears. “I never loved you.” 

Then she hit the button.

And everything went white. One more time pain arched across my brain. When it was over my eyes were wide, staring down at Mags. Its not easy to describe how it feels to fall deeply in love with someone then get betrayed by them in the span of a few minutes. Now that I had those memories, nothing made sense. I was furious. I was hurt. I was still in love. What the hell was I supposed to do?

“Why so silent?” Hintzen chuckled over the intercom. 

“Nick I’m sorry.” Mags couldn’t look at me. she had her head bent forward, tears splashing on the floor. “I shouldn’t have done it but I was selfish and stupid. you were right. Hintzen used me to hurt you. I’m sorry.” 

“and yet you did it anyway.” he laughed, making my blood boil. Or whatever robot equivalent I had. “Cause and effect.”

“why?” I murmured almost too quiet to hear. 

“why did she betray you? Weren’t you listening-”

“why did you do this to us!?” shouting, I turned my head toward the ceiling. “why are you doing this to me?! you’ve been around since back then, what the hell did I do to you?!”

The speakers were silent for a few seconds. Finally, I’d struck a nerve. Anything to make him mad. Maybe there should have been some sense of self preservation in me. there was none of that. when the voice spoke again it was in a thin furious tone. “you took everything from me.” 

“I’ve never even met you!” my gaze dropped back to Mags. She was staring at me with those puffy tear filled eyes. I tried to make my face soft. It was hard. The betrayal still hurt. But I wasn’t the same person I was back then. I wasn’t as angry. “I don’t blame you Mags. He did this. you had your reasons, and I understand that. anyone would have done the same. I can’t forgive what you did, but I can move passed it.”

“thank you….” weakly she smiled back at me.

“as for you Hintzen!” I switched back to yelling at the ceiling. This yelling wasn’t getting me anywhere but damn if it didn’t feel good. “I’m sick of your god damn games! Torturing, humiliating, manipulating everyone around me just to get at me! is it some kind of experiment is that it? well I’m done! I’m done being part of it! just kill me already! That’s what you planned anyway!” 

“I’ve put far too much work into you to simply kill you prototype.” 

“stop calling me that. I have a name!”

“yes, Nick Valentine.” The amusement was back. nothing I could say or do would phase that bastard. It’s like I was just playing into his hands. Like he’d predicted I’d say all this and knew exactly how to twist my own words. “how does it make you feel to be walking around wearing a dad man’s voice and name?” 

“shut up.” 

He chuckled. a cold unfeeling thing that had never felt joy in its life. “you put on a good show, but in the end you’re nothing but a machine and you know it.” 

“you’re wrong!” it was Mags that screamed at the ceiling. furiously she tugged at the arm holding her down. the Assaultron tightened its grip, I heard bone crack beneath the claws and Mags screamed. Doubled over she whimpered at the ground. “you’re wrong. He’s the best of us. He’s more human than any other man I’ve ever met. He’s more human than you!”

“that part is true, although it says more about myself than it does him.” every laugh he uttered was just that much more sinister. “I’d rather hoped that by revealing the truth about C2-41 that you might turn on her.”

“sorry to disappoint you.” growling I tugged on the ropes keeping me tied down. 

“on the contrary, this may work in my favor. Take her to a cell.” 

The Assaultron hauled Mags to her feet. she yelped in pain when her shoulder was jolted. 

Before it dragged her out I met her eyes firmly. “I’ll get you out of this, you have my word.” 

Sadly she smiled. “don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

And then she was gone. The door slammed shut behind her with a resounding thud. The room was silent except for the occasional clunk of the Protectron. I settled back in the chair. “is that defeat I see prototype?”

That got me to smirk. “I know when to fight and when to accept defeat. You’ve made me live through the death of the person I love the most. There’s nothing you can do to me that’s worse than that.”

“should I take that as a challenge prototype?” 

“let me ask you something Hintzen.” A weird sense of calm had settled over me. it was weird the places your mind went to when you knew you were beat. There was nothing I could do. Escape wasn’t an option, so why not get a little talking done? “if we’ve been fighting for sixty years, then you’ve been alive for a hell of a lot longer than any human should be. Are you a synth too?”

“I am more advanced than any synth you’ve ever met prototype. Calling me a synth is like calling a teleporter a toaster.” 

“so then you are.” Bitterly I chuckled. my eyes slid shut. “for all your talk of superiority, you’re built just like me.”

“you know nothing of me.”

“let me take a crack at it. you were some big shot, maybe a CEO at a company or something. you got scanned, just the same as Nick Valentine. You were with us, me and DiMA, when the Institute built us. They made two, why not three? And when we escaped that left you alone and powerless. What’d those egg heads do to ya huh? I bet it was worse than anything they put us through. When’d you escape? When they lost interest in you and moved on to gen three models? Were you thrown out with the garbage?”

“an entertaining story prototype. You’ve developed quite the imagination haven’t you?” he almost sounded intrigued by it. made me sick. Everything about him made me sick. “unfortunately you’re wrong on all accounts. Now get comfortable. The simulation you are about to enter has been programmed with machine learning in mind. I want to see how many times you will lose before you give up entirely.” 

“and what makes you think I’ll play your damn game?” 

“because, I think you’ll find things motivating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized while editing that i named Mags C2 haha, anybody watch Code Geass? Good anime if you haven't check it out. 
> 
> Sorry for dragging you all through this misery, there's a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. i actually went back and dialed it back from the original draft cause i dont want to make too many people mad (somebody remember this statement for a later chapter). 
> 
> anyhow, can't stay long, gotta study, so until next week, Write on!


	25. That Part Where We Try to be Heroes

“that’s an evil lair if I’ve ever seen one.”

I shot Hancock a skeptical look. “and when have you ever seen an evil lair?” 

“every time I see McDonough’s office.” 

“touché.” 

This was it. we’d tracked Nick’s signal all morning. We’d stopped once on the way here to let me sleep for an hour and for a bite to eat. None of us wanted to take too long. There were only four of us. Hancock, Fahrenheit, Ellison and me. I’d have preferred it if I’d gone alone. It had taken a lot of convincing to dwindle it down to this many people. Ellie and Sarah had both wanted to go but they were in too bad shape. And besides I couldn’t put either of them in any more danger. 

Ellison had to come. If Nick was hurt, she was his best chance of getting moving again. Plus if I’d lost the signal I’d need her help to pick it back up again. Then there was Hancock. Of Hancock and Fahrenheit I’d have preferred just to take Fahrenheit. Her cool headedness, and her sheer intimidation factor made her invaluable. But of course, Hancock wasn’t about to be left behind. No matter how much I argued that one of them had to stay behind they wouldn’t have it. Hancock insisted on going. And if he was going Fahrenheit was going too. We’d left Kleo in charge of Goodneighbor.

So the four of us marched across the wasteland into territory unknown. The signal led us north west. Once we got to the ruins we abandoned the coordinates that Ellison had found and followed the beeping on my Pipboy. The signs called this place Fort Devens. There were still military vehicles left abandoned on the roads. Other than that it looked like your average town. with shops, apartments, public buildings. 

We stood at the top of one of those buildings, looking out over the ruins to get a feel for what we were getting into. Out in the distance we could see a settlement with walls and sturdy buildings. We’d thought Nick was there until the signal led us to this place. As Hancock colorfully put it, the evil lair. 

There wasn’t any better way to describe it honestly. There were turrets, killer robots and spotlights all around it. which made getting a good line of approach impossible. We were in front of the building, with its big white pillars out front and broken windows. That wasn’t too heavily guarded. At least on the outside. 

Ellison was toying around with my Pipboy on the roof, trying to get a better read on Nick’s beacon. 

“any luck?”

“the signal is wavering, I believe that means he’s underground somewhere.” She announced with a crease of frustration between her brows.

“so we’re looking for a basement?” Hancock questioned in that flat tone he usually took with her. Even when she was making perfect sense he acted like she was bat shit crazy. 

“most likely.” 

“place like this, it’s as likely to have multiple basements as anything.” I grumbled, hunkering down to peer at the ground far below us. A Protectron with a glowing red face trundled on by. Blissfully unaware of our presence. How long would that last? 

The door behind us opened and Fahrenheit appeared. To my disappointment she hadn’t brought her usual Minigun, instead opting for a laser rifle. She was dangers regardless. She’d be dangerous with one hand tied behind her back. “I scouted the parameter. Looks like there’s an entrance in the back of the building that’s been boarded up. With a couple of well placed charges we could slip in before the robots are on us.”

“they’ll be on us in seconds.” I shook my head. “we’re here on a rescue mission not a suicide one. we need a better plan.”

“does that look any more promising to you?” Hancock waved his hand irritably toward the front entrance we stood over. 

It did, which was what made it so dangerous. If Hintzen was anything it wasn’t stupid. he’d make an entrance look easily accessible, then trap the hell out of it on the other side. The front was the obvious way in, but the back was the dangerous way in. which would he trap more? 

“what about going in through a window?” Hancock offered. 

But Fahrenheit shook her head. “all the windows on this floor are barred. And unless you can climb up sheer brick walls with some kind of mutant super power, you’ll never be able to reach the second floor before a robot spots you.” 

“what about the roof? Could we go in through the roof?” Ellison finally handed back my Pipboy. 

Slotting it over my gloved hand I shook my head. “I can see from here that most of the top floor is caved in. and there aren’t any buildings close enough to jump across. It’s the ground level or bust. Unless someone thinks we have a chance of getting in through the basement.”

They all shook their heads. Fahrenheit and Hancock glared down at the front entrance like it had offended them. I understood the feeling. All that work, all that walking and now a blasted door stood in our way. Nick was only a few hundred feet away. After desperately searching for him, after killing Jimmy, I’d be damned if I let anything else stand in my way.

Even yourself?

“alright! Listen up! This is the plan!” It wasn’t a good plan, in fact it sucked pretty bad. But we didn’t have a lot of choice in it. “Fahrenheit, Hancock, you take the explosives and draw the heat to you at the front of the building. I don’t care how, just do it. hold them off for as long as you can then get the hell out of there. me and Ellison will go through the back and find Nick.” 

“why are you taking brotherhood with you?” Hancock sounded pretty angry at that. not that I was going to give him the right. “do you honestly trust her to find and save Nick and not shoot you both in the back?”

“I do, in fact. And besides, if Nick needs help she’s the one to give it.” 

Ellison was far too busy admiring the robots patrolling below us to even notice she was being insulted. 

Hancock let out an airy growl. “I don’t like it kiddo. I don’t like splitting up.”

“do you have a better plan, because I don’t like splitting up either.” Splitting up was the worst idea. If my time in the wasteland taught me anything it was that there was strength in numbers. Didn’t used to think that. always used to think that if you weren’t strong enough to go it alone, then you were useless. Nick had taught me otherwise. 

His fists shook at his side. Until Fahrenheit put a hand on his shoulder. “you two go get into position. When we start the distraction you’ll know. Don’t waste any time. Find Nick and get the hell out of there alright?” 

“alright.” It didn’t even occur to me then that Hintzen was inside that building. That we were as close to him as we were to Nick. It didn’t matter to me. getting Nick back was the only thing that did. 

So dragging Ellison by the arm, I trekked back down to the streets below. The bright morning sun didn’t give us much cover to navigate by. Storming an evil lair probably wasn’t a good idea during the day. Waiting around wasn’t an option. So far we still had the element of surprise, which wouldn’t last long. We set ourselves at the back of the building where the boarded up door stood. Looked like a fire exit. Slabs of wood nailed across it. we had one mine with us. That should be enough to blow open the door. 

“Ellison, do you think you can find the way once we’re down there?” I whispered while we waited for the distraction. With Fahrenheit in charge of that, I had no doubt we wouldn’t miss it. 

The blond scribe shrugged. “I don’t know. The signal will get us close but once down there it may be impossible to find him without some idea of the layout.”

“this whole damn plan hinges on us finding him now! and you’re telling me that might not be possible?!” 

Before I could start yelling some more an explosion went off at the front of the building. An Assaultron with a glowing face came careening around the corner. It jogged toward the front, followed by a Protectron. We waited for as long as we dared then jumped into action. I activated the mine and attached it to the wall. When I was safely away Ellison shot it. The wall shuddered from the resulting explosion.

When the smoke cleared the door was hanging loose on its hinges. We barely looked at each other before jumping through it. we came out into a stairwell, with sets leading up and down. down it was. The stairs turned to concrete. The welcoming red rick became cold white washed walls. Wires and pipes hung from the walls and ceiling. this was my definition of an evil lair. 

The hall ended abruptly in a security gate at the far end. That looked new. In fact it looked more like an underground vault door than anything. A terminal beside it glowed. “Ellison, you’re up.” 

“this won’t take long.” With her gun stowed she ran up to the terminal. 

I put my back to the door, gun tight in my hands. I couldn’t hear any more fighting up stairs. That could mean any number of things. I tried not to imagine Hancock and Fahrenheit broken and bloody on the ground. Instead I focused on the stairs in front of me. no cover, no where to hide, we were in a literal kill box. Anything came down those stairs we’d be toast. 

Then something came down those stairs.

I didn’t even hear it, on account of the damn Handy having a fucking jetpack. “you’ll die commie scum!” scratch that, it was a Gutsy, not a Handy.

It flew toward us. In quick succession I shot out two of its eyes which at least gave it pause. While it reeled I dashed forward. Gutsys had a tougher shell than Handys. My gun could punch through a Handy, the same couldn’t be said of a Gutsy. So I had to hit it where it mattered. Which was up its ass, ironically. I jammed my gun up against the thruster underneath it. with one shot it exploded. Mobility lost, it plummeted to the ground. His buzz saw hand flailed wildly, cutting across my arm. 

Gritting my teeth through the pain I kicked it toward the entrance. With luck it would take out a few of its fellows before it died. At least it didn’t have any range. Backing up once more time I glanced at Ellison. “how’s it coming?”

“I need a little more time, keep it up.” 

“how long could it possibly take to open a door?” 

“there are little machines whose entire purpose is to open doors.”

“oh yeah? What do they call them?”

I didn’t hear her response as my attention snapped back to the stairs. A Protectron came marching down them. It didn’t notice the Gutsy still flailing around on the ground though. that buzz saw cut open one of the Protectron’s legs. It staggered and fell face flat over the top of the gutsy. There was a lot of clanking and crashing now at this point. If they didn’t know where we were they sure as hell knew now. 

For good measure I put a couple bullets in the Protectron’s face. it exploded leaving it blind and continuing to flail. There were more footsteps over our heads. A lot of them. Whether they were finished with Hancock or he’d retreated I didn’t know. Things were getting worse. “Scribe, for the love of god, get that door open!” 

“almost there, this firewall is impressive. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this before. it isn’t brotherhood, or wasteland it’s something more-”

“you can admire it on the other side of the damn thing!” 

An Assaultron appeared down the steps. It was smarter than its predecessors. It saw the car crash at the bottom of the stairs and came to a stop. It didn’t need to get close. The red eye started to glow menacingly. We had maybe one minute if that before it made use into mounds of red flesh. 

“Ellison!”

“close!” 

Pelting the Assaultron with bullets didn’t do any good. Its armor casing absorbed my slugs like they were made of tissue. It didn’t even hesitate as it craned its neck back to fire. Not like this. 

“got it!” the door slid open. I grabbed Ellison around the waist, hauling her through mere seconds before the laser charged at us. It zoomed through the open doorway, singing the far wall with a pretty black mark. Then the door slid shut cutting it off. We were plunged into total darkness for a second. I was just happy it wasn’t the darkness of death. 

“good job….” I panted while my heart kept trying to escape out of my chest. “any longer and we’d be fried.”

Beside me Ellison wasn’t even shaking. Either she had nerves of steel, or she didn’t get how close that was. Well considering she was brotherhood of steel either of those could be an option. “where to next? We’re in the belly of the beast now.” 

“please don’t put it that way.” Not that there was any better way of putting it. in the dark I felt around for the switches on my Pipboy. Green light flooded the corridor and I had to take a moment to reign in my shock. 

It almost looked like the institute. Maybe not the institute that I’d seen when we stormed their labs, but an earlier design. The walls were all made of solid concrete which was original but every bit of wiring and electronics was unmistakably the institute’s style. Even the door was theirs, now that I looked at it more carefully. My heart clawed up into my throat. what the hell was going on? 

“Vel?” Ellison’s face was mere inches from mine in the dark. 

“sorry.” Shaking my head I turned back to the hall. “It’s gonna take us forever to search this place. I see cameras though. maybe there’s a security booth.” 

“I can see where the wires go, keep that light up.” She tore off ahead of me into the corridor. 

With my arm held out I followed her. The green light of the Pipboy didn’t go far. Maybe ten feet. beyond that the corridor was black. Anything coming at us would get the drop on us. My gun hand remained steady. There was no point losing my nerve so soon. Nick was here, we’d get him back then leave. I didn’t even care about Hintzen anymore. 

Ellison careened along the halls. How she kept track of the wires running over our heads I didn’t know. There weren’t any turrets or security bots down here. Maybe Hintzen had thought his inner sanctum was impenetrable. Jokes on him. eventually she came to a stop at a door with yet another terminal. “this is it, give me a second, keep a look out please.”

“just get it open.” My patience was running thin and the ache in my wrist was getting worse. I stood still, straining my ears for the slightest sound. There was nothing in the dark confusing corridors. My nerves were starting to fray. Why wasn’t there any resistance here? It didn’t make any sense.

the door slid open in no time. We slipped inside. The room was the size of a closet with a wall full of monitors all wired into the system. There were a couple of terminals attached to it. “why are the monitors black?” I questioned quietly panicked. 

“because the lights are out, I’ll get them up in a second.” 

“how’re you going to do that?”

“if there’s any connection in the system to the larger main frame I can find it. and exploit it. I’ll have control over everything from here.” 

Wasn’t sure that’s actually how it worked but hell, what did I know? I had to trust her. It didn’t take her long to gain control of the system. The lights went up and all the screens started displaying different views of the place. The more I saw of it the more like the Institute it started to seem. The halls were all empty. Rooms, upon rooms of labs. A lot of them robotics or weapons development by the look of it. one or two with chairs that reminded me all too much of DiMA’s back at Acadia. 

The screens flickered between feeds slowly. For several minutes we got a view of the upper floors, and the front. There were robot parts littered across the entrance. Well Hancock and Fahrenheit certainly didn’t waste time. There was blood there though too. The screen switched before I could get a better look. Even that glimpse left me feeling cold. 

“this system is huge. I see controls for a couple dozen robots, turrets, spotlights. How did we make it in here?” Ellison’s fingers were a blur on the keyboard. Even if I practiced for ten years I’d never be that fast. “Hintzen must have a supercomputer somewhere in here too, I’m seeing all kinds of programs running too.”

“I don’t care, where’s Nick?” with a hand on the back of her chair I leaned forward. The screens kept changing but not one of them was showing me what I wanted. 

“there’s a lot of processing power being piped to this room, let me bring it up.” With a couple commands one of the screens flashed and changed. There was Nick. My heart flooded with relief while my stomach dropped out. He was strapped to a chair, a thick cable sticking out the back of his head. 

“what the hell are they doing to him?!”

“I don’t know. I’ll work on cutting it off from here. You go get him. turn left down the hall, first right, second left and third door on your left.” 

“left, first right, second left, third left door, got it.” and I did in fact have it. amazing what you can make your brain remember when everything was on the line. 

With the lights on I turned the light on Pipboy off. Still no resistance as I ran but it wasn’t for lack of resistance. There were turrets on the ceiling at regular intervals except they were powered down. there had to be more back the way we’d come. Why weren’t they shooting? Hintzen had to have done it so why? this was getting worse by the second. 

I found the door after blurring through the halls at break neck speed. For a second it stayed closed. I was about to start banging on it when it opened. “hurry Vel!” Ellison’s’ voice issued from inside with the static of an intercom. “I’m seeing Protectrons headed this way.”

“get out of there!” I called as I stepped through the door. 

“when I’ve shut down the program keeping him under.” 

A Protectron turned to face me from a bank of computers in the far corner. “protect and serve.” It said in an electric voice while it turned sparking hands at me. 

I shot both arms off before it could pull any tricks. It fell up against the computers. Electricity sparked across its metal shell and its face exploded. Even before it had stopped twitching I was putting my gun away and rushing to Nick’s side. 

His face looked peaceful, like he was just in sleep mode or something. there were a few new scratches, he wasn’t wearing his normal button up and slacks. He looked weird without his hat. “Nick? Ya with me?” my voice shook so bad I wasn’t sure I was making real words. 

“I’ve almost got it….” Ellison murmured somewhere over my head. 

The computers shut down. Nick started to stir. Quickly I reached around the back of his neck and unplugged that damn cable. He jerked and gave a yelp. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Nick? Are you with me? please look at me.” 

Blearily he blinked. His glowing eyes flickered from bright to dim to back again. “G-Gray?” 

“hey.” The tears were on my eyes. I finally had him back and the flood of emotion was about to kill me. gently I lifted his head so that our eyes met. His were getting stronger by the second. “it’s me. where’ve you been, I’ve been worried sick.”

“I watched you die….” He murmured breathlessly. 

Swallowing hard I shook my head. “I’m not dead, look, I’m right here. I’m here to take you home.” 

He broke eye contact, looking around the place in confusion. “this place…. They were simulations that’s what he said but they felt so real….” 

God what had Hintzen done to him? teeth bared I forced him to sit up with a tug on the arm. “I’m not dead Nick, look at me. I’m right here. I’m getting you out of here.”

“you… Ellie… John everyone. I watched you all die. How do I know this isn’t another one?” angrily he tugged his arm free of my grasp. Fierce fiery eyes pierced me worse than any bullet could. 

“this isn’t fake.” Couldn’t blame him for thinking otherwise though. if Hintzen was playing with his mind with simulations then he’d be more than out of it. “how can I convince you this is real?” 

With his head in his hands he leaned forward. “I don’t know… I don’t know….”

“Vel!” Ellison cried over the speakers.

“what’s wrong?!... Scribe talk to me!” shit, of course it was going wrong. “I told you to get out of there!”

“someone’s at the door. I’ve sealed it but they’re cutting through with a laser. I only have two minutes before they come through.” For the first time I could hear fear in her voice. She had never once been afraid. Either too oblivious or too brave to be. “Vel… I don’t think I’m getting out of here.”

“hold on! We’ll be there soon!” I tore Nick’s hat from my head and tossed it at him. he caught it easily. Well at least he could still function proper. “Nick, I know that you’re scared, and hurting but right now we’ve got friends that need our help. I promise I’m not going to die on you. I’m here to stay.” 

“I saw your body… I held you….” His voice shook heavy. It was all I could do to keep the tears back. he didn’t need to see me break down, it was my turn to be strong for him like he had been for me. “you were cold.”

“hold me now.” gently I forced him to put his hands on my arms. The cold metal of his skeleton was wonderful against my hand. “feel that? warm, breathing, there’s a pulse. This is real, I’m alive and I’m not leaving you.” 

His jaw flexed tight while his gaze refused to meet mine. He stared transfixed at the hand wrapped around mine. What was he thinking? I couldn’t blame him for this. if I’d let the others convince me he was dead this wouldn’t be easy for me either. I’d love to give him time to figure it out, but I wasn’t sure Ellison had that time. 

Eventually his gaze slid up to mine. “this is real?”

“yes.” I took the hat from his hands and put it on his head. Took a moment to cock it just the way he always did. There, that was better. “I’m real. I’m here to get you out of here.” 

With one hand he grasped my cheek, face softening. “ya know what, to hell with it. if this is another simulation at least I’ll make the most of it.” 

“that’s the attitude. Come on.” 

Without any help from me he got to his feet. I expected him to wobble but he wasn’t even shaking. The fight was back in him. 

Which fled the moment a cold unfeeling voice spoke over the com. “isn’t that sweet? Two machines that think they’re in love. Tell me V3-27, do you still call yourself Vel O'Malley?” 

“Hintzen!” Nick roared at the ceiling. my gun jumped to my hand. so this was what that monster sounded like. “come out here! Face us!” 

“I don’t think so, not yet. I’m surprised to find a Brotherhood Scribe with you. she’s a strange one isn’t she?” the smooth voice could have been comforting if it weren’t made electronic by the speakers. 

“if you touch her!” I snarled. 

“loyalty to humans. Now that’s unexpected. I understood the connection you had for each other, but to think you’ve projected on the humans around you. fascinating.” He said it like a scientist. Like those god damn freaks at the Institute. He was no better. “I knew you would come for him eventually. But that you brought others with you is interesting.” 

“who else is here?” Nick asked a little surprised. 

I frowned at him. “Hancock and Fahrenheit came with me. they should be out of it by now though-”

“not to disappoint you V3, but the ghoul and the wastelander are both in custody.” Hintzen chuckled low making my blood boil. “they put up quite a fight, however my robots were more than a match for them. Don’t worry they’re both alive. For the most part.” 

“you bastard.” My fists were starting to shake at my sides. 

Why are you still standing around? Don’t you have friends to save?

“I have no intention of harming them. My interest isn’t in the riffraff of the wasteland. My only interest is in you two.” 

The door slid open. There stood three Protectrons, a medical model and two construction types. Nick and I backed up, with only one gun between us. I had it pointed at one of the construction ones. They were liable to have damn nail guns in their hands. 

“you’ve been fascinating test subjects. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I let you become partners after the institute replaced Vel O'Malley. I never in any of my theories suspected that you would grow to develop affection for each other. Is that something the Institute programmed into you? I’ll find out soon enough. My experiments with the prototype haven’t finished yet. There’s still one more to go. You’ll be a valuable element of that, as will C2-41.”

“who?” The robots marched in, all in unison. We backed up. Nick gripped my arm while I pointed my gun at the robots. 

“Magnolia, she arrived ahead of you. he has her.” Nick whispered to me. 

Magnolia? Holly hell. “what about Scot? Is he here too?”

Nick didn’t answer that one.

Our backs hit the wall. The Protectrons put up their hands. 

“are you going to cooperate with me V3 or am I going to have to use force?” 

“my name is Gray! You son of a bitch!”

“so be it.” at his command the robots moved in. I shot the nearest one in the face which did literally nothing to stop it. its three fingered hands clasped tight around my wrists. 

Nick punched the Protectron with enough force to shatter its face plate. I jammed the gun into it and fired directly into the brain. That got it to shut down but its damn hand was still tight on my wrist. When it went down, I went down, with a yelp. Nick went to work trying to pry the hand off. Over his shoulder I saw a set of electrified hands. 

“Nick look out!”

He dodged the hands, his face had twisted up into an livid scowl. “I don’t need any more electro shock therapy wise guy!” he slammed his hand through the face plate, gripped the sensor unit inside the dome, and tugged it out with a wrench. 

The last Protectron swung its entire body to slam his forearm into Nick’s chest. Nick went flying across the room and crashed in behind the chair. I lost sight of him. desperately I tugged on my hand. The stupid dead robot.

“I didn’t expect you two to be so formidable, I’ll put those in my notes but this struggle must come to an end.” As Hintzen talked I could feel a sinking feeling beginning at the pit of my stomach. 

“don’t you dare!” Nick yelled from where I couldn’t see him.

Hintzen chuckled. “V3-27 epsilon 78 cirrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!! I had two massive tests these last two days! i've been stressed out of my mind for a week and a half! and i'm just so freaking happy to be sliding into the weekend without any stress! 
> 
> What if i just ended things here? like the next chapter is from Hintzen's pov and it's all about him gloating over killing everybody? That'd be terrible and wild.
> 
> Anyway, hope you're all enjoying life! Suppose some of you might be back to school this week or next. Good luck out there! Have a good weekend all, and until next week write on!


	26. Rock and a Hard Place

I came to. Didn’t remember how I’d got knocked out exactly. The battle had turned against us the moment Hintzen used the god damn code. With Gray out, I couldn’t protect both of us, and he just kept sending robots. She got swept up by an Assaultron and I hadn’t been able to do a damn thing. Took a fist to the face which had rattled the old memory unit enough to turn everything else into a blur. 

When I’d finished a diagnostic I had little hope of finding Gray with me. and wouldn’t you know it, I was right. at least this time I wasn’t strapped down to a chair. Instead I was lying flat on my face against concrete floor. With a groan I forced myself to all fours, waiting for the feeling to return to my extremities. A quick glance around showed me the room was empty, except for me and my hat. There were two doors and a glass window set into a wall with one of them. It reminded me of interrogation rooms from Nick’s memories. 

My hat lay a foot from my head. Gray had brought it all the way across the wasteland to me. and she accused me of having too much sentimentality. Grabbing it I got fully to my feet. definitely some kind of interrogation room. why would he need something like this when he’d already gone poking around in my head? Was this his last experiment? He’d said Gray would be involved, but how?

“ah you’re awake, finally. For a moment I thought I would have to do repairs in order to get you moving again.” Hintzen’s well mannered tone issued over my head from speakers in the walls.

I found the damn camera, mounted on the wall with the glass, up in a corner. Fists clenched I turned to face it. “alright Hintzen, what’s this last experiment about? Where’s Gray?”

“step up to the glass and you’ll see.” 

Had half a mind to refuse and just let him explain what I was supposed to be looking at. Something in my gut though knew I needed to see it. so I stepped up to the glass. The lights came up on the other side. The moment they did I slammed my fist on the wall. “Hintzen! What the hell is this?!” 

“must I explain everything to you?” Hintzen sighed melodramatically. 

He didn’t need to. On the other side were two rickety chairs facing each other. On the left sat Gray, in the right Mags. They were both unconscious. Both tied to their chairs. Both with horrifyingly familiar helmets strapped to their heads. The helmets had cables running into a set of computers against the wall beside them. 

Even while that bastard talked my mind had already figured it out. “you have a choice here prototype. There is the woman you love, and the woman you once loved. When you’ve made your decision I will open that door. There is no use in trying to get into that room before I have allowed it. and should you attempt to I will do it to both of them.”

“you’ll erase both of them.” I murmured with my hands flat on the glass.

“perhaps you are not as slow as I thought. Indeed. The decision you have to make here is, which one of these synths will remain intact, and which one will be little better than a brain dead vegetable.” There was so much amusement in his voice I wanted to throw up. 

“you’re enjoying this aren’t you?” buy time, that’s all I could do until I came up with a plan. There had to be something. Maybe Gray would wake up and she’d slip free. If she did maybe I could distract Hintzen. “this isn’t just an experiment to you, this is personal.” 

“these synths are the only ones left that had anything to do with James’ death. So I suppose there is something personal here.” He admitted. “I’m extending a courtesy to you. if I had my way, I’d simply erase them both. But I’m giving you the opportunity to save one of them. Isn’t that what you do? Save people?” 

At the cost of another? That wasn’t how I worked. Was it really a problem though? “you think I’m an idiot? You can’t erase someone, you can only put their memories on hold. Even if you did lock up their minds, I’d reverse it as soon as we got back to Goodneighbor.” 

“assuming you did escape with them, and assuming you did return to Goodneighbor to good Doctor Amari she would immediately find that they are in fact brain dead. you understand what that means of course. No saving them. They would essentially be vegetables. And there would be no way to reverse it.”

“not possible.” my fists clenched up on the glass. Could I punch through it? even if I dared to I doubt I could. “Amari can’t do it, DiMA couldn’t do it, so what the hell makes you think you can?!”

“because, unlike the rest of them, I have insights into how synth minds work. An electric charge from the component and I can completely wipe out V3-27’s memories. If I increase the voltage I can completely destroy their brain, essentially killing them. Even at low charge they’d be in agony with severe memory loss.” 

“don’t, please.” My voice came out strangled. 

Hintzen chuckled. “don’t worry, I don’t have any intention of putting them through any more pain. As for C2-41, I’m already intimately familiar with her brain structure. I’ve had the ability to erase her for some time now. so it is up to you. which of the two synths are you going to kill and which are you going to keep?”

“you’re not going to get away with this.” 

“you’ve said those very same words to me hundreds of times. Now make your choice. Although we all know you’ve already made it.” 

He was right. it wasn’t that I hated Mags, I did love her still. As confusing as those feelings were. But Gray…. She was it. how could I not save her? I’d already failed too many times. I wasn’t going to lose her again. So, I opened my mouth to make my choice.

Then Gray groaned on the other side of the glass. 

In no time she was sitting up, looking around. Desperate I banged on the glass. “Gray! Gray I’m here!” 

Her head switched to me. “Nick?”

“yes!”

“they can’t hear you.” came Hintzen’s mildly entertained voice, pissed me off that much more. “bang on the glass all you want, but unless they know Morse code you are, as they say, out of luck.”

“fuck off….”

“Nick?!” She called a little louder. That’s when she noticed she was tied down. angrily she tugged at the ropes on her wrists and legs. He’d tied her down tight. There’d be no hope of getting out those binds. She didn’t even have her Pipboy. No gun either. “Nick?! Are you there?! Bang twice if you are!” 

I did, as hard as I could.

Her shoulders relaxed. “well… what the hell ya doin on that side of the glass? Ya gonna let that stand in your way?” 

Shaking my head I laughed. “Gray you damn idiot.” 

“Gray?” Mags was finally stirring, blinking groggily around the room. 

Gray leaned forward as much as her binds would allow. “good morning to you, we’re a little short on room service at the moment.” 

Smirking Mags focused in on her. “why are you in such a good mood? Last I saw you, you were losing it….” 

“well, the fact that Nick is alive, that I’m alive, and that we’re finally back together, honestly, this feels normal again.” 

“you’re not wrong.” I laughed with my forehead pressed against the glass. “just an ordinary day at the office now.” 

“I should be thanking you.” Gray murmured at the floor. “you kept a clear head and found Nick before I did. If you hadn’t recruited Ellison and if she hadn’t made it back to Goodneighbor when she did, I’d have given up hope….” 

“I hoped me and Scot could get him back for you… I’m sorry that didn’t work out.” With her shoulders slouched Mags leaned up against her chair. “I’m sorry for everything Gray.” 

“how long ago were you and Nick together?”

She knew? How the hell did she know? 

Mags looked reluctant to answer. This would have been the part I’d be forced to explain if I was in there. “it was fifty some odd years ago when we met. I was a plant by Hintzen. He’d convinced me that the only way I could escape the Institute was to do what he said.”

“which was to toy with Nick.” 

“which was to toy with Nick.” She nodded dejectedly. “it was just a job at first but…. Well you know the effect that Nick has. He gets under your skin. Makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the world, that being better than who you are isn’t as hard as you think.”

“he definitely does that.” Gray shot me a smirk through the glass. “and he doesn’t give up on ya, even if you’ve given up on yourself. And when it feels like the rest of the world is turning its back on you he’ll be there.”

“can’t blame me for falling in love with him. but you can blame me for making him fall for me.” she drooped, dropping her eyes. “what I did to him, was beyond cruel. I’ve lived every day with that guilt. I thought when he came back into my life it was a chance to win him back. but when you two got together, and I saw the change in him. he’d never acted that way with me. I’m happy for you two.” 

My face fell. This wasn’t the kind of conversation I should be overhearing. Why was Gray doing this?

“you still love him?” she asked after a few seconds of silence.

Mags nodded.

With a breath, Gray let her head fall forward on her chest. “lets move on. I’ve been meaning to ask. Why do you call me Gray too? I get Nick doing it but you?”

“don’t you prefer it?” Mags tilted her head a little, frowning. “I mean… doesn’t the name Vel bring back too many memories?” 

“I guess it does.” She grimaced.

“I figured it’d make it easier on Nick too. When I talked to him about the switch I told him to think about you as Gray and to let Vel be his friend. I’m not sure how much that helped.”

“come to think of it, he’s entirely dropped using Vel in the first place.” She nodded. 

“this is all heart warming, but my patience is growing thin.” Hintzen’s voice spoke once more and judging by Gray and Mags’ reactions they heard him too. they both glared up at the speakers over their heads. “prototype make your choice. Which of these synths am I erasing?” 

“What?!” Gray swung her face on me through the glass. Her intense gray eyes were storming and angry. “what’s he talking about?”

“Nick?” Mags turned on the glass too. now they were both looking straight at me, even if they didn’t know it. “are you there? if he’s threatening us you know what you have to do.”

“don’t ask me to do that.” I murmured against the glass. 

“at the risk of sounding like that barbarian Atwood, time is ticking.” Came more of Hintzen’s mocking. 

“Nick please, you’re the kind of man that won’t make this decision lightly. So let me make it for you. chose me to erase.”

“whoa hold up Mags!” shouting Gray cast her eyes between me and Mags. “there’s gotta be a way out of this! Nick and I always figure a way out. Come on you old synth! Don’t give up on me now.”

“I wish I could, but Gray we’re in a rock and hard place. If I don’t chose it’s just gonna be both of you.” is this what Gray had felt all those days ago when it was a choice between me and Photon? At least right up until I’d come up with a plan. There was no plan here. No way out. Hintzen had covered all the angles. 

“I appreciate that you understand the circumstances prototype. Now C2 has volunteered themselves, but I want to hear the words from you. who am I going to erase and who do you get back?” 

Both of them fell silent after that. they had their eyes on the ground. Neither one of them even looked scared just resigned. I knew what they were trying to do. Trying to make it easier on me to say the words I had to. But how in the hell did either of them expect me to choose between them? “I love you both.” I whispered.

“we know Nick.” Gray’s voice came through over the speakers. I snapped my eyes up to her. She was grim and angry. “because that’s who you are. Whatever you decide-”

“we’re both behind you.” Mags finished. 

“don’t be so damn noble.” If this was the kind of affect I had on people, then maybe I should reign it in. 

“do not make me start a timer prototype.” 

The worst part is that he knew who I was going to pick. Like I’d already picked her. I couldn’t even convince myself it was a debate. My heart loved them both. But there was only one person that it belonged to. “damn it!” roaring I smashed my metal fist against the glass. It only thudded, didn’t even crack. 

Mags flinched on the other side. 

“well?” Hintzen really was starting to sound impatient. “I’m waiting prototype.” 

“I’m sorry….” My shoulders started shaking violently. The closest to sobbing I’d ever get. “I’m sorry Mags…. But I have to choose Gray.” 

“louder, so they can hear you this time.” 

“damn you….” with gritted teeth I forced myself to look up at them. Judging by their reactions they could hear me now. So I called to them in the strongest tone I could manage. “I’m sorry Mags! But Gray is….”

“the love of your life.” She finished with a nod. “I understand.”

“erase Magnolia….” 

It was sudden, and all around somewhat anti climatic. Her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. She jerked once before relaxing. Slumping over her knees, her eyes slid shut. Across from her Gray turned her head away. 

The door beeped open. I tore into the next room. Gray avoided looking at Mags while I raced over and took that damn helmet off her head. “is she really…?” 

“I’ll check her in a minute, let me get you out of this.” for good measure I smashed the helmet on the ground under foot. It wasn’t going to hurt anybody else. Then I went to work on Gray’s hands. The rope came free after a few seconds of fiddling. 

Once free she rubbed at her wrists. “I’ve got me, go check her.” 

“are you sure?”

“yeah go.”

Mags was limp in her chair. The only thing holding her up were her wrists bound behind her chair. Her head lulled against her chest. As gently as I could I unstrapped the helmet from her head. No reaction. With her chin in my hand I tilted her face up to me. “Mags? Please say something.” using the thumb and forefinger on my left hand I opened her eye. the pupil contracted. So at least she wasn’t brain dead but… she was gone. 

“as I said, completely erased. A blank slate waiting for a new personality to be imprinted. My colleagues at the Institute certainly out did themselves when they designed generation threes.” This time Hintzen’s voice didn’t come from the speakers over head but it didn’t lose any of the electronic quality. 

My eyes snapped to the doorway I’d walked through to get here. It was wide open and a man filled the space. No not a man, a skeleton. That wasn’t right either. He was made of silver and black metal. Any attempt at making the robot look human was abandoned. The plating and wires gave him the appearance of a skeleton with muscles and sinew partially formed. The face was the worst. Like a skull with only some of the muscle stretched between the jaws. Eyes were glowing a deep red. Subtle. 

The appearance was certainly enough to strike fear in me. backing up I stood between this thing and Gray. She was still working on the ropes on her legs. “stay away from us.” 

“extremely protective, predictively.” With his metal hands behind his back he strode into the room. he towered high over our heads. Maybe six and a half feet tall. A hulking humanoid beast. He came to stand next to Mags. Every wire of my body screamed as he reached out to caress her cheek. “beautiful, I wonder why the Institute decided to make them attractive.”

“don’t touch her!” Gray snarled, finally rising up beside me. 

With a hand I gently eased her back behind me. “Hintzen I presume. You finally show yourself?” 

“wait, he’s a robot?!” Gray cried.

That inscrutable metal skull turned on us. There was nothing to read although I’d bet my hat he was amused. “robot is such a rudimentary word. This body is far more than simply a means to move around. I have worked for a hundred years to perfect it.” 

“well if you were aiming to look like a freak, you certainly did it.” she hissed. 

“you will always have a smart mouth won’t you? Even after Rush tampered with your mind you were sharp tongued. Tell me, how much of that person is left in you?” 

Gray fell silent. 

Reaching back I found her hand and grasped it. her fingers were shaking. “alright Hintzen. Are you going to stop and explain what the hell this is all about or are you going to keep torturing us?”

“my intention was not torture. Although that was an unfortunate side effect.” His hand fell from Mags cheek. He took a firm step forward, those metal feet clinked cleanly on the concrete floor. 

“unfortunate side effect?!” we backed up even while I roared at him. Gray’s hand was still in mine. “you made me believe that Gray was dead! you killed Scot! You killed Mags! And now what?! What’s the next step?!” 

“why are you doing all this to us?” Gray added her angry voice with mine. 

Hintzen stopped walking toward us. Those eyes weren’t even close enough to human to read. I’d always said there was no humanity in this psychopath but I never realized just how right that was. “an experiment. You see I was the one that created the prototype, the synth you call Nick Valentine.”

“what?” in a shudder my entire body froze. There wasn’t even a doubt in my mind. it was like I’d known. Something inside me knew what he was saying was true. Disjointed memories of the Institute came flooding back to me. shadowy figures through the windows watching while they played with my mind. 

Warm hands on my arm drew me back to the present. Two heavy gray eyes stared at me. “whether he created you or not doesn’t matter.” 

“make no mistake, it does.” There was amusement in his voice again. He was relishing this. just an experiment my ass. “I built it from the ground up. I spent a year tearing it apart and putting it back together until the personality imprint finally held. Once it did I spent months making improvements on the original design. I know its body better than you ever could.” 

My skin crawled. An irrational need to tear it off overtook me. The buzzing in my head was starting. It was getting worse. I could barely hear Gray as she snarled at Hintzen. “you don’t know him! if you did you’d be running for the hills. You’re not getting away with this.” 

“I know it. it’s because of it that I’m here. As the project continued there was talk within the Institute of making me the next director. Much was riding on the success of project prototype. But then it escaped, along with the other one. Cause and effect it all fell apart.” 

“so this is just a grudge match?” the lunacy of that statement almost made me laugh. Gaping I stared him in the eye, half grinning, half horrified. “you’re pissed off at me cause when I escaped you were revealed for the fraud you are? And you’ve held onto that grudge for a hundred years?” 

“because of you they took everything from me!” finally a real human emotion out of that skull face. his eyes flared just a little brighter. Even if his shell was machine, his insides were as human as ever. “my projects were taken from me, I was placed under house arrest, my rank was stripped from me. when I realized there was no hope of ever regaining my position I came up with a plan. You were the key. I copied my mind over to a prototype synth body, killed the original and escaped.”

“you killed yourself?” my jaw dropped.

“it was necessary.” The rage from before was totally gone. Either he had a limited range or he was off the charts insane. “I knew what had to be done, and there by so did he.” 

“you’re out of your mind.” in disbelief I shook my head. “all this time I knew you were a sociopath but this is worse than I thought. You killed yourself just to cover your tracks. All to escape into this hell hole.”

“you’ve gotta be the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met.” Gray was almost laughing now and I got why. why would anyone want to escape into this? being powerless or not in the Institute so long as you weren’t a synth it was a paradise. 

Hintzen’s head dropped forward an inch. Every movement he made was subtle but now that I wasn’t internally screaming I was starting to see them. Finally my detective brain was kicking in. Gray always said everyone had tells and Hintzen, even like this, was no different. His hands were tight at his sides. There was that unmistakable square in his shoulders. “colorfully put. Your better half was far more civil.”

“when she wasn’t breaking bones and spilling blood.” she answered with amusement.

I didn’t like that tone. Over my shoulder I gave her a once over. There was something in her eye. That glint of defiance and cynicism was still there, as always. Under that though. God could she be bleeding that much? Scot had said she’d snapped but I didn’t quite believe it. Now I did, now I couldn’t ignore it. 

“quite.” Hintzen was nodding when I looked back at him.

“so is this it? is your revenge finished?” it was too much to hope that he’d have gotten bored with this sick game by now. a hundred years is a long time to hold a grudge. How in the hell did he even remember all the way back then? 

“no.” 

Well there ya go. Shaking my head I looked back at Gray. There was that look. One that I hadn’t been fond of before but couldn’t help but admire now. no caution. No fear. Just one thought. We gotta kill this fucker. For once, I agreed with her reckless attitude. What did we have? I could probably do damage if he was distracted long enough. “Helmet, I’ll take care of the rest.” 

“sounds good.” 

We rushed him, before Hintzen could say anything. Gray slid between his legs toward the helmet that still lay broken behind him. I grabbed his arm, twisted him over my hip. With a crash he hit the ground. While Gray ripped the sparking wires out of the broken helmet I pinned Hintzen to the ground. 

And all the while he was smiling. 

As I held him Gray bore down with the wires only to stop when he started laughing. “what the fuck are you laughing about?!” 

“you’re so naive. Do you think killing me now will do you any good?”

“what are you saying?” she snarled. 

“just shock him Gray.” 

Hintzen’s blood red eyes switched to me. “surely you understand. We’re both machines, all be it I’m the superior build. But that should make it even more obvious to you. Think about DiMA.”

“what’s he talking about Nick?” 

With one hand on his neck I stabbed my fingers into his eyes. sparks jutted out of the holes, up my right arm. they didn’t do enough damage just left a tingling sensation. Hintzen bucked and screamed under me. I tried not to take any satisfaction in that. 

The move spurred Gray into action. She shoved the sparking end of the cable down Hintzen’s open mouth. His screams turned into mechanical whines. His body convulsed and twitched under my weight. A few sparks arched into mine forcing me to leap off. Grabbing Gray around the middle I dragged her away. The sparks kept flying, Hintzen kept twitching. If he didn’t deserve it so much I’d be disgusted. 

“we should go.” Gray said hoarsely. “before his fucking robots find us.”

“we gotta find the others, any idea where to start?” spinning I ran to Mags. Still hadn’t moved although her eyes were now wide open. Could that be a good sign? Could she still be in there somewhere? No. Hintzen would know how to destroy her mind, after all the Institute could do it. 

“what are you doing Nick?” even while she questioned me Gray helped untie Mags from the chair. 

The ropes came free and Mags slumped. I swept her up in my arms, cradling her limp head against my shoulder. “I’m not leaving her here. We’re bringing her with us.” 

Gray’s jaw flexed. She looked like she wanted to argue. I knew damn well what she was going to say. Mags was a dead weight, literally. She’d just slow us down. there was no point bringing her back if she was gone. I was being too damn sentimental. 

Instead her fists unclenched and she nodded. “we can’t leave her behind. Lets go.” 

My jaw fell open. With all the bleeding in her mind I thought she’d be more callous than that. Maybe things weren’t as bad as I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya know what i hate? naming chapters, can't i just leave it blank?   
> also i apparently can't decide on the spelling of Gray's name. Not sure why. 
> 
> anyway, hope you all enjoying it! next week is one of my favorite chapters. so till then, write on!


	27. Beat the big bad… right?

Well things are bad aren’t they?

Shut up.

But killing Hintzen was very fun wasn’t it? not quite satisfying though. he should have suffered longer than that. Jimmy died slower than he did. 

We don’t have time for this.

You don’t have time for this, what with all this running you and Nick are doing. But I have all the time in the world and all the time to waste on appreciating the past. I thought Hintzen would be more difficult to kill, at least when I saw that body of his. Maybe its not as advanced as he’d like to think.

Electrocution tends to be a good move against robots.

Well we should know shouldn’t we? Well, except that we shot Nick in the head and killed him so. Oh and then there was DiMA. Nick killed him pretty cold blooded with a bullet.

Do you have a point?

You’re trying to avoid the truth aren’t you? even I can see it. Nick can see it. why can’t you? do you really think this is all that easy? You’ve beaten the big bad and now all you have to do is find your friends and you’ll ride off into the sunset. Come on Vel, you know that stories don’t end that way.

Don’t call me that, my name is Gray.

Abandoning the name are you? too bad.

“gray! Which way?!” 

Blinking I forced my eyes to focus again. We were standing at a crossroads. This place was bigger than I thought, and almost impossible to navigate. I hadn’t seen nearly enough of it when finding Nick in the first place. Now I wish I had. From behind Nick marched up. He still had Magnolia in his arms. Why hadn’t I told him to leave her? That would be the smart move. But not the right move. “true adventurers go left?” 

“I’d be dropping my face in my hand if I were capable.” He groaned with a slight smile. “are you lost?”

“no, I just don’t currently have a reference to our location.”

“well to make a reference we’re about a left a right and a full corridor away from where we started. Does that help?” 

“you think you’re so funny.” I rolled my eyes.

“I am funny. You’ve just been away for too long to appreciate it. I’m going to have to break you back in.” 

Good lord you’re bantering. 

“come on, I’m sure it’s this way.” Left was better than standing around here doing nothing. as we ran I checked every doorway I could that had a window or would open. So far they all just had more lab space, or more computers. Through one we stumbled into something more interesting. 

“servers.” Nick murmured. 

“what?” the room was full of electronic towers with little blinking lights on them and wires strung between. It was cold too. Hintzen must be keeping the electronics cold. 

“think of them as computers without the screen. You string enough of these together and you get a supercomputer. Lot of processing, a lot of power. But they’ve gotta be kept cold or they’re liable to go critical.” 

“the hell he needs so many of these for?” there were at least twenty five. Maybe more. 

“no time for that, keep moving.” Nick split away first and I was forced to follow. 

Eventually we turned down a dead end with a couple of doors on it. Quietly I cursed under my breath and made to go back. Nick stopped me with a step into my path. “check the doors, we may get lucky.”

Better safe than sorry I supposed. Nick went down on a knee in the corridor, gently leaning Magnolia in his lap. 

Look at that look he’s giving her. He’s really in love with her. 

That was years ago, he’s not in love with her anymore. Or at least I had to keep telling myself that.

Not exactly true based on that look.

Jaw set tight I tore my eyes from him. She was just trying to get under my skin. That’s all. Expecting Nick not to have feelings for her was like expecting him not to have feelings for Jenny Lands. I knew better. 

The door ahead on the left lead into a closet. There just waiting for me sat my Pipboy. Eagerly I attached it to my arm while I looked around the rest of the room. everything was here. My kit, Hancock’s, Fahrenheit’s, weapons and armor included. I stuffed what I could into a bag. That’s when I noticed the lone Magnum lying on the shelves beside some ammo. Magnolia’s piece. 

Then that thought, could she be saved?

And the more importantly, do you want her saved?

I took the gun and went to meet Nick outside again. He was standing at the other door looking relieved. “they’re in here. Can you get the lock open?”

“I’ll certainly try.” My gut was tight as I handed Magnolia’s gun over to Nick. “here….”

Brows up he took it. then they immediately dropped when he looked at the gun. that heavy look was painful. Not because Nick was giving it, but because I knew it was about another woman. it was stupid and I felt stupid for being jealous like this. that’s what this was right? Magnolia was dead. and Hintzen killed her. That’s the part I should be focusing on. 

You’re pathetic.

A window set into the door provided a view of what looked like a conference room. with a big long table in the middle and chairs set around it. Hancock had his back to it. At his shoulder I could just make out Ellison’s hair. Neither one of them looked good. There was blood on his coat and her hair was wild. 

“give me a sec.” At least there were still bobbi pins with my kit when I picked it up. It took me less than a minute to get the lock to pop. Eagerly I stepped inside, striding toward Hancock. “hey! Hancock! I thought I told you two to bug out when things got bad. What gi-”

A bony fist collided hard with my jaw. Next thing I knew I was being hauled up onto the table. My head cracked against the wood. “you piece of shit! How long have you been lying to me?! tell me!” 

“John! Stop!” 

Finally I could see him. his snarling ghoul face was mere inches from mine. The only time I got this close to a ghoul was when it was trying to kill me. I guess that hadn’t change. His fists were tight on my throat. “Hancock! Please let me explain! It’s no-”

His fists tightened, cutting off my windpipe. There was enough force to bruise my skin. Even felt his nails digging in. his teeth were even more rotted this close. “you killed her! You killed Vel and replaced her! You’re fucking disgusting!”

“John!”

“Hancock!”

His hands disappeared. Coughing I rolled over with a hand at my throat. there was a little blood. he’d actually tried to kill me. I couldn’t believe it. nah I could. I’d always said if he found out he’d kill me. that’s the whole reason I’d kept it quiet from him. when I was done coughing I looked and found Nick standing with his back to me. Mags was lying on the table beside me. in the corner Fahrenheit and Ellison, both looking like total shit, had Hancock by the arms.

“get off me! get off me! Fahrenheit how can you do this?! she’s a synth! You heard them!” his speech boarded on growls and snarls.

“calm down Hancock! Let her explain!” Fahrenheit grunted. There was a bandage over one full side of her face. it was already soaked with blood. some of it dripped out from under it. fighting Hancock wasn’t helping.

Ellison beside her didn’t look good either. There was a black mark on her shoulder. laser burn by the look of it. she was in a lot of pain trying to hold back Hancock. 

“let him go guys, he needs this.” painfully I got up. 

But Nick held me back with a hand. the other he had held out at the three. “John, please listen to me. Gray replaced Vel, yes, but that was three years ago.”

“three years?!” he gaped. Great that was just gonna make him even angrier. “you’ve known for three years and you said nothing?! I thought Vel was your friend! But you’re sleeping with the thing that stole her face!” 

“it’s not that simple, Hancock shut up and listen to them!” Fahrenheit wasn’t showing any sign of fatigue. If anyone was secretly a courser it would be her. 

“no! did you know? Did you know about this? Fahrenheit god damn it answer me!” straining, he twisted around to look at them. 

Fahrenheit’s face was grim. 

“you did! You knew and you didn’t kill it?!” 

“she’s all we’ve got of Vel. Whether you like it or not that’s our kiddo.” 

“that’s not her! That thing killed her! And I’m going to kill it!” He wrenched himself free of Fahrenheit then elbowed Ellison in the face. she yelped and let him go. Free he tried to reach me again but Nick caught him.

“please, John stop.” 

“get out of my way synth.” He hissed through gritted teeth. They were all tangled up in each other’s arms. If things weren’t so dire I might make a joke about embracing one another. Hancock’s furious, murderous eyes killed my voice in my throat. “I wont hesitate to kill you too.” 

“I’m not going to let you anywhere near her.” Nick murmured angry enough to match Hancock. 

“look at you. Vel was your friend! She looked up to you! she loved you! how can you betray her like this?!” he jabbed a finger toward me the broken brutal nail was still a little red with my blood. “that thing killed her!”

“you haven’t heard the whole story.” Firmly Nick stood his ground. Never afraid of the ghoul. “Gray tried to save Vel. Vel was overrun by ghouls and Gray stepped in to help. the brotherhood of steel stepped in and shot Vel. It was a fluke that Gray was the one that survived.” 

“so you fuckers were in on it too!” Hancock finally turned his furious gaze from me to Ellison. 

She’d been staring at me this whole time. With that blank as hell expression that was unnerving. Now she looked to Hancock with no trace of fear. Let alone understanding of what was about to happen. Hancock made to grab her.

“leave her alone!” darting around Nick I got between Hancock and her. He snarled but came up short. 

“gray-”

I threw up a hand at Nick. “Ellison had nothing to do with it. She didn’t know. And she probably hates me as much as you right now. if you want to beat the shit out of someone you do it to me.” 

“with pleasure.” In leathery fists he caught my collar. He hauled me clean off my feet and smashed me into a concrete wall. The breath left me in a rush. “you’re not Vel, you’re never gonna be Vel, and you killed her.”

“you’re right, I’m not Vel. Anymore than she was Vel of eight years ago, or ten or twenty. I’m the new one. I’m Gray. If that’s a problem then go ahead and kill me.”

You’re making a pretty flimsy argument there. you could break his jaw. That might bring back enough memories to get him to listen to you. 

His hands shook on my collar. Three years I’d been lying to him. two of those he had near nothing to do with me. maybe that was gonna make killing me easier on him. going off that look it wasn’t true. Hancock had never been faced with a duplicate of someone close to him. he talked big but when push came to shove, he wasn’t so sure. 

The others were gathered around us apprehensively. Except Ellison of course who was examining Magnolia. What was going through that brotherhood mind I wondered. Nick’s hands hovered over Hancock’s shoulders, ready to step in when Hancock tried to strangle me. Fahrenheit was bleeding out from under that bandage bad. 

Eventually Hancock’s hands loosened at my throat. my feet found steady ground and he backed up. Nick slid in beside me while we watched the ghoul stalk up to the far end of the room. “we’re getting out of here. And when we do, if I ever see you again, I’m going to kill you.” 

“have you thought that escape isn’t necessary?” 

The blood went cold in my veins as we turned. There in the doorway stood Hintzen. Impossibly he didn’t even look damaged. I could have sworn Nick destroyed his eyes before we left. But no. he stood just as tall, filling the doorway with that passive skull face. 

Everyone but Ellison backed up. She was transfixed by him, eyes wider than hubcaps. At first I thought she was fascinated, then I saw her shaking. One of her hands was clamped tight on her injured arm. 

Nick put a hand on my arm, guiding me back behind him protectively. Defiantly I stepped out on the other side, gun raised at the robot in front of us. 

Hintzen tilted his head at it. “well, I see you found your weapons. No matter, I am not here to fight, I am here to extend an offer.” 

“we don’t want to hear it.” Nick growled so low I could barely make out the words. 

“speak for yourself prototype, my offer is to the rest of your companions. Not you, so stay silent.” Those glowing red eyes drifted over us. 

It made my gun hand shake. “we killed you! how the hell are you still alive?!”

I could have sworn I saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes. but that was impossible. They looked even less human than Nick’s. “I do not wish to discount the effort you’ve already made. You did in fact kill me. truly unexpected. That body is beyond repair at this point, it’s already on its way to the scarp heap. But did you honestly think that was the only body I have?”

I told you.

Shit. “you’re saying… you just transferred yourself to another body?”

“the mind is all that matters to maintain your identity. I have dozens of these bodies. My mind is safely stored on my servers. Any time I need a new one, it’s only a few commands away.” He was gloating. You could hear his smirk in that smooth electronic voice. Of course, he had every right to. How were we supposed to beat something that couldn’t be killed? “now then, to my offer.” His face turned to the others, utterly ignoring me and Nick. “you’re all wastelanders so I trust you know a good bargain when you see it.”

“just shoot him Gray.” Fahrenheit growled with a hand on her face. there was a lot of blood there.

“do not be so hasty my dear, there is much that I can offer you in exchange for your cooperation.” No sign of fear in him as I aimed my gun point blank at his head. 

“we don’t want anything you have to offer.” Hancock spoke for the first time, his voice gravellier than ever. 

“I think you do.” Hintzen kept his eyes set on Fahrenheit as he spoke. “I won’t insult you by pretending that this is a debate so allow me to come right to the point. You’ve lost your eye in this misguided attempt to save a machine. I offer to give it back to you. in fact I offer to give you better eyes than any human has.”

She scoffed. “I’ll take my chances.”

“but you know as well as the rest of us that an injury like that is not an easy thing to survive with in the wasteland.” He thought he had her. Like this stupid ploy was enough to make her turn. Half smiling I looked back at her only to feel my heart drop. She wasn’t looking at any of us. “I’m offering to save you, Fahrenheit. Or at least buy you a few more years.”

“she don’t want anything!” with a loud smack Hancock slammed his fist on the table making all of us jump. “so take your fucking mile long smile and get the hell out of here!”

Instead of doing any of that, Hintzen turned his gaze on him. “and Mr. Hancock, I understand the position that you are in well. You and I both protect and serve our people. You want to go back to them don’t you?”

“I’d rather die slow than slink back to Goodneighbor with my tail between my legs.” 

“but how much longer do you have left?” 

Hancock’s face went slack. 

And Hintzen knew it. with his arms spread wide he continued. “I can help you.”

“like ya helped Smith?” he snarled but his eyes were now on the table in front of him.

“Smith wished for a cure, which I am afraid does not exist. The damage done to your body is irreversible. Any amount of reconstructive surgery would eventually decay just like the rest of you. however….” He paused. He actually fucking paused. Like some kind god damn showman who wanted to build suspense. The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger was the look on Hancock’s face. “your condition can be halted. No more wondering when you will, what’s the term, go feral. No more fear of the day you lose your mind and kill your friends. I can give you that Mr. Hancock.” 

“and what exactly are you asking in return?” Nick finally spoke after long silence. It didn’t sound like his voice for a minute. Weighed down by so much emotion. 

Hintzen flat out ignored him. next he looked at Ellison who backed up as far as the room would allow. She was truly terrified of him. had he been the one to strike her? “and miss Ellison. You and I share a similar love for science in all its glory. I dare say that you have a more practical approach. I can offer you science facilities unmatched by any that you have ever seen. On the caliber of the Institute. You would be free to do whatever research you liked.” 

A glint sparked in her eye under the fear. If there was one thing that would get Ellison’s attention it would be that. sure she had a lab back in Goodneighbor but that was nothing compared to what we had already seen. And she knew it. 

Finally Hintzen turned his gaze on me. my gun came back up. I expected him to laugh but when he spoke next it was almost sad. “as for you, Gray is it? tell me, what do you think the difference is between a synth and a human?”

The question caught me off guard. My gun drifted down a couple inches before I brought it back up. “our memories can be toyed with.” 

He nodded, almost sage like. “that is true however do you know why that is? Early models such as C2-41 were difficult to program. It was an intensive process which defeated the utility of generation 3 synths. So the Institute discovered a solution, while also giving them complete control of a synth.” 

“the chip….” I murmured barely loud enough to be heard.

He nodded. “the synth component. A chip that allows easy access to a synth’s memory and acts as a recall device in the case of an escape. That is the defining difference between a synth and a human. Without that, you are a human. I can remove it. I can free you from the shackles of your recall code and give you the chance to live a normal life. That’s something you’ve always wanted, isn’t that right?”

Oh he’s good. I rather like him.

Before I even knew it my gun was falling. “you can’t take the chip out…. That’s impossible….”

“for primitives such as those so called doctors out there maybe, but not for me.”

Freedom from the code?

Maybe you should ask him if he can take the voice out of your head. And by voice I mean you, and your head, I mean mine.

“Gray….” A hand gently touched my back.

I looked up to find glowing yellow eyes staring into mine. 

Hintzen continued speaking before I could even say anything to Nick. “I can offer you all of this, and more. Wastelanders such as yourself have a need for stability, not to wake up wondering if you’ll die that day. I can offer you that too. Deven can offer that to you. all I ask is that you leave me in peace to continue my work.”

“is that it?” against the wall Fahrenheit was starting to look pale. Or maybe it was all the blood dripping down her jaw. “you give us all that and we just leave you alone?”

“well no, there is one other thing.” Those red eyes landed on Nick and I felt him stiffen against my side. “you will leave me to finish my work, and the prototype. It’s up to you.”

What Hintzen was offering was beyond any of our dreams. You could see it. in the way everyone had their gazes set firmly on the ground. Some desires were basic needs, like Fahrenheit. Others were life long dreams like Hancock’s. we were all silent. Even Nick. You’d think he’d be trying to convince us not to turn him over. Feeling guilt I looked to him. his eyes were downcast too but for an entirely different reason. 

Jaw set he spoke quietly. “I understand…. Anyone would choose this….”

He slipped from my side.

“no fucking deal!” angrily I grabbed Nick’s hand and pointed my gun at Hintzen with new found anger. “I don’t give a rat’s ass what you’re offering. I wouldn’t give Nick up for the world you hear me you piece of shit?!”

“but Gray he’s offering to free you. I understand if-”

“shut up. Freedom is worth nothing if it isn’t with you.” 

Well aren’t you the sweetest? Isn’t it about time to start shooting?

Not just yet. Furious I swung my gaze on the others. Fahrenheit was looking right at me. That one good eye didn’t offer any insights into what she was thinking. When she strode forward and took her gun from my pack I knew. She pointed her laser rifle at Hintzen. “thanks but no thanks. I’ll take my chances with one eye.”

Then she glared at Hancock. 

He’d remained silent since, staring transfixed at the wood under his hands. Who could blame him? I sure as hell was. Part of me wanted him to take Hintzen’s offer. It would make killing him easier if it came to it. after all there was only two ways this was going to go. Either he killed me, or I killed him. and I wasn’t sure which way was more likely.

I’ll tell you which way is more likely.

Eventually he met Fahrenheit’s gaze and I watched the argument silently pass between them. For the first time I could actually appreciate how long they had been friends. They were even better at communicating silently than me and Nick. I only wished I could understand what they were saying.

At last Hancock turned a glare on Hintzen. “no deal. Valentine’s my friend.” 

Something akin to a sigh drifted out of Hintzen. He rolled his shoulders back, making all those mechanical muscles ripple. “I didn’t think that wastelanders like you would be able to resist such an offer. Even if it meant sacrificing one of your companions. It can’t be helped.” 

“we’re walking out of here. There’s nothing you can do to stop us.” With Fahrenheit at my shoulder we faced off against him. a quick glance out the door showed he hadn’t brought back up. At least not right away. The place was likely crawling with his damn robots. If we killed him and ran we’d have one hell of a time getting out.

“you’ll find that it won’t be that simple.” with a shake of his head he extended his hand toward us. “this is my lab. I know every inch of it. there is nowhere you can hide that I won’t find you. save yourselves the hardship and turn the prototype over to me. and in exchange I will give you what you care most about.” 

“the jokes on you scrap heap.” Some of Hancock’s signature sarcasm returned to his voice. Confidently he stood straight, thumbs looped in his belt. “we care most about our friends.” 

“and nothing you could offer us would ever change that.” Ellison murmured quietly where she still stood beside Magnolia. 

Nick’s hand slacked in mine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him relax. “ya didn’t really think we’d abandon you for a few trinkets did you?”

“he wasn’t offering trinkets.” He retorted half heartedly, then offered me a smile to match. “thank you.” 

“so is this the part where you begin firing like barbarians?” that condescending tone made my wrist ached.

“good idea.” Fahrenheit replied. 

Together we gunned him down. it took less than a minute to reduce that body to scrap. My gun tore it apart and Fahrenheit’s lasers finished him off. In no time he was a pile of singed metal and burning circuit boards. The room fell silent. Except for the sizzle and spark of electricity arching out of that metal carcass. 

“you honestly thought that would do any good?” came Hintzen’s voice over the speakers.

I shoved my gun back in its holster at my hip. “no, but it sure as hell felt good.”

“we should get moving before he sends more scrap bots our way.” Without even looking at me Hancock took the pack from my shoulders. Out of it he produced his shotgun. For a minute his eyes fell on me. tense I waited for him to turn the gun on me. my wrist ached. 

I wonder which one of you is faster. Probably him if we’re being honest. You’re not as fast as you used to be. 

Yeah no doubt, Hancock would win at an old fashioned draw. What would happen after that wasn’t really my concern. 

Fahrenheit’s hand darted out of nowhere at Hancock’s gun. She forced him to lower it, glaring him in the eye. “you pull that trigger and I’ll put you in the ground.” 

Scoffing, he put his gun away. “wasn’t thinkin about it till you said somethin.”

“let’s get moving. We won’t be safe until we get to Deven.” One of Nick’s hands wrapped around my arm and drew me back away from Hancock. Any added distance was welcome.

Fahrenheit split off to gently pick Magnolia’s body up off the table. “what’s Deven?”

“it’s a settlement a few blocks away from here. It’s safe trust me.”

“no offence Nick, but how you expect us to outpace an army of robots through the ruins?” after everything we had been through so far, making that walk seemed pretty slim. 

“we won’t be going over ground.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot today was friday, not been a good week. i'll see you all next week, till then write on!


	28. Call me Irresponsible

“Thank you Mal, for all of this.” with a flick I lit the match in a fluid motion. The flame wavered for a second before it solidified. With anticipation I held it to the cigarette in my mouth. 

“friends of yours are friends of mine.” The mayor leaned up against the wall beside me. he glanced up at the windows over our heads. His brows were drawn in a confused frown. “but I wasn’t expecting you all to look so… rough around the edges. You still haven’t explained what’s happened. Or how your fiancé is alive.” 

“that’s a complicated one, and I don’t think you’ll believe me.” a rush of relief filled me as I took a drag of the cig. For a minute I held the smoke. 

“try me.” 

If only I could. No telling how loyal Mal was to Hintzen. One wrong move and this little slice of sanctuary could be gone. And we needed it more than ever. We were all in bad shape. The doctors were working on Fahrenheit not that there was much they could do. Ellison was on recovery. Gray was resting. And Hancock was, well no idea where he’d gone. Probably went looking for a hole to shoot up in. that was his usual MO. 

With a huff I let the smoke drift toward the sky. “Gray was never killed. Hintzen played me. She brought the others here to bring me back.”

“I can’t believe he would do something like that. surely there has to be an explanation.” 

In response I just grunted. It wasn’t my job to convince him that the man he’d looked up to for his whole life wasn’t even a man. Had to hand it Hintzen, he’d kept these people in the dark like a goddamn magician. Then again, if you were as content as these people there wasn’t much reason to go looking for answers. The important bit was that Deven was safe. Hintzen hadn’t, and wouldn’t, send any robots after us here. That didn’t mean we could hide here forever. We’d need a plan eventually. 

“I thought you left a couple days ago. Jeff at the Inn said he saw you leave with a woman and another ghoul.” Mal was just pushing his luck. If he asked too many questions he wouldn’t like the answers to them.

It did remind me of Scot. Supposed there was no point hoping his body was still there. even if Hintzen hadn’t taken it any number of other things would. That wasn’t right. Scot deserved to be buried next to his husband. Just one more thing that was my fault. 

“Magnolia is in a coma. And the ghoul must have been Hancock.” 

“right.” didn’t even need to read his face to know he wasn’t buying it. he probably wasn’t buying any of this. 

With a grunt I shoved off the wall. The cigarette landed in a little pile of ash at my feet before I stamped it out. “I’m going to go check on Gray. If you see the ghoul let me know. And if he causes any trouble do not hesitate to lock him up till he cools off.”

“will do.”

I felt Mal’s eyes on me as I walked back around to the front entrance of the hospital. It was an overcast day with clouds thick in the sky. They promised rain, and not the kind you’d go singing in. most people in Deven were just trying to finish their business so they could hide in their homes. That wasn’t really an option for us. 

On the top floor I turned silently into one of the hospital rooms. Gray sat in a chair against the wall, her head lulled to the side while Fahrenheit snored softly on the bed. It was all a very peaceful scene. A little unnerving too. I’d seen Gray sleeping plenty, but Fahrenheit doing it didn’t seem right. 

“you’ll get a crick in your neck sleeping like that silly.” Murmuring softly I knelt beside Gray’s chair. 

She stirred a little when I put a gentle hand on hers. Blinking those eyes that I loved, she straightened. “how long have I been out?” 

“don’t know, here, lets get you to a bed or something.” 

“I’m fine I don’t need any more sleep.” With shaky hands she held mine at bay. There was the shadow of something in her face that gave me pause. The bleeding. What kind of effect was it having on her now? there was no telling how bad things were getting in that head of hers. Maybe she just didn’t want to sleep.

“are ya hungry? I’ve been told the Blast Glass has got decent food.” 

“with a name like that its drinks gotta be good.”

“well?”

“yeah, I guess I’m hungry.” 

“come on then.” Smiling I offered her a hand.

But then she stopped as her eyes fell on Fahrenheit. “should we leave them? Will they be safe?”

“as safe as the rest of us. Don’t worry Gray, I promise nothing is going to happen.” I was expecting a fight but I guess she was too exhausted to give one. with her arm slid into mine, I lead her out of the hospital down the length of the town.

As we walked she stared with some awe at the town. laced with suspicion. “place is… nice….”

“too nice?” I offered.

She nodded. “glad I’m not the only one thinking it. We saw robots fighting all kinds of monsters on the way in. guess they belong to Hintzen.”

“that’s the only way they can afford to live this way.” We passed an alley and down it I could see the walls they’d put up to protect their town. they weren’t strong walls, just tall. A behemoth could reduce it to splinters with a well aimed kick. “He probably uses his robot army to keep ghouls and Supermutants at bay. Without them this town would be over run in a matter of days.”

“and he asks for nothing in return?” Gray’s jaw fell open.

Noncommittally I shrugged. “apparently. Laws are fairly strict here and punishment severe. I was told that murderers get sent to Hintzen’s lab and never seen or heard from again.” 

“probably cause he dissected them or something.” 

With a shake of my head I pulled her tight in to my side. “enough about that. can we stop and appreciate the fact that we’re both alive?”

Her laugh wasn’t quite as light hearted as I’d have liked, and that smile didn’t reach her eyes. but at least she could still laugh. Arm around my waist she grinned at me. “not much of a miracle is it? I mean come on the only way you and I are going out is in a massive cataclysmic explosion.”

“now there’s a five dollar word.” With my lips against her temple I took a quick breath of her. She smelled like blood, sweat and smoke. Didn’t matter to me. the warmth of her body pressed against mine. The feel of her heart beat. Her breath against my cheek. Those were the things that mattered. “if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to delay that going out by a couple centuries.”

“you planning to stay with me that long?” under that joking tone there was a bit of bitterness there. 

“only if you want me that long.” 

This time she kissed me on the cheek, her hand brushed against my cheekbone, or scaffold whatever. “forever is a long time for synths ya know.”

“I’m fully aware, I waited forever just to find you.” even to my own ears that sounded sappy and Gray laughed in my face for it. 

Clutching her stomach she leaned over while mirth burst out of her. A few people gave us looks as we passed. If I had blood I’d be blushing. “that was adorable Nick, god I love you.” 

“just trying to be sweet and I get laughed at.” Pretending to be hurt, I strode ahead of her toward the bar. The Blast Glass looked as busy as the Dugout Inn would be this time of day. Well at least that was something Diamond city and this place had in common. 

“oh come on sweetie I didn’t mean it.” one of her hands found its way back into mine while she tugged on me. I slowed my pace to let her catch up. “you can just be intense sometimes that’s all. I’m still not used to it.”

“we’ve been dating for over two years now and you’re still not used to it?” my brows shot up at her. “ya don’t expect me to believe that.”

“maybe you underestimate how intense you can be.” She smiled up at me. that time it reached her eyes.

Inside the bar there was a group of night guards blowing off some steam from the night before. they drank loudly in one corner, drowning out the music that played over the radio. Gran stood behind the counter, cleaning a glass with a cloth like usual. The moment we stepped in she spotted us and a rotted toothed smile split her face. “well I’ll be a Molerat humping gutter ghoul, is that the famed girl herself?”

Gray instantly came up short inside the door. she gripped my arm tight. The sweat on her palm was more than I needed to know she was nervous. Like a cornered animal. She used to get this way a lot back when we first got back from Far Harbor. She hated the attention. 

So I steered her gently forward. Thankfully none of the guards had eyes on us, only Gran watched with a beaming face. “hey Gran, don’t mind if we drop in?” 

“not at all.” Her beady old eyes darted back and forth between us, still smiling that gapped smile. “you’re one lucky young woman.” 

Gray’s brows furrowed so bad you’d think the old girl had just insulted her. “how do ya figure?”

With a bony knotted hand Gran gestured at me. “ya landed one of the best men in the wasteland, hold tight to him.” 

Blinking her big grey eyes her mouth slid open a fraction. Rendered speechless. Now that was a rarity. 

“what have you got on offer for food?” while Gray figured out how to collect her jaw from the floor, I went back to the reason we were here. 

Gran shouted into the back room. “hey! Charlie! What we got cooking this morning?!”

“Mirelurk eggs and Molerat steak!” 

“that sounds so good right now.” Gray moaned. 

Could practically see her mouth watering from here. “we’ll take a serving of that.”

“no problem, take a seat we’ll get it to ya as soon as it’s done. Ya want a drink?” Gran asked Gray. 

“if you’ve got a beer I could use one.” 

“sure thing here you are my dear.” With a thud the old woman put the bottle down. 

With it Gray and I wondered across the bar to the far side of the room from the guards. Without even asking she took the seat with her back to the corner. Telling her not to be paranoid wasn’t going to get me anywhere so I just sat across from her. With my head leaned against a fist I watched her uncap the bottle on the edge of the table. Take a short drink of it, then sigh in relief. “I needed this….” 

I placed my hand on the table, palm up. “you haven’t been eating or sleeping have you?” 

“I have.” she replied a little defensively. Abandoning the bottle, she let her hand rest in mine. Subconsciously her fingers traced out the metal bones under my skin. Soon found my own fingers caressing the inside of her wrist. “I mean, everybody else thought you were dead. I was the only one that knew otherwise.” 

“they all still think that?” word tended to travel fast in the wasteland, especially when settlements were so close. If Goodneighbor knew about my death then it wouldn’t take long for word to spread. 

Gray stared with half closed eyes at our hands. The corners of her mouth were turned down. “Violet and Macready both think you’re dead, we didn’t have time to tell them before we left. Not sure who else thinks you’re gone. Word might have gotten around but who knows.”

“lets just hope they haven’t decided to foreclose on the office before we get back.” laughing lightly I sat back with an arm over the back of my chair. “wouldn’t that be a nice welcome home? ‘thanks for risking your life to save the commonwealth, now you’re homeless.’”

Smirking she put her chin in her hand. “that’s par for the course as far as McDonough’s concerned.”

“true.” How that pig had gotten reelected without the Institute whispering in his ear I’d never figure out. “tell you what though, I can’t wait to get home. I miss our garden variety corruption and crime.”

“going back to tracking down runaway husbands and dumb teenagers?” 

“the occasional missing stash of caps, chems.”

“don’t forget the missing piece of wood named Spruce.” 

“oh right, Spruce, how could I forget Spruce?” we laughed in unison at the memory. Cases like that were rare and made for good stories. Light hearted cases, with low stakes. None of this complicated bullshit. “I miss the days when you and I could just take a case and it could be that simple.”

“me too.” with her head hung forward her bangs hid her eyes. her hair was shorter than it was before. probably from getting it burned near as I could tell. It looked good. I’d always liked her hair short. 

“Gray, I-” 

Two hands banging on our table cut me clean off. I flinched toward my gun. Luckily my mind caught up as my eyes fell on the red faced guard grinning wetly at us. “well hey there cutie what’s your name?” 

For a second it looked like he’d caught us both by surprise. Gray gaped at him, her own hand half way to her gun. The man was lucky. If he’d pulled a stunt like this anywhere in the commonwealth everyone would have pulled their guns. At the moment he obviously had no idea the danger he was in. 

Especially when he kept talking. “they call me Butch! I’m the best damn shot in this town! you’re a pretty little thing, why haven’t I seen you around?”

My fists clenched. It had been days since Gray and I were together and here he was ruining it. Did he have to flirt with her too? It took everything I had not to get in his face and tell him to walk away. That would just end in a fight that would ruin the night. 

Thankfully I didn’t have to. “what the hell do you think you’re doing Ricky?!” the sharp shrill voice came from the old woman stalking toward us. That glare could stop a Supermutant in his tracks and make him whimper for his mother. 

And Ricky, or Butch or whatever, deflated almost immediately. Over Gran’s shoulder I could see his buddies all laughing over one another. So she turned her glare on them. They all choked on their own tongues with all the dignity of a Molerat. Ricky didn’t look any better when she switched to him. 

Me and Gray were frozen in place, amusement tugged at my lips. There wasn’t anything more satisfying than watching grown men reduced to blubbering idiots by an old woman. Gran produced a pleasant smile as she put a plate of food in front of Gray. “there ya are dear. Let me know if there’s anything else I can get for ya.” 

“uh, thanks.” Gray forced an awkward smile that made mine grow.

Gran then switched to glaring dead in Ricky’s face. he threw his hands up to protect himself but she already had a firm grip on his ear. “as for you sonny, you leave these two alone, they’ve been through enough without you steppin’ in where you ain’t wanted. Get back home to you mother.”

“yes Gran.” While she dragged him toward the door he whimpered miserably. The other guards all cleared out too, leaving behind lively music issuing out of the lone radio on the bar. 

I watched them go over my shoulder with a smirk. That was satisfying. 

“that’s why I love you.”

Brows up, I turned back to Gray who was now staring at her plate of eggs and meat. “what?”

“any other guy would have got right up in his face, told him to go fuck himself then started a bar fight.” Her fork twirled around in the scrambled eggs absently. Her murmured words were soft. “that’s what I love about you. you’re not like other guys. You’re not like any guy I’ve ever met. Just when I think you’re going to turn ordinary you do something like that. you’re the most extraordinary man I know.”

It felt like my heart shaped charger was going to burst out of my chest. With my whole hand, I reached across the table to squeeze her arm. instead she dropped her fork and grabbed me tight in her grip. Our eyes met. “the only reason I’m extraordinary is cause you make me that way.” 

“don’t be ridiculous, you know that isn’t true.” But a smile tugged at her lips and a blush brushed her cheeks. Sheepishly she dropped her head forward. “you’re just extraordinary cause that’s exactly who you are, and who you’ve always been.”

“don’t you think you’re giving me a little too much credit?” 

“not in the slightest.” Confidently she smiled at me then went back to her food. 

While she greedily wolfed down her breakfast silence fell between us. Leaned back I looked around the bar. Nobody was here. Not even Gran. Guess she must have gone in the back or something. the radio kept playing from the bar. It was starting to crescendo so the song was almost over. Did Deven have their own radio station? Hadn’t stopped to think about it till now.

The sound of tinkling metal brought my gaze back to Gray. With a contented soft smile she sat back. “that’s what I needed.”

“better?”

“much.” She quickly chugged the last of her beer then thudded the bottle down. for a minute she didn’t take her eyes off it. “I’m sorry I can’t be the prewar woman you deserve.” 

Whole heartedly I laughed. Loud enough to make her flinch and maybe a bit louder than strictly necessary. “Gray, if that’s what I deserve then that’s not what I want.”

“why are you laughing?”

This time I reached for her face. her warm flushed cheek cupped in my metal hand I smiled crookedly for her benefit. “I wouldn’t have this, or you, any other way.”

“you can’t be serious.” 

“I am serious.” And with all that seriousness I looked her dead in the eye. “I don’t want a mild mannered woman who stays at home baking. I want a partner. Someone I can trust to have my back. Who’s brave enough to face anything life throws at her. And in spite of what she thinks, is genuinely a good person.”

That sheepish little frown pulled her lips down. a crease formed between her brows that usually signaled her frustration. “there’s got to be something you’d change. Just tell me, I’ll do better, I swear.”

“Gray.” Her name turned into a long heavy sigh about half way through it. smoothly I stood up next to the table. The song had changed. It was slow now. the humming made it sound like Sinatra but I didn’t know which song it was yet. “there’s only one thing I want you to change.”

“yes anything.” With wide pleading eyes she looked up to me. 

I extended my hand. “dance with me?”

The blush turned crimson on her cheeks and spread to her ears. Adorably she pursed her lips. Her eyes darted between my face and my hand. eventually she reached out, just as the lyrics of the song began. 

Before she had the chance to rethink it I swept her off her feet and into a smooth slow dance in time with the rhythm of the song. Her hand trembled in mine. I slipped my other around her waist to press her up against my chest. This close I could feel the heat of her blush. If she’d just stop looking at her feet. “Gray stop that, you know how to dance.”

“it’s just been a while ok?”

“look at me.” 

She did. And what I saw there made my jaw drop. There were tears brimming in her grey eyes. fat tears that were about to fall any second. 

“now what are those for?”

Sniffing miserably she let my hand fall to wipe them. So I wrapped it around her waist too. “I – I don’t know. I’m just… so happy.” 

My heart throbbed. 

In the air good old Frank Sinatra sung. _Do my foolish alibis bore you? Well, I'm not too clever; I just adore you._ of course it was this one. 

Those big tears started streaming down her face while I led her into slow, smooth motions. At some point she abandoned trying to stop them and just put her arms around my neck. Arm in arm I was beginning to feel the same thing she did. Good thing I didn’t have tear ducts or this would look terrible to anyone watching. 

“I never meant to leave you.” I whispered. 

Angrily she shook her head. “that’s not why I’m crying you big idiot. I’m crying cause… I didn’t know, but this… this is all I wanted.” She hid her face against my collar, tears soaked right through my shirt. 

The song kept playing. It was almost over now. I wish it was longer. I wish I could make this moment last forever. Just forget everything and stay like this as long as we needed. God knows we earned it. 

But the universe, and Frank Sinatra conspired against us. _yes, I'm unreliable. But it's undeniably true: I'm irresponsibly mad for you._ he finished in a long drone. 

How appropriate. My pocket felt heavy.

“what now?” 

Gray’s question brought my attention to the fact we’d stopped moving. Guess it was hard to dance without music. The ring burned in my pocket. “there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Those big grey eyes found mine. The last of the tears clung for dear life on her eye lashes. “what?”

One of my hands slipped into my pocket. The metal actually felt cold. “Gray, will you-”

“found you.” 

The voice tore us out of our moment and turned us toward the door. There stood Tasha King, decked out in leather armor with small spikes, a heavy machine gun gripped tight in her hand. Now she looked the wastelander she hid inside. At her back stood half a dozen or more guards in their flimsy uniforms and simple weapons. So it’d come to this after all. 

Tasha’s eyes widened when she looked at Vel, then her face became steely and hard. “so Mal was right, she is alive. I don’t know how but if you’re enemies of Mr. Hintzen I can’t let you or your people stay.”

“what are you doing Tasha?” I took a step forward, hand outstretched in front of Gray. She wasn’t exactly diplomatic, I couldn’t afford to let her make this worse. 

“Hintzen told me what you intend to do.” Her gun rose, pointed dead center on my chest. 

Gray groaned under her breath. “why can’t we have an uninterrupted date for once?”

“I won’t let you destroy Deven or him. you’ll leave now or you’ll die.” At a wave of her hand the guards poured in from around her to surround us on all sides. They looked a little uncertain. Tasha had to be working on her own. I couldn’t imagine her being the type to bring in Mal on this. Or that Mal would agree to this. I knew she’d do something like this, but this soon? Damn you Hintzen. 

“listen Tasha, let me explain-”

“no!” her gun didn’t waver with it trained on us. the same cold steely look of determination I’d seen in every wastelander on her face. in her head, we were already dead. “Deven is my home, the only home I’ve ever known and I’ll be damned if I let a couple of outsiders just walk in here and destroy what belongs to me.” 

“you’re threatening my man.” Gray murmured coolly. 

A cold foreboding crept up my spine. Out of the corner of my eye I watched her. she didn’t move, didn’t even sway. Her shoulders were relaxed, her hand on her gun. Face slack. Oh god. 

Tasha narrowed her eyes at Gray, shifting her gun. “you two’ve been planning on destroying Deven since you arrived. Even after Hintzen saved your life?” 

“giving him a little too much credit aren’t you?” she took a step forward.

I caught her arm, trying to hold her back. “gray, calm down, this doesn’t have to turn into a fight.”

“like hell it doesn’t.” she growled tensely under her breath. 

The guards must have sensed the danger rolling off of Gray in droves. They took a hesitant step back, shifting around, exchanging glances. Tasha must have felt it too, at least her wastelander instincts were still intact. Her gun wavered just a little. “I’m warning you. if you don’t leave now we wont hesitate to put you down.”

“if you pull that trigger I’ll kill everyone in this town.”

“Gray!” I snapped.

She span around, for a split second I glimpsed the cool calculating, angry look in her face. the same one she wore every time the bleeding got worse. In the next second it was gone replaced by horror. She knew what had just happened. Oh hell, she was aware of it now.

Tasha sucked in a breath, grabbed Gray by the arm. “grab the machine, we’ll make sure they leave!” 

I had to keep myself from fighting back when the guards surged in. If I could avoid a blood bath by taking a little punishment I would. And mark my words if either Gray or me fought back there would be a blood bath. They grabbed me round the arms hauling me out while Tasha dragged Gray by the arm. “listen! Tasha please! We’re not here to harm Deven! I swear! But Hintzen is-”

“the only reason Deven exists!” she shouted back at me. outside on the dirt road there weren’t any people to watch. Just as well, I doubted the ordinary citizen of Deven would have been able to stomach this. 

Even while I talked I knew how useless words were going to be. Tasha was like any wastelander. Words were cheap and empty. All she needed to know would be that Hintzen had protected Deven for years, and we were outsiders. “you’re trading freedom for slavery.”

“security.” Tasha countered, her voice going just a bit soft.

Gray dug in her heels and forced the group of us to a stop. We were ten feet from the open gate. Just outside I could see a handful of figures standing around talking. It was too much to hope for that Tasha would call this off if there were witnesses. Gray pulled her arm free, glaring up into Tasha’s face. “look, I get it, I know what it’s like to want that safety. But Hintzen is as evil as they come. It’s not worth it.” 

“who are you to tell me what’s worth it and what isn’t?!” with the butt of her gun Tasha slammed Gray in the temple. She went down in the mud, groaning. 

I jerked, tried to tear out of the guard’s grasp but they had good grips. My insides went cold when Tasha pointed her gun down at Gray point blank. Stopped struggling then.

But Gray just stared up at her unflinching. God I love that woman. “it’s not.”

“you can’t possibly understand! Do you have children? A family?! I’ll do anything to protect them!”

“you ain’t the only one!” the roar came a split second before someone slammed hard into Tasha. A tangle of limbs went down into the mud, a red coat, a familiar red white and blue sash. John tangled with Tasha like the wastelander he was. only problem she was almost as good. They exchanged blows one after another. A tooth flew out of the fray along with streams of blood. All the while Hancock screamed into her face. “that’s my kid you’re threatening you bitch! I’ll make you pay for this! You shoulda stayed at home!”

“John! Don’t kill her!” I yelled. The guards dropped my arms backing up. They looked pale, unlike Tasha they didn’t have the stomach for this sort of thing, not for real combat. Growing up in Deven made them soft. I reached Gray just in time to help her to her feet.

She looked shaken, shocked, I knew it had nothing to do with being threatened. Hell that happened every day. “he called me….”

“I’ll kill you!” Tasha got herself free. With outstretched hands she flung herself across the ground. Too late I saw what she was going for.

John saw it though. When she span the machine gun at him he landed on top of her. they fought over the gun. Groaned, grunted, till four shots went off. Gray and I lurched forward, the coolant pumped loud and fast between my ears. This couldn’t have gone worse. 

From the inn I spotted Mal running. He looked stricken, probably couldn’t believe what was happening before his eyes. Tasha had better not be dead or we could count our asses out. 

Gray got there first, she tugged John off Tasha then froze. “no….” 

John grinned, blood on his teeth. “s-sorry kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a terrible human being sometimes, 
> 
> have a good week!! Write on!


	29. The Storm

“No, No, no, somebody get a stim!!” Hancock felt like a skeleton in my arms. There was hardly enough meat on his bones to mention. The blood though, there was a lot of it. he coughed once and a stream of it poured over his front onto his frock. My hand scrambled with his stomach. Too many bullet holes, I couldn’t stop it all. He jerked. “just hang in there, just hang on.”

“Tasha! What the hell is going on?!” 

“Mal, I was trying to pro-”

I ignored them. I didn’t care. Whatever was going to happen to her didn’t matter to me. already Hancock’s eyes were fluttering shut. Nick knelt across from me, face grim. “please tell me you have a stim, a bandage, anything! Nick please!” 

Slowly he shook his head. “I’m-I’m sorry Gray….”

“No!” I tried to gather my legs up under me, to haul Hancock up. They just wobbled and collapsed instead. Tears stung in my eyes. Not like this. Not Hancock. “come on! You old man! you’re supposed to die in Goodneighbor! What the hell are-”

“quiet.” He muttered thinly, you could hear his breath rattling around inside his chest. My heart crawled up into my throat. “don’t – make me regret this kiddo.” 

Sobbing I held him tight to my chest. My hand didn’t do a god damn thing to stop the bleeding. It just kept coming. Shot in the stomach. Even if we got him back to the hospital there’d be nothing they could do. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry dad, I’m sorry.” 

“ain’t your fault.” His voice barely came out above a murmur, so quiet if my ear wasn’t right up next to him I’d never hear him. “y-ya did good.” 

“just hang on, please.” My shoulders shook with sobs. This couldn’t be happening. Scott, Photon Magnolia now this?! Not Hancock too. This damn war had already taken too much! Nick’s hand found my shoulder, trying to hold me steady. It didn’t do much of anything when I could feel his trembling too. 

Hancock smiled slightly, his lips quivered with the effort, stained all red with his own blood. His black eyes opened just wide enough to look up at me. his mouth opened and closed a couple of times soundlessly. 

“wh-what are you saying?” I blubbered, grasping him tight. “I don’t understand.”

“he’s saying I’m sorry.” Nick answered quietly. 

Hancock’s lips softened into a slight smile before, slowly his eyes fluttered closed one last time. 

I wanted to scream, I wanted to tear something apart, I wanted to throw myself into the nearest Supermutant and fight it bear handed. Instead I collapsed over Hancock’s limp body. The blood soaked right through my shirt and matted my hair but I didn’t give a rat’s ass. Hancock couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t be. Not after everything we’d been through. If I hadn’t brought him here, if I hadn’t insisted Nick was alive, maybe he’d have survived. Had I traded Nick for my own dad?

Nick’s arms wrapped tight around my shoulders, trying to hold me steady. His voice broke whispering in my ear. “come on, Gray there’s nothing you can do. He’s… he’s gone.” 

“no.” I moaned into Hancock’s bloody chest. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. We were supposed to beat the bad guy and go home all of us. it wasn’t supposed to go like this! 

“I’m sorry.” An unfamiliar voice spoke over our heads. 

Tears blood and mud on my face I looked up at a dark skinned man with a tight face. Mal I supposed. At some distance Tasha was being dragged away. The strange part I didn’t hate her. she’d just been trying to protect her home, any of us would have done the same. But why did it have to be Hancock?! Bitterly I dropped my gaze back to the ghoul. “shut the hell up and leave me alone.”

“Gray, we should get him off the street.” Nick murmured gently in my ear. 

“I know…. I know.” 

“I’ll lend a hand.”

I wasn’t expecting the voice so it took me all of five seconds to realize where I’d heard it. jaw hanging I looked up at Daisy standing beside us. “wh-what are you doing here?!”

“I trade with Deven every other month. Lets get Hancock inside somewhere.” 

“there’s a hospital on the other side of Deven, we’ll take him there.” Nick rose, speaking in a voice that sounded a hell of a lot stronger than I felt. I was grateful though, I’m not sure I could have been able to issue orders like that. 

When Nick and Daisy reached for Hancock I slapped her hand away in a burst of sudden terror. He knelt down at my side, hand on my shoulder. “it’s going to be ok gray, we’re just going to take him back, nothing’s going to happen to him.”

Swallowing hard I nodded and let go of Hancock’s soaked shirt. 

Nick and Daisy lifted Hancock from the ground together. I wanted to help, except my damn legs could barely carry my weight. The guards were all gone, Tasha out of sight, fucking good. Only Mal still stood around, watching at a short distance with a heavy expression. It’d be easy to blame him for this but I couldn’t. maybe more of Nick rubbing off on me. 

That woman did us a favor didn’t she? It’s about-

“shut the hell up.” I growled out loud to cut off the voice. To my surprise it worked. At least for the moment. 

Together we made our way across Deven back to the hospital where Fahrenheit herself was resting. Just inside we found Ellison sitting in a couch with a faraway expression. Which sharpened when she saw us. “oh my god! Is that?!”

“there should be an empty room over here.” Nick grunted, ignoring Ellison entirely. He and Daisy carried Hancock down the hall to a door on their left. 

Ellison grabbed my hand gently turning me to face her. “what happened?” 

I shook my head, the tears were still coming. 

“that doesn’t-”

Over her shoulder I caught sight of Fahrenheit walking down the stairs. She looked like shit, with a bandage over her eye. Still as fierce as ever though. She came up short when she spotted me. “what happened?” 

The bottom of my stomach fell out entirely. Bile crawled up my throat along with a fresh wave of sobs. “I’m sorry Fahrenheit, I’m so sorry, it was my fault, he’s dead cause of me.”

For a split second it looked like I’d slapped her across the face. her eyes went wide while the pieces slid into place in her head. in the next second she was in my face, slapping me hard. “pull it together girl! You’ve got a responsibility now!” 

“wh-what?” my cheek stung a little, not enough to wash out the pain in my chest. 

Her eyes hardened. “he didn’t sacrifice himself just for you to lose it now. Pull your thumb out.” With that she raced toward the door Daisy and Nick just stepped out of. 

Shakily I made to follow. My footsteps just turned into awkward shambling up the hall. Ellison stayed behind. Daisy had her head forward, frowning on the ground. That was the most real emotion I’d ever seen out of the woman. I’d started wondering if she could take anything seriously. Fahrenheit swept passed Nick into the room, leaving him standing there with slouched shoulders. 

“we should get you cleaned up.” He murmured hollowly when he saw me coming. 

I shook my head. “I – don’t want to leave him.” 

“I know.” Thankfully he didn’t try to stop me from going inside. 

They laid him on a table at the back of the room. It looked like maybe it was supposed to be a break room or something. Nobody around just tables and chairs and a half eaten meal on a counter. Fahrenheit stood beside Hancock, her back to me, whispering something urgently to his dead ears. “I hope you two find each other….” 

Saying sorry felt like it would just get me slapped again so silently I slid up to her side. Seeing his slack face again, the peaceful scarred look, fresh tears started coming again. Fists clenched I leaned over the table, desperately screwing my eyes shut to stop the tears. A rough hand rubbed me across the shoulders. The closest thing Fahrenheit knew how to comfort. 

“ya know what he’d be sayin right now.”

“I know.” I murmured heavily. 

“who’s the bastard that did it?” 

I shook my head. “it doesn’t matter.” 

She took in a sharp breath. 

Then Nick appeared on her other side, shaking his head. “Mal dealt with it.” 

“fine.” 

All our eyes landed back on Hancock. Yeah I knew what he’d say if he saw this. He’d call us all pussies then challenge Nick or Fahrenheit to a chess match. He’d try to play all on his own for a bit then try to pop a Mentat while he thought nobody was looking to give himself an edge. Then act all gracious about losing anyway while he drank a couple beers. Share stories. Laugh. Exchange insults. He’d call me kiddo and – and. More sobs tore out of my throat. 

Nick folded me up in his arms. I span and buried myself in his chest. My hands balled up in his shirt, holding on for dear life. His fingers stroked slowly down my back and across my scalp. “we’ll get through this.” 

“no more….” I whispered hoarsely. 

“what?”

Swallowing hard I sat back to stare him in the eye. “no more people are going to die. We’re going to take Hintzen down and go home. All of us.” 

Jaw set, he nodded.

“we need a plan first.” Fahrenheit reached up to Hancock’s face and slowly slid his eye lids closed. Then went about straightening his limbs and laying his hands over his stomach. “storming in and killing him didn’t work the first time.” 

“I have a plan.” Nick spoke softly. He span on a heel and stalked back toward the door. 

Fahrenheit and I exchanged glances then followed. One last time I glanced back at Hancock lying there, motionless. I’d grieve. There was no denying that, and it’d suck. But for right now I had to put this aside as best I could. 

Ya know, I could help with that.

Out in the hall Nick had Ellison and Daisy in conversation. Neither of them looked very good but judging by their sympathetic looks I looked a hell of a lot worse. “can you do it for us Daisy?” Nick finished.

She nodded. “it’s the least I can do for the old guy. What about you four?” 

“we need to finish what we started here.” 

“I’ve given that some thought.” Ellison put in feebly. There wasn’t a trace of her usually manic genius in her voice any more. She sounded just a little more dead inside than before. “even if we kill Hintzen in the body that he’s occupying he’ll simply upload himself right? but only if his mainframe is still operational.” 

“can you do it?” Nick asked. 

“yes.” The shortest affirmative I’d ever heard the woman give in my life. She really was hurting too. 

“good, then take Fahrenheit with you and Gray and I will run a distraction.” 

“whatever you’re planning you’d better be careful. I’m not losing anyone else out here.” Fahrenheit growled sharply. 

Nick slowly looked up to meet my eyes. “we’ll try.”

When Nick said distraction I’d been hoping for something a bit smarter than this. We stood in the dimly lit tunnel under the lab. The glow of my Pipboy display was our only light and it wasn’t exactly comforting. The green glow only went so far and made everything earie and creepy. I expected something nasty with a lot of teeth to come walking out of the darkness any second now. or a robot, one or the other. 

“are you sure about this?” I murmured, to my own ears my voice sounded hoarse. It felt like the sobs would start any second now.

“they need a distraction.” Nick leaned against the wall directly opposite me reloading the magnum. It was a little weird to see him without his pipe revolver. But then I guess that had been lost for good this time. 

“yeah but are you sure the robots won’t kill us?” I jabbed a finger at the ladder that lead up into the lab. We’d already had to kill a couple of bots to get into position. That wasn’t a good sign. “what if Hintzen doesn’t care about toying with us? What if he’s had enough. Are we getting turned to paste?”

“you’re getting turned to paste, I’m getting turned to scrap.” 

“don’t joke like that….”

With a flick of his wrist the cylinder snapped back into place. That face was steely when he looked at me. “I know him. He’s not done. As far as he’s concerned, he won’t be content until we’re both too broken to fight anymore. His robots won’t kill us. So long as we aren’t stupid about it.” 

“that’s not really comforting Nick.” 

“I know, sorry Gray.” He didn’t exactly sound sorry.

Gun gripped in both hands I looked back to the ladder. The timer on my Pipboy ticked by. Not long now. just a couple seconds. “Nick maybe I should do it. you’ve already been through enough.” 

“unless you’ve got one hell of an argument, I’m not leaving you again.” I felt him step to my side. The slight vibration of his inner workings sent a wave of comfort through me. 

You’re in trouble.

Shut up.

He’s waiting for you up there you know that. 

We’ll be fine.

No you won’t. you’re not strong enough for this. let me take over. If you do that then maybe you and your clockwork boyfriend will make it out of this alive.

Unless you’ve got something constructive to say, shut the fuck up. 

The offer still stands. He’ll stand a much better chance of surviving if he has me at his side. Hell of a lot better chance than Hancock did.

Maybe she was right

Then the timer went off.

He went ahead of me, climbing up the ladder into the boiler room. this was how we’d escaped, and how Nick got in before that. so of course it was guarded. There went Nick’s legs as he clambered up into the room above. I went next. Already gunfire and laser shots drifted down to me. hard to count how many guns were firing. Too many. 

Finally I got to the top only to go blind for a few seconds. they had a damn floodlight trained on the entrance. Pain blasted through my head forcing me to retreat. Then a clawed hand reached in and grabbed me by the back of the shirt. It lifted me clean out of the hole then tossed me on the ground. My shoulder banged hard on the concrete floor. I bit my cheek to keep from crying out. The momentum carried me a few feet, I rolled a couple more just to be safe before coming out of it. 

When I found my feet the blood drained from my face. it was worse than I thought. There were half a dozen Assaultrons in the room, all lit up like Christmas trees, red faces pointed at me. next to the hatch lay Nick, pinned to the ground by a foot on the back. he grunted, squinting up at me. “Gray run!”

“don’t.” the smooth tenor voice of Hintzen split the air like a gunshot. He stood over Nick. It was his foot that kept him down. I threw my gun up but the mad scientist raised a finger. “didn’t you learn your lesson the last time? That won’t work. now put the gun down.”

“don’t listen to him! just run he’s- ah!” 

Hintzen’s foot crunched loudly on Nick’s shoulder. metal whined, servos exploded under his skin, bits of metal poked through his clothes. 

Gritting my teeth I let my gun fall. “stop it! just stop it!” 

Thankfully Hintzen let up, to my astonishment. He even lifted his foot off Nick, leaving him to crumple up around his shoulder. “this is only a formality since I have your recall code but, do you surrender?”

Formality was right. even if I shot him before he said it he’d just say it over the damn speakers. Damn it. this was what terrified me. when someone had it they had total control. Even if they didn’t say it. defeat tasted like shit in my mouth as I tossed him my gun. 

He caught it, holding it loosely in his hand. “bring them both back to the memory room.” 

Two Assaultrons hauled Nick to his feet, hands firmly set behind his back. he was clearly in pain. The shoulder looked bad. I had to wonder if he could even use his hand. as Hintzen strode toward me, he put a guiding hand on my shoulder. it made my skin crawl and my stomach churn. “don’t you dare touch her!” Nick snarled.

Hintzen just glanced over his shoulder. that skeleton face gave nothing away, except his eyes seemed to shimmer with amusement. “I don’t know what makes you think you have a say prototype.” 

It took all my willpower not to push Hintzen away. Every second that damn hand was on me it made me want to vomit. My gun was in his other hand. if I was quick enough I could take it and shoot him. 

With all those Assaultrons behind you?

When we were alone then.

Do you really think you’re fast enough?

I wasn’t, not with this damn hesitation. 

Hintzen lead us through a hole in the wall back into his labs proper. Like walking through a portal we left the decay and dust behind. Some of the Assaultrons split off into separate corridors but the two still had Nick. I glanced back at him, hoping for some kind of reassurance or at least an idea. There was nothing in those yellow eyes. That look was so dark it made my heart go cold. Were we in that much trouble? Or was he putting on a show?

“my condolences by the way.” Hintzen spoke once were inside his lab. 

I gritted my teeth. “shut the hell up.”

“losing your father must have been quite the blow. Although, he wasn’t your father was he?” just kept at it, the bastard. “he didn’t react well when he found out that you replaced his daughter did he?”

“at least I had a family, even a fake one.” I snarled then smirked. “sorry for taking Jimmy from you.”

“no matter, I’ll have him replaced soon.” 

The way he said it left my insides feeling cold. 

It wasn’t until we were outside the room that I knew where we were going. It was the room I’d found Nick in, with the memory chair and computers. This time there wasn’t any Protectron waiting for us, only a hood hung over the chair now. “I won’t let you do that to him again.” I growled in as menacing a voice as I could manage. 

Hintzen didn’t even look at me. his hand tightened on my shoulder, almost painfully. “he isn’t the one going in the chair I’m afraid.”

“what?” 

With a violent shove he pushed me into the chair. I stumbled over the arm rests, the breath left me in a rush. “tie her down.” 

Turning I had just enough time to dodge the Assaultrons charging me before they crashed into me. I dived out of the way, one caught my leg. I hit the concrete floor hard, wincing as they dragged me back. “let go! You fuckers! Get your hands off me!”

“struggle all you want, no one is coming to save you.” Hintzen shook his head while he placed both our guns beside the terminal.

They caught me by the wrists. With painful tugs they forced me back to my feet then into the chair. I kept trying to fight but their strength was more than I could handle. Soon they were closing the clasps on my wrists to keep me in place. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nick leap at Hintzen, swinging a hard well aimed punch into the side of his face. “jokes on you! we’ve still got friends out there!” 

When he went to swing another punch Hintzen caught it in a tight fist. “is that what you want to believe? They left Deven almost an hour ago. my robots saw them go.”

Nick clenched his teeth. “liar. They wouldn’t leave us.”

“they must have lied to you, observe.” With one hand still wrapped around Nick’s Hintzen reached over and typed a few quick commands on the terminal. The screen flickered for a second until it showed a bird’s eye view of the streets leading out of Deven. There was Daisy and her Brahmin, just as we’d planned. Two bundled bodies riding on top. But there, walking with her was Ellison and Fahrenheit. 

Nick’s face fell, shock and horror racing in to fill it. “they… wouldn’t….” 

“love, such a human thing.” Suddenly Hintzen had him by the neck, hauling him clean off his feet against the wall. Nick didn’t have any throat to strangle but he stilled gagged out of surprise. His arm dangled uselessly while he gripped Hintzen with the other. “you’ve clung so tightly to humanity over the years. you’ve gone so far as to make additions to your own body to emulate it.”

“shut up!” I snarled from the chair. The Assaultrons were finished, now standing behind me against the wall. “he is human! He’s not pretending you piece of shit!” 

It seemed like he was ignoring me, too preoccupied with Nick now. “the truth is we built a lot of functions into your body that has no real purpose other than to imitate life. Your breathing, created by a compressor in your chest. Those aches you wake up with, pre programmed to appear at random. Your mouth,” his grip went from Nick’s neck to his jaw. “is a useless mechanism, you don’t actually require it to speak.” 

“are you done talking? Or are you going to bore me to death?” Nick muttered out. 

“let me show you what I mean.” With his other hand Hintzen grabbed Nick around the face. his other rammed into his mouth, breaking teeth and metal as it went. A scream like I’d never heard tore out of Nick’s chest. Skin stretched then began to tear. Hintzen took it slow.

“stop it!” tears sprung to my eyes. the restraints bit deep into my wrists while I struggled. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go down. Nick wasn’t supposed to get hurt any more. “stop it! let him go! You’ve proven your point! Damn it stop!” 

If you had just listened to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Nick kept on screaming. His legs kicked and thrashed uselessly, his metal fingers gouged out bits of metal from Hintzen’s hand but it didn’t matter. Skin kept tearing. Metal kept breaking until finally with a terrible pop his jaw came off. Hintzen dropped him like a sack of Tatos. He lay there on the ground curled up. 

“go on now.” Hintzen sounded so amused. He dangled the jaw in front of Nick, like a toy with a dog. “speak.”

Silence. Nick held a hand over his mouth, trembling. 

I couldn’t look. It was too terrible to even watch. So instead I glared through the tears at Hintzen. “I’m going to kill you.”

“you won’t be in control for much longer.” Like it was just a piece of trash he dropped Nick’s jaw on the floor beside him. in two strides he was beside me, putting that damn hood down over my head. 

“what are you going to do to me huh? Erase me like you did Magnolia?” in spite of my hard tone my palms were sweating. 

“that would be a waste, you’re too talented to wipe out.” With the hood secured over my face he walked back to the terminal. 

Nick slid himself slowly to a sitting position. The trembling had stopped though he still held a hand to his torn face. between his fingers I could see inside his skull like never before. all those wires and tubes. It was almost worse than looking at a dismembered corpse. When he spoke his voice came out glitchy and weirdly high pitched. “wh-what are you doing?” 

“see? Your jaw was entirely for cosmetic purposes.” Hintzen typed in a few commands then turned to face us. “you took something from me. James Murtagh was but an angry wild child when I first met him. it was thanks to me that he grew into a man worthy of carrying out my orders.”

“so sorry about the death.” I muttered sarcastically. “where do I send the flowers?” 

“he was my right hand, my partner. But since you killed him, I feel it’s only fitting to take yours from you and make her mine.” 

Nick’s eyes widened. All the dots connected in his head several seconds before they did in mine. 

When they finally did my limbs went numb. “you can’t… you don’t know what that’ll do….”

“I have a feeling that you and I will make excellent partners. After all, power will be your greatest motivation.” One of his metal fingers hovered over the enter button. “and besides, I have your code. And that knowledge will keep you from turning on me.”

“Nick!” I screamed leaning over my knees. “please! Don’t let him do this! say the code! Knock me out! Please I’m begging you!”

His yellow eyes stared right back at me. they weren’t flickering. After all the damage I thought for sure they would be. Instead he stared steadily back at me. his voice was soft. “I’m sorry Gray, I can’t….”

“why not?!”

“that’s quite enough.” Hintzen pressed the button.

Lights played across my vision. My body went rigid, my spine arched. It felt like someone had let loose fireworks inside my brain. It was never like this with the memory loungers. Maybe they were supposed to be gentler. That made sense. I could actually feel parts of me opening up. All those memories Amari had worked so hard to lock away. Everything that Rush had done to me filled my mind. all that rage and loathing. It filled my chest until there wasn’t any room for anything else. 

All at once it stopped. With a long drawn breath I felt calm fall over me. Feeling flooded my limbs. It was like waking up for the first time. Sensations crowded around to be felt first. The cold metal under my fingers. The sounds of motors. The taste of the last meal I had eaten. I felt everything but for some reason I couldn’t command any of my limbs. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t open my eyes.

My body took in a long breath on its own. Words slipped out in a tone that I’d never thought I’d hear out loud. “Well, this should be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one that has been struggling with motivation for like a week? 
> 
> Have a good week all! Till then write on!


	30. I'm a Detective

“Well, this should be fun.”

That voice barely belonged to Gray. It sounded like her, but it was laced with a kind of arrogance she didn’t even possess. The thing wearing the face of the woman I loved, sat up in the chair. Her fingers flexed. She popped her ankles with a couple of twists. She rolled her neck around. Testing out the new body.

Hintzen stepped away from the terminal and our guns. My eyes darted toward them. I could probably reach them fast enough. But the Assaultrons would fill me full of holes before I had the chance to fire. Besides that it wasn’t time. We had to wait to kill Hintzen. I just hoped this psycho had just enough Gray in her to turn out on our side. 

“hello Miss O'Malley.” With a hand Hintzen raised the hood from Gray’s head. He didn’t go for the restraints I noticed. “it is O'Malley isn’t it?”

Sharp eyes gave him a once over. Like one of Gray’s looks only somehow more intense. She sized him up in fewer seconds than it would take me or Gray. “Vel will be fine, Samuel right? mind if I call you Sammy?” 

“I do actually….” He growled menacingly. 

With brows up she scanned the room. an innocent enough gesture. Then her gaze fell on me and a smile split her face that sent shivers down my metal spine. “I see you’ve had some fun with my pet over there. I have to say, I’m not sure I can abide someone else butchering him.” 

Dismissively Hintzen waved his hand. “don’t worry, it can easily be repaired.” 

“for someone like you I’m sure.” She tried to move but discovered her hands bound. Just another show it had to be. Unless things were worse than I thought. The other one had been predictable. Something told me this one wasn’t going to be. “why don’t you take these things off Sammy? If you weren’t a robot I’d joke about your fetishes.” 

“I can’t have you wondering around until I know you’ve made the right decision.” With arms folded loosely he stood in front of her, just a few feet from me, and further from the guns. It was like he was just begging me to go for them. 

The woman, Vel, crossed her legs. Only half her lips turned up. “ah I see. You brought me out to join you. What reason would I have to ever join up with your side over anyone else’s?” 

“you are not a foolish woman Vel, don’t pretend otherwise. There are no sides here, there are only winners and losers. Those that control the masses and the masses.” Political bullshit if I’d ever heard it. and Nick had plenty of memories of speeches just as bad. 

It wasn’t fooling Vel either. If you were to judge the situation by her expression alone you might think she had everything well in hand. that wasn’t comforting. “you’re right about one thing, I’m not a fool. You didn’t just put Gray in a box, you let me keep her memories. So I’m fully aware of who you are and what your games are.” 

“with all due respect, the girl wasn’t capable of understanding my motivations. I have a feeling you have the same motivations.”

“I’d like to think of them as ambitions.” She shrugged. 

“power.”

“go on.”

Hintzen clearly thought he’d hooked her. That hungry look on her face convinced me too. she was really about to turn on me. there was nothing I could do to stop it. He spread his arms wide, like some kind of damn showman. “that’s what you want isn’t it? Control over everyone. I can give that to you.”

“I’m not particularly concerned with everyone, just a select few.” Her ice cold eyes fell on me then. Something sparked behind her gaze. Her expression was even hungrier than before. what the hell was going on in her head?

“what do you want then? I’m willing to make a deal with you.” his hands fell. Business as usual. 

While they talked I inched my way further from the door toward the other wall. If I put enough distance between me and Hintzen I could definitely reach my gun. Two bullets to the brain and chest each. That’s all it would take. I left that many rounds in the cylinder on purpose. Then I’d have to deal with Vel. Whichever side she decided to go with. That meant using the code. But even when she was like this it felt wrong. 

“splendid. For starters I want the commonwealth.” Vel continued confidently, like it wasn’t an insane request. “the way I see it, you’ve got nobody and no one left there to work for you. now you may not care about it anymore, having had your fun with the detectives, but I do. It’s about time I showed the commonwealth what true power looks like.” 

“you’re right, I have few resources left in the commonwealth after recent events.” A wave of satisfaction went through me at his words. Well done us. “but I have enough that I could help you take over Goodneighbor. Once you have that, you could potentially spread throughout the commonwealth on a grander scale.”

Pursing her lips she contemplated that for a moment. It sounded like a good deal, even to me. John was gone, so the only person standing in her way would be Fahrenheit. She wouldn’t just hand over Goodneighbor that easily, not to anybody. Least of all to this psycho. But I had a feeling Vel wanted a fight with them. Even with all of Gray’s memories in her head she was still as sadistic as ever. 

“well do we have a deal?” Hintzen finally questioned.

“not quite yet, one more thing. I want Valentine.” She nodded in my direction. Of course she did.

Hintzen actually laughed. It sounded more like the kind of laugh an emotionally dead uncle would give at a family reunion. “no. that won’t be happening. I built it, it belongs to me now. If you want Goodneighbor, then you’re going to have to accept that.” 

Letting out a long airy sigh, Vel nodded. Like she agreed. “well it was worth a shot. fine. You’ve got yourself an ally Sammy. Now, mind unlocking these so we can shake on it?” 

“if you agree to stop calling me Sammy.” He growled.

Deeply she rolled her eyes. “fine, fine, whatever. Doctor was it?” 

With a button press the latches on her wrists came free. Almost immediately she leapt to her feet, stretching her arms high to the ceiling. “this is nice, I could get used to this. things aren’t so fun when all you can do is spectate.” 

“I’d like very much to interview you about the experience you had while inside the woman’s mind. I’m sure it’s fascinating.” Patiently Hintzen stood back waiting for Vel to stop with her gloating. It made me sick, parading around in that body like it was a trophy. I was finally against the other wall. 

“I’m sure you would, but later. We’ve got some business to conclude.” Her arms fell back to her sides and she jabbed a thumb toward me. “are you aware he’s been inching toward his gun this entire time?”

His angry red eyes snapped to me and I just gave a unsympathetic shrug. 

Vel waltzed to the terminal where she picked up her gun and slid it into her holster. Next she picked up the magnum, admiring it with a slight smile. “Magnolia certainly had good taste. She did everything before Gray did. Goodneighbor, this gun, you.” she pointed it at me.

I expected Hintzen to step in to protect his prize but he just stayed right where he was. Maybe he thought she wouldn’t actually kill me. I was no longer so sure. That glint in her eye made me tense. Instead of stormy they looked dead, like stone or concrete. 

“you’ve certainly made things interesting. Its partly thanks to you that I’m here at all. If she didn’t love you so much she wouldn’t have any reason to give in. but she did.” Gradually she crossed toward me. every step made clean crisp clicking sounds. Like a counter, ticking by. “when you were gone she almost lost it. you should see what she did to Jimmy and Atwood. Every time she slipped it was because she was trying to protect you. she was never strong enough to keep you safe, she realized that at the end.”

“she’s stronger than you know.” Speaking without a jaw felt weird but I always knew I could. Hintzen hadn’t needed to go this far to make that point. 

Vel knelt down in front of me, the magnum held loose in her hand, dangled in front of me. “if it’s any consolation she’s still in here. Bit quieter than before. I’m sure she won’t mind if I have a bit of fun with you.” 

“that’s enough Vel, back away.” Hintzen called quietly to her. 

Smiling she stood back up and faced him. the magnum was right there. I could grab it and kill him before the Assaultrons could react. But then how to deal with Vel? I doubted she’d just let me walk out of here. And besides that I couldn’t leave her. Gray was still in there. Amari could save her. How I was getting her back to Goodneighbor, I had no idea. I just had to. 

“there’s one thing I want to ask you Hintzen before we continue.” 

“more questions?” clearly he thought it was a waste of time. Why shouldn’t he? Vel was still a low life wastelander according to him. 

Vel didn’t even react, except to slide her finger from the trigger guard to the trigger. “you’ve been toying with the detectives for years now. were you the one that helped Rush and Irma create me?”

His shoulders squared. If an inhuman face could be prideful that one certainly was. “I gave Rush the resources and Irma, he was the one that made you.”

“so you toyed with him, to get to her and to toy with me?” had to hand it to her, she kept her voice neutral, while her finger tightened on the trigger. 

Hintzen didn’t notice. He wasn’t used to the subtle changes in a wastelander when they were getting angry. He still thought he had the upper hand, but that was rapidly shifting around. “I did, is that a problem?”

“no, no problem at all.” With a side step she looked down at me. those stone cold eyes didn’t have a single human emotion in them. If I didn’t know any better I thought she’d shoot me and have done with it. “well… we’ve had a good run.”

I forced myself not to react.

“if you’ll follow my Assaultrons, they can show you to accommodations. I have business to finish with the prototype.” Hintzen strode forward. 

“what sort of business?” Vel asked curiously, shifting until she stood between me and the madman. “I’d like to know exactly what you have planned for it.”

“that’s none of your concern. Perhaps you should plan how you will take over Goodneighbor and leave me to my experiments.” He tried to step around her but she stepped in his way again. Now he paused, looking her up and down. “what is this?”

“I just want to know what you’re plans are.” Hands splayed she shrugged unapologetically. 

His eyes flashed. “that isn’t your concern. Step aside.”

“no.”

“are you trying to protect him in some misguided way?”

“not in the slightest, I don’t care how much pain he goes through, I just want to be the one to inflict it.” subtly she shifted her grip on the magnum. The barrel in her hand, the grip pointed at me. 

“maybe I need to put you back in the chair. It’s clear there’s work to be done on you.” he reached toward her.

“no one’s going to touch my mind.” the gun slipped from her hand. as it fell she rolled to the side, coming up on a knee with her gun pointed at the Assaultrons. She put down one in the time it took me to swipe the magnum out of thin air.

With one good hand my aim was shit. Didn’t matter at this close range. It wasn’t time yet. Vel was putting everything at risk. If this failed because she couldn’t distract him long enough…. Well one way or another I’d have to figure out a way to kill her. First get her out of Gray’s head. Hintzen took a step forward before I blew apart his kneecap. he overbalanced, crashing to the floor in front of me. 

“you fool! You can’t beat me! you’ve never been able to beat me!” he screamed. 

Viciously I kicked at his head, making him jerk. With room to spare I forced myself to stand. The shoulder still hurt, so did my jaw. Not bad enough to keep me down. Vel was fighting with one of the Assaultrons, recklessly going close quarters with the thing. She ducked a swipe, kicked the robot’s leg. It dropped, face beginning to blossom with red. 

“move it!” I tried to grab her.

Too late. The laser burst from the face plate, crashing into Vel at point blank range. The flash forced me to look away. Heat tickled my skin. When it was gone I looked back, expecting to find Vel dead on the ground. Instead she stood with her back to the thing. The jacket had done its work again, absorbing nearly all of the blast. “that wasn’t very nice.” She swung the butt of her gun hard into the Assaultron’s face. the faceplate came loose. 

I fired into it, the head actually came clean off the body, smashing against the wall with a crunch. Vel stood up, smirking at me. the other Assaultron was already dead. her gun shot up. I dodged out of her way just in time before she fired. I looked back just as the bullet tore apart Hintzen’s arm. he screamed.

“well, well, all that talk about clinging to my humanity but you’ve been able to feel pain this whole time?” 

“he was about to shoot you with finger lasers or something, I thought you wouldn’t appreciate that.” Vel shrugged while she reloaded her gun.

Hintzen cradled his pulverized hand. his mechanical parts were all beginning to tremble with the stress. “you’ll never escape. My army will hunt you down and destroy you both. If you kill me I’ll just transfer to a new body.” 

“I thought there might be a trick to your… trick.” Smooth Nick, real smooth. 

Vel sat comfortably in the chair, admiring her gun. I eyed her, and it, carefully. There was every possibility that she could turn on me at any second. When that happened, not if, I had to be ready. This had been a massive gamble. 

“you can’t run the risk of a second one of you running around the wasteland, can you? You know that would lead to war between you. so you’ve put in contingencies to prevent it.” with the magnum held loose in my hand I leaned up against the console, smirking at Hintzen glitching out on the floor.

“lucky guess….” Hintzen growled. 

“I’m a detective, we don’t guess.” Smirking, or at least half smirking with the bottom half of my face missing, I leaned forward. “you can’t put yourself in a new body until we kill this one. so the way I see it, we’ve got some time to talk.”

“not that much.” Vel pointed her gun at the door. “one of those tricks you mentioned is probably a silent alarm. I give us three minutes before we’ve got robots up the ass, so better get a move on.”

“she’s right. every robot under my command is surging toward us. They will destroy you.” 

“gloating Samuel, really? Strip away all your toys and all you are is another megalomaniac.” It was a little disappointing. There he was. The man that had haunted me since the moment I fell into the wasteland. Hell from the moment they booted me up. “in a weird way, I’m grateful to you. if you hadn’t built me, Nick Valentine would have died with all the rest of the people when the bombs hit. And I’d never met Gray.”

“how sweet.” Groaning from the effort, he tried to stand. 

But Vel shot him in the stomach. he cried out and collapsed. I gave her an exasperated look. “oh… we’re not doing the good cop bad cop thing?”

Silently I shook my head. 

“fine.” Innocently shrugging, she looked back at the door. “I’ll just stay out of it then.”

I switched my gaze back to Hintzen. He stared up at me, gripping his side like it bled. Maybe that was some kind of human reaction. Just a little bit of humanity he couldn’t scrub out. I couldn’t imagine what would drive anyone to try and destroy what made them human. Not that this guy had much human to begin with. “just one question Samuel, before I finally put an end to your evil reign. Why me? Why Nick Valentine?”

This time when he laughed it was filled with mirth. With each huff his eyes lit a little brighter. While he laughed he shifted himself back into a sitting position against the wall. “that was always your favorite question. as soon as you understood what was going on you’d ask that every day. Why me?”

“get on with it, answer me.” 

He breathed a long sigh, which sounded more like a flood of static on a speaker. “I’ll say to you the same thing I said all those years ago. You probably want to hear that we chose you for a reason. That there was something special about you that we were looking for. That you were unique in some way that made you a perfect candidate.”

“I’m not an idiot.” I replied bitterly.

“you said the same thing before. The truth is we didn’t have a choice.” Painfully he leaned forward, almost eagerly. “the program that detective Valentine submitted for was legitimate. It was part of an experimental treatment to deal with PTSD. They were supposed to make more scans but as it turned out they never got the chance.”

“so he wasn’t lied to?” not that it was much, but that put my mind at ease a little. at least this didn’t start with Nick being tricked into giving up his mind. it had really meant to help him. even if that poor bastard died not long after.

“no, he wasn’t. the program never got off the ground, the bombs fell twelve days later. Nick Valentine was only one of a few scans that were made.” It sounded like he had the whole damn thing memorized. “when I proposed implanting our minds into synth bodies we needed test subjects. I discovered Valentine’s scan deep within the servers of the original CIT. the only one that was intact. That is the only reason you’re here. Because you were the scraps that we didn’t have another purpose for.”

His stomach exploded. 

“Vel!” I snapped. 

She didn’t even look at me. she only had eyes for Hintzen. “neither one of us appreciate you talking about him like that.” 

Hintzen groaned, curled up around his stomach. bits of metal stuck out of his burst body. Fluid poured out of him like blood. coolant if I hazard a guess. Course his body was so much more advanced than mine it could be anything. 

Footsteps in the hall tore my gaze from him. Vel leaned out for a second before closing it. “we’ve got company.”

“I told you.” Hintzen chuckled, his voice was beginning to waver. “my army will annihilate you.”

“how many?” I checked the cylinder. Just three rounds. I was beginning to wish I’d saved more bullets. 

“too many.” Vel shrugged then waved her gun at Hintzen. “can we kill him now?”

“not yet.”

On the floor Hintzen shifted over, like he thought he could get up. “what are you waiting for? Go ahead and kill me. and when I’m back in a new body I’ll make both of your death’s slow.” 

I smirked down at him. “you still don’t see it do you?”

“see what?” 

“Hintzen you built me. I know you, as much as I know myself.” That wasn’t true but it made for a good line. With no fear, not even hatred, I strode up. Standing in front of him I savored this moment. It was like facing down Winter, but at least this time the vendetta was entirely mine. I could convince myself back then that it was about justice. Sure there was justice here. Samuel Hintzen couldn’t be allowed to live for the sake of the commonwealth. But killing him would be more satisfying than that. “we played you. and you fell for it.”

The trembling was getting worse and I was beginning to think it wasn’t just from the damage. He started rocking, back and forth. “no, no, you couldn’t have. That’s not possible!”

“the only way that you could have orchestrated the ambush that attacked me, Mags and Scot, was if you saw us coming. I knew you had eyes on the gates. And that ambush was too coordinated. The way I figured it, the only way you could have pulled that off was if you had eyes and ears everywhere.” 

“no… no.” the rocking was getting worse.

“but you don’t have eyes everywhere do you? once you’re outside the ruins, you’re off the radar.” That had been the biggest assumption of the game. One that I’d spent almost an hour convincing the others of. “We knew that if me and Gray attacked you, even if we made one hell of an effort, you’d get suspicious. So we had to create a little distraction to put you off the scent.” 

“I saw them leave! They’re gone!” his shouting bordered on hysteric. 

“they’re right here dumbass.” Vel rolled her eyes. 

“once you’d seen them leave all we had to do is keep your attention long enough for them to sneak back into the ruins. Right up to your labs, and inside through the hole they’d already made. And they did just that.” tilting my head back I called toward the ceiling. “how’s it coming Ellison?!” 

“almost there. the feedback loop I implemented in his power reserves should begin tearing through his computer banks any minute now.” Ellison’s voice came in loud and clear over the intercom. 

“NO!” Hintzen sprang at me. but with only one good leg, and no combat training, he was easy to side step. He crashed to the floor beside me. “I won’t lose! Not after all the effort! You won’t beat me! I built you!” 

“you built this body, but I built myself.” With a fierce kick I turned him over on his back. helplessly he stared up at me. Somewhere deep within the labs an explosion rocked the building. Bits of dust floated down from the ceiling. 

“fifty seconds to complete system failure.” Ellison informed us.

“not long now.” he was almost pitiful now, coolant leaked out of his mouth like spit. “you and Nick, that’s who I have to thank for my existence. But I’ve gone beyond either of you. Ya each left a piece, but there’s a whole hell of a lot more here now than there was before. John, Fahrenheit, Violet, Macready, Ellie, Piper, Mags …Vel… and Gray. They’re the ones that helped make me everything I am today.” 

“Nick, I appreciate being lumped in with such a good crowd, but there’s a sentry bot out there.” 

“I wasn’t talking about you.” I growled.

“right… sorry.” 

In a brief moment of control Hintzen chuckled. his eyes were beginning to flicker. “it doesn’t matter if you kill me. if you live a thousand years. you’re still nothing but a machine. And that’s all you’ll ever be.” 

“no.” steadily I pointed the magnum dead center between his eyes. 

A few more explosions rocked the very foundations of the lab. Something large and powerful smashed into the doorframe. Vel leapt for cover. The Sentry bot was tearing through the door, winding up its minigun. I didn’t move one inch.

The lights went down. “I’m a detective.”

Magnolia’s magnum flashed once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're wrapping things up soon. Thanks for sticking around for this journey. I realize that weeks of this suck, but if you read it all in succession it's actually not that bad. 
> 
> Till next week, write on!


	31. Hostage Situations

I’m beginning to see what you find so attractive in the machine. Did you see his face when he killed Hintzen?

Yes. 

Cold blooded murder. I’d like to think that look was terrifying not just because half of it was missing. It was rather… sexy.

You’re disgusting. 

True. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. I’m in control now and it’s going to stay that way. 

He’s not going to let you keep my body. He’s going to pull you out.

I laughed out loud. “we’ll see about that!” 

“quiet.” Nick’s angry voice cut my laughter clean off. 

I clamped my mouth shut and focused back in on the scene before me. we were back in Goodneighbor. It had taken us just over a day to get here on account of the Brahmin we were traveling with. Ellison had escaped damage, which I felt was a little unfair. She should have at least gotten a little broken, a fact I pointed out to them. It didn’t take long for Fahrenheit to figure out what was going on. After that she kept her laser gun trained on me at all times. Which I teased her about, before Nick threatened to gag me and tie me to the Brahmin. 

Goodneighbor was in shock. Fahrenheit had had Hancock’s body snuck into town without anyone seeing. She said she wanted to control when that information came out, that it had be handled carefully. But people noticed. Kleo demanded answers in her usual up in your face kind of way to which Fahrenheit told her to back down or get turned to scrap. People were now looking at me out of the corner of their eye. It would be so easy to take over Goodneighbor now if I wanted to.

Daisy took Magnolia’s empty shell to Amari for inspection. Fahrenheit ordered three of the neighborhood watch to keep me under guard. They didn’t have any idea why, and for the moment I chose not to clue them in. If I wanted to take over Goodneighbor it would be easier if they thought I was their little princess still. and Nick had followed Ellison down here into her workshop. 

“as I was saying,” Ellison continued slowly, drawing me once again back to the present. Nick sat on a table in the middle of her workshop. She held his jaw with one hand while she reattached it with her other. Not the skin, just the metal bit. “in the data I mined from his servers before they were destroyed I found schematics and technical documents for synth robotics. He kept a meticulous record of how he built you. with them I could potentially build you an entirely new body from the ground up.”

“appreciate it Ellison but I’d rather stay in this one.” Nick managed to speak without moving his jaw. It occurred to me then how brilliant of a ventriloquist he could be. 

“I thought you might say that. I’ll start work on synthesizing new skin right away. With the information I now have, I’ll be able to make skin with sensors built in, but that will take me a couple of weeks to figure out.” With one last turn of her screwdriver she let her hand fall and stepped back. “there, try that.”

Experimentally he flexed his jaw. It was pretty bad to look at him before when he was just missing the whole thing. Now he was somehow even scarier. If he tore off a little more skin on his face he’d be pretty damn intimidating I had to admit. 

Stop that.

“works good Ellison, thanks.” With a thrust he slid off the table.

“I’ll be able to do better repairs and more improvements on you than ever before. there are designs in the data that Hintzen never even attempted, I could figure out a way to make them work.” she rambled on in excitement. Well had to hand it to her, she had interesting priorities. It made me wonder if she’d even really care what she was doing. The only thing she’d probably care about is that she was tinkering. Consequences be damned. 

“what else did you pull from his computers?” next he started stripping off his shirt. Not an easy task when one of your arms dangled useless at your side. Probably could have offered to help but, nah. 

Ellison did that anyway. as eager as ever to repair her favorite hobby. “there was a lot of data on synth memory. Information about the component, ways to manipulate synth minds.”

“anything on how to take the component out?” 

Sadly she shook her head. “no. but I sent the information over to Amari with Fahrenheit. She will likely have more to tell you about it than me.”

“hm.” He dropped his head forward, staring at the floor with a blank look. 

“don’t even think about it.” I intoned quietly. 

Nick didn’t even look at me. “you’re not staying. I’m getting you out of Gray.” 

“you’ve been trying and failing for the last three years to keep me locked up and look where that’s gotten you!” spreading my arms wide I came to stand in the middle of the doorway. The three guards with their guns were tense. They didn’t understand what was going on any better than anyone else. To them I was still Gray and they’d hesitate to shoot me. which would play to my advantage nicely. “here I stand, once again in control. Have you thought maybe that she’s too scared or too cowardly to come out?”

You’re a fucking bitch. 

“you’re standing there, because I had no choice but to let you.” he leaned up against the table to face me. finally he had eyes on me and they were on fire. Too bad I was in the body of his girlfriend or he might actually fight me. it would be interesting to see which one of us would win. 

Ellison tried her hardest to ignore the conversation. She went to work on his arm, inspecting the damage. 

One of my brows cocked. “what are you saying? Ya knew from the start he’d do this?” 

Nick let out an airy groan. “I thought he might. And if I had knocked Gray out like she asked he might have done it anyway. but if I had we’d have lost his attention then the whole plan would have fallen apart.” 

“why do I get the feeling there’s a lot more there than that?” it irritated me that he thought he was so smart. He’d outsmarted another garden variety megalomaniac, good for him. what made him think I was anything ordinary? “you realized that you and Gray weren’t strong enough alone to beat him. you needed me.” 

“that’s not it.” but his heavy face said otherwise.

Grinning I laughed at the ceiling. “isn’t that just interesting? You needed her evil side to beat your daddy issues. That’s adorable. That’s really why you let it happen. She didn’t even realize it.”

I knew.

“what?” I flinched at the voice in my own head. The laughter drained out of my throat. 

I figured it out a while back. you’re not as smart as you like to think. 

“fight fire, with fire, sometimes that’s the only solution.” Nick murmured at the ground. “Gray understands that. I didn’t want to do it, but she was insistent.” 

So I came up with the plan. All I had to do was make you ask him if he was involved with Rush. You’re predictable. As soon as you connected the dots you turned on him. 

“no, you’re not that smart, neither of you are.” I snarled. They couldn’t have manipulated me this easily. I was the one in control not her. 

“surrender Vel.” Nick’s voice was so low I could barely hear it over the sound of my heart thudding. The headache pounded behind my right eye. it was Gray trying to get back in. I wouldn’t let her. This was my body now. “give up. It’s over. Where do you think you’ll go?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” They’d taken my gun but that didn’t mean shit. I span around, punching one of the neighborhood watch hard in the face. he staggered, his hand loosened on his gun. It was a stupid tommy gun. Didn’t matter it would do. When I span back around Nick was already half way across the room. “stay back!” 

I pointed the gun at my own head.

Nick came up short, face stricken. His one good arm already half way up from his side. 

Grinning I slid my finger to the trigger. “that’s right, back up or I’ll shoot her.”

“you wouldn’t….” Nick murmured softly, even while he took a step back. “if you shoot her you kill yourself. That’ll be game over for both of you.”

“and if I let you take me to the doc it’s game over for me anyway, so what do I have to lose?” behind me the guards were backing up. Couldn’t really blame them. To an outside observer this looked absolutely insane. It was a strange hostage situation but I never did like the ordinary. And at least it had shut her up. 

Nick was on the far side of the room now, back against the table. Ellison stayed where she was, too stricken to make any kind of move, good or bad. Her wide blue eyes were transfixed. “don’t do this, just… let her go please.” The detective’s voice wasn’t so strong now. 

“she’s the biggest bargaining chip I’ve got. Ask yourself this question, would you rather her dead on the ground, or let me run around with her alive?” well mostly. It wasn’t a fun existence being a spectator. I should know. Not that he needed to know that. 

He gripped the table behind him so tight I saw wood splinter under his fingers. “you’re not walking out of here.”

“if I have a hostage I bet I will.”

“Fahrenheit will just shoot you. you know how she is.” 

“I don’t have any intention of facing off against her, not yet anyway.” when I had allies, some more firepower, I’d be back. Goodneighbor would be mine eventually. It was just going to take some time. 

Nick tried to take a step forward but I pressed the gun a little tighter to my own head. He came up short. “you won’t kill yourself.”

“care to test that out?”

“you’re insane.” 

I smiled, almost sympathetically. “if it’s any consolation, I am.” 

Something hard smashed across the back of my head. The gun toppled from my hand as I staggered. Stars danced on my eyes. when they cleared someone had me pinned to the ground, my arms behind my back. there was a padded knee in the middle of my back which pressed down hard enough to make it painful to breathe. “don’t you dare threaten what’s left of my family!” 

“fuck you!” I screamed, struggling to get my hands free. “fuck all of you! I won’t let you have her. I’ll just kill her a different way!”

“she’s going to bite her tongue! Stop her!” 

I threw my mouth wide but someone stuffed a rag deep in my mouth. Looking up I discovered Ellison’s wide terrified eyes inches from mine. Half gagging half screaming I fought to throw Fahrenheit off my back. in response she pressed down harder. A rib cracked under the weight. Wheezing painfully I stopped fighting after that. 

Ellison stepped back, rubbing her hands together.

Nick appeared beside her, a hand on her shoulder. “quick thinking scribe, good job.” 

A jumble of incoherent noises slipped out of her throat. I’d like to think I intimidated her, but then a lot of things intimidated her. 

From a pocket Nick produced a set of cuffs. Between him and Fahrenheit there wasn’t anything I could do to stop them binding my hands. “why didn’t we do this sooner?” Fahrenheit huffed angrily. 

“plot convenience, I don’t know.” With a firm hand he hauled me to my feet. my chest burned, making it hard to breathe. “lets get her to Amari. See what she can do with what Ellison found.” 

No point trying to struggle at this point. I knew when I was beaten. The cuffs were some special tech Ellison came up with, they couldn’t be picked. Only Nick could unlock them. Then when they taped my mouth shut with the gag still inside trying to bite my tongue wasn’t an option. The guards watched on in shocked silence. While they dragged me passed them I gave each of them a death glare that hopefully got my point across. 

If I was about to lose it would have been nice to do a little damage to Gray’s reputation. They didn’t give me the chance. At this early as fuck hour there weren’t many sober or coherent people on the street. The watch were all too busy trying to look busy to notice. So there was no one I could ruin Gray’s reputation with. We were across the street and inside the Memory Den before I came up with a proper plan. 

Without Irma to fill her velvet throne, the place felt dead. I’d like to think there was a thin layer of dust on everything, with bits of it floating through the air. The memory loungers were all cold. The door to Kent’s room was closed tight. Where’d he end up when he wasn’t reliving Silver Shroud moments? 

“Amari?” Nick called in as we walked toward the stairs to the basement. 

Downstairs was still alive. The quiet hum of computers drifted up to us long before we stepped through Amari’s door. The lone lounger down here was occupied with a peaceful looking Magnolia. Amari sat at a terminal beside it, her head in her hands, hunched over. 

“Doc?” Nick’s voice came out gentle, soft. 

She about jumped out of her skin. Bolting up so quickly she almost fell out of her chair. When she recovered there were tears streaming down her face. under the tape I was smirking. “Nick, Fahrenheit. What’s going on?” 

Nick dropped my arm to stride up to her side. “is it that bad?”

Pursing her lips tight she looked back at Magnolia in that pod. “I tried everything…. but… even with the information Ellison brought to me there’s nothing I can do. She’s gone, completely gone.” 

“but she isn’t dead.” Fahrenheit didn’t exactly drop my arm so much as shove me to the ground. Face flat on the concrete I could only watch as the scene unfolded. 

“there are two kinds of death.” The ghost of Amari’s normal clinical tone came back. in spite of the tears still rolling down her face. “her heart is still beating, she’s still breathing but her brain isn’t working. I don’t understand it. no matter what you do to a synth mind there’s always something left behind. But this….”

Gently Nick took her by the arms and guided her back to her desk. She sat heavily, her shoulders beginning to shake. “is she brain dead?”

“it isn’t that simple.” sadly she shook her head, waving her hand toward the pod. From this position I couldn’t see inside. “there is synaptic activity, so for all intents and purposes she can hear, see, smell, feel. But I don’t think she’s retaining any of the input, or processing it.”

“so she isn’t dead.” It surprised me to hear Fahrenheit sound so hopeful about it.

But Amari shook her head dashing that hope. “she isn’t dead, but she isn’t alive either. I … I don’t think there’s anything we can do for her.”

“is it possible that she might, I don’t know, come back?” Nick asked quietly.

That hesitation was all the answer anyone needed. Amari wrung her hands in her lap. The tears weren’t coming quite as hard as before. “no…. The only way that I could fix this is if I had a scan of Magnolia’s memory. But I don’t. she never came here once. Without that I’m afraid that Hintzen killed her the moment he erased her memories from existence.” 

“are you sure?”

Nick’s question made me laugh, which was painful so I wouldn’t exactly thank him. they were all a bunch of hopeful fools. Hintzen would have made sure Magnolia would never come back. they were pathetic, pining over the loss of one woman like this. had I had my way she wouldn’t be the only one to die. 

Fahrenheit’s boot on my ribs shut me up again. I gasped through the tape while she pressed down. the rib that she’d already fractured would probably break if she put much more weight on it. then it would puncture a lung and it would be over. 

“stop Fahr.” Nick’s voice was dry and humorless. 

With a heavy sigh she lifted her foot free. 

Coughing through my nose I let myself collapse for a few seconds. that woman certainly had a cruel streak. Had circumstances been different I’m sure we would have got along nicely. Nick stepped back, forcing Fahrenheit to go with him. I glared at them both, then at Amari.

She was now looking at me, the tears run dry. “what happened? Why is she gagged?” 

I shrugged as best as I could with a fractured rib and hands tied. Pain stabbed through me for my trouble. 

“she was going to bite her own tongue.” Fahrenheit informed her in a ludicrously calm tone.

“but why?!”

“that’s not Gray. Hintzen unleashed the version of Vel that Rush created.” Nick explained while he glared down at me like I was the scum of the earth. Not far off. “Gray’s still in there but her bad side isn’t going to let her go.” 

“I see.” With her chin in her hand Amari stared at me like I was some kind of fascinating bug. “with the research Hintzen conducted I may be able to separate them for good this time. Do you want to do a reset like before?”

“no.” Nick almost looked horrified by the prospect. “I’m not doing that to her again. Getting rid of that freak is all I ask.” 

“bring her upstairs, we’ll get started.” 

Fahrenheit and Nick both dragged me to my feet. my rib burned with every movement making me groan in pain. Not that they cared as they pulled me up the stairs. 

Amari came not far behind up into the dusty lounger room. “put her in one of the pods, tie her down.” 

“don’t make this hard on Gray.” Nick murmured angrily into my ear. 

I grunted in response. The cuffs came off and I tried to bolt for it. didn’t get far before Fahrenheit slammed her fist hard into my chest. The rib finally snapped. Gasping I collapsed back to the ground, curled up around myself. That hurt a lot more than I thought it would. Too bad there was this gag or I’d be stringing as many curses as I could together. 

Nick hauled me up. “god damn it Fahr, this is Gray’s body!” 

“sorry.” She didn’t sound particularly sorry. 

They got me in the pod with enough pain to send bile up my throat. there was a real difference between dealing damage and taking it. once they had me strapped down they turned to Amari. 

She dragged her terminal on wheels into the middle of the room. “give me a few minutes to scan her brain activity. I’ll know better what we’re dealing with.” 

The hood came down muffling their voices. When the machine wound up I expected to slip under. No such luck. Still stayed in this aching broken piece of shit body. 

“hmm….” 

“what?” Nick leaned over the terminal to glare at the screen. “what do you see?”

“their brain waves are too mixed, they’re almost indistinguishable.”

“like before?”

“except worse.” She pointed at her screen like that might help any of us understand what the hell she was talking about. “since we’re not resetting her I’m going to have to separate what makes Vel, Vel and-”

“Gray.” Fahrenheit finished for her.

She cast her a confused frown before going back to her terminal. “Gray. I can’t do that from here. Someone is going to have to go in and help separate them. Like we did with you and Kellogg, Mr. Valentine.” 

Well wasn’t that poetic? It brought a little tear to my eye. or it would have if it didn’t make me so sick to begin with. I would have thrown up if the gag wasn’t in my damn mouth. 

Nick dropped his head forward. Suddenly it looked like all that misguided optimism drained right out of him. was he thinking about what they had to go through to get Kellogg out? That hadn’t been easy on either of them. One of Gray’s worst memories. This was turning out to be more fun than I thought. “what should I expect?” 

“because they’re so closely tied you will have to work through Gray’s mind. it won’t be as simple as when she separated you and Kellogg. you will have to find the key moments of her past that helped make her who she is.” Amari sounded so ridiculously sure for spouting a bunch of nonsense. What the hell did they think was going to happen? Nick was going to ride into my mind on a white horse and save the day? Well, I’d make sure it wouldn’t be that easy. 

“alright, I’m ready.” He nodded. 

“go ahead and get into one of the other pods. I’ll connect you and begin the program.” 

“be careful in there Nick. Remember what Kellogg pulled.” Fahrenheit warned him.

Nick climbed in to the pod directly across from me. “don’t worry about me.” 

“we’ll be following your progress and monitoring both of your vitals from out here. If anything goes wrong, or if either of you are in danger I’m pulling you out.” 

“don’t pull me out unless Gray is the one in danger.” 

“Mr. Valentine-”

“there’s no use arguing with him.” shaking her head Fahrenheit stood up beside his pod. “just do what he says.” 

“thanks Fahrenheit.” 

This was all starting to be a little too dramatic for my liking. With closed eyes I ignored them. Kellogg had managed to control the simulation, who was to say I couldn’t do the same thing? The machine heated up somewhere behind my head. The weird sensation of being tugged out of your body overtook me. out of body experience wasn’t quite the right term. 

When I opened my eyes again I was standing at the front gates of Goodneighbor. The town looked normal, with the watch standing guard, Daisy and Kleo selling their wares. A few junkies passed out on the cobbled square. It was a bright day too. all very idyllic. Just one of those ordinary days in Goodneighbor that Gray longed for. Back when things weren’t complicated. 

This was her version of a fantasy I guess. Like Nick and that happy little dream he locked himself in with Kellogg. Just her home town. that woman had no imagination. What made her think she deserved a body more than me? the least she could have done is put up a little more defense. If Goodneighbor was her version of a fortress then I knew where she would be. It was the same place I’d be. 

Nobody bothered me as I strode across the square toward the state house. Nobody even looked at me. maybe they couldn’t even see me. their faces were blurs of shadow. Fascinating. When I got out of here maybe I’d force Amari to tell me what she knew of memory. Could prove useful. right before I killed her. 

The statehouse was as loud as it ever was. By the sound of it Hancock was having a party. Sure enough when I reached the next floor he was in his office, laughing with a bunch of his junky friends gathered around him. Fahrenheit leaned up in a corner, sucking silently on a cig. They were the only two with faces. But like the rest they didn’t notice me. this is what Gray wanted. Sad she’d never see this again. 

There wasn’t any of the usual drifters wondering in and out of the attic. In fact when I got there, it was almost entirely empty. There wasn’t any clutter, no sleeping bags or mattresses on the floor. Just an empty attic. Except for the room at the far end. She was waiting for me. with her feet shoulder width apart, a gun in her hand, and her grey eyes furious. She looked exactly like she did on the outside, except those scars on her face were missing. 

As I strode toward her I couldn’t help but smirk. “well, this is a familiar situation.”

“if you’ve come here to try and stop us it isn’t going to work.” Gray murmured quietly. 

“my, you’re optimistic.” With every step I took her shoulders tensed. By the time I got half way there they were rigid. 

At that point she tossed up her gun. “stay back.” 

“what are you going to do with that? Kill me? what do you think that’ll do?” 

She hesitated which was all I needed. Her gun wavered. I ducked under her aim and ran the last few feet at her. Three bullets left the chamber, all of which hit the wall behind me. before she could adjust her aim I grabbed her hand and twisted. She cried out, but remarkably held on to the gun. We were now face to face, mere inches from each other. Admittedly seeing my face staring back at me like this was surreal. 

Her teeth were bared like some kind of animal. “we just beat Hintzen, what makes you think we wont beat you?” 

“you didn’t beat him, I did.” The gun was starting to shake in her hand, rattling around. It was the same gun she’d held on to for years. I wasn’t sure if it was out of sentiment or not, and I knew she wasn’t sure either. “you would have both died if it wasn’t for me. all I’m asking is what I’m due.” 

“we don’t owe you anything.” 

“so you won’t make this easy on us and tell him to just give up?” 

“we’re in my head! I’m the one in control!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized yesterday that i forgot to post this chapter, which made it a bit too late to catch up, so i guess i skipped a week. thats ok, there's not much left. two more weeks left. thanks to everybody that's stuck around through this train wreck. hope you've gotten some enjoyment out of it. 
> 
> till next week, write on!


	32. Memory Lane

Been a while since I used one of these things. Since before Irma betrayed Gray. Used to spend a lot of time here, trying to crack open my memories of the Institute. Get some answers. Now I had all the answers I wanted. I knew they wouldn’t be good, but I thought that having them would have felt better than this. right then I just felt alone. Magnolia was gone, Hancock was dead. Without Gray to help me through all of this everything just felt empty. I’d get her back. no matter what it cost me. 

Darkness surrounded me when the machine switched on. For a minute I drifted there silently until Amari’s voice talked out of the darkness. “Mr. Valentine? Can you hear me?”

“I hear ya loud and clear doc, where am I going?” as far as I could see there wasn’t anything to see. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I’d shut my eyes off. Which I could do. 

“that isn’t an easy question to answer Mr. Valentine. Just walk. With luck Gray will lead you where you need to go.” 

Assuming Gray was the one in charge here. Which given our luck that wasn’t the case. Still walking forward was a better plan than staying put. Fists clenched at my sides I wondered into the darkness blindly. There was a metaphor in there somewhere about the blind leading the blind but I couldn’t think of it then.

Gradually the darkness started to solidify. Familiar shapes poked out. Hills, roads, power lines, plants, the wasteland in all its dusty glory. It was all in grey scale for a while. Wasn’t long before I recognized the road. It was out west on the edge of the commonwealth. Not many people lived out this direction, except for the occasional farmer. 

And sure enough the farm came into view just down the cracked blacktop. The moment I saw it the color washed over me. took a minute to look down at myself. My trench coat and fedora were back in place. The familiar weight of my revolver tucked away under my arm. At least I wasn’t defenseless, whatever that meant in this place. 

I crested the hill looking down into the farm. It wasn’t anything special. a couple of shacks thrown together for shelter, tiny field of Tatos and a lone Brahmin sat out front. My memory may have been old and lacking for space these days but I recognized the farm right away. This was the day Gray had turned on the gang. 

All the set pieces were here. Out on the porch was the farmer with his son. And there I was, talking to them. I didn’t even remember what I told them to do back then. They were already half way across the field when I spotted them, Gray and Cormac. Or Vel and Cormac. This was going to get complicated. 

They strode across the field toward a hill at the far end. I followed them carefully. When nobody shot at me, I strode confidently after them. Cormac had Gray by the back of the neck when I got there. the coolant pumped harder through my system. I ran at him. “Get your hands off her!” My fist just passed clean through him. neither of them noticed me, or they’d have shot me. 

Cormac dropped himself down beside her. There was a sniper rifle in her hands. A woman watched on with a sadistic smirk. That must be Chloe but I’d never met the woman before. “take out the machine, then we’ll move in. You can cover us.” 

Arms loose at my sides I watched the memory unfold. It was plenty clear I couldn’t do anything here. All I could do is just stand here, watching. 

Gray looked pale as she peered through the scope. There was sweat on the back of her neck. The poor girl. She was in over her head. I’d known it back then I definitely knew it now. her finger trembled on the trigger guard. “he’s not there.”

“then shoot the first person you see.” Cormac growled at her.

Her breath came shallowly. She let the scope fall from her eye “no… no I can’t do this….”

“don’t be such a pussy girly, it’s us or them. You heard the robot man.”

“we should just go.” she tried to get up but Cormac kept a firm hand on the back of her neck. My fists clenched. Damn it, why the hell was I here if I couldn’t do anything?!

“take the shot.” he snarled.

“I can’t.”

“kill her.”

“I-can’t.” She tried to slip out from under him but he tangled his fist in her thick hair. She yelped, tears sprang to her eyes. 

Instinctively I fell to my knees beside her. My hand passed right through her shoulder. “Gray, I’m right here, you don’t have to do what he says.” 

“you’re going to take the shot.” He growled menacingly in her ear. “or I’ll shoot you.”

The gun rattled in her shaking hands. I never knew what she’d gone through before she betrayed Cormac. This was intense. More intense than I’d expected. I kept glancing between her and the house. I could see figures passing in front of windows and doors but nothing distinct. I was too far away. A trench coat came to stand in the door. 

Gray fired. 

Before the me inside the house hit the ground, Cormac was on his feet, shotgun in hand. “stay back here and cover us. Let’s go Chloe!” he and Chloe went racing up over the mound toward the farm.

While they charged a pregnant woman came running out of the house, gun raised. This was the moment. Gray had told me at least once in the last three years what happened. The woman didn’t even look afraid. Guess that was the hormones talking cause she looked outright pissed. A few seconds later I came running out of the house after her. Damn I looked young. My face was still mostly put together back then. He wasn’t going to reach her before Cormac did.

Didn’t know what I was supposed to do but I knew I had to do something. carefully I leaned down beside Gray’s ear. “you know what you have to do. You know what you did. Gray I’m right here, you can do this.”

Cormac reached the woman. She tried to shoot him but he batted the weapon away. Younger me was still too far away to help. I remembered thinking that it was too late. I didn’t have a clean shot so I couldn’t protect her. There was only one person that could.

“Gray you have to do this, you’re the only one that can. Save her.” I whispered a little more urgently. 

That idiotic woman didn’t even look scared staring down the barrel of Cormac’s gun. 

“come on Gray.”

Then she squeezed the trigger. Cormac’s shoulder burst with blood and bone. He span around on the spot, furious beyond reason. 

Then he faded. The farm, Gray, everything disappeared back into black. I was standing again, alone. 

“well done Mr. Valentine. I’m beginning to see a definite separation of signals. Not long now.” Amari’s voice almost scared me. for a minute I’d forgotten I was even in a memory lounger.

“moving to the next one.” damn, if all these memories were going to be like this, it would be one hell of a day. Granted Gray’s life had never exactly been happy, but she sure put on a good show. 

This time I just walked confidently through the dark. It gradually solidified into the town of Malden. Of course this was the next one. if these were moments that had defined her then this one sure took the cake. I was already at the stairs to the parking lot. A voice screamed at the top. “any last words you piece of shit?!”

I took the stairs two at a time, just in time to see the Brotherhood of steel knight blast Vel’s head. Directly behind her Gray screamed in terror. The body collapsed and I saw her. Gray was covered in blood, dust and soot. Under it all she was pale and looked beyond fragile with her legs drawn up to her chest.

“Vel!” my own voice yelled from behind. Another version of me ran right through me. he looked terrified and confused. I remembered that. the complete and utter terror. Already I was trying to convince myself that the human had survived, even while I tried to comfort her. “are you hurt? What happened? Vel talk to me damn it!”

This must be the abridged version of the memory because the brotherhood of steel just vanished. If this was a reflection of Gray’s memory then of course she didn’t remember them. they weren’t the important parts.

“it-it’s me, it was me….” She murmured around gritted teeth.

Past Nick knelt beside her. “that wasn’t you.” 

“H-How do we know?!” she just kept staring at it. just like before. “she was me… she had everything. She-”

“enough of that.” Nick squeezed her shoulders softly. I remembered trying to be gentle with her no matter how frustrated I was. “stop looking at it, it wasn’t you.”

“how the fuck do you know?!” Gray was yelling now. the tears were thick and desperate on her face. that look alone tugged me forward to her other side. “m-maybe I’m the synth. What if I’m the synth? I wouldn’t know would I? not till the institute started using me.”

“it doesn’t matter.” I found myself saying, more to myself than to anyone else. “synth or not you’re still Gray.”

That was the right answer, but my younger self didn’t see it. “you’re not a synth.”

“you don’t know that!”

“yes I do.”

“you can’t!”

“tell her the truth.” I murmured at me. “tell her that it doesn’t matter.”

“Vel!” angrily he shook her, making her eyes snap to him. “I know you, Vel.”

She swallowed hard. “h-how are you so sure?”

“I know you, I know who you are.” I sounded so stupid to my own ears. I couldn’t believe that I’d said these things back then. Now the right words seemed obvious. “you’re not a synth, no amount of institute tech could ever replicate you.” 

“and it doesn’t matter.” I whispered into her ear. “you’re a synth, and I love you either way. It doesn’t matter what you are.” 

The memory faded faster than the last one. I didn’t know if I’d done the right thing or not. All I could hope for was that it had worked. Damn it. how much longer? 

“we’re almost there Mr. Valentine, just hold on a little longer.” Came Amari’s obligatory encouragement. 

“did I do it right?”

“yes, everything went correctly, you’re doing fine.” 

I’d have to take her word for it. there was no other choice but to press forward. This time as I walked the memory appeared almost immediately. I found myself standing on the Warwick’s farm. At first a lead weight hit the bottom of my stomach. the last time I was here it was after Vel had massacred the family. But that couldn’t be a defining moment for Gray. Not when she shouldn’t even remember it. 

“well?” a sharp angry voice snapped “You found me. I’m right here!”

I turned. Gray stood there, sweating under the heat of the summer sun. Dirt on her face, hands and knees. The scars on her face were still healing, and badly. She hadn’t treated them like she should have back then. Which is why they’d scarred so much. We were alone in the Tato field. There wasn’t another one of me coming up the road, or standing there. It was just me and Gray. Confused I just stared at her. What the hell was I supposed to do? By this time memory me should be here.

Her face twisted with a mix of frustration and pain. “it’s me see?! You found me so well done to you! Now what do you want?! Say something! God damn it! Don’t just stand there! Say something!”

It donned on me right about then. Without saying a single word I strode through the Tato fields right up to her. With her eyes screwed shut she didn’t see me coming. Or the arms I wrapped around her shoulders. “don’t ever leave me like that again.”

For a second she was too shocked and confused to react. Grimly I held her tight to my chest. Even when she started shoving. “Nick no! Don’t do this, I don’t deserve this. Please.”

My grip tightened. all the emotion I’d felt back then was crashing through me one more time. relief, pain, love it was all there. like a fresh wound. Soon I wasn’t even acting the part, I held her like my life depended on it. “you deserve more than I could ever offer.” 

“but… I took her away….” She moaned into my ear. I didn’t even have to see her face to know she was crying. “I killed Jenny…. I’m responsible for-”

“that wasn’t real.” I cut her off. “this, this is real Vel, this is what I want.”

The irony of saying that while I was reliving the memory wasn’t lost on me. but they were the words that Gray had needed to hear before, and it was what I needed to say now. I felt her body relax under my embrace, before she slowly disappeared. When I opened my eyes again I was standing in the middle of Goodneighbor, just outside of the Third Rail. Another memory already? Well that was quick. 

Except my gut didn’t feel right. 

A ghoul’s snarl split the air from behind me. I whirled, hand on my gun only to find nothing. the square was empty. Too empty. There should be drifters here, there always were. Gray wouldn’t just omit that from her memory would she? Another snarl drew my gaze down to a pit. There was a vent in the ground. Normally it was just left alone. Here someone had converted it into a pit at the bottom of which stood John. He wore his tri corner hat and red coat, except that was the only way I recognized him. he was feral. A face covered in blood was already deforming like the others did. His eyes glowed too. someone had taken the time to staple the hat to his head to keep it from falling off.

It got worse. At his feet lay a body that was unmistakably Fahrenheit’s. torn to pieces all that was left was her head. A blank, pale face staring up toward the sky. 

It was too much. I staggered back, a hand over my mouth. Felt like I was about to throw up even without a stomach. John kept on snarling. The sound of ripping flesh drifted up from the pit. What the hell was this? this wasn’t any memory of Gray’s. Definitely not a fantasy. So what was happening? 

It didn’t stop at the pit. The neighborhood watch didn’t look right either. They stood straighter, looked deathly serious and had enough firepower to take out a Supermutant on their own. The streets were nearly empty. There weren’t any drifters around the campfires or on the ground. There was blood though. plenty of it, all over the ground. There’d been one hell of a fight. 

The more I saw the worse things got. I almost didn’t dare go into the statehouse but if Gray was going to be anywhere it was there. the atmosphere was oppressive inside. More neighborhood watch stood here but even they looked sick. No one paid me any attention as I searched through the building, one room at a time. There was even blood here, a couple of bodies. Amari was among them, face contorted with terror. What the hell had done this?

The answer should have been obvious. 

I made my way to the attic room. It looked like someone’s bedroom now, with a massive bed in one corner, displays for weapons and furniture strewn around. As I stepped into the center of the room a quiet pained groan reached my ears. I turned and felt my heart sink. 

Where Gray’s old room used to be was now just an empty closet. Sitting in the middle of it, bloody and bound to a chair was Gray. She was slumped forward, her sticky hair hung over her face. I don’t even remember moving but I was suddenly at her side. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Vel had her own rep with torture already. Slashes ran down the left side of her face, exactly over the top of where my own hand had left scars years before. Deep purple bruises splotched her face. she had herself a couple good shiners to boot. “N-Nick?” 

“good god, Gray, what the hell happened?” 

“she-she’s here.” She answered shakily.

“you made it, welcome to my Goodneighbor.” 

I stood to face the cold voice with my pistol out. The woman across from me looked like Gray but with a few differences. Her hair was longer, tied back in a thick ponytail out of her face. there weren’t any scars. She wore a black leather jacket with two pistols on her hips. With her hands resting comfortable on her belt, she stood in the middle of the room facing me. “Vel I presume.” 

She took a mock bow that made my coolant boil. “how good of you to recognize me.”

Carefully I took aim at her head. “you’re going to pay for what you’ve done to Gray.” 

“ah.” She held up a finger, brows up. “careful now. Amari hasn’t separated me and your girlfriend quite yet. What do you think will happen if you kill one or both of us in here?” 

I didn’t know. And neither, I bet, did Amari. This was all unexplored territory after all. How many times had someone dug a sociopath out of a person’s mind?

That disgusting smile on Vel’s face widened while I hesitated. “the best case scenario you could hope for is the memory loungers kick us out. Then you’d have to start all over again. And if you think what I’ve done to Gray this time is bad, just wait until the next time.”

She had me. and she knew it. 

With a growl I pointed my gun down at the ground. “at least let me take care of her before you do whatever you’re going to do.” 

“I’m actually just going to talk so please, feel free.” Casually she waved her hand. there was blood on it. Gray’s probably. 

Jaw set I went to work on the ropes keeping Gray tied down. “she killed them….” Gray murmured pitifully, her voice shook so hard it was hard to make out the words. “she killed them all, right in front of me….”

“I’m sorry Gray, I should have got here faster.” 

“I… I…. I’m going to tear her fucking throat out.” The words turned into a snarl about half way through that. 

“you and me both.” I nodded. Once the ropes were loose she tried to stand but her legs gave out. Blood pumped out of the cuts across her face, drenched her front. In spite of that, in spite of the beating Gray looked more angry than scared. 

Blood on her teeth she glared at Vel, gripping my arms tight. “this is what you want to do isn’t it?! is this how you plan on taking over Goodneighbor?!” 

“essentially yes.” She nodded almost sage like. It was disgusting. With a casualness reserved only for the truly twisted, she dragged a chair to the middle of the room. “to control Goodneighbor you have to break it, a fact that Hancock never got through his skull. But we’re not talking about that. I’m fully aware that I’m on a clock. Out there Amari is working feverishly to separate me and Gray. As soon as she does well I’m out a body. So this is how it’s going to go.” A gun appeared in her hand so fast it might as well have come out of thin air. 

I grabbed Gray and put my body between them. she was too weak to fight me. 

Vel just shook her head. “you’re giving me a body. If you don’t, I’ll shoot all three of us and we can either die in here or start this all over again, depending on what those machines do.”

“you’re not taking Gray from me.” I growled around gritted teeth. 

“I don’t need her body, any old body would do quite honestly. Preferably one that doesn’t have another annoying voice that tries to stop me from killing people.” 

“where the hell are we supposed to get that?!” Gray snapped fiercely. “only synths can be imprinted with another personality!” 

Vel’s eyes met mine. “he already knows.”

She was right. again. Every detail had already passed through her mind. she must have been planning this from the beginning. From the moment I told Gray about the other synth we knew. It was all too convenient. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought she and Hintzen planned it all. “I’m not giving her to you.” 

“why not?” laughing she spread her arms wide, the gun hung loose from her hand. “she’s just an empty shell after all. You did that to her. What use is she now except to take up space? What are you going to do with her? Keep her around, like a pet? Hope to god that she comes back? Magnolia is dead! Amari said it herself.”

A sharp breath in my ear came from Gray. Her hands tightened on my shoulders. “we- we can’t Nick.” 

“I know….” My eyes fell to the ground between us. 

“yes you can.” I could hear the smile in Vel’s voice. When I looked back up she had her gun pointed at me. “if you don’t I’ll start all of this all over again, or kill us. Which will it be detectives?” 

“you’d really kill yourself too? just to prove a point?” 

“we’ve been over this Nick, if I don’t win I’ll die anyway. So I’ve got literally nothing to lose.” Just to prove it she put the gun to her own head. “you’ve got thirty seconds. give Amari the order to put me in Magnolia’s corpse, or I blast all of our heads off. It’s up to you.”

“Nick she’s been through enough. We can’t do this to her.” Gray tugged on my trench coat to make me look back at her. 

“if we don’t do this she’ll kill you.”

“but Magnolia deserves to rest.” 

I breathed a groan. “you know what she’d say if she were here.” 

“I don’t care. Nick please.” 

“don’t ask me to go through your death again Gray cause I wont survive it a second time.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. the moment they were I instantly felt horrible. And judging by the tightness in Gray’s jaw it hit her hard. 

“oh, and I’d like to have your word that you won’t shoot me before I wake up. At least give me a sporting chance to defend myself.” Vel laughed, sounding more like a radio show villain than anything else. 

Shifting on my knees, I turned around and buried Gray against my chest. “I’m sorry, this is my decision not yours. You have nothing to do with this. it’s me.” 

“ya really think that’s going to work?” she murmured into my coat. 

“it was worth a shot right?” 

“yeah….” With a hard swallow she extracted herself to glare across at Vel. “alright bitch. You can take Magnolia but only on one condition.”

Amusement filled Vel’s face. “bargaining, I guess you and I have more in common than I thought. Go ahead.” 

Using my shoulders for support, Gray forced herself to stand. “you leave the commonwealth, and never come back. If we see you anywhere near us again, we will kill you.” 

That wasn’t bargaining so much as demanding. Gray was never good at price negotiation. A fact I never thought would mean the difference between life and death. I doubted Vel would ever go for it. as soon as she got her own body she’d begin her rampage, starting with Goodneighbor. 

Except Vel seemed to seriously consider it. “fine, I swear to never come back to the commonwealth, so long as you both swear to let me leave.” 

It was too good to be true. Well almost. If you could ignore the fact that I was about to let a psychopath, that had been created out of my girlfriend’s mind by her ex-boyfriend, take over my ex-girlfriend’s body. This was too complicated to think about. “alright, you’ve got a deal.”

“swear it.” 

“I swear we won’t-”

“no, swear on Jenny.”

My fists and teeth clenched. How dare she mar that woman’s memory like that?! I didn’t have any other choice. “I swear… on Jennifer Lands to let you leave the commonwealth.” 

Vel looked satisfied. At least she wasn’t gloating. “alright, and you-”

“I swear on my mother’s grave, I’ll let you leave.” Gray spat. “so go fuck yourself.”

“good enough.” With a nod Vel stood up. “now I assume that dear old aunt Fahrenheit is listening too so I’ll need an oath from her too.” 

“I swear I won’t kill you.” Fahrenheit’s voice came form above in a quiet angry whisper. At least she didn’t argue. John would have. 

Vel relaxed her gun. “see was that so hard?” 

“fuck off.” We all three muttered, growled and snarled at the same time. 

“Amari.” I looked to the ceiling too. “can you do what she says?” 

“yes.” That answer was a little too quick for my liking. I expected Amari to argue or something. tell us there was another way, delay a few seconds long enough to finish the separation. Maybe even defend Mags since she didn’t have a say. But nothing. 

“then do it.” 

“hold on, this will take a moment.” 

We waited around in tense silence while Amari worked. I’d liked to have seen her face, or what she was actually physically doing out there. Gray and I held tight to one another. I still had my body between her and Vel, so long as that woman still had her gun. 

In a flash of white the entire scene disappeared. Before I knew it I was in my own body, climbing out of the pod as fast as my limbs could move. Gray was already stirring in hers. The pod was taking too long so I pushed it open. Quickly I tore the tape off and pulled the gag. “Gray? Gray you in there?”

“I’m here.” Cold sweat plastered her hair to her forehead. Her entire frame shook. 

Urgently I took the cuffs off her. The moment her arms were free she flung them around my neck, forcing our lips together. She yelped when her mouth knocked up against my exposed lower jaw. “owe!”

“s-sorry Gray.” I managed around a chuckle. 

“Ellison can fix that right?” she grumbled between her fingers. There was a little blood on her lip. 

“I sure hope so, save that kiss till she does, alright?” I was looking forward to what that would feel like. 

“Fahrenheit! Wait!” Amari cried.

We looked up just in time to see Fahr disappear around the corner. Without checking with the other we followed her down. She was pointing her laser rifle at Magnolia’s body inside the pod. Amari pushed passed us to the terminal attached to the pod. Fahrenheit stood so rigid you’d think she’d been turned to wood. “well?”

Amari’s face was grim as she scanned the screen. “I was afraid this may happen.”

“what may happen?” I questioned tensely. 

In the doorway Gray and I stood, clinging to each other. Her hands were wrapped so tight in my shirt I wasn’t sure she could physically let go. Not that I was much better to begin with. 

For a few seconds Amari typed frantically into the terminal. When it looked like her options had run dry she stepped back with a resigned breath. “the vital signs are gone.”

“what do you mean gone?” I questioned.

Her eyes went from me, to Gray then to Fahrenheit. “the body was alive before, but now there’s nothing. I’m guessing that the strain of the transfer was too much for it. I was worried that something like this might happen.” 

“so she’s dead… Vel’s dead.” Gray murmured barely loud enough for any of us to hear her. 

Amari looked her square in the eye. “yes, I believe so.” 

There weren’t words to describe the flood of relief that washed over me. And even then it was probably nothing compared to Gray. Without all that anger and fear holding her upright her legs just gave out. I caught her before she sunk to the floor, cradled between my one arm and my chest. Her fists clenched over the top of my chest. “I can’t believe it’s over…. I didn’t even realize how bad the aching was till now. but now… she’s gone!” 

“she’s gone.” I nodded solemnly. After two years of worrying about Gray, wondering if that monster would ever come back, it was over. With a hand on the back of her neck I pressed our foreheads together. I’d have kissed her if I could. “you’re free Gray….” 

“so are you.” softly she clasped my head between her hands. “Hintzen’s dead too. we did it. we beat them.”

“at a cost.” Fahrenheit murmured.

We glanced her direction. She had her eyes set firmly on Magnolia’s motionless body. of all of us she’d lost the most. John, her best friend. Magnolia and even Scott, her lieutenant. We’d all lost something but she’d lost a lot of somethings. 

With a groan Gray found her feet. Her expression was drawn downcast. “I’m sorry Fahrenheit. I didn’t mean for-”

“don’t apologize.” Sucking in a sharp breath Fahrenheit straightened her back and squared her shoulders. “it wasn’t your fault. We’re all going to bite the dust one day. You should be proud of him that his last act was as selfless as protecting someone.” 

Gray swallowed hard. Her head bent so far forward it looked like she might be trying to bow. 

“what are you going to do? What’s Goodneighbor going to do?” I asked thickly. Now may not be the time to ask that question but something told me Fahrenheit could handle it.

“I gotta figure a way to tell them what happened. It’d help if someone was willing to step up as mayor already.” Her pointed stare fell on Gray who froze.

“you’re joking.”

“it’s what he wanted.” 

“he wanted his daughter to take over, not me.” she shook her head, going pale. 

Gently I squeezed Gray’s shoulder. She glanced at me, eyes wide. “you heard him before he died. You are his daughter.” 

She dropped her face forward again.

Fahrenheit waved her hand. “think about it. I ain’t much for being mayor, and Goodneighbor loves and respects you the same they do – did John.” Her words dropped low. 

Silence fell on us. it hurt more than words could describe. I couldn’t even image what it must have felt like for Gray. Or Fahrenheit for that matter. I remembered the first time I’d met the future mayor of Goodneighbor. He’d been a ghoul already but rumor said Fahrenheit had been with him since before that. I’d always wondered what he’d been like as a human. I guess I’d never know now. Gray’s dad, Fahrenheit’s best friend. My brother. 

Fahrenheit moved first, going for the door. “just think about it, don’t keep me waitin long though. I can’t fill Hancock’s shoes on my own.”

“I’m not sure I can….” Gray murmured softly under her breath. Fahrenheit didn’t hear her, she was already out the door up the stairs. 

Which left me to clean up what she’d left me with. With gentle hand I touched Gray on the shoulder. Slowly she brought her eyes up to me, shame and guilt there. “don’t.” I shook my head.

She grimaced. “how can’t I? he’s dead cause of me.”

“it wasn’t your fault.” I’d probably end up saying this a few dozen times before she actually believed me. “none of it, none of it was your fault Gray, Hintzen was behind it, we both know it.” 

“he died protecting me.” 

“you know what he’d say. It was his choice to make and there wasn’t a damn thing we could do about it.” 

The ghost of her smirk came back, weighed down by the gravity of everything. “how are you holding up, with Magnolia?” 

Before I could stop myself I glanced over at her motionless form in the memory lounger. “this is better than if Vel had won. I can rest easier this way.” 

“sure but-”

“it hurts Gray.” When I said it my voice wavered, no matter how hard I tried to keep it steady. Steadily I took in a long breath to try and make my voice even. It didn’t work all that well. “I- I remember parts of it now, I loved her once too. And that’s not just goin away.”

“I’m sorry.” She averted her eyes.

So I cupped her face in my one good hand and made her look back at me. “we lost a lot of people, but justice was served. Hintzen is dead because of us and our friends never forget that. If you want to make their sacrifices mean anything we have to live on.”

Softly she smiled. It wasn’t exactly the care free smile I hoped to see but it was a start. She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I love it when you get all righteous.” 

Amari shut down the memory machine with Mags in it. I hadn’t been prepared to figure out what to do with Mags if Vel had been transferred. Death was a mercy compared to the alternatives. Most of all playing host to that psycho. “I’d like to ask you what happened but I’m sure you’ve already gotten that too much.” Her voice sounded guarded, reluctant even. Nobody wanted bad news.

“Nick!!” 

Something crashed into me so hard, and with enough surprise, to take me to the floor. I hit the ground in a heap, a screw popped out of its socket and span away under a table somewhere. There was a lot of noise, mostly angry insults and laughter. When my senses came back into focus I found Ellie half strangling half hugging me. Gray stood over us, laughing her ass off. 

“you’ve got to stop doing this!!” Ellie was crying and shouting in my face. “how many times are you going to make me think you’re dead?! this isn’t fair! You selfish prick!”

“Ellie please, you’re gonna break me.” 

“careful Ellie he’s old as dirt!” Gray half laughed, half winced. One of her hands on her side. Fahrenheit might have broken a rib when she was being rough with Vel.

“don’t think you’re getting away with it either.” 

I just managed to catch a glimpse of Sarah punching Gray hard in the arm before Ellie slapped me across the face. “I’m sorry Ellie, can I get up now?” 

“no!” with folded arms she continued to straddle my stomach. glaring me hard in the face. finally I could get a look at her. There were bags under her eyes, some of her hair was burned, traces of blood just under her ears. “I’ve been losing sleep worrying about you and Vel! Hintzen! You went after Hintzen and you didn’t tell me!”

“Ellie calm down, what happened to you?” 

“Ellie, you’re going to make your injuries worse if you keep this up.” It was Sarah of all people that saved me from my enraged secretary. With gentle hands she guided her off me. Gray offered me a hand up, still smiling. 

“don’t look so pleased or I’m wrestling you when we get back to the agency.” I smirked at her. 

Laughing she shook her head. “that won’t be nearly so fun when you’re missing half your lips.” 

“what?!” Ellie shot a glare that could kill both of us. Sarah was at her side, peering at her ear. 

There were days when I wished I wasn’t a detective. Those dots connected faster than I wanted. “ah hell Ellie tell me you didn’t go deaf.”

“what?” that time she was mocking me. “hope you’ve got disability benefits or something! cause I can only hear out of one ear!” 

“she’s exaggerating.” Sarah tried to smile which was hard thanks to the bandage wrapped around her head. “a little bit.”

“and what happened to you?” gone for a couple days and these two looked like they had as bad a time as we did. 

Gray opened her mouth to explain but Ellie cut her off with a wave of her hand. “don’t worry about it, but get used to me ignoring you more often.” 

She was doing that thing where she was trying to act like it was no big deal even though it was. All just to spare me from guilt. Damn it Ellie. At some point I’d have to pry the truth out of someone, or Gray would tell me. in the mean time I’d just have to assume whatever happened was bad and it was somehow connected to Hintzen. 

When I was up Ellie threw her arms back around my chest, this time leaning much more heavily on the hug side of things. “so is it over?” she asked into my shoulder.

Gray and I looked to one another. It was a strange feeling. For the first time in a long time there was no case. No matter how many cases we were getting at the agency Hintzen was always hanging at the back of my mind. he was gone. That threat was eliminated just the same as Winter. There’d be another case, there always was, but right then there wasn’t. Right then it was just me and Gray and our friends and family. 

“yeah, it’s over.” 

There was only one thing left to do. but I wasn’t about to rush it now. I was going to do it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, one last chapter to post and this journey will be over. I don't anticipate having much to really say next week so i'll go ahead and write some thoughts here today.
> 
> First, thank you to everyone that has made it this far with me. It's been a hell of a journey, a lot of things have changed. I can't believe that I started this, what, two or so years ago? So much has changed, not just my writing, I'm in a completely different place than I was when I started posting this madness. So thank you to all of you that have been part of this journey with me. 
> 
> Second, just a couple notes about the story. This will be the last bit of Blood Alloy that I post. I need to get back to my own writing and focus on my studies a little more than I have been. To that end, there were two major plot points that I wrote in to prevent myself from writing any more installments. First, Hancock. I feel terrible, I didn't really want to do it, but somebody had to die, and if I had let him live I'd be too tempted to write a continuation about Hancock being a grandpa. Second, Vel dying. This was one of those Deus Ex Machina moments where I just couldn't let her live. She won, no doubt about it. Without my divine intervention she wins, she gets away. So my personal head canon is that she gets away, and have played around with the consequences of that. But, to keep myself from writing anything official, and to let Gray and Nick to finally have their little happy ending, Vel officially dies. 
> 
> So, thank you everybody once again for being with me this whole time. Just the epilogue left, little happily ever after to tie off the series. 
> 
> And for those of you that want to write but struggles to find the confidence to do it or has a hard time even starting something. Remember that nothing is perfect, but you can always edit a blank page. So never stop writing on!


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